My almost-20 month old definitely has tan lines. Especially on her feet from her sandals. Eh. It will be interesting to see how long she takes to fade.
My almost-20 month old definitely has tan lines. Especially on her feet from her sandals. Eh. It will be interesting to see how long she takes to fade.
My almost 3yo has flip flop tan lines and I think its freaking ADORABLE.
h - the deathbed thing bothered me a bit, too, because what about the people who had baby #2 or #3 because their family did not feel complete? Are they putting all those expectations on their kid? Were they expecting that kid to make everything better? No, they knew they wanted another kid and thought that if they didn't, they would regret it.
I can't play this game. My mother absolutely had me because she felt she deserved a re-do when my brother ended up closer to my grandparents due to the circumstances of my parents leaving their home country. It was a lot of pressure and sucked and I have disappointed her in a billion ways and our relationship is terrible. Furthermore, I feel like she was totally overwhelmed and out of her element while trying to raise more than one kid once my grandparents couldn't help her as much anymore. I absolutely think she should have quit while she was ahead, even if this means I might not exist. Emotional baggage, I have lots of it!
I will no longer try to be supportive to little moxie. That failed
However I think grown adults that whimper around in regret are wasting their life thinking about yesterday. Move forward. But that's just me. And if they are actually clinically depressed about children, then that is a chemical thing and may have happened due to some other issue and I hope they are getting counseling.
I just think feeling like your family is complete is like knowing your wedding dress is the one. It is possible to have different variations of your life all end up happy or okay.
Hugs, Anna. These decisions are so hard because there is no easy answer and the smallest change in circumstance can make all the difference. And of course the kids have no say in any of it.
Hanny - I know you "suck" with words, but try harder. Chatting on a message board has been your hobby for 5+ years. I try to take what you say with a grain of salt, but sometimes you are so far off base that it's hard to just give you the benefit of the doubt.
I will no longer try to be supportive to little moxie. That failed
However I think grown adults that whimper around in regret are wasting their life thinking about yesterday. Move forward. But that's just me. And if they are actually clinically depressed about children, then that is a chemical thing and may have happened due to some other issue and I hope they are getting counseling.
I just think feeling like your family is complete is like knowing your wedding dress is the one. It is possible to have different variations of your life all end up happy or okay.
I think that is a little harsh since it's not always "yesterday" we are talking about. I know I want two kids and we've been trying for MANY "yesterdays" as you call them. Am I not allowed to be frustrated and sad about it instead of just moving on? Obviously we'll deal if I can't get pregnant again but sometimes when the decision is made for us (whether infertility, lack of money, age, job, etc) it lingers for awhile.
I will no longer try to be supportive to little moxie. That failed
However I think grown adults that whimper around in regret are wasting their life thinking about yesterday. Move forward. But that's just me. And if they are actually clinically depressed about children, then that is a chemical thing and may have happened due to some other issue and I hope they are getting counseling.
I just think feeling like your family is complete is like knowing your wedding dress is the one. It is possible to have different variations of your life all end up happy or okay.
I think that is a little harsh since it's not always "yesterday" we are talking about. I know I want two kids and we've been trying for MANY "yesterdays" as you call them. Am I not allowed to be frustrated and sad about it instead of just moving on? Obviously we'll deal if I can't get pregnant again but sometimes when the decision is made for us (whether infertility, lack of money, age, job, etc) it lingers for awhile.
I don't think not being able to have a kid is a regret. Maybe I am not making sense but I think you regret a choice you make. You can't regret getting in a car accident, you know? I think you can definitely be sad to make a choice and then it doesn't work out. That's different. I apologize. And I'm sorry that thins aren't working out for you. My fingers are crossed for all the people on the board struggling to achieve what they want to achieve.