I agree with everyone about slacktivism. But I changed my profile picture because I feel like so many people do it that it looks bad if I don't! (ETA: Not bad, but like I don't care which I certainly do. I'm obviously overthinking this.)
How does an individual person "support" the fight against f-ing ISIS? I think that's another reason for the slacktivism on this one. It feels/is very large and helpless.
I've donated to several Syrian refugee causes in recent months (eps since I was educated about it here), but that feels very insignificant.
I mean, it's not like I think people who didn't change their profile are about to join IS or something but I felt the same way. I don't normally change it (like I didn't for the gay rights thing a while back) just because I didn't know how. I did this time because it popped up and why not? If it was my country that had been attacked, I would like to see the rest of the World supporting us in whatever way they can, which, as individuals, is not that easy.
I lived in LA right after 7/7 ( London bombings) and there was a big mural in Hollywood with the Union Jack and your flag saying Americans were shoulder to shoulder with us and it made me feel good and "comforted" I guess?
it is just exhausting whenever something horrible happens and we are bombarded with images and articles and SO MANY OPINIONS from everyone all over the media and social media. People being shamed for showing support for France but not showing support for Lebanon and other Arab nations. Everyone trying to show how enlightened they are. People being judged if they do or don't change their profile picture. I just find it so very exhausting and contributes to my feelings of helplessness in our fucked up world. Let people feel how they feel, grieve how they want to grieve and who they feel led to grieve for.
I'm kind of here too. There is no correct answer, and I try not to judge or shame. General and systemic racism has been on my mind a lot lately and half of my feed has been talking about racism for a while now. And any deaths of innocents are tragedies. But I've got 2 small children and very few shits left to give, so I'm not going to spend my energy being afraid or trying to solve racism or world peace. I'm putting DS to sleep now and then I'm going to eat a bunch of brownies, because reading and truly understanding recent events and causes and solutions is too exhausting and depressing to even think about. But it makes me sad and frustrated that there's nothing I can do.
Honest question - why do you think it is that the attacks in Paris received so much more FB attention than recent attacks? Hitting close to home because it is Western culture?
I am not a profile pic changer but I don't give it any thought.
I did start crying this morning seeing some of the hateful posts against Muslims or discussing closing our borders to refugees. Fuck man. How is being hateful going to make the world a better place.
Maybe these steriods are making me more ragey than usual but between this and some Mizzou comments I have seen there are a couple IRL friends I am done with.
Post by turtlegirl on Nov 14, 2015 21:12:40 GMT -5
Today at DS1's bday party a few of us mom's were talking about how the whole "mean girls" thing seems to start so early these days. One mom was going on and on about how we as parents need to model good behavior, talk to our kids about bullying, etc.
And I totally agreed with her, except I also feel like her 6 year old daughter is kinda a mean girl. Whenever our group of about 6 kids gets together and her daughter is there she's the instigator of all the drama and fights. When her kids don't come then all the other kids play so much better together.
So I was judging, but also realizing maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about since my boys are only 3 and 5 and DD is a newborn. I'm sure I'll be dealing with the same crap in 5 or 6 years.
I feel you @mrsbecky. It makes me uncomfortable that tragedies outside of Western culture are barely noticed, let alone widely mourned. But that feeling does not at all diminish the horror of the attacks in Paris.
I have 2 awesome little boys. I don't want any more kids and I am (mostly) ok with not having a girl. My sil just told us she is having another boy and I felt relieved. Wtf is wrong with me?
Also a parent of two great little guys. I will totally admit I know my SIL will end up with at least one girl and I will probably cry alone when I find out. I don't want a girl, but I know that DH's parents very much do. I love my ILs, they love my kids. I know they do. But they will dote on a girl in a way they don't on my boys. They see little girls when they're with us and make comments about how they're hoping SIL has a girl. MIL has said to me before "imagine how much your mom and I would have bought for your kids if they'd been girls." FIL has said that having a daughter made him a better parent. I know everyone will say to me how THRILLED I must be that she's having a girl so I can buy girl stuff. And yeah. No thanks.
