Teaching women to talk sports at the office

[josieposy]

www.nationaljournal.com/magazine/women-office-learning-sports-20150515

In 2009, a friend asked Shavannia Williams, a former marketing director for the Detroit Lions, for a tutorial on football. The friend, a government lobbyist, had been at a meeting when, as she related it to Williams, another woman in the room had made reference to "the 40-yard line" and then said "something about a ball." The men had nodded along, but Williams's friend had been lost. Could Williams teach her the language?

That conversation spurred Williams to start a football blog on the African-American women's empowerment site blackgirlgrown (the tagline was "to help ladies join the conversation at the office with colleagues, or on the couch with their sweeties"); five years later, it has evolved into the Washington-based Heels & Helmets, an online magazine and a set of workshops designed to help women understand sports. Williams, who runs Heels & Helmets as one arm of her marketing firm, the SW Group, says she holds about 25 workshops—each of which draws roughly 75 women—a year, and she has plans to expand: She's launching a sister nonprofit to run sports programs for teens and is hiring Heels & Helmets' first full-time employee.



Not that all women need a tutorial, of course. Both genders have their share of fans. But even men who are sports-agnostic—or sports-averse—tend to be exposed to competitive athletics enough to absorb at least the basics. Women have traditionally been able to ignore or avoid sports more easily—which, Williams argues, can leave them at a disadvantage both at the water cooler and in the boardroom.

"It's all about communication," says Williams. "If you have never read 1984, The Great Gatsby, Don Quixote, Moby Dick, if you did not go to a high school where those books were mandatory reading, you would not understand the analogies or the references." She says women who don't follow sports sometimes pay for their lack of cultural fluency in much the same way—and a crash course can help level the field. "I like to tell people, when in Rome, you have to do as the Romans do. If you're going to go visit Rome, you have to prepare to be able to communicate with them. As women, we have to recognize that majority rules."


When I meet Williams at a bar on Capitol Hill, she's wearing a pair of bright yellow loafers and—in keeping with the Heels & Helmets brand—toting black stilettos in a pink-and-green bag. She wasn't always a dedicated sports fan, she tells me. Growing up in western Michigan, she was a cheerleader who asked other girls to sub in for her because she hated standing outside in the cold. She got into football in college, at the University of Michigan, where she worked at the athletic department and ended up majoring in sports management. After graduating in 1998, she worked in marketing, often for athletic teams.



Now, through Heels & Helmets, Williams explains football and other sports, and the references to them that tend to pop up in corporate offices and on campaigns. The workshops, often held at the D.C. headquarters of companies such as Microsoft and USA Today, are "very stylish," says Samira Cook Gaines, a former director of the Washington, DC Women's Business Center, a nonprofit that has thrown events with Williams. "The events I've been to, there is beer, but there's always wine, and it always feels like a cocktail party as opposed to like a tailgate party." Williams usually recruits some former pro- or college-football players to take part in the presentations—including Chris Floyd, formerly of the New England Patriots, whom she knew at Michigan—but the workshops aren't just lectures: Williams has been known to demonstrate how specific plays work by pulling women out of the audience and putting them into formation.

According to some of the women who have taken Williams's tutorials, what she teaches can make work life easier in countless little ways. Sports talk, it turns out, is like an all-purpose communication pixie dust, to be sprinkled on moments of awkwardness, boredom, and petty friction. At one Women's Business Center event, recalls Nicole Eickhoff, who worked with the organization at the time, when Williams explained the concept of a left tackle—the player who guards a quarterback's vulnerable blind side—one of the attendees clapped a hand to her mouth. She'd been offended when her boss called her his "left tackle": "She said, 'It made it feel like I'm not his right-hand man,' " Eickhoff recalls. At the workshop, she finally grasped the compliment.


Cee Santos, a government contractor who took the workshop at Microsoft, says football has become "my way in to these guys who looked at me, because I'm much younger than them, as just a young, cute girl. Guys get excited about sports. It puts you on that same playing field where they're more open, and they do think of you" if a promotion or an opportunity comes up. Sports talk can also help liven up a business presentation; Santos usually asks for everyone's favorite team right around the halfway break. "I talk a little bit of trash, and that'll get people more engaged and awake," she says.



If the Heels & Helmets model is about putting women on friendlier terms with their colleagues, does it matter if their interest in the banter is feigned? Williams says no. It's like "someone telling you to share a joke at the beginning of your speech to lighten the mood. Are you a comedian? You may not think you are a funny person at all," she says, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't develop the skill and use it if it will help you achieve your goal.


Williams says she has heard people say that "women should not have to be fake just to get ahead in their career—if you like baking, talk about baking. And I disagree with that. Because if you are the only person who is talking about baking, no one's going to listen to you."

[sushi]

If you bring I'm your baking everyone will love you

[shortstax]

When I worked in steel sales right out of college, I would watch SportsCenter every morning so that I could dish with my older male coworkers and customers. I thought of it as mandatory prep for any meeting, lol.

[heyjude]

I cannot wait for the day when men feel so inclined to take a course on Makeup & Men: Teaching Men to Talk Beauty Products at the Office.

