Calling CPS/cops on someone else

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Have you called? If so for what?

I've seen a few questionable things over the years and I've always wondered whether it was worth it or not. Nothing extreme but definitely things that didn't seem right.

I've only called cops once for kid left in a car. I sat and watched for a few minutes thinking it might be a quick in and out trip to grab something small but nope.

[auroraloo]

I've reported through work as a mandated reporter. Never in my neighborhood. I haven't seen anything to report though.

[panicked]

I have several times. One was a case of suspected abuse in one of my daycare kids, the other was my neighbor across the street.

[andrewsgal]

Yes all through work. Honestly it's why a lot of the call CPS crap around here gets an eyeroll from me. The crap I have seen is the stuff nightmares are made of.

[dizzycooks]

Yes, all through work. I've never seen anything in my neighborhood to make me really worry.

[rosesandpetals]

Yes. Things related to work and one personal matter with a family member. Never someone in the neighborhood or anything.

Some things are truly awful, things that I will always remember. Other things are not that severe but definitely cross the line into abuse and someone needs to speak for those kids.

[cna]

Thankfully I haven't had to. My sister had CPS called on her and she lost custody of her daughter.

[penguingrrl]

Sort of. In HS I found out a friend's mother was abusing her and went to my guidance counseler, who of course called CPS.

I have never made the call myself because I haven't come across a situation that warranted it. I am very thankful for that.

[mamaalysson]

Jul 13, 2015 22:00:36 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Yes, all through work. I've never seen anything in my neighborhood to make me really worry.

Ditto this.

[quesyrah]

Yes. In the apartment we lived in when we first got married I called on our upstairs neighbors. I also called the police on them twice when the husband got so loud that it was obvious it was a DV issue.

The kid got removed and the couple moved out in the middle of the night one night. I always wonder what happened to them

[quesyrah]

Jul 13, 2015 20:52:55 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Yes all through work. Honestly it's why a lot of the call CPS crap around here gets an eyeroll from me. The crap I have seen is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Jul 14, 2015 10:09:40 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jul 13, 2015 20:52:55 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Yes all through work. Honestly it's why a lot of the call CPS crap around here gets an eyeroll from me. The crap I have seen is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

This is kind of where I'm at. I've seen stuff where I think people may need a parenting class or some outside help but certainly don't warrant kids removed off the bat or anything. Think house filthy well beyond typical kid clutter/messiness, people who constantly scream at/spank kids for minor offenses publicly (which honestly frightens me because of the possibility of what's happening when others aren't around). I wish there was some sort of happy medium to those parents who may just need a lite help and education but are trying.

[cna]

When DS1 came into the ER with blood spurting out of his foot I thought for sure they were going to call on me. Like I was terrified of what they thought.

For me I think it would be a gut check. My gut is really good at picking up when something is "off".

[iheartthe80s]

Just for work. I did intake for 2 years at CPS so I certainly took enough.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Jul 14, 2015 11:04:54 GMT -5 cna said:

When DS1 came into the ER with blood spurting out of his foot I thought for sure they were going to call on me. Like I was terrified of what they thought.

For me I think it would be a gut check. My gut is really good at picking up when something is "off".

Dd has asd (bet ya didn't know that ) and eloped once. A Good Samaritan who was driving down our road grabbed her and called 911. The cops came and I assumed they would call CPS for sure. Cops did nothing more than make sure I was ok as naturally I was hysterical. I kind of get it-you can't watch kids every second, kids master locks and can get out. Not all (or truthfully most) of kids who wander are neglected but I'm sure some are. Really for all they knew she could have taken off because I left her preschool aged sibling in charge of her while I ran an errand. Kind of scary to think.

[cna]

Jul 14, 2015 11:35:40 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Jul 14, 2015 11:04:54 GMT -5 cna said:

When DS1 came into the ER with blood spurting out of his foot I thought for sure they were going to call on me. Like I was terrified of what they thought.

For me I think it would be a gut check. My gut is really good at picking up when something is "off".

