Yes, I had three bridesmaids, my best friend from HS, my best friend from college, and my SIL (H's sister). I wouldn't say that I'm close to my SIL, but I see her often and we're friendly. And I'm still good friends with my two BFFs.
Yes. My MOH and I have been friends since we were 18. My other bridesmaids I have been friends with since I was 7, 12, 13, and 16.
None of them are going anywhere. One of them I talk to on the phone for an hour a day at least; two I talk to regularly (like weekly), and the other two I am in steady communication with via texting and FB, though not the phone.
Post by Velar Fricative on Jun 22, 2015 14:07:00 GMT -5
My two MOHs were my sisters and my BMs were my best friend, my SIL, and two first cousins I was very close with. We got married 6+ years ago.
I have the same close relationship with my sisters, SIL, and best friend. I'm still friendly with my cousins but we're not as close as we were.
ETA: DH had three Best Men (his brothers) and three Groomsmen (his two closest friends and my brother). Nothing has changed in any of those relationships.
My MOH and I had a falling out when I was 9 months pregnant with my first baby . So it's been nearly 5 years since we've spoken and we had been friends since kindergarten.
Long, not so interesting, story short, she was really, really angry with me for ignoring her for a few days when I had just had enough of the "have you had the baby yet?!?!!?" frenzy. She also expected to be called when I went into labor and I did not call her, and I had told her I wasn't going to call her from the get go. She got the same announcement as everyone else and this infuriated her to the point where she literally cut off all contact. She even mailed back DD's birth announcement, which for me, was the final petty straw. It makes me sad at times, but then at other times, I'm somewhat relieved to be away from the constant drama. Between her and my mom, I don't know how I even left the house before lol. I wish her well and there's part of me that hopes we reconnect down the line.
My sister and SIL were two more and then two of my very best girlfriends. I'm still really close to the other four. I also had two really close friends do readings. Love them all.
I only had a MOH, my SIL, and she's still the one I would pick today. Not that we're particularly close, but our wedding was very small, with my brother as BM, so it made sense for her to be MOH.
On a side note: would you be offended if your future SIL did not ask you to be a bridesmaid (brother's fiance). She is having 11 attendants, none of them family. Strange?
I might find this strange, but especially so if I get along with future SIL and/or am close with my brother.
Thanks for validating. Honestly it didn't occur to me until I shared news of the engagement and people started asking if I was a bridesmaid. I am close with my brother, it's just the two of us and she is an only child. She and I get along great, though we've never spent one on one time together. I should be thankful, because I'll have a 6 month old and it might be a pain to be uber involved, but now I'm feeling brushed off, lol.
On a side note: would you be offended if your future SIL did not ask you to be a bridesmaid (brother's fiance). She is having 11 attendants, none of them family. Strange?
Yes, I would. I can't remember a wedding party in my circle that didn't include a BIL or SIL unless the bride/groom whose sibling it is doesn't have a great relationship with them.
Yes! My bm's were my sister, my college roommate, and two bff's I met in my sorority. Still talk to them and hang out as much as we can, despite being somewhat spread out geographically.
I had 3 bridesmaids - 2 of the 3 I am still close with and don't regret. One has stopped talking to me for a reason I'm unaware of.
I also had a bridesman - my brother stood up for me. Absolutely no regrets. About 6 months after the wedding, he told us he had a boyfriend, and the decision felt like foreshadowing.
Yes. Two of the three I've been best friends with since childhood. The third, since we were 19. They are all my three favorite. I'm so glad I didn't choose anyone else or add any more.
I had three friends, my sister, and my sister-in-law. Still as close to them as ever!
If I had it to do over again, I have three other people I would add to the bunch. One I didn't know when we got married, and the others I was just as close to as I am now, but I didn't add them because they're guys and I didn't really know what to do with them (didn't want to suck them into the shower and such, and they weren't close enough to my husband for me to throw them in that pack). I regret that.