@forcuatro I am glad you guys found him. That is so scary. We lost DS1 once at an Easter egg hunt. It was terrifying and Disney is so crowded, it seems like it be impossible to find someone there
Thanks. I'm glad you found your son as well and thank you for commiserating. It was SOOO crowded. It was right after the parade ended and we had been sitting on a patio of a restaurant eating dinner. He blended in with the huge crowd that was leaving after watching the parade, it was dark, and he was wearing the new Darth Vader hat that we had just purchased before dinner which, of course, is black. And, to top it all off, I forgot my regular glasses in the car and it was too dark for my prescription sunglasses so I had a hard time seeing clearly through the crowd since I'm near-sighted. It was a complete mess.
My friend lost her TWO YEAR OLD at universal in Orlando! They were over in the Harry Potter area and she was paying for something and in that split second he was gone. once she finally asked an employee, they found him in like, 15 seconds. She just was too frantic to stop and as before and was trying to find him on her own. He had managed to get all the way from the HP area to the doctor Seuss area!
I couldn't imagine losing a child that young. I'm so glad your friend was able to find her kid quickly. It was pretty terrifying to lose DS1 but at least I could answer in the affirmative when they asked if he knew my phone number, would respond if his name was being called, and so on and he is old enough not to hide which they said is sometimes a problem for little kids. They get scared and crawl under a table or behind a bench. This is a big part of the reason that we didn't bring DS2 with us. He hates to be in the stroller unless you are walking quickly or jogging and there are too many people in DL for that. We could put him in a harness but if we let him free for even a second he would be gone.
I have 2 awesome little boys. I don't want any more kids and I am (mostly) ok with not having a girl. My sil just told us she is having another boy and I felt relieved. Wtf is wrong with me?
Also a parent of two great little guys. I will totally admit I know my SIL will end up with at least one girl and I will probably cry alone when I find out. I don't want a girl, but I know that DH's parents very much do. I love my ILs, they love my kids. I know they do. But they will dote on a girl in a way they don't on my boys. They see little girls when they're with us and make comments about how they're hoping SIL has a girl. MIL has said to me before "imagine how much your mom and I would have bought for your kids if they'd been girls." FIL has said that having a daughter made him a better parent. I know everyone will say to me how THRILLED I must be that she's having a girl so I can buy girl stuff. And yeah. No thanks.
I'm your sil in this situation. Between them, H's two sisters have 4 boys and another on the way. They are both done having kids after this one is born. I am the only one with a girl. She is definitely doted on by fil especially. I definitely think it was hard for my older sil especially as she has kind of hinted that she had the third child in hopes of a girl. She has given dd some dolls and stuff which I think she was saving in case she had a girl and which made me feel for her if she is disappointed.
Now I'll say I've also gotten into trouble about my Santa flameworthies before, but I still believe them. I do not understand how children believe that the mall Santa is the real Santa. I always assumed it was a dude dressed up as Santa, even though I believed there was a real Santa in the North Pole who came to my house. Like, he's a magical being. How is he also spending his days sitting between a Hot Topic and an Auntie Annie's? Think it through, 6-year-old.
Normally we see santa once. At the mall over thanksgiving. This year we may be seeing him twice in one day due to overlapping holiday events and I am just waiting for DS to figure it out. Eek.
Now I'll say I've also gotten into trouble about my Santa flameworthies before, but I still believe them. I do not understand how children believe that the mall Santa is the real Santa. I always assumed it was a dude dressed up as Santa, even though I believed there was a real Santa in the North Pole who came to my house. Like, he's a magical being. How is he also spending his days sitting between a Hot Topic and an Auntie Annie's? Think it through, 6-year-old.
I'm pretty sure my mom told me it wasn't the real Santa, just so she didn't have to wait in those lines with me.
My good friend ran out of food at her wedding. I didn't mind too much because the food was so boring but it proved to be a disaster for others. Almost everyone ended up sloppy drunk. A friend (who doesn't normally drink) turned into a vomit sprinkler in the lobby and women's bathroom. My bridesmaid dress got hit hard. To make this flameworthy: I have no idea where the dress is. I may have left it in the hotel. It may be packed in a box somewhere. I never want to relive that night.
