@ Is Your Kid Going To Bed Too Late?

[summer]

blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/what-time-should-your-09012015child-go-to-bed-find-out/

My kids are officially back to school next week, which means it’s time for me to rein in the absolute chaos that passes for summer bedtime routines around here.



Even on a good day, in the dark of winter and the depths of the school year, I seriously struggle with bedtime. During the summer, though, when the light lingers on past 10:00pm and the cool evening breeze beckons from the front yard, forget about it. All bets are off. Who can sleep when there are bubbles to blow and sidewalk chalk masterpieces to create?



Part of the challenge during the long school months is that my husband and I both work. When we get home at 6:00p.m. each night we dive head-first into the nightly routine of dinner and baths and homework and whatever after-school activities we’ve got lined up. There are PAC meetings to attend, soccer practices to coach, piano lessons to endure.



And, as it turns out, we actually want to spend some time with our children! I absolutely hate those night when it feels like I get home, stuff a meal – or two bites, depending on how they feel about the menu – into their little mouths, rush them off to practice, hose them down afterward and then send them to bed. I want to ride bikes up and down the alley, take an evening walk down to the corner store, maybe even play a game of My Little Ponies. Dream big, right?



The other problem – this one has a long, tantrum-filled back story – is that my 5-year-old goes to bed at the same time as her 9-year-old sister, which in the fall and winter months is at around 9:30 by the time all is said and done. That’s a pretty big problem, actually. Because while I’ve always kind of wondered if my oldest is getting enough sleep, I’ve been just about certain that my youngest is not.



All of this begs the question, one that millions of parents have asked themselves at one point or another: How much sleep should my kids be getting?



Well, the answer is finally here thanks to Wilson Elementary School in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Earlier this week the school shared a chart on Facebook to remind parents what time they should be sending their kids to bed, based on their age and their usual wake-up time.



Here is a replica of the very helpful information…



As if we needed yet more proof that parents are hell-bent on figuring out the eternal kid/sleep riddle, the post has already been shared almost 300,000 times.



So, based on this my 9-year-old should be going to bed at 8:45, which means we’re 45 minutes behind schedule. Not too terrible, I suppose. My 5-year-old, on the other hand, should be tucked in at around 8. Yikes.



This is definitely good to know, but some of the thousands of comments on Wilson Elementary School’s post go to show that when it comes to parenting the “ideal” can’t always be a reality.



“Wow. Hard to get to bed at 8 when practice lets out at 8 & 8:30,” wrote one mom. “What about for families that work until 6? Where does that leave bonding, dinner, bath?” asked a dad. “Our wake up time isnt even listed. Guess that means go to bed when you get home from school…” notes an early riser.



I’m going to be honest: an 8 o’clock bedtime isn’t too likely. But with the first day of school just around the corner, I’m definitely going to try to get this bedtime routine under control. As someone who verges on mental breakdown when exhausted, I know that sleep – and lack thereof – isn’t something to take too lightly.



Do your kids go to bed at the right time?

[eponinepontmercy]

This is just not realistic for our family. We've moved her bedtime up to 7:45 so she's asleep by 8:00, but that's because she's getting up at 6:15/6:30. If she goes to bed at 7:00, that would give us barely an hour to eat dinner, unwind, and for her to get a shower. That's just not going to cut it.

Plus, if the little jerk needed more sleep, she'd sleep past 6:30 on weekends.

[skwcm80]

I saw this on my FB timeline this morning, apparently we're doing bedtime all wrong. DD is usually in bed by 8:30 and DS by 8:00, they both are up by 6:15 so we can make it out of the house on time. On a good day we get home around 5:45, that barely leaves enough time for anything if they went to bed at 7:30.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Nope

According to the chart, she should be going to bed at 7:30p. That's not gonna happen. I consider it a win if she's in bed by 8:45p.

[downtoearth]

This is going all around my facebook - every school seems to be posting.

