If I didn't have kids, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's actually my dream to do that when I'm older and the kids are out of the house.
If kids are in the picture or in your future picture, my answer would be no. If you didn't like growing up there, what would be different for your kid?
With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that it was better to grow up board than a drug addict, which is the case for most of the people I know who grew up where we live.
Honestly, that can be any town in Anywhere, USA. My concern for my kids would be their exposure to the outside world.
With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that it was better to grow up board than a drug addict, which is the case for most of the people I know who grew up where we live.
Honestly, that can be any town in Anywhere, USA. My concern for my kids would be their exposure to the outside world.
Maybe, but the problem is particularly prevalent in this area. There are plenty of drugs where I grew up, too, but the kids don't have enough money to get into anything harder than weed.
If I didn't have kids, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's actually my dream to do that when I'm older and the kids are out of the house.
If kids are in the picture or in your future picture, my answer would be no. If you didn't like growing up there, what would be different for your kid?
See, my thoughts are the opposite. I live north of SF in the town where my parents moved when I was a kid. I couldn't believe they took me out of exciting and vibrant London to stick me in American suburbia. OMG it was sooooo boring. I made a best friend in SF and spent every minute I could there. I was going to live in cities forever. No more suburbs for me.
Still, I'm back and really happy to be raising kids here. Not because I don't love city living. I could enjoy raising kids in Manhattan if we had more cash. I don't look around and see the absence of a subway, museums and restaurants. I see Mt. Tam, the bay, Stinson, and redwoods. I love taking my kids to explore a field and look for birds. Alone bird watching is the most boring activity I can think of. (I also like that we can get to SF in twenty minutes, so it isn't exactly the same but I understand appreciating things as an adult you don't see as a kid).
Elle has the means to travel with kids and expose them to more than just their neighborhood.
If I didn't have kids, I'd do it in a heartbeat. It's actually my dream to do that when I'm older and the kids are out of the house.
If kids are in the picture or in your future picture, my answer would be no. If you didn't like growing up there, what would be different for your kid?
See, my thoughts are the opposite. I live north of SF in the town where my parents moved when I was a kid. I couldn't believe they took me out of exciting and vibrant London to stick me in American suburbia. OMG it was sooooo boring. I made a best friend in SF and spent every minute I could there. I was going to live in cities forever. No more suburbs for me.
Still, I'm back and really happy to be raising kids here. Not because I don't love city living. I could enjoy raising kids in Manhattan if we had more cash. I don't look around and see the absence of a subway, museums and restaurants. I see Mt. Tam, the bay, Stinson, and redwoods. I love taking my kids to explore a field and look for birds. Alone birding is the most boring activity I can think of. (I also like that we can get to SF in twenty minutes, so it isn't exactly the same but I understand appreciating things as an adult you don't see as a kid).
Elle has the means to travel with kids and expose them to more than just their neighborhood.Â
I get it. I live an hour east of SF and, had you told me I'd be living here when I was growing up, I would have called you crazy. But I love it. It's a great family community, but also offers diversity.
But, it's all about how you raise your kids. So, I think, live where you want and raise your kids knowing there's a world outside your small town.
Post by themoneytree on Oct 29, 2015 23:08:11 GMT -5
I grew up in the country but lived in major cities from when I was in college until 3 years ago. We moved to the country when I got pregnant and have not regretted it. However we have many small villages and towns around us with excellent restaurants which we can be at in 10 minutes or less. The closest big box stores are 25-30 minutes away, the closest mall 30-35 minutes. We do have one of the biggest malls on the east coast an hour away, and NY and Philly are accessible in around an hour.
Having a kid did make a huge difference. This is the land of the stay at home parent and there is a TON to do with kids in the area. More than we can fit in to already bursting schedules. It's also stunningly beautiful here. I feel lucky every day when I go out. Some days I go out and drive around just to take in the beauty of our surroundings.
However, without a kid I probably wouldn't want to live here. I would still come and visit, stay at a b&b and enjoy the odd weekend away as we used to, but I would almost certainly live in a city if we didn't have a kid. I feel like I would be bored eventually.
I left a small town for medium city and don't think I could go back to my hometown at this point. Not because of the lack of amenities, but because of the relationships factor. I didn't really feel like I fit in back then, I'm sure 15 years later everyone who stayed (which is most people) has had time to get more cliquey and set in their ways and groups. I think I'd have a hard time navigating those dynamics and finding a place. And FB shows me that many have 2-3 kids already and have political viewpoints I don't share. Just not a lot in common.
Post by walterismydog on Oct 29, 2015 23:49:59 GMT -5
I moved to the country from a largish city (Austin) and I got sooooo bored after awhile. It took forever to go anywhere, and I wanted to escape all the time. There was a state park nearby, but you can only hike the exact same trails so many times before you get sick of it. The closest shopping/entertainment was about 30 minutes away, and that was just chain stuff. To get to the city (Houston) it sometimes took up to two hours in traffic. That got old real quick (I was commuting there). Mostly, though, I was just bored at night. Somehow NOT having the option to go out makes you want to go out a lot more. All of this, and I was working every day in the city!
