We were sure we were 2 and done when we conceived DD. We knew we only had the inclination, time, and resources to care for two children. Neither of us wanted any more. So I had my tubes tied during my c/s. We're both very pleased with that decision.
Basically the day I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. We had a difficult time getting and staying pregnant so when I got pregnant with DD we decided that however that pregnancy turned out, we were done and DH was having a vasectomy. We couldn't handle the roller coaster anymore.
I sill long for more babies and I probably will for quite some time. But we made the right decision for us. Two is enough of a handful lol!
Shortly, like within days, after DD2 was born I new I wanted one more. DS2 was born 22 months later and DH had a vasectomy two weeks after I gave birth.
Post by SpartanGirl on Nov 5, 2015 23:06:14 GMT -5
We always talked about 4. After our youngest was born, DH was DONE, but it took me longer to get there. It was a gradual thing. With each passing day I felt a little more at peace with being done. Now that DD3 is almost 5, I'm finally at the point where the thought of one more makes me shudder. DH is getting his vasectomy next month.
Post by whitepicketfence on Nov 5, 2015 23:17:37 GMT -5
For awhile after DD3 was born (probably for most of her first year), we still really thought we wanted more kids. Then life with my older two became crazy busy; we're juggling having DD1 in K full-time, DD2 in Pre-K half-days, my PT work schedule, DH's work schedule, DH's school schedule, and dance two nights a week for my oldest. In between that, I'm on several committees at the girls' school which involve a time commitment and I still have to manage everything at home, including caring for an aging, diabetic dog, as DH doesn't get home until 9:30 some nights. Life is crazy and we're completely burnt out. The reality of this hit us hard once DD3 became mobile and this current school year started.
The thought of one more living creature in our home to care for nearly pushes me over the edge. When my new SIL announced last month that she was pregnant, the first thought that popped into my head was, "Thank God it's not me!". I think that was a concrete sign that I'm done, done, done.
I'm not 100% but close...at least done birthing. May still adopt. But I always wanted 4 & I got my 4. I hated pregnancy, had high risk pregnancies every time, dealt with colic twice & 4 shitty sleepers. I'm not a quitter though , I got my 4. I'm content & have been since I had her .
We always said we wanted two. Now we have two kids and our family feels complete. I just got another mirena but DH will be getting a vasectomy. He is seeing a new primary care doctor in December and will ask for a referral then.
I knew while I was pregnant with #3. While we were trying for #3 even. That's my limit. I would love another snugly infant but they grow up and I would not be a good mom to 4 kids.
I've had some pangs recently, since my "baby" is now 2, but they pass .
We had decided before #2 was born because she was a surprise only 6 months after her sister was born. Now at 4 months post partum I am having a hard time making that decision. I feel like I have one more pregnancy in me and maybe a 3rd?
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Nov 6, 2015 0:28:28 GMT -5
DD was 9 months old when I decided that she would be it. i was terrified of 2 kids w a less that helpful, less than supportive h. I was exhausted working FT w a long commute then taking care of the house FT and DD FT even at home. 2 kids would have pushed me/us over the edge financially, mentally and emotionally.
When I was younger I wanted a very big family. By the time I got married I knew I wanted 2 or 3 max. I have a stepchild and a child I gave birth to. We'd been on the fence about having one more due to timing, finances, careers and lifestyle. We were really happy with the family we have. Having another baby seemed challenging short term but it was what we really wanted long term so we decided to have one more.
I'm 12 weeks pregnant and so far this pregnancy has been as awful as the last, which was rough. As long as this baby is born healthy, I'm never getting pregnant again and DH has volunteered to get a vasectomy as soon as I will let him. We were pretty set on this baby being the last anyways but this has solidified it.
We were pretty sure two was our limit when I got KU with #1. We were positive after that.
We hadn't decided for sure on #2 when I got pg with him. I asked for my tubes tied at one of the first appts and H had a v when #2 was ~ 3 mos old.
Exactly this, down to H may have a v even though I had my tubes removed during my RCS. The doctor asked me at least 5x during the procedure and a heavily drugged me told the operating room that 2 unplanned pregnancies sealed the fate of my uterus.