I might find this strange, but especially so if I get along with future SIL and/or am close with my brother.Â
Thanks for validating. Honestly it didn't occur to me until I shared news of the engagement and people started asking if I was a bridesmaid. I am close with my brother, it's just the two of us and she is an only child. She and I get along great, though we've never spent one on one time together. I should be thankful, because I'll have a 6 month old and it might be a pain to be uber involved, but now I'm feeling brushed off, lol.Â
Yeah, I think it's weird. I didn't have my SIL, although my brother stood up on DHs side. We're not close and I only had three attendants. I wouldn't be upset if it was a Small group, but 11? And you're close with your brother and you get along great? That's weird.
Post by shamrockshake on Jun 22, 2015 14:23:51 GMT -5
I had my sister, my 2 bffs since childhood and one other friend. no regrets, I still talk to them all regularly. The 2 bffs are now my dd4's godmothers
I only had two bridesmaids and I should have had more because I left out a couple of close friends trying to balance DH's two groomsmen. My SIL was one bridesmaid and she lives nearby and she basically never talks to me. My other bridesmaid was a really good friend of mine and we don't talk much anymore because we have very different lives now, but I am glad I chose her.
I didn't have my husband's brother's wife in my wedding party. I don't regret it, even though I like her fine.
I didn't, either, but did have her three children in my wedding. I didn't have my other brother's wife because other brother and I barely speak, so it was a conscious decision.
I did, however, have DH's sister in my wedding party.
Also, wow, @kirkette. Just wow.
ETA: Gah, reading fail. My husband has no brother. I was talking about my own brothers' wives.
Still close! But I didn't pick any random friends. They are all relates or former roommates.
My sis DH's sis SIL (wife of DH's twin), who was also a former roommate of mine My college roommate, who I'm still super close with jessnpaul, who I lived with for 5 years and who will never get rid of me
I didn't, either, but did have her three children in my wedding. I didn't have my other brother's wife because other brother and I barely speak, so it was a conscious decision.
I did, however, have DH's sister in my wedding party.
Also, wow, @kirkette. Just wow.
ETA: Gah, reading fail. My husband has no brother. I was talking about my own brothers' wives.
FSIL has said she'd like my DD to be a part of the ceremony in some way, but we don't know how. She and this LO are invited even though no other children are. At least she's not asking me to leave a 6 month old nursing infant at home!
My 2 sisters and 2 BFFs, yes. A 5th friend that I still care for but she lives oout of state and has a lot of social anxiety so we don't talk much, but I'm always thrilled to hear from her.
I wish I could have had more, but 5 seemed to be pushing it with only 85 guests total, ha! DH had 4 groomsmen and a groom's woman. He is no longer close to one of the groomsmen.
Ehh, no worries. She was incredibly needy for a long time but it was always our normal and I honestly didn't know any better with also having a mom that's similar to yours .
My tolerance for it faded, especially once I got married. Even on my wedding day, she showed up super late, barely in time for pictures and then was all pissed off that my other bridesmaid called her on it. Drama, always.
I probably wasn't as fair to her as I should have been either towards the end. I was super pregnant in July and my tolerance for manipulation was non-existent. And then immediately pp, I had enough to deal with adjusting to parenthood, recovering from an emergency csection and dealing with my crazy mom, I didn't have the strength, nor did I care. I know I hurt her, and I know she feels very justified in cutting me off because of it (allll this played out with a mutual friend relaying her anger to me). I hope that if she has a baby someday, she comes to a level of understanding for my side. But there's no way to say that without being super condescending so I'm just leaving it alone.
I have plenty of friends that have never made me feel guilty or like shit for simply making choices that work best for me. I have lots of people in my life that wouldn't manipulate me. And thankfully those friends have given me the strength to break away from the toxic people I was raised around, mainly this friend and my mom.
But shit if I don't think that sometimes it's me lol.
Post by SallySparrow on Jun 22, 2015 15:01:44 GMT -5
I don't regret having any of them as bridesmaids. I'm still pretty close with three of them. We don't talk all the time, but we keep up with each other and try to get together when we're all in town.
One of them I don't talk to at all anymore. Her husband is kind of an a-hole and she has a bunch of kids. She doesn't have a lot of time for anything.
And one I talk to occasionally, but we rarely hang out. We had been friends since kindergarten, so we're stuck with each other. lol