Keeping with the wedding theme, DD and I attended my old roommate's wedding over Labor Day weekend. It was one of those "we have everything we could possibly need so if you must give us a gift then please donate to one of our charities" weddings.
The first flameful is that I have yet to sit down and donate. I mean it was out of town and I flew alone with DD and I couldn't find her wedding card for the longest time and forgot my checkbook, couldn't get to an ATM, etc. etc. But really I'm just super lazy. My wallet is right here next to me, I really should just get off the couch and get the card off my desk and do it now.
The second flameful would be that I want to reduce my donation because we had a rough experience at the event. Though I feel bad since it is a charity. The wedding was held in a venue with no AC. It was an Indian wedding with a fire and it was like 80 degrees outside that weekend. I had to bail early because DD was losing it in the heat and I don't blame her. The other kids a little older than her were also in rough shape - babysitting for them was in the basement while the parents were all seated on the 2nd floor with only 1 service elevator and the caterer refused to serve the kids dinner until past 8:30 pm.
I have 2 awesome little boys. I don't want any more kids and I am (mostly) ok with not having a girl. My sil just told us she is having another boy and I felt relieved. Wtf is wrong with me?
Also a parent of two great little guys. I will totally admit I know my SIL will end up with at least one girl and I will probably cry alone when I find out. I don't want a girl, but I know that DH's parents very much do. I love my ILs, they love my kids. I know they do. But they will dote on a girl in a way they don't on my boys. They see little girls when they're with us and make comments about how they're hoping SIL has a girl. MIL has said to me before "imagine how much your mom and I would have bought for your kids if they'd been girls." FIL has said that having a daughter made him a better parent. I know everyone will say to me how THRILLED I must be that she's having a girl so I can buy girl stuff. And yeah. No thanks.
This is exactly how I feel. My in-laws do so much more for my DH's sisters vs. what the are willing to do for him. I think I have always just assumed that they will do the exact same thing for the next generation. My dads parents always preferred my cousins who are male over my sister and I so maybe it is just a sensitive topic for me.
Seriously, I'd like to know, do you (and other posters) think it was stupid to light up the Empire State Building and the big Christ in Rio and other monuments around the world in red, white and blue as a show of solidarity last night? Do you think it's stupid that a bunch of actual French people living in France are posting these same images on their Facebook pages now to say, "hey, look, we're not alone"?
Whatever, fuck this. I can't argue about this right now. Fuck judging whatever in the fuck people have to do to process the terrible shit the world throws at us.
I changed my photo and wrote a little 'courage, mes amis...' message. It just hit too close to home, and I thought it would be nice for my friends to see it. I get upset by those memes that are judging people for praying for Paris, implying it means people don't care about Lebanon. Should we care about both tragedies? Absolutely. But the world is shitty enough without people criticising each other's compassion.
I want to toss every little thing MIL brought for M. Some of it is fine. Some of it makes makes me cringe. All of it is shit I would probably appreciate at least a little more if it came from someone else.
I hate the social media hubbub every time a tragic event occurs. Hashtag this. Change your profile to support that. Barf. I'll grieve without telling all 500 of my friends.
I was about to start a post earlier about this, but chickened out. I just don't see how it benefits anyone. My other flameworthy is I changed my profile pic anyway.
I want to toss every little thing MIL brought for M. Some of it is fine. Some of it makes makes me cringe. All of it is shit I would probably appreciate at least a little more if it came from someone else.
Toss it! I relate to your feelings, entirely. I think in the 2.75 years DS has been alive, I have kept maybe 20% of the shit she's bought him (aside from Christmas/bday wish list items that we requested on his behalf). It's not worth it to me to have clothes or toys or whatever around that bring up annoyed or otherwise negative feelings. I'll buy him socks on my own, thanks...lol. Seriously, socks, bibs, other completely innocuous and useful things have been given away merely because of where they came from. No regrets here
Preppy and mekia's kids are so cute, but the Santas CREEP ME OUT. Especially the one holding mekia's kids is going to seriously haunt my dreams. Like I kind of worry that at least one of them has a John Wayne Gacy basement.