[josieposy]

May 29, 2015 8:23:55 GMT -5 sushi said:

If you bring I'm your baking everyone will love you

I've only heard of baked goods backfiring once at the office, but in that case everyone got food poisoning.

[heyjude]

This whole thing just seems so mad menish retrograde.

[IIOY]

I want so badly to snark about a seminar to teach men how to discuss tampons, but IME, the ability to talk sports at the office does indeed facilitate communication.  I forged bonds with several partners over our love for/hatred of the Eagles, and I wound up being invited to several games that also served as marketing and networking events with clients. I also used to bring up sports at job interviews, and nearly all of my interviewers would immediately smile and relax a bit. People love to talk sports in the office, even more so than they love to discuss the weather.  ETA: To be clear, I have a genuine interest in sports, so sports talk always came naturally to me.

[heyjude]

Chicks in the workplace, amiright?

wonkette.com/585547/city-of-austin-sorry-for-hiring-experts-to-teach-how-lady-leaders-are-different-from-the-regular-kind

[josieposy]

I am a sports fan, so this hasn't been an issue for me. I just don't know how I feel about seminars on the issue. I kinda get it, but at the same time it makes me feel a bit squicky for some reason.

I am a Big Ten fan and worked for awhile with guys who went to Big Ten schools, so at football season we were all tearing into each other. I do the brackets every year and enjoy baseball but I guess I haven't seen how this has made my work life that much easier (other than occasionally scoring free tickets and having one thing in common with the boss).

[jwright]

I've always loved sports and can "talk sports" more knowledgably than most men I know.

This article bothers me. There are many men who are not interested in sports. Can't people just find a different shared interest? Maybe they just need a class on making conversation.

[heyjude]

My office has slowly gotten more brotastic over the years where the only discussions that happen are sports related, mostly basketball or football. Basketball makes me want to stab my eyes out and I like football but OMGWTFBBQ talk about something else for fucks sake!!!!! I'm thinking of monopolizing the converation with figure skating and spa talk.

#notateamplayer

[IIOY]

May 29, 2015 8:43:38 GMT -5 josieposy said:

I am a sports fan, so this hasn't been an issue for me. I just don't know how I feel about seminars on the issue. I kinda get it, but at the same time it makes me feel a bit squicky for some reason.

A seminar on this is gross because the idea of having to train women to be able to communicate with men at the office on a basic level is completely insulting.  The implication is that the men need make no effort to discuss issues of interest to women, and/or that issues of interest to women are of interest only to women. We all know this is how men frequently tend to behave, and we all would love it if this problem would resolve through behavioral changes on the part of men, so holding a seminar on it is a bit like airing dirty laundry because we are taking ownership of a problem that shouldn't be ours to begin with.

[josieposy]

May 29, 2015 8:47:38 GMT -5 IIOY said:

May 29, 2015 8:43:38 GMT -5 josieposy said:

I am a sports fan, so this hasn't been an issue for me. I just don't know how I feel about seminars on the issue. I kinda get it, but at the same time it makes me feel a bit squicky for some reason.

A seminar on this is gross because the idea of having to train women to be able to communicate with men at the office on a basic level is completely insulting.  The implication is that the men need make no effort to discuss issues of interest to women, and/or that issues of interest to women are of interest only to women. We all know this is how men frequently tend to behave, and we all would love it if this problem would resolve through behavioral changes on the part of men, so holding a seminar on it is a bit like airing dirty laundry because we are taking ownership of a problem that shouldn't be ours to begin with.

I also kinda hate the last paragraph where she disputes the idea that women shouldn't have to fake it to make it.

[wawa]

May 29, 2015 8:38:28 GMT -5 IIOY said:

I want so badly to snark about a seminar to teach men how to discuss tampons, but IME, the ability to talk sports at he office does indeed facilitate communication.  I forged bonds with several partners over our love for/hatred of the Eagles, and I wound up being invited to several games that also served as marketing and networking events with clients. I also used to bring up sports at job interviews, and nearly all of my interviewers would immediately smile and relax a bit. People love to talk sports in the office, even more so than they love to discuss the weather.  ETA: To be clear, I have a genuine interest in sports, so sports talk always came naturally to me.

I think a better comparison in terms of this is just a cultural literacy thing is dudes having a basic understanding of childbearing.  Maybe there should be seminars on that one.

Like, basic terminology - weeks, trimesters, etc.    How you shouldn't ever EVER ask a pregnant lady if she's sure she's not having twins.  How YES REALLY I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE COFFEE STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. 

Being clearly and noticeably pregnant at many many client meetings over the past couple of moths has been interesting - I am on a project with an absolutely enormous team and it's been hard to keep track of who's who.  But the dudes in my age bracket who's wives have recently had kids are all my new BFF's because it seems like they want to show off that they TOTALLY KNOW THINGS about my giant belly.  It's kinda hilarious.  And useful as an ice breaker, just like being able to be like, "oh, so you're based out of Philly?  What do you think about Chip Kelly's chances of not sucking this year?"