Post by iheartbanjos on Nov 6, 2015 5:58:28 GMT -5
I was pretty sure I wanted 2, H loved the idea of 3 but also thought only 2 woukd be best. I think we waited until DD2 was 18 months and we were sure we were done.
H and I both love babies, so even if they scream their heads off all day, it's easy for us to want more. Now we just enjoy other people's babies.
We agreed on 2 early on. We went through an IUI and IVF for our 2. I had GD and took insulin every night. And then I had a csection with ds2 and the recovery was awful.
Plus, ds2 still doesn't sleep well, after 20 months.
I love being pregnant but we have always been done at two. H is a middle child and had major hang ups about it and would never ever entertain the idea of 3. Having sren his family set up, I know where he is coming from although I know 3 doesn't have to be like that.
If I couldn't have got pregnant with #2, we would have been reluctantly one and done.
We knew all along we only wanted two. DH had the big V about a month after Dd2 was born. No regrets and I've never had a moment where I wish I could have another - I am so happy to be done with the baby thing and loving having regular kids.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
We're done. I always thought we'd have 3. After dd1 and dd2, I knew that we weren't done yet. Now that Ds is here, I don't feel that way at all-I'm ready to move past the child-bearing/newborn part of my life.
It is a little bittersweet-he just outgrew all of his 3 month clothes, and that's the last time I'll have a tiny baby that fits into those tiny clothes-but I have zero interest in a 4th. And DH has even less interest.
I have a mirena now, but when it's time to replace it in 5 years, we'll consider DH getting a vasectomy.
Before I even got pregnant with #2, we were both sure we were done at 2.
When my SIL announced she was pregnant with #3, I felt happiness and joy for her and no jealousy. That's when I knew there wasn't even a question (I mean, I knew, but that was FORSUREFORSURE)- because I was jealous both times she got pregnant with her first two kids since it was before me.
Related: I was hanging with my newish baby nephew this past weekend and even though he is a joy and a super calm, happy baby, I was more than happy to hand him back off to his mom. Hah.
This is such a good point. It took me 2-3 years to decide we were OAD. But now I feel so confident in my decision. People are pregnant - no jealousy. People have small infants - no thanks. Cute but keep him.
Before I even got pregnant with #2, we were both sure we were done at 2.
When my SIL announced she was pregnant with #3, I felt happiness and joy for her and no jealousy. That's when I knew there wasn't even a question (I mean, I knew, but that was FORSUREFORSURE)- because I was jealous both times she got pregnant with her first two kids since it was before me.
Related: I was hanging with my newish baby nephew this past weekend and even though he is a joy and a super calm, happy baby, I was more than happy to hand him back off to his mom. Hah.
This is such a good point. It took me 2-3 years to decide we were OAD. But now I feel so confident in my decision. People are pregnant - no jealousy. People have small infants - no thanks. Cute but keep him.
This is me too. We're 99% sure we're OAD. DS is almost 3, and not once have I felt that twinge to hold an infant again, jealousy at people having babies, etc. I think that's partly why I know I'm done.
Now that DS is here, we are both firmly convinced that we are 100% done. DH is being a little hesitant to pull the trigger on a vasectomy, but has agreed that it's our best option for permanent BC. Hopefully it will happen within the next six months or so.
This thread really has me thinking. DH was always open to 3 kids and I was adamant about only wanting 2 until we had so much TTTC to have C, then I was and still am open to 3 (although we only have 1 now so see what it's like with 2 first). I had always said that I would have my tubes tied if I had a c/s after our 2nd. Looks like my next pregnancy will be a RCS and I'm not sure I will be in the position to make things so final even though I am pretty sure DH will be 100% done.
I am very confident we're done and my DH was making noises about he and his cousin getting March Madness snips together, but I said no way, my Mirena is amaaaaazing and I plan to just get them over and over until menopause.
No reason you can't do both. My DH got the vasectomy (during March -- and he hates basketball!) and I am not giving up my Mirena. We're really, really done with having babies!
We were only going to have 2 from before we had DD1. I already discussed vasectomy with DH and he says he wants to wait until the baby is at least out. I will not ever be pregnant again.