I mean, really, we need a chart for this now?

[stephogirl]

DS2 is 5 and is currently going to bed at 8:30, which means we start brushing teeth and reading books at 8:30. We're working on bumping that back to 8:00. He goes to sleep pretty reliably about 5-10 minutes after we're done reading, so shifting the time is actually working pretty well.

DS1 is 9 and is much more of a night owl than DS 2. Bedtime right now is 9:00 and he usually reads books or listens to podcasts in bed for at least an hour before he falls asleep. We'll bump him back to 8:45 or so, in the spirit of school starting, but it won't make a difference in the time he actually falls asleep.

The chart is a little unrealistic for many kids, but I think it's a good reminder how much more sleep kids need than adults. Something to strive for, I guess.

[CloudBee]

My kid is 2.5

He goes to bed between 8 - 8:15pm, wakes between 6:40-7:30am, and takes a 2-3 hr afternoon nap. (Weekends tend to be later, and weekdays he hears us up getting ready for work so he usually wakes earlier.)

It's perfect, and I hope he keeps it up for another year. We have a couple peaceful hours to get stuff done on weekends while he naps, and have a good amount of both family time and couple time in the evenings.

[2curlydogs]

I posted a rant about this earlier this week.

[Deleted]

My 2 year old goes to bed between 7 and 7:30.

The 4 year old, on the other hand, actually falls asleep at 9:30 or 10 lately. He's napping at daycare, and I hate it. Ideally, he falls asleep by 8:30 and is up at 7. There is zero chance of him sleeping 7:30 - 7 ever. Unless we're talking "sleep all day" of a teenager.

[msmerymac]

I guess my question is WTF kind of practice for young grade schoolers goes until 8:30? I think the hyper-scheduling of younger kids needs to be addressed, because yeah, sleep is what loses out. I'm all for music lessons and sports for young kids (like 1 of each, not something every day), but surely that can be done before 8pm or on a weekend.

[wannabe]

This is interesting, because the bean is almost 8 and has been going to bed at 8 since she started school. This year, she seems to be waking up at 6:15-6:30, so I pushed bedtime back to 8:15.

Clearly, that extra 15 minutes is a big deal, according to this chart. Heh.

[Michelle]

I saw this and felt defeated. There is no way I can do that. We get home at 7. DD would have to skip dinner to be in bed by 7:30 which based on the time she is getting up is recommended.

[cap]

My almost-7-year old gets close to the right amount; he's about 15 minutes short. However, he's been on this same schedule (8 pm bedtime, 6:30-6:45 wake time) since he was about 3 or 4. Given that he dropped naps when he was just over 2, and has never ever slept in on weekends, I think he's doing fine.

Andplusalso, this table has discrepancies. For example, a 7 year old with a 6:30 am wake up should be in bed by 7:30 pm (11 hours of sleep), but if the wake up time is 6:45 am, the bedtime is 8:00 pm (10 hrs 45 min of sleep). Basically, the wake-up times increase by 15 minutes as you move from left to right across the table, but the bed times don't always. Yes, I know that's a minor detail and 15 minutes +/- isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it still bugs me.

[anonymous]

8:00 PM on a daily basis is too late for my DD (5.5). She does much better closer to 7:15/7:30. It's a rush at night but 3 days in a row with an 8 o'clock bedtime and it's mess city in my house.

[taratru]

Finally!!! Something I'm doing right! I LOVE THIS CHART! 

[7costanza]

One more thing to feel guilty about...

[hopecounts]

DD is in bed 'on time' according to this chart.
We start bedtime routine at 6:45/6:50 lights out at 7.
I am a bedtime nazi though and as a SAHM so it's doable for us.
She comes in gets a snack/break, then it's bathtime, I start dinner, DH gets home and we eat, 20-30 minutes of family time and then we start bedtime routine.
DH has argued with me but every time we try a later bedtime she gets negative school reports, she just can't handle it. So we go back to the same bedtime that actually works.

