Post by bananapancakes on Nov 6, 2015 21:23:11 GMT -5
I know nothing about this website but I just googled quickly and this came up. Some interesting tidbits and of course all spacing configurations have pros and cons.
We started when DS1 was 14 months old. We got pregnant right away with twins but lost them before end of 1st tri and then another singleton loss after that. When DS2 was finally born they were 3.5 yrs apart. I love the age difference. I would have no patience for 2u2.
I was so freaking sleep deprived that I waited longer than I thought I would -- I was terrified of the prospect of another newborn.
We started TTC #2 when DD was 22 months old and were lucky that it happened right away. So, they are 2.5 years apart.
DS is 22 months right now, and while I have a little baby fever, I'm not totally ready yet, so we're waiting til sometime in 2016 to TTC #3. If I was younger, I'd take a little break from the baby/toddler phase, but time's a tickin at 34...
bananapancakes I found that article spot on for the 4 year gap plusses, especially with dd1. No jealousy, she is very secure in her own identity, she views it as her baby and isn't sharing me but sharing the baby. Interesting.
We started TTC when DD was 19 months old and were fortunate to get pregnant on the first cycle. We were shooting for a 2-3 year age gap between kids (DD was 2y3m when DS was born).
I know nothing about this website but I just googled quickly and this came up. Some interesting tidbits and of course all spacing configurations have pros and cons.
I know nothing about this website but I just googled quickly and this came up. Some interesting tidbits and of course all spacing configurations have pros and cons.
And to answer your op, I was very antsy to make a decision of IF were having #2 (h was in the oad camp for a bit) and WHEN we would start ttc. A lot of times that manifested as me feeling like a needed to be pg NOW. I also had some anxiety around how long it would take to get pg after going through pg and childbirth.
That said, we started ttc halfway in September and got pg in October.
Post by cheeseandcrackers on Nov 6, 2015 21:59:32 GMT -5
I'm not on BC, but we are trying to play it safe aka tracking my cycle and pull out lol. That being said, I haven't been on BC since we've been together (over 5 years now) and E was planned.. but still. She has been such a good baby so there is no way I am expecting #2 to be like that. I want them close in age so I can get it over with but at the same time.. I think about how much harder things will be with 2. I think we will evaluate our situation next summer, so she'll be a little over one.
We haven't used birth control since C was born. We had such a hard journey to have C that I think we were secretly hoping/wishing we would get pregnant without TTC (although we've hardly had sex and my period just returned at 9 months PP). We are totally ready to be pregnant again but I really dread some decisions that will need to be made in the upcoming weeks (DH would like me to wean, RE is adamant about weaning before conceiving, etc and I'm just not ready to wean to start a journey that was so hard last time). We'll see how things play out...in my perfect world I would BF morning and night and get pregnant without any issues, but that's likely not going to happen.
It took us 2 years and fertility drugs to get pregnant with DD so I didn't go back on birth control after we had her but we were doing the "pull and pray" and I was half ass charting to avoid. I got pregnant when DD was 7 months old but had a miscarriage right away. I said I wanted to wait a few months but got drunk before having my period after the m/c and ended up pregnant again a month later. DS and DD are 17.5 months apart. DS is now 7 months and if we weren't living in an already too tiny apartment I would probably be willing to TTC again. But we will for sure be done after that.
For what it's worth both my kids are very easy going and mostly well behaved though DS sleeps like shit and I'm sleep deprived as hell but seeing my kids together melts my heart so it makes if worth it for us.
Okay, not really. We had originally planned to start TTC #2 when DS1 was 3. We had a come-to-Jesus meeting and decided to wait another year. DS1 was a challenging little guy. :?
DS1 was a colicky baby from hell. But he was soooo happy and easy from 5 months on. And he sttn and went to bed at 6/630pm and we had a ton of downtime post bedtime that we went crazy and thought what the hell, let's try for another when he turns 1. I got pregnant literally the weekend he turned 1.
The first 6 months of 2u2 sucked big time. It was really hard. But once they were about 1.5 and 3 years old it became soooo easy and they still play great together 90% of the time at 3 and 5 years old. They share a room and are the best little buddies.
