Fuck. We have firmly been OAD. Lillian is older and I can kind of see how not having a sibling is affecting her. She has a BFF at school but sometimes the little girl plays with someone else and L gets upset about it. The teachers say they go back and forth all day long, fighting, then playing like sisters. Then she comes home and it's just the 3 of us. She calls our dog her sister. She asked last week for a brother and a sister. Maybe this is normal for all kids with their friends at school but I wasn't expecting the clicks to be forming this early in the school game. I just wish she had a sibling to come home to and know there was someone for her to play with.
I was talking to my husband about it and he said even he was feeling bad. When we go to the beach condo, she has all of us adults to play with. I don't know. I just wish I wasn't at this heavy of a weight or else I would be pushing for another baby. My age doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
I am pretty sure we won't be having another child, but I have just been having a lot of thoughts lately. I wasn't expecting them to last this long.
I just want to offer you huge hugs.
A kept asking when I was going to have a baby in my belly, and after my surgery she asked about a little sister. Cue tears. Deciding to be OAD is not easy, but you know what is best for your family. L is so, so loved. She will be okay as an only child!
melmon0417 thank you, and hugs back to you. Whenever I see your pics on IG I think that A and L seem so much a like with their personalities, the things they love.
katie A talks all.the.time about having a baby brother or sister. He refers to his Lightning McQueen cars as his brothers. We have talked about it from time to time, and sometimes have some weak moments, but our feet are firmly planted in the OAD camp. It certainly doesn't help that everyone tells us how A needs a little bro or sis and how cute our little girl would be. We remind ourselves that with our lives, only having A allows us to give him the things and experiences that we want to. And I really can't imagine doing the newborn phase all over again.
Thanks! @smudgee I know she will be fine, it's just pulling at my heart strings a little right now. And I talked to her about her friend and not to be sad if her BFF plays with another kid. That she could play with other kids too, not just this one little girl. She actually gave me a big hug after our talk, so I think she understood a little.
katie A talks all.the.time about having a baby brother or sister. He refers to his Lightning McQueen cars as his brothers. We have talked about it from time to time, and sometimes have some weak moments, but our feet are firmly planted in the OAD camp. It certainly doesn't help that everyone tells us how A needs a little bro or sis and how cute our little girl would be. We remind ourselves that with our lives, only having A allows us to give him the things and experiences that we want to. And I really can't imagine doing the newborn phase all over again.
Thank you, so very true and always in our minds too.
rainbowchip I bet he will do really well in kindergarten. The structure and new enviornment might help him. Also he sounds like he has a lot of energy and maybe he will discover something he loves in school and can focus all that energy on it like; music class, a sport or art class. Like a positive outlet. I know I teach older kids but some of the kids who have a hard time settling down do really well in special areas like art (more hands on and project/choice based) My district has a pre-1st class for kids who aren't ready to move out of K and they don't want to hold them back. Maybe they have something like that too, if he needed it.
He is very creative and he is also very pig headed. He does what he wants. And if he gets upset about something, he completely shuts down. I feel like he is doing a bit better in summer school than he was in 4K but it's still not great. Honestly, I'm embarrassed that the teacher has to call or email me almost daily. And it's so hit or miss with him.
What's on the list? He's doing great, don't worry!
10.5 months old.
I'm just feeling guilty because we don't get to give him the same attention we did to Delaney but I know that's the case with second (and more) children.
Umm these seem kind of crazy! Audrey didn't point until maybe 13 months? And half of those things a baby would only know how to do if you taught them to do it.
rainbowchip I bet he will do really well in kindergarten. The structure and new enviornment might help him. Also he sounds like he has a lot of energy and maybe he will discover something he loves in school and can focus all that energy on it like; music class, a sport or art class. Like a positive outlet. I know I teach older kids but some of the kids who have a hard time settling down do really well in special areas like art (more hands on and project/choice based) My district has a pre-1st class for kids who aren't ready to move out of K and they don't want to hold them back. Maybe they have something like that too, if he needed it.
He is very creative and he is also very pig headed. He does what he wants. And if he gets upset about something, he completely shuts down. I feel like he is doing a bit better in summer school than he was in 4K but it's still not great. Honestly, I'm embarrassed that the teacher has to call or email me almost daily. And it's so hit or miss with him.
Don't be embarrassed! I have some parents I have to contact a lot more than others, it's just reality. I hope he continues to do well this summer and maybe if you get him really excited for K he will surprise you!
The more I read that list the more irritated I get. It seems way off base! Although I never looked much into wonder weeks because I didn't want to know how long the tough parts are supposed to last. Rather find out on my own lol.
@katieh1012 big hugs honey. You will make the right decision for your fam and for L. It has to be such a hard decision. In a way I'm glad it was kind of taken out of my hands bc idk that I would have ever decided to have another so I get you there.
As you said, your age is fine! And honey, your weight is fine too. You are beautiful. I only mention that Since you say you'd be pushing for a baby otherwise.
Offering big hugs and lots of positive thoughts for you. We love you.