That Santa looks exactly like my H's former boss, and it is freaking me out!
I posted the Instagram thing about caring about Paris but don't forget about Beirut and a bombing at a funeral in Iraq. I posted it because there is so much hate towards Muslims and especially the Syrian refugees on comments on other posts. Who posts hateful shit on George Takei for fucks sake? And so if my post makes one person think that most of the Syrian refugees are running FROM Isis not trying to be terrorists, then I am happy. And the thing still says 'let's pray for Paris'
The people that drove me crazy are the ones that say 'did you see what happened in xyz country, I'm so scared that could happen here' as their only topic. They don't say 'those poor people. How scary. I hope they catch the bad guys'. Nope. It's all about how it affects them.
But if you say 'my friends are there' that's okay to personalize.
I am not a fan of buffets at weddings. I would much prefer to have my food brought to me at my table.
I think this is a unity horse on this board. If not, it should be.
I don't like weddings where you aren't assigned a table and your food isn't brought to you. I spend the whole ceremony and time before getting to the dinner location worrying about getting a table with however many seats I need. And then what about so-and-so, where are they going to sit if we can't get a table together? It's just annoying and frankly I think is rude to do to your guests. Take the time and make a seating chart please. Guests take the time and spend the money to come celebrate with you, the least you can do is make sure they aren't "fighting" for their seat and food!
I am not a fan of buffets at weddings. I would much prefer to have my food brought to me at my table.
I have only been to 2 weddings where this is the case. Even buffets charge so much its insane. My last friend who married paid $75 a head for crappy overcooked chicken. I can't imagine what they would have charged to bring that to the table.
I am not a fan of buffets at weddings. I would much prefer to have my food brought to me at my table.
I think this is a unity horse on this board. If not, it should be.
I don't like weddings where you aren't assigned a table and your food isn't brought to you. I spend the whole ceremony and time before getting to the dinner location worrying about getting a table with however many seats I need. And then what about so-and-so, where are they going to sit if we can't get a table together? It's just annoying and frankly I think is rude to do to your guests. Take the time and make a seating chart please. Guests take the time and spend the money to come celebrate with you, the least you can do is make sure they aren't "fighting" for their seat and food!
Oh I hate seating charts. I want to choose who I sit with and not be assigned to sit with strangers or friends I don't really care for.
I think this is a unity horse on this board. If not, it should be.
I don't like weddings where you aren't assigned a table and your food isn't brought to you. I spend the whole ceremony and time before getting to the dinner location worrying about getting a table with however many seats I need. And then what about so-and-so, where are they going to sit if we can't get a table together? It's just annoying and frankly I think is rude to do to your guests. Take the time and make a seating chart please. Guests take the time and spend the money to come celebrate with you, the least you can do is make sure they aren't "fighting" for their seat and food!
Oh I hate seating charts. I want to choose who I sit with and not be assigned to sit with strangers or friends I don't really care for.
But someone who takes the time to make a good seating chart will put you with your friends and people you get along with! No seating chart means you run the risk of ending up at the table that has open spots next to great aunt Edith, grandpa Jim and crazy uncle Martin. No thanks! That's never happened to me when there was a seating chart but I've sat by some odd people when it's just free for all.
I want to toss every little thing MIL brought for M. Some of it is fine. Some of it makes makes me cringe. All of it is shit I would probably appreciate at least a little more if it came from someone else.
Toss it! I relate to your feelings, entirely. I think in the 2.75 years DS has been alive, I have kept maybe 20% of the shit she's bought him (aside from Christmas/bday wish list items that we requested on his behalf). It's not worth it to me to have clothes or toys or whatever around that bring up annoyed or otherwise negative feelings. I'll buy him socks on my own, thanks...lol. Seriously, socks, bibs, other completely innocuous and useful things have been given away merely because of where they came from. No regrets here
Same. Don't feel bad Muddled! It also bothers me that MIL doesn't listen to stores and sizes. Like when I tell you my skinny child doesn't fit well in baby gap, don't bring me a ton of baby gap stuff. She just does what she wants to feel like she did something instead of listening and getting us what we want. Except the zoo membership. That's the one thing she's understood is something we use a ton.