OP, I think you would have gotten a much different reaction from people if your title was "This is weird." or something and your focus was "I understand why she wasn't invited. I just don't know why my friend is being so weird and secretive about it." But you didn't go that direction at all. You were upset that your daughter was "excluded" and didn't understand why another little girl was invited but not your kid.
I think pretty much everything has been covered at this point, but as your girls age, they will probably go in and out of these stages where they are in similar life places and hang out more/invite each other places. My cousin's best friend is from her neighborhood, and now they are 23 and 26 and have remained best friends over the years. I think it was easier as they got older, vs. when they were in that stage of 5-10ish. I'm ten years older than my cousin and we grew up basically as sisters, with me as her babysitter very frequently so I saw a lot of their relationship first hand.
I'd probably just let it go and chalk it up to your friend feeling awkward about it and not knowing how to handle it, not that it was malicious, because it will probably happen at times if you stay close/neighbors.
B had a sleepover party. I saw it on Facebook and didn't even blink. Assumed it was a party for the kids in her class. No big deal guys.
It wasn't until I saw another post in which another girl (mutual friend who's 6) was invited that it felt weird.
Realized that the pics might have intentionally left out the mutual friend on purpose to avoid me seeing it.
She tells me everything and didn't tell me about this because??? I have no idea.
My feelings are hurt about DD being excluded but the more I've thought about it and talked about it here it's more about the secrecy.
So yes it's both. The exclusion of DD and the weird secrecy from someone I consider a good friend.
autumn, what do you want me to say??
I think your feelings are all normal I always say that one thing "they" don't prepare us for when expecting our LO, is the feeling of them being disappointed. It kills when they hurt and I know for my DS, bday parties are HUGE. He counts down the days. I think my guy would be seriously bummed if one of his buddies had a party and he wasn't included and that would kill me. Yea, the secrecy is weird. I wouldn't take it personally, though. I just don't think she knew how to handle it.
I should probably add more to the story too of why I'm so surprised she kept quiet.
Her son's 10th birthday was last month. They had one of those game trucks over to their house. While on our walk she mentioned the party and was very very apologetic that she couldn't include the kids. I totally laughed at her and told her that she did not need to worry about including my little kids to his big boy party.
She knows I'm easy breezy about this stuff and has made me aware of past parties.
This one? Dead silent. I just thought that was strange for her. She's always been super open with me. I could have and would have totally handled it.
I'm thinking way too much about her lack of discussion obviously but our conversations have never been awkward. Including the time that her and our mutual friends kid "s" had a Disneyland date together.
So wait, she DID do what you wanted for the party last month and it was all fine?
I'm guessing she probably (logically) assumed you would understand this is that same thing and wouldn't be upset since you weren't the last time it happened.
Do you really expect her to go to the effort of doing this spiel with you every single time?
but in light of this new info I can see why its weird she omitted telling OP about the party. I mean I talk to my co workers at breaktime about a party I am planning. to not discuss it with a close friend is weird ESPECIALY if she is comfortable enough talking about with OP about her son. IDK Again, OP isn't owed anything, shouldn't overreact etc. but I can see shaking my head at my friend if I were in her shoes
Not reading this, but from a quick skim of the main posters, I'm left wondering whether this is one of those bubbles from a sunroof type threads. You know the type.
Post by MixedBerryJam on Oct 5, 2015 16:54:49 GMT -5
Hmmm. I had a reply all typed out then it disappeared. Regarding the photos and the sneakiness being attributed to the host mom for not having any photos of the 6yo and the 6yo mom posting a bunch, I'd bet good money that the 6yo's invitation was under duress. Maybe the birthday girl told the 6yo about it beforehand and the parents felt obligated to invite her. Maybe the 6yo and her mom bumped into them in the party goods store. Maybe the host called the 6yo mom to explain why they weren't inviting everyone and the mom guilted the hosts into inviting her, and they said to themselves, "OMG that was a mistake. Let's not say anything to anyone else." I dunno. But the fact that the hosts posted a ton of pictures that didn't include the 6yo and the 6yo's mom posted (mostly only) pics that did, that doesn't sound secretive or conniving to me. That sounds like the hosts were trying to avoid hurt feelings. So does the dad sushing the birthday girl when she mentioned it after the fact to your daughter.