Post by laurensmomma on Jun 30, 2015 10:13:36 GMT -5
katie, I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I had several months of that too. Did you check out that book I told you about? Try finding it at a local library if you can. I borrowed it from someone, otherwise I would offer to send you my copy. It really did help me to unDer stand my feelings and come to peace with raising Lauren as an only child. (If that's even what you want to do).
melmon0417 thank you, and hugs back to you. Whenever I see your pics on IG I think that A and L seem so much a like with their personalities, the things they love.
I totally agree! If we end up coming down next year to Disney, we'll have to meet their crazy asses up!
ladybug E doesn't do 98% of those things and she's older than R. That chart seems a little advanced to me.
Okay thank you because I was feeling crazy! The other "leaps" have been more realistic/accurate but this seemed advanced to me but then I just thought maybe I wasn't working with him enough or something
I get very annoyed at reading these Wonder Weeks posts. Just let them be babies/kids, man.
lol well I do like it because it is so accurate with fussy periods!! So I check it when he's grumpy or not sleeping well to see how long it should last. They are pretty on point with that part
ladybug E doesn't do 98% of those things and she's older than R. That chart seems a little advanced to me.
Okay thank you because I was feeling crazy! The other "leaps" have been more realistic/accurate but this seemed advanced to me but then I just thought maybe I wasn't working with him enough or something
These are ridiculous. I literally LOL'd at E being able to tell me where to go or understanding if I asked her how big she is. I feel like these are even advanced in comparison to what the developmental and speech therapist expected out of L at 18ish months.
melmon0417 thank you, and hugs back to you. Whenever I see your pics on IG I think that A and L seem so much a like with their personalities, the things they love.
I totally agree! If we end up coming down next year to Disney, we'll have to meet their crazy asses up!
Reading about the current Wonder Weeks leap Rhys is supposed to be in makes me feel like a failure as a parent. He can't do any of what they list... Although I pray it really is why he's been SO whiny lately because according to that the leap will be over in a few days!
Well, Charlie tries to dress herself, if by dress herself you mean put her sister's panties on her head.
I never put too much stock in these types of things.
Well, maybe Rose. But if I asked them how big they are they'd stare at me. They also don't really point, they just get (or destroy) what they want.
Anyway I think it's kind of silly to say a 10 month old should be doing all those things. I hate all of these expectations! Our parents never had lists like that to look at. Try not to worry ladybug! He's perfect.
Post by The Foozzler on Jun 30, 2015 11:12:46 GMT -5
I am kind of regretting my decision to not get a tubal during my C-section. I have always wanted two kids and I'm 100% done and so is H. We are both in our mid 30s so it's not like we're that young. The only thing that stopped me was the nagging feeling of what if something happened to one of our children. And I feel terrible thinking about it that way.
rainbowchip my nephew was similar. When he got into a structured kindergarten, he thrived. He still struggled with self-control, so they set up a long-term reward system for him. If he managed an entire month without ending up on red/changing his behavior card (can't remember which it was), they bought him a trampoline for the backyard. It worked really well, because he was able to start looking at the long-term consequences of behavior and not just "tomorrow is another day, no biggie." The teacher also knew about the plan and would remind him.
katie, Abby started asking for a brother or sister around this age, and when we were around family, she was usually the only child there until Caleb was born just before she turned 5. It made her kind of spoiled for attention, but she loved it. I think a lot of it is the age, when children are just starting to recognize how families work and that there are differences in families. So questions like, "Why does X have a baby brother and I don't," "Why do they have a dog," "Why do I have a mommy and daddy and so and so has two mommies?" are just par for the course. It may not mean she's harboring some deep yearning.
fadedscars, like others have said, I think all of us feel that way at one time or another. I think we all know there are some who may dislike us, or at least have something against us, or tolerate us, etc, and it's hard because we're not interacting with people face to face, so we can't see who turns away from our posts, what people are feeling when they respond. Try not to worry too much about it. After all, I like you, and isn't that really all that matters?
Andrew hasn't really gone through a 4 month wakeful (knock wood). He struggled with naps but his night time sleep has been unaffected. I kind of think Madison was the same way. I think he will either have the regression later or just skip this one. My theory is the regression is due to them learning to skills like rolling and stuff, right? My kids just don't do that shit until later. So he will either regress later or will be fine because he can already self soothe. I walk in there and kid is ferociously sucking his thumb to fall back asleep.
I am also seriously stressed (again) at the lack of gross motor skills with my baby. I know that I shouldn't wish him to grow up but he doesn't even roll to his side (and he'll be 6 months next week)
Oh, oh! It pisses me off so much when people make comments that their kid is so tiny (after seeing my beast) because they are 'always moving' and show me a picture of them in their jumperoo. What in the actual fuck are you implying? My kid is a lazy sloth? He kicks and punches with the best of them and loves his jumperoo.
Oh, oh! It pisses me off so much when people make comments that their kid is so tiny (after seeing my beast) because they are 'always moving' and show me a picture of them in their jumperoo. What in the actual fuck are you implying? My kid is a lazy sloth? He kicks and punches with the best of them and loves his jumperoo.
Tell them to SHUT UP!
But really, I'm sorry that you're bothered by stuff like this. Andrew is perfect.