Whereas the guys with no kids all just sort of pointedly do not look at my midsection and are awkward and weird because I guess I'm the elephant in the room?  Like they feel like they should say something, but they have no idea what to say, and then they're afraid of saying something wrong.   It's like having a giant goiter basically.  Or a huge mole on my face.  It's cool dudes - just a fetus. 

anyway - if it wasn't clear - my initial reaction to this is a little eye-rolly, but I do think that in the US knowing the absolute basics of football is just a cultural literacy item.  Just like its' hard to have a small talk conversation with people who don't own TV's, knowing absolutely jack about football besides that it's the one with the funny shaped ball is limiting.

[pixy0stix]

This is so foreign to me.

Although, if I moved to a workplace that used cricket terms, I'm sure I'd be thoroughly lost.

[heyjude]

"Okay Bros, we need to tackle this issue just like Kristi Yamaguchi did at the 92 Olympics during her Tripple salchow! Toe pic!"

[nomad100]

May 29, 2015 8:47:38 GMT -5 IIOY said:

 The implication is that the men need make no effort to discuss issues of interest to women, and/or that issues of interest to women are of interest only to women.

This is my problem with this.

Plus, I have way better things to do with my time, like just about anything else, than watch sports.  I don't like sports.  Never have. Never will.  I know the basics enough to know that yup, still don't like sports.  

Now, I can talk to anyone about just about anything but if all someone wants to talk about is sports?  That diminishes my opinion of them since I can't imagine having only one thing to talk about all.the.damn.time (I work with someone like this and he is the most boring person to talk to).

[aurora]

What about we women who want to talk about non-mainstream sports?

I don't really care about football, but I do think it's important in a business setting to understand mainstream metaphors (e.g., the business meaning of hitting a home run, being at the 10-yard line, etc.). I'm sure it differs by job and geography, but I think it's less critical to be able to rank the top 10 teams this year and that sort of thing.

[wawa]

May 29, 2015 8:59:18 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

This is so foreign to me.

Although, if I moved to a workplace that used cricket terms, I'm sure I'd be thoroughly lost.

I feel like this happened to me.  I moved to an office where everybody is really into soccer.  I know nothing.  They're all from PA, so football season is fun - we all gang up on the one Giant's fan and the one Washington Fan - but then the world cup happened and I was like.....uhhh, sure.  Is that the guy with the underwear commercial?  Go...Argentina???  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

[pixy0stix]

May 29, 2015 9:05:43 GMT -5 wawa said:

May 29, 2015 8:59:18 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

This is so foreign to me.

Although, if I moved to a workplace that used cricket terms, I'm sure I'd be thoroughly lost.

I feel like this happened to me.  I moved to an office where everybody is really into soccer.  I know nothing.  They're all from PA, so football season is fun - we all gang up on the one Giant's fan and the one Washington Fan - but then the world cup happened and I was like.....uhhh, sure.  Is that the guy with the underwear commercial?  Go...Argentina???  I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

I get soccer, somewhat. I really had to brush up on my soccer knowledge because my (female) former boss was a soccer nut.

[josieposy]

Yeah soccer and hockey might as well be played by aliens. All I know is what I learned from Ladybugs and Mighty Ducks.

[heyjude]

Or when we have a difficult client: "this is just like that time Burger left the "I can't" post-it on Carrie's computer! Right office dudes?!"

[sushi]

H is really into lacrosse, so that's the only sports I watch.

Did you guys know that last weekend du won the NCAA championship making them the first ever west of the Mississippi? You didn't? Oh, OK, we can talk about something else, then.

[pixy0stix]

May 29, 2015 9:09:15 GMT -5 sushi said:

Did you guys know that last weekend du won the NCAA championship making them the first ever west of the Mississippi? You didn't? Oh, OK, we can talk about something else, then.

OOO! I actually did know this, BUT it's been all over the local news.

[pixy0stix]

May 29, 2015 9:09:09 GMT -5 heyjude said:

Or when we have a difficult client: "this is just like that time Burger left the "I can't" post-it on Carrie's computer! Right office dudes?!"

I dunno what this means.

[pescalita]

In the early days of our company, the big joke was that me and the (only) other woman knew more about sports than all the male engineers combined.

[heyjude]

May 29, 2015 9:10:47 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 29, 2015 9:09:09 GMT -5 heyjude said:

Or when we have a difficult client: "this is just like that time Burger left the "I can't" post-it on Carrie's computer! Right office dudes?!"

I dunno what this means.

Come to my seminar. That will be $300.

[sushi]

May 29, 2015 9:10:47 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

May 29, 2015 9:09:09 GMT -5 heyjude said:

Or when we have a difficult client: "this is just like that time Burger left the "I can't" post-it on Carrie's computer! Right office dudes?!"

I dunno what this means.

My h does. Its from his favorite movie.

[heyjude]

May 29, 2015 9:19:01 GMT -5 sushi said:

May 29, 2015 9:10:47 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I dunno what this means.

My h does. Its from his favorite movie.

TV show!!!!!

[wawa]

I think of that scene every time I see a scrunchie.

My current boss uses football terms all the damn time. I sometimes wonder if I'd have picked them up from context by now if I hadn't asked my boyfriend junior year of college to teach me the rules. Stuff like punting and lots of talk of getting downs and moving the sticks and such.