Post by RoxMonster on May 22, 2015 21:57:34 GMT -5
OMG my jaw pretty much dropped while reading this. Probably because my H would be dead if he ever did this to me.
I 100% am with you on not liking a bunch of people in my space. If I have friends over for dinner/drinks/some games or whatever, OK, it's around 10:00 and everyone can go on home now so I can put on PJs and cuddle with my dog. LOL for real. I would be....I don't even have words for how livid I would be if H pulled this stunt on me. I would honestly probably leave and go to a hotel for the weekend. I don't even think I'm kidding about that.
You need to make your H miserable for this decision.
I'm sorry, if you dress in nice clothes and shop for the guests, HOW WILL HE LEARN?
HE WON'T. EVER. IMAGINE SURPRISE GUESTS FOR EVERY HOLIDAY WEEKEND.
Channel your rage, sally. It's for his own good!
Exactly. I don't understand the reaction of "I'm SO fucking pissed but I'm also changing into nice clothes and planning a grocery list." Your actions do not say rage, they say something more like oh well, feel free to do this again sometime, honey.
This is a no go. I wound seriously just outright say no. Plus she's pregnant so you can't drink wine with her. That sounds like an awful short/no notice guest scenario.
This sort of happened to me. I checked into a nearby boutique hotel for a night and ordered truffle something or other and a fancy cheese plate at the restaurant for dinner and got bottomless mimosas at brunch. When I checked in and showed the front desk my ID, the guy did a double take and said, we usually don't get people from two blocks away. I was like, husband has a house guest.
You need to make your H miserable for this decision.
I'm sorry, if you dress in nice clothes and shop for the guests, HOW WILL HE LEARN?
HE WON'T. EVER. IMAGINE SURPRISE GUESTS FOR EVERY HOLIDAY WEEKEND.
Channel your rage, sally. It's for his own good!
Heed these words, Sally.
Before you know it, you're gonna be on the phone with Directv when you have the realization your FIL was the one who ordered two pornos on Christmas and you're going to want to die of embarrassment right then and there.
My H has done this before. Not overnight guests, but dinner/evening guests. He learned his lesson when he then had to uninvite them and look like a moron. Now he alwayyyyssss asks.
I don't mind hosting, but need to mentally prepare.
I think the issue is that some people are just really private people, I know I am. It's just how I am. I LOVE to host and have people over and eat and drink....then have them get the fuck out so I can take my bra off and watch TV, alone with my H. It's just how I am. Maybe Sally is like that too, IDK.
Yes. This is how I am. I have already changed back into appropriate hosting clothes and am planning what I need to get at the grocery store tomorrow. FUCK. I'm so mad.
"Changed back into appropriate hosting clothes" is code for "DH has been chainsawed into small pieces" and "planning...grocery store tomorrow" is code for "who wants to help run the woodchipper?" Right?
Really, don't do shit to help him host and enjoy your expensive spa weekend away. REALLY.
I think the issue is that some people are just really private people, I know I am. It's just how I am. I LOVE to host and have people over and eat and drink....then have them get the fuck out so I can take my bra off and watch TV, alone with my H. It's just how I am. Maybe Sally is like that too, IDK.
Yes. This is how I am. I have already changed back into appropriate hosting clothes and am planning what I need to get at the grocery store tomorrow. FUCK. I'm so mad.
I haven't read all the responses, so this may have been stated (many times) already: what HE needs to get at the grocery store. And make a list of what HE needs to do, clean, etc. for HIS overnight guests. You do nothing. This is the only way he will learn. That, plus an expensive spa day for you.
In certain ways, my H and I are on the exact same page. This would never happen because neither of us enjoy having random company. I have no idea how one would handle this situation. The two nights thing has me totally confused. It's weird that people who live in the area would even stay one night, but two? Is your H friends with college students? I really don't comprehend this
Sally, he fucked up enormously, but I too would be making a food shopping run and cleaning up the house because it was bred into me to be a gracious hostess, even with unexpected guests. I'm not even southern! Just the product of a line of clean freak, feed everyone, Pennsylvania Dutch women.
Sally, he fucked up enormously, but I too would be making a food shopping run and cleaning up the house because it was bred into me to be a gracious hostess, even with unexpected guests. I'm not even southern! Just the product of a line of clean freak, feed everyone, Pennsylvania Dutch women.
No. Come on. Gracious guests do not drop in your lap with no notice.
I agree 100% and I would be plotting ways to make my H suffer for months. But with the people actually there in the house, I would go into full "vacuum, dust, stock the fridge" mode because it would give me anxiety. I would hate every minute of it, too. We don't have overnight guests ever. I don't even like when people stop by to drop something off.
Sally, he fucked up enormously, but I too would be making a food shopping run and cleaning up the house because it was bred into me to be a gracious hostess, even with unexpected guests. I'm not even southern! Just the product of a line of clean freak, feed everyone, Pennsylvania Dutch women.
I get this temptation but A STAND NEEDS TO BE TAKEN.
Sally's H is being a terrorist. We can't appease terrorists with groceries and cleaning the house.
Sally, he fucked up enormously, but I too would be making a food shopping run and cleaning up the house because it was bred into me to be a gracious hostess, even with unexpected guests. I'm not even southern! Just the product of a line of clean freak, feed everyone, Pennsylvania Dutch women.
I get this temptation but A STAND NEEDS TO BE TAKEN.
Sally's H is being a terrorist. We can't appease terrorists with groceries and cleaning the house.
I wish I could explain it, because I know it's not rational. I would just be dying inside that people were seeing my dust and empty fridge and overflowing mail holder. Thanks, mom.
Post by sallywalker on May 23, 2015 13:52:57 GMT -5
I didn't go to the store. We ended up going out for breakfast and are going to cookout for dinner. I kind of feel like a jerk because we are having a good time. H and I are still going to have a looong talk about why this is not ok.
I didn't go to the store. We ended up going out for breakfast and are going to cookout for dinner. I kind of feel like a jerk because we are having a good time. H and I are still going to have a looong talk about why this is not ok.
Having fun despite your husband screwing the pooch HARD does not make you a jerk. It makes you one who adapts well. Even more reason why he should be kissing your ass right now. You are good people, friend.
I didn't go to the store. We ended up going out for breakfast and are going to cookout for dinner. I kind of feel like a jerk because we are having a good time. H and I are still going to have a looong talk about why this is not ok.
I'm glad you updated. I thought we were going to have to get a fund together for your bail.
It was a pretty close call on that last night. I have mellowed today.
We also have been out shopping most of the day today. Anything I have mentioned that I liked, H was all "get it!". They also sent us for pedicures.
Post by wanderlustmom on May 24, 2015 18:12:48 GMT -5
I am a rigid type a extrovert so I would dislike last minute plans but love the company. I think I would roll with the weekend but use the last minute as leverage for something else I want later. Glad it's all worked out
Post by gibbinator on May 24, 2015 19:00:54 GMT -5
I'm glad you ended up having fun. But that's still not ok for your dh to spring guests and hosting duties on you. I feel like guys just don't understand the effort involved in hosting. It's not just beds and spaghetti+canned tomato sauce.
Dh's best friend lives several hours away now, but his dad lives nearby. He often texts dh a couple days ahead of time when he'll be in town visiting family and dh invites him over for dinner. Except dh does not tell me. Ever. Three times this year the guy has shown up before dh got off work and completely surprised me while I was alone at home. The house is always a mess, I'm usually a mess because I've been alone with a baby all day. The most recent time I was wandering the house in a towel trying to find clothes post-shower :/ I was so pissed.
Friend now texts me to make plans when he's going to be in the area.