I fucking by my MIL

[badgergrl]

On Friday we got an email from my FIL that they wanted to swing by Saturday morning. We had plans that we rearranges to accommodate their visit. I worked a full day then came home and cleaned the house.
Saturday morning my kid and I made a coffee cake from scratch. Brewed a pot of coffee and waited for them.

They show up. My MIL refuses to get out of the car. She isn't willing to come into the house. My two young kids myself and my husband who has strep goes and stand in the rain to talk to her. She is invited in multiple times. She refuses to get out of the car. She then starts telling my kid how it's so sad she never sees her. My kid says cme in and eat the cake I made you. She refuses.

We have a long line of issues wth my inlaws. But sitting their watching Her spin her passive aggressive manipulative bullshit with my kid while refuses to come into my house Has infuriated me.

There is no point to this post. It's just a vent.

[Deleted]

She ain't right.

I'm sorry. That's so sad.

[mlt]

WTF why wouldn't she come in??? She sounds like a nutter.

[VillainV]

WTF? What kind of grandmother will sit there in the car when her grandkid says "Grandma, come in and eat the cake I made you!"

Is your H close with his parents?

[Cicero]

WTF?

[pugz]

noooooooo, never again. Cut her off

[Deleted]

What.a.doucher.

Sorry she's being assy to your kid. I may have shoved it in her bitch face

[Deleted]

I keep trying to think about WHY? She can't come in the house?? Maybe she pooped her pants on the way over? I mean that is the only logical explanation. From now on she's grandma poopy pants & it serves her right.

[Deleted]

It's called emotional manipulation and you shouldn't give in and try not to involve your kids. I would eat the cake inside with the kids in front of a window right where she can see.

[badgergrl]

FIL wouldn't come in either.

She's always been a raving bitch.

My inlaws are he ones that said we might have well have names our kid Adolf since we didn't name him after FIL

I think they have finally hit my breaking point. I keep trying but i don't think I want to anymore.

[ryry]

Wtf? They sound both evil and insane. I'm sorry

[achi]

Bitches be crazy.

[Deleted]

Time to cut them off for a while. It's not healthy for you or the kids. I am sorry.

[bananapancakes]

They sound ridiculous! I'm so sorry.

[mellymel]

This is when you cut that toxic bitch out of your life.

Him, too.

Sorry - they suck.

[holly116]

When my therapist explained to me that my mother's unhealthy manipulation wouldn't stop at me. That no matter how sweet and loving she seemed towards my kids now, that eventually she would attempt to manipulate them in the same way because that is who she is, that is the absolute strongest reason I had for cutting her off.

It is my mantra when I start to weaken and think about inviting her back in.

Hugs. All the hugs.

[kershnic]

What? That's truly bizarre. Did she give an excuse?

I don't think I would be inviting them over or changing any plans for them for a very very long time. You seriously don't need that in your life.

[aspentosh]

Cut them off.

For your mental health. Seriously.

[londoncalling]

Nope. I don't play that level of manipulation. I'm sorry.

[Jalapeñomel]

Aug 31, 2015 17:29:03 GMT -5 kershnic said:

What? That's truly bizarre. Did she give an excuse?

I don't think I would be inviting them over or changing any plans for them for a very very long time. You seriously don't need that in your life.

Yes! Why didn't she come in? What was her reasoning??

[pinotgrig]

That's so bizarre. And rude. And just flat out weird. Accommodate no more. Sorry you're dealing with these lovely people. What did your h say?

[hbomdiggity]

I think I would have sent the kids inside and had words. You don't like me? Fine. But when your grandchild asks you to come inside and you refuse despite no major physical limitation then you're done. Done.

[Deleted]

That had to break your heart when your baby said that:(. I'm sorry.

[ECB]

Aug 31, 2015 17:16:05 GMT -5 badgergrl said:

 I keep trying but i don't think I want to anymore.

Yes, stop.  You don't have to be rude but be "nice" to them in the way NORMAL people are nice.  Don't go stand in the rain talking to them.  They won't come in?  Say "O.k., well, nice seeing you" and just go back inside.  If you want to really be nice, wrap up a piece of cake and give it to them to take with them. 

But stop rearranging plans for them.  This is WHO they are.  They aren't going to change.  You can only change your reactions to them. 

[dcn]

What?? Fuck that shit. Who comes over but refuses to come inside? I'd be done.

[Alyssa]

So did they not want to come in due to the strep?

[oswin]

I'm so sorry your MIL is so ridiculous and manipulative. I think your only choices are to cut her off or attempt to completely disregard any craziness - as in just go inside and if she doesn't come in, tough (and tell your kids that their grandmother isn't right in the head or something). Having kids complicates it a bit, I suppose. I mean, my MIL can be childish and selfish, and I try to deal with it by not giving in to the crazy and treating her like a toddler throwing a tantrum, (I can see that you're having a fit, come inside when you're calm, etc). It's a bit harder when your kid is right there wanting to see grandma and is willing to stand in the rain - if you make your kids come inside and grandma won't then you're in danger of seeming like the bad guy.

[pippa]

There's some great advice in here. She actually sounds mentally ill to go to that level. I think for you and your family, it's time to distance yourselves.

I recently had to do that with my parents. It's hard but ultimately what is best.

[Muddled]

Why did they come over?

Why did you stand out in the rain to talk to her? Let her sit there alone.

[badgergrl]

Aug 31, 2015 18:09:10 GMT -5 Alyssa said:

So did they not want to come in due to the strep?

No they didn't even know that. He's on antibiotics and not contagious.

SHe told my BIL that we have hurt her too bad as we stopped seeing her as much after the whole naming thing. She said she wants to see the kids on her terms which means at her house without us

We tried the over night thing once when my older was 3.5. We left them our car, were 20 mins away and called 5 times. We showed them how to use everything.

When we got back mil said casually ". Oh by the way we couldn't figure out the car seat so we just drove her around unsecured. No biggie. ". That was the last time she was allowed to babysit