There's also just SO MUCH reSponsibility. Keeping up with the land type of stuff/chores. I thought this was going to be a blast, but it wasn't. Of course, my situation was much different than yours (I was dirt poor then). It was like things were constantly needing to be tended to, and sure you can probably hire people for that, but it is just something to consider.
This was a town of 100.
My favorite place to live was a town of about 2500 that was 15 minutes from two towns of 30,000 and smack dab in the middle of San Antonio and Austin. Tons to do in my town and plenty of fun places within an hour.
I grew up in the country, and I love it. I love to be outdoors and really never struggle to entertain myself when I am able to be outside.
Working is important to me, though. I need a challenge. I would move to the country as you describe if I were still working. Working from home would be fine.
No department stores, no Apple Store, no clothing stores. The only gym is owned by the local church. There are grocery stores (but not Whole Foods or TJ's, just a country market and mini mart), gas stations, etc. there's a target 30 minutes away and a mall with a Nordstrom's 45 minutes away. Anything nicer is in San Francisco.
Not true! Roseville has some higher end stores now. LV, Burberry and even a Tiffanys!
I moved from Denver to a city of about 50k. It's not terrible, but I'm not a fan. Mainly it's really boring. Sometimes I want to get out of the house and do something, but there's no where to go and nothing to do.
I'm not much of a shopper, but the lack of options is still bothersome. I cook a lot and it's very frustrating to have ingredients I want unavailable. Worse is the selection is inconsistent. Sometimes they stock an ingredient sometimes they don't, which is irritating.
I went fabric shopping on my last vacation because the closest, decent fabric store is about two hours away. It feels wrong to me to have to use my vacation to do something so mundane as fabric shopping.
I think what PPs said about driving a lot is true. The major city centers are all about 2 hours away from us. We never go because I'm not used to driving that far to do stuff on a regular basis. It seems like others who live here go frequently and don't consider it to be a big deal to drive 4 hours round trip to run some errands or for entertainment.
I moved from NYC to rural Ireland, but we are not as far away from stuff as you would be. We are close to DH's family. There is not great shopping 10 minutes from me, but I am a 45 minute drive from Belfast, which has better options. Dublin Airport is an hour away and the Belfast airports are slightly longer trip, but they get me to London in under 2 hours door to door.
I love it. I was working full time and now I SAH with the boys, who are both in primary school. However, I think if I was further away from shopping, the gym and airports, I would feel differently. We have the perfect mix of country and access to cities.
H grew up in the city and I'm from a large suburb right outside the city. We now live in what is considered to be a rural area. We both love it for the most part but I would say my biggest complaint is that sometimes I wish I could go to the store or out to eat and not see anyone I know lol. Sometimes I miss the anonymity that a more populated area can provide.
Would you consider to become a breeder yourself? You guys are so passionate about the breed and it seems like an ideal location.
To actually answer your question, no, I have not, but I could see doing it if we fell in love with the house or town.
No, I don't think we would because I couldn't handle having to give up the puppies. I mean, we would breed our own girls for our own family, but not for profit or anything.
I'm still holding onto hope of getting a puppy when/if you breed. (and hi - I haven't been here in ages, I honestly don't know if anyone even remembers me)
And that property sounds amazing, but there would be a huge pro/con list for me to write.
I cannot think that you will like this as your permanent semi-retired life. People I know who do this successfully (I know a couple) felt CALLED to that type of change. Sounds to me like you are looking to get away from it all and that's a different sort of motivation.
Post by partiallysunny on Oct 30, 2015 8:05:49 GMT -5
I did. It was okay but I traveled a lot to visit family and friends. After I had Kid, I hated it. It was harder to travel and there wasnt much to take him to. Especially in winter.
Now I'm in the outskirts of a major city and love it.
I think you would enjoy it for the first 6 months or so but would ultimately get bored living that far out from things. I think I remember you saying a move to Carmel would allow you to fly to WFH and easily fly to LA for meetings. Does that still sound like an appealing option?
That sounds like a dream come true to me. But, that's because I hate the city, can live without stores nearby, love the privacy of living in the country, and have no problem cooking, etc.
We are actually moving to the country as soon as we we can sell our house and find something that will suit our needs. I do not want my kids growing up here. I grew up in the country, then moved to the city when I was 16. I way preferred the country. Still do.
I guess it would depend on how much you are willing to change about your current life in order to give Nika the opportunity to have puppies? I'm getting that that is the real reason for the push for right now?
Since real estate doesn't come around often in the place you are talking about, can you buy this place and sell your other cabin?