Dd has asd (bet ya didn't know that ) and eloped once. A Good Samaritan who was driving down our road grabbed her and called 911. The cops came and I assumed they would call CPS for sure. Cops did nothing more than make sure I was ok as naturally I was hysterical. I kind of get it-you can't watch kids every second, kids master locks and can get out. Not all (or truthfully most) of kids who wander are neglected but I'm sure some are. Really for all they knew she could have taken off because I left her preschool aged sibling in charge of her while I ran an errand. Kind of scary to think.

It is super scary. I guess the fact that I actually called 911 makes me a pretty good parent even though my kid stabbed himself in the foot on my watch.

[andrewsgal]

Jul 14, 2015 10:09:40 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jul 13, 2015 20:52:55 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Yes all through work. Honestly it's why a lot of the call CPS crap around here gets an eyeroll from me. The crap I have seen is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

No not at all I never said that. When in doubt I would call and let the professionals deal with it. But the I saw a mom yell at her kid or this person spanks isn't getting a call from me.

[quesyrah]

Jul 14, 2015 12:21:22 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Jul 14, 2015 10:09:40 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

No not at all I never said that. When in doubt I would call and let the professionals deal with it. But the I saw a mom yell at her kid or this person spanks isn't getting a call from me.

FWIW I wasn't criticizing. I was just trying to figure out where you draw the line between CPS worthy and MYOB.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Jul 14, 2015 12:21:22 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Jul 14, 2015 10:09:40 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

No not at all I never said that. When in doubt I would call and let the professionals deal with it. But the I saw a mom yell at her kid or this person spanks isn't getting a call from me.

I assume there would be some instances where you would call for spanking, no? I would assume spanking with an object vs a hand might be a unity horse here. What if the spank was across the face vs bottom? What if you witnessed a child being spanked 5+ times all while being screamed at over the course of just a few hours? I don't think anyone would call for an isolated spank or yelling because I'm sure we all yell on occasion. What if these things are how parents interact with the child? Is that a case where CPS should intervene or is it a MYOB kind of thing?

[rosesandpetals]

Jul 14, 2015 10:24:21 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Jul 14, 2015 10:09:40 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

But does that mean that a child who isn't in as severe a situation doesn't deserve to have someone speak up for them? I mean, are you just saying that the "I saw a mom yell at her kid in target so I called CPS" is eye roll worthy? I'm not sure where the line is between "eh not that bad" and "this kid needs help NOW."

This is kind of where I'm at. I've seen stuff where I think people may need a parenting class or some outside help but certainly don't warrant kids removed off the bat or anything. Think house filthy well beyond typical kid clutter/messiness, people who constantly scream at/spank kids for minor offenses publicly (which honestly frightens me because of the possibility of what's happening when others aren't around). I wish there was some sort of happy medium to those parents who may just need a lite help and education but are trying.

Cps isn't going to take the kids away because you call. You aren't proving anything, just saying what you saw or know and they do their own investigation. It is extremely difficult to have a child removed. The first goal of cps is to keep the family unit in tact and they know all the resources available. They give help when it is needed. And if a child does need to be removed, they go to a judge for that order, they don't just drive up and grab the kids.

I know for a fact that a student of mine was being abused/neglected and there was nothing cps could do. When stuff like that happens, there's no chance at all of someone just having their kid taken away. I think people worry about this too much, it is very difficult to have a child removed.

[quesyrah]

Jul 14, 2015 12:36:27 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

Jul 14, 2015 10:24:21 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

This is kind of where I'm at. I've seen stuff where I think people may need a parenting class or some outside help but certainly don't warrant kids removed off the bat or anything. Think house filthy well beyond typical kid clutter/messiness, people who constantly scream at/spank kids for minor offenses publicly (which honestly frightens me because of the possibility of what's happening when others aren't around). I wish there was some sort of happy medium to those parents who may just need a lite help and education but are trying.

Cps isn't going to take the kids away because you call. You aren't proving anything, just saying what you saw or know and they do their own investigation. It is extremely difficult to have a child removed. The first goal of cps is to keep the family unit in tact and they know all the resources available. They give help when it is needed. And if a child does need to be removed, they go to a judge for that order, they don't just drive up and grab the kids.

I know for a fact that a student of mine was being abused/neglected and there was nothing cps could do. When stuff like that happens, there's no chance at all of someone just having their kid taken away. I think people worry about this too much, it is very difficult to have a child removed.

Why couldn't they do anything?