We will bump it back next year when she is attending a local school and doesn't have to get up so early but for now in order for her to be up and out the door on time she has to get to bed at 7.

[zoegirltx]

My 1 YO loves sleep...she's usually in her crib at 7 & sometimes falls right asleep & sometimes will play/fidget for up to 45 min. But she also isn't napping all day & will take one when she gets home so 3/4 to 5 or 530. She usually starts stirring around 630 or 7, but is happy to wake up slowly & lay in her crib till be go get her.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 3, 2015 14:31:48 GMT -5 taratru said:

Finally!!! Something I'm doing right! I LOVE THIS CHART! 

Me too!!  Of course it helps that we're a three minute walk to school, so we don't need to get up early.

[ttt]

I don't even have to look at the chart to know that I'm almost certainly doing this wrong too.

[karinothing]

Sept 3, 2015 14:00:04 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

Nope

According to the chart, she should be going to bed at 7:30p. That's not gonna happen. I consider it a win if she's in bed by 8:45p.

Yeah, this chart is odd. So DS is almost 4 so not quite on the chart but he goes to be around 830 and wakes up on his own at 7. I assume that is enough sleep or he would sleep more. I guess he naps so that probably impacts it

[roxysoxy]

I'm kind of glad this chart is going around. Other parents are often very surprised and even give me a hard time when I tell them how early my kids go to bed. Even with how early they go to bed, according to this chart, both of my kids (6 and 8) go to bed a half hour later than they should.

[CallingAllAngels]

My kids are within 30-60 minutes of their recommended bedtimes, but I feel like they go to bed much earlier than a lot of other kids we know.

[meshaliuknits]

Sept 3, 2015 13:53:04 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

Plus, if the little jerk needed more sleep, she'd sleep past 6:30 on weekends.

Right?

I very rarely have to wake the kids to get out of the house on time. They're in bed at 8-815pm and up by 630am with no assistance on my part. Usually earlier.

[Deleted]

I am just always in awe of parents who let their kids stay up late. By 7 pm I am done. I want my alone time. We put them down at 7, but they share rooms, so they are usually awake talking and playing for an hour or so.

[FloFTW]

Yeah, no. My child doesn't need 11 hours of sleep because no matter what he has never ever in his life slept for 11 hours. So, fuck off, chart.

[meshaliuknits]

Sept 3, 2015 15:25:52 GMT -5 @tooshort said:

Sept 3, 2015 14:30:00 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

I don't really care what time you have to get up, all children should be in bed at 7 p.m.

My people! Lol. My kids are early risers. Interestingly enough, every time I try to let them stay up late they get up extra early and if I put them to bed early they get up later. 7:30 is bedtime around here and I love it!

We moved their bedtimes back because earlier to bed just meant they were getting up earlier which was the bullest of shits.

[Dumbledork]

I want activity managers to see this chart. Lilly, 6yo, has her heart set on taking karate this year. Bedtime is 7:30 because she gets up around 630-645.

There is only one place that has class at a time that fits our needs and it's the furthest away.

Most places don't have class start til 6pm. They wouldn't end till 7 and then she'd have to get home, calm down, get ready for bed and then be in bed in the span of about 30 minutes.

[isabel]

Sept 3, 2015 13:54:03 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Who is going to bed at 6:45? We're not even done eating supper at that time??

My 5 month old does.

[ajj]

Sept 3, 2015 15:33:27 GMT -5 FloFTW said:

Yeah, no. My child doesn't need 11 hours of sleep because no matter what he has never ever in his life slept for 11 hours. So, fuck off, chart.

So much this! I hate these kinds of things that make you feel like you are doing parenting wrong. My kid has never been a sleeper. He doesn't get tired, or cranky, or less focused because of it. He is an individual and his needs are different. I wish he was not like this. I would love a break beginning at 7 or 8 at night, but he just doesn't need it. I was the same way.