DD is 3y1m younger than DS2 and so far, 1p weeks in I am personally loving this spacing much better. It's way easier on me as a parent. It's probably a combination of both boys being older and having each other as playmates when I'm busy with the baby. They can use the bathroom, get snacks and water on their own, play together, etc.
It's irrational, I suppose, but I kind of feel Bad for first kids whose parents choose to TTC early (which to me is arbitrary, like one year). I feel like it's not fair to that first kid. I know this will piss off some people.
Its not fair that they would get a sibling so soon? I mean either way the 2nd kid never even get to be an only child so I'm not sure what it really takes away from the first.
It's not so much about undivided attention, but about letting the first kid be a baby before adding another. The link bananapancakes posted pretty much covers it in the "under 1" section. There are soooo many cons to that spacing, so I personally don't understand wanting it.
We weren't trying and weren't preventing after ds1. Honestly, I think a part of me wanted to be pregnant again quickly to have a redo of my pregnancy with ds1 which was rough from nine weeks until delivery. I felt robbed of the entire experience. I don't think we were expecting anything to happen so soon. I never got what I thought was a definitive af after ds1 so we were never quite sure of my dates. Ds1 and ds2 will be about 12 months apart when all is said and done. After ds 2s arrival we will also be in a position to get much more help so even if it is crazy, it will hopefully be manageable.
Post by carolinagirl831 on Nov 6, 2015 22:45:16 GMT -5
Ttc under one is dangerous because you don't know what kind of toddler they will be. Babies 5-10 months are pretty awesome. Than they become toddler monsters We waited to ttc #2 when dd1 was 17 months and got pregnant the second month so she was 26 months when dd2 was born. That is close enough for me!
We stopped preventing at 9 months. I was EBF. I got my first postpartum period on dd's first birthday (nothing like that experience to remind you of the trauma of child birth!) and got pregnant a couple weeks later.
Its not fair that they would get a sibling so soon? I mean either way the 2nd kid never even get to be an only child so I'm not sure what it really takes away from the first.
It's not so much about undivided attention, but about letting the first kid be a baby before adding another. The link bananapancakes posted pretty much covers it in the "under 1" section. There are soooo many cons to that spacing, so I personally don't understand wanting it.
Umm what about if you want 2-3 kids and you're getting kinda old? Not everyone has the luxury of time on their side by the time they settle down with a partner and can feasibly have a child
It's not so much about undivided attention, but about letting the first kid be a baby before adding another. The link bananapancakes posted pretty much covers it in the "under 1" section. There are soooo many cons to that spacing, so I personally don't understand wanting it.
Umm what about if you want 2-3 kids and you're getting kinda old? Not everyone has the luxury of time on their side by the time they settle down with a partner and can feasibly have a child
I addressed that upthread. My opinion is barring health or age considerations, and assuming the spacing is by choice. And it's just my take on it.
Post by starburst604 on Nov 6, 2015 23:16:07 GMT -5
Yes. Crazy. I have to start TTC in 6 months when L is one. I'm fucking terrified. The last 6 months flew by at warp speed so May feels like tomorrow to me.
I was nowhere near ready until DD was well over 2, and then I signed up for an Ironman so I had to wait until after that, but so far I love the 3.5 year age difference
DH wants to wait until we get back from Asia in February, but for work reasons at that point I need to wait until summer. So we will probably TTC right around her 2nd birthday.
We never really used birth control methods after DD was born. I relied heavily on BFing and luckily it worked! I got pregnant the month after weaning. I remember though around 3 mos pp that I was soooooo ready for #2. That feeling passes and I'm glad I didn't have a newborn when dd was 12 mos!
Pre-DD, I was pretty sure I'd have 2u2 or even 2u1.
DD was born and she still doesn't fully believe in STTN at 23 months. That's huge. When I was sleep deprived at 15 months or 18 months, the last thought on my mind was "oh yeah, let me totally add another one who also doesn't get STTN." DD is finally experimenting consistently with STTN and my AD's are now kicking in, so for the first time in a long time, I finally feel good about "the process" to having another. There are all these professional courses and travel things I should sign up for next year and I'm not signing up because I keep thinking "well next year is the year I should TTC so I don't end up with kids a decade apart."
So basically before DD, I was really dumb and naive. Now I hope they end up with a 3 year age gap.