I can't relate to thinking of leaving the city to a remote area because I am fighting a move to the "suburbs" of Boston. By suburb, I mean a neighborhood that has single family homes that is still basically the city. Nothing would make me move to a place you describe. Not my own pool, tennis court, gym, etc. I need people, I need bookstores, I need cafes, I need to not be in my car for every little thing.
My aunt and uncle did actually. They moved from San Francisco to Wyoming. They do still have a condo in San Francisco. My grandparents and my uncle's parents lived in the area and they went back and for a lot in the beginning. My uncle's parents have passed as has my grandfather but they still go to the city a lot. They don't have a car there but if they don't drive they either borrow my grandmother's or rent one. Since she is a nurse, she has gone and helped my other aunt with medical issues like when my grandma had heart surgery last year. They also spend several weeks there in the summer and fall.
They have been super happy with their move. They have a gorgeous house built into the side of a mountain, a maxofacial surgery practice that does well since when they first moved there, they were the only practice in 500 miles. There are more now. Things are different, people have bartered for dental needs, ie they had a carpenter that need dental work and they were renovating their house. They love it. They are really outdoorsy, DINKS with a dog.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown
Having lived in the city for all of my adult life, the idea of the country does appeal to me. The country area we are considering, though, is about 45 mins outside of the city. 3 hours away from a city would be too much for me, and 1.5 hours from the airport would probably be a deal breaker.
Its 45 minutes from a city (Sacramento). 3 hours from a "big" city (SF).
I am mostly a lurker on this board, but used to live in Tahoe. We would fly out of Sacramento occasionally, there is an airport there that you could certainly fly out of--so it is really only 45 minutes to an airport.
I have also always lived in the country, so I cannot compare it to a big city, but I love it. I love living 30 minutes from Target and other stores--but that is my limit. If it is more than 30 minutes it feels too rural. I also like to be within 20 minutes of a hospital and general entertainment. I understand when you live in a city or suburbs that you are used to having a lot at your fingertips, but when you live in the country you just are used to driving 30 minutes to town to get things, to go to work, to do anything. Your friends all live between 15-35 minutes away.
The beauty of where you would be is that 45 minutes away is Sacramento. Not a great city, but plenty of nice enough shopping (when we lived in Tahoe we would go down to the Sacramento area to shop--there is a Nordstroms, Anthro, Whole Foods, etc.
Post by EmilieMadison on Oct 30, 2015 9:25:17 GMT -5
I am doing that right now. I lived DT in a midsized city and am closing on a small farm in 3 weeks. It's a beautiful old homestead and even has a 100 year old red barn! The plan is to get chickens and goats in the spring, then horses down the road. It's what I've always dreamed of and I'm very excited! But, it's not in the middle of nowhere; it's not isolated. I can still get to super target in 15 minutes, even though it's private and on a dirt road. Dream come true for me
WIll you get lonely? That would be my main worry. You could get a pied a terre in SF for your shopping/culture fixes but day in day out life without peers around, no kids, cousins are at work or with their own kids. Your work time would be solo. Then your breaks would be solo. You seem pretty social from everything we've seen here. I'm worried you'd feel isolated.
Well, I grew up there, so probably not. 80% of the people I grew up with are still there. Of course, some are grandmothers now, so I don't know how much we still have in common. This is a good point.
Ditto a lot of other people's concerns (especially about not working, that will be a HUGE change), but this is also a concern. I'm from a small town in NY (we have a Target, etc., but there's only 25,000 people there) - there are many, many people that I grew up with that still live there (no grandmothers that I know of, and I'm 40!) It was nice to see them at the reunion. However, I cannot imagine moving back there, even with the home set up you described, while not working and seeking these people out as my friends and social life, especially without kids. I don't mean that harsh (I don't have kids), but the people who still live there all see each other at school events, etc. So it may be difficult to roll back into friendships and relationships when you have not been around for 20 years. (And I am not sure if your financial status would also create problems.)
I moved from the city (downtown) to the country when I got married. And scurried right back to downtown after my divorce. When I moved here, I moved to the 'burbs for DD's education, but we're still in the middle of town.
This reminds me of the Diane Keaton movie Baby Boom, wherein she unexpectedly becomes guardian to a baby girl and moves from NYC to a small town in Vermont and ends up making apple sauce on a commercial scale.
I don't remember how the movie ended, but in my head she returns to NYC all triumphant and lives there happily ever after.
I am doing that right now. I lived DT in a midsized city and am closing on a small farm in 3 weeks. It's a beautiful old homestead and even has a 100 year old red barn! The plan is to get chickens and goats in the spring, then horses down the road. It's what I've always dreamed of and I'm very excited! But, it's not in the middle of nowhere; it's not isolated. I can still get to super target in 15 minutes, even though it's private and on a dirt road. Dream come true for me
This is what we want more now. More isolated living space but still in civilization.
I don't want to drive more than 20 minutes to the grocery. That's my litmus test lol.