Do you care how late your DH stays out w/o you?

[vanillacourage]

Friday night some of DH's college friends stayed with us b/c they were in town for a wedding. He went out with them (with my blessing) and was out until 4am. Yesterday my friend could not believe I was ok with that - but really, once the kids go to bed there's no difference to me what time he comes home as long as he's safe doing so and isn't ridiculous (puking/whatever) when he gets home.

I also don't put up with him being worthless the next day - he can sleep in a couple hours after I get up with the kids, but after that he needs to snap out of it. If we didn't have kids I wouldn't care if he laid on the couch all day unless we had big plans.

[birdmom]

I don't care how long he stays out, and if I know in advance, I'm happy to pick them up if they've been drinking (we have a kid, hence the advance notice). I don't like cleaning up puke, and he knows not to expect any sympathy from me if he throws up or doesn't feel good. I have one baby to take care of, don't need two

[Deleted]

I don't care how late H stays out as long as he's not worthless after noon the next day. If he puked somewhere and didn't clean it up I would be a raging b^tch until he did though.

[crazycakes]

No. As long as I'm expecting a late night it doesn't bother me. I will even encourage him to crash at a friend's house if they've been drinking rather than driving home, and he does the same for me.

If he tells me he will be home at midnight and he doesn't get home until 4am, that is a different story.

We do not have kids.

[Deleted]

no.

But he goes out without me maybe 1-2x a year. I go out without him far more often. He is workaholic, homebody. I am the socialite.

But even after a night out, of course I am the one up with DD, since DH is probably at work. :/

[heygrey]

i don't care with the only caveat being - if you're late you better text.

[Deleted]

I don't care how late he stays out, as long as I know when he plans to come home and he updates me if those plans change.

puking is not okay.

[SJ]

Aug 20, 2012 9:56:12 GMT -5 swizzlestx said:

I don't care how late he stays out as long as I know around when he'll be home. If he says 1am, and I wake up at 3am and he's not there, I panic.

Me too. I sometimes panic if I wake up at like 3 or 4 and he is not in bed yet. So I will call/text him then go back to sleep. It doesn't anger me.

[heyrebekah]

I don't really care, but then again we don't have kids.

[ECB]

I don't care either. And as for the next day - I'll give him the morning to rest/recover, but I would hope that by the afternoon, he's up for SOMETHING - even if it's just going to the park w/ us. Nothing big - but functional!

[chessie]

No, just as long as I know where he is and if he is drinking he stays put. He sends updates all the time especially when he goes on nightly mountain bike ride..those I do get very worried if no reply then most likely he has fallen somewhere..

[Deleted]

NO I wish he had some people who were willing to entertain him until 4 am so I can chill and watch Buffy. As long as he calls.

[papie]

No, but I'm like you and my H is a huge baby when he is hung over. So he knows if he drinks and stays up too late, it is his problem, not mine, and I'm not going to take care of everything just because he feels like crap.

[expatpumpkin]

I don't care and it works both ways.

No kids but I don't think I'd care even then as long as he's not out late every night and he's not too hungover to help in the morning...

[Velvetshady]

Aug 20, 2012 10:10:49 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

Aug 20, 2012 9:56:12 GMT -5 swizzlestx said:

I don't care how late he stays out as long as I know around when he'll be home. If he says 1am, and I wake up at 3am and he's not there, I panic.

This is how I feel as well

This.

[315bride]

No, my H doesn't have a curfew or anything. Plus, him staying out late is relatively common since he works late.

[flygirl22]

I don't care how late he stays out as long as he is functional the next day. Unfortunately, usually when he stays out too late he is NOT functional the next day, so I don't really like it.

[shaynaatl]

I don't care how late he stays out but I tell him I don't want him so drunk that he has to throw up.

[mbcdefg]

We don't have kids.

I wouldn't care, as long as he stays in touch every few hours so I know he's safe.

I would be pissed if we had plans the next day and we/he couldn't attend because of his hangover/whatever, or if he puked or made a mess and I was stuck cleaning it up.

I don't mind being home alone. I'd only be pissed if I was scared for his safety or if he made me miss out on something I was looking forward to.

[carfar]

I'm cool as long as I know what's up and if he changes the time let's me know, or whatever so I don't worry.

[Wines Not Whines]

I don't care as long as he gives me an idea of how long he'll be out and/or sends me a text or something. He also has to be able to parent the next day (i.e. not stay in bed until 2 pm).

[anna7602]

I say I don't care, but in reality, DH is worth absolute crap the next day if he stays out that late. So, yes, actually, I do care if it's 4am. I don't want to get stuck on solo DD duty for a whole day as a result of his staying out too late.

[kadams767]

I don't care. I'm fine with wasting the next day every so often as well, it happens to all of us once in awhile. The only time I would be bothered was if we had plans the next day and he had to bail because of a hangover.

[Deleted]

Yes, but mainly because we have dogs, and when the front door opens they bark, so if he comes at 3 am he is going to wake me up, there's just no way around it, and now with the baby there's a 50/50 chance the baby will wake up too (sometimes the dogs bother him, sometimes not.) Before we had the barking dog (one is a barker and gets the other one riled up, when we just had the non-barker it wasnt really an issue) and the baby I wouldn't have cared as long as I had a general idea of what was going on. But he very rarely goes out without me.

I should admit though that our idea of "late" is more like midnight. LOL.

[blue1980]

I do care, but mainly because every time DH goes out without me he over does it and is completely worthless the next day. I refuse to take care of DD, the dogs, and errands around the house all on my own just because DH tried to party like he was 23 again and can't pull himself together the next day. If DH had better self control then I would have no issue with him staying out late.

[heyrebekah]

Aug 20, 2012 10:09:35 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

NO I wish he had some people who were willing to entertain him until 4 am so I can chill and watch Buffy. As long as he calls.

LOL, this too.

[aspentosh]

Pretty much exactly what OP said. As long as he is safe and lets me know if he'll be later, I'm ok with it.

Problem is, when he gets home late, he usually wants to sleep in late. Not ok now that we have a kid and he has adjusted accordingly

[orangeblossom]

No, just call/text if it's going to be really late or later than he originally said. I don't want to wake up worried in the middle of the night, because he's not in the house and it's because he's still out vs. hurt somewhere.

[cjeanette]

As long as it is not a common thing. I would even let him be worthless the next day. He has let me be worthless many times.

[ddi741]

No, I have no issue how long he stays out or where he goes. he also knows if he needs a ride, he can call, regardless of what time it is.