[rosesandpetals]

Spanking on the face isn't spanking. If they do that in front of other people, I'm sure there are horrible things under the surface.

[rosesandpetals]

Jul 14, 2015 12:39:06 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jul 14, 2015 12:36:27 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

Cps isn't going to take the kids away because you call. You aren't proving anything, just saying what you saw or know and they do their own investigation. It is extremely difficult to have a child removed. The first goal of cps is to keep the family unit in tact and they know all the resources available. They give help when it is needed. And if a child does need to be removed, they go to a judge for that order, they don't just drive up and grab the kids.

I know for a fact that a student of mine was being abused/neglected and there was nothing cps could do. When stuff like that happens, there's no chance at all of someone just having their kid taken away. I think people worry about this too much, it is very difficult to have a child removed.

Why couldn't they do anything?

A lot of reasons that boiled down to it wasn't "bad enough". Though there details were awful and crossed the line, they're just overloaded with extreme cases.

[Deleted]

Yes, on our previous neighbors. (Cops were called too.) three separate occasions of significant violence that we actually saw: father hitting the mother so hard she had a broken nose, father yanking child off swing set then hitting him with a belt, 7yo beating the family dog with a belt.

[lyingliarlies]

Not cps but yes I've called the police. 2 times for kids unrestrained in the front seat of a vehicle (about 5 yo & about 1 yo.)
Another time for a domestic situation that seemed to be alcohol fueled (they just got home by taxi, very late) & was getting out of hand (throwing things & breaking windows in our apartment complex. ) I honestly thought one of them would pull out a gun & a bullet would go through a wall. The police did take one of them away.

[quesyrah]

Jul 14, 2015 12:46:13 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

Jul 14, 2015 12:39:06 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Why couldn't they do anything?

A lot of reasons that boiled down to it wasn't "bad enough". Though there details were awful and crossed the line, they're just overloaded with extreme cases.

That's so sad. So many kids fall through the cracks.

We had a kid local-ish that was beaten to death by his parents despite CPS being called multiple times. The abuse was so horrific that you wonder how the hell
this kid slipped through.

[cna]

Jul 14, 2015 13:24:18 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jul 14, 2015 12:46:13 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

A lot of reasons that boiled down to it wasn't "bad enough". Though there details were awful and crossed the line, they're just overloaded with extreme cases.

That's so sad. So many kids fall through the cracks.

We had a kid local-ish that was beaten to death by his parents despite CPS being called multiple times. The abuse was so horrific that you wonder how the hell
this kid slipped through.

Something similar happened here. Poor kid was kicked to death by either his mother or step father after CPS was called to his school and home multiple times and did nothing. The director of DCYF resigned over it.

[usm]

Jul 14, 2015 13:24:18 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jul 14, 2015 12:46:13 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

A lot of reasons that boiled down to it wasn't "bad enough". Though there details were awful and crossed the line, they're just overloaded with extreme cases.

That's so sad. So many kids fall through the cracks.

We had a kid local-ish that was beaten to death by his parents despite CPS being called multiple times. The abuse was so horrific that you wonder how the hell
this kid slipped through.

[I Imagine it's from lack of follow up after initial contact.

We just had a bad case locally. A nonverbal 15 yr old boy was severely neglected and malnourished. Police only found him because of a drug call(mom doing crack on the porch). People came forward after and said they had made multiple calls to CPS over the years including 6 months ago. CPS said they had previously met with the family but are obviously being tight lipped now.

CPS does do good. It is just underfunded and understaffed.

[andrewsgal]

Spanking is legal and done by the majority of parents I know. There is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child. Like I said if I am ever in doubt I will call.

I have seen kids who are being sexually abused and kids with cigarette burns still with their abusers so I know removing kids is hella hard. The population of kids I work with are not only more likely to be abused but also less likely to be removed.

[Deleted]

Jul 14, 2015 14:01:22 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Spanking is legal and done by the majority of parents I know. There is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child. Like I said if I am ever in doubt I will call.

I have seen kids who are being sexually abused and kids with cigarette burns still with their abusers so I know removing kids is hella hard. The population of kids I work with are not only more likely to be abused but also less likely to be removed.

Why are the kids you work with less likely to be removed?