Confessions/vents/rants/bitching.

[pantsparty]

Jan 4, 2016 15:06:44 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Jan 4, 2016 14:50:51 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

You know, that's the most annoying part of the post to me. "Everyone said it was delicious." Like the dog's saliva was some kind of secret ingredient.

It was really hard to not blurt out that my dog licked it every single time someone commented on it.

Last year my H's grandma served us stuffing that had tons of hair in it. I took a bit, felt a hair in it, pulled said hair out, dug around in my scoop of stuffing and found 10 more hairs. I'm pretty sure my turkey is nothing compared to that. His family's cleanliness standards are nonexistent.

[05heel]

If someone side-eyed my kid for pooping at their house, I'd drop a hot, steaming deuce in their foyer and track it throughout their home in the slippers from the communal slipper basket (because you know this person would have one).

[laurack]

I just don't understand. If I need to poop I need to poop. Holding my poop would give me serious stomach pains and completely ruin my evening anyway. So no it's not ideal but if I need to poop and I happen to be in somebody's house I will have to just poop there. I certainly would not teach my kids to hold their poop when there are sanitary toilet facilities available.

[kevin arnold]

I love when Kirkette gets all finishing school on us.  Especially when she uses the term 'took a dump' repeatedly in her lesson about social graces.

[jojoandleo]

Isn't holding poop bad? Like, a cause of constipation? I think we should be teaching our kids everybody poops rather than teaching them shame and to hold it. Teach your kid to use the bathroom fan and air freshner instead.

[FastHands]

I'm also picturing a teenage boy being like "oh, I was just, uhhh.. waiting for the smell to clear."

Also, if someone goes into the bathroom and stays in there for like 15min for the smell to appropriately dissipate, errybody knows you pooped then, too. If you flush all quick-like and run out, then you have a CHANCE of playing it off like the dog farted.

ALSO, your olfactory system, in most cases, desensitizes to a smell once it's all up in yo nostrils. So even if you waited until YOU stopped smelling it, once you open that door and create a Poo Particle Backdraft? Your puny little latency period has done nothing, NOTHING I SAY. Except for betray your poopage, as noted above.

[cashews]

People poop. Kids poop. I'm not going to force my kid to hold their crap because because your shitting-room might smell like shit later. THAT ROOM IS DESIGNED FOR POOP.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2016 15:12:53 GMT -5 05heel said:

If someone side-eyed my kid for pooping at their house, I'd drop a hot, steaming deuce in their foyer and track it throughout their home in the slippers from the communal slipper basket (because you know this person would have one).

OMG it's painful trying to hold in the laughs.  Ugh.  Why must there be a meeting next door right this second?

[05heel]

Jan 4, 2016 14:37:06 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

I can't stop eating Cuties.

THAT'S WHAT MY DATE SAID!!!



Ba-dum-ching

[youbetcha]

I...don't understand. THAT'S WHAT BATHROOMS ARE FOR! Thinking that you should not take care of your bodily functions in the closest available restroom is like thinking folks are rude if they walk on your floor, sit on your couch or watch your TV.

[cashews]

Confession:

When H and I were at an open house, I suddenly got the urge to poop real bad. Like, if I didn't find a bathroom I was going to crap myself-bad. I definitely dropped a deuce in the basement bathroom.

We bought the house. Not because I was ashamed of my poop though.

[FastHands]

Jan 4, 2016 15:16:44 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Now I'm picturing visiting someone's house and having them show me the guest bathroom and them saying, "No, no.. it's just for show. it's not even connected to any plumbing. If you have to go, there's an Exxon ten miles down the road."

If I ever go to @kirkette 's house, I'm going to eat six flaming hot bean burritos before I go.

"This is a really strange question, but is there a child lock or something on your toilet? I can't lift the seat.."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's not for human waste disposal; it's for additional seating only."

[TR]

Jan 4, 2016 15:18:19 GMT -5 05heel said:

Jan 4, 2016 14:37:06 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

I can't stop eating Cuties.

THAT'S WHAT MY DATE SAID!!!



Ba-dum-ching

omg

[scottyderp]

This is making me think of the time that my ex's stepdad had to break my poop in half to get the toilet to flush because he refused to let me do it myself. He was a fancy person who ironed his jeans and made me park my dated car down the street. I used to have sequoia-girth bowel movements that alarmed myself. I'm so glad the next FIL to be only saw a shark attack on my ass during my period.

[pantsparty]

Jan 4, 2016 15:19:44 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:16:44 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Now I'm picturing visiting someone's house and having them show me the guest bathroom and them saying, "No, no.. it's just for show. it's not even connected to any plumbing. If you have to go, there's an Exxon ten miles down the road."

If I ever go to @kirkette 's house, I'm going to eat six flaming hot bean burritos before I go.

"This is a really strange question, but is there a child lock or something on your toilet? I can't lift the seat.."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's not for human waste disposal; it's for additional seating only."

It's nice when you're hosting a large event and you don't have enough chairs and can offer an additional bathroom seat to a dinner guest.

[FastHands]

Jan 4, 2016 15:22:00 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:19:44 GMT -5 FastHands said:

"This is a really strange question, but is there a child lock or something on your toilet? I can't lift the seat.."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's not for human waste disposal; it's for additional seating only."

It's nice when you're hosting a large event and you don't have enough chairs and can offer an additional bathroom seat to a dinner guest.

It's a nice way to let someone know where they stand. When even the kiddie table, or a tray table in the hallway, isn't quite clear enough.

[winecat]

Jan 4, 2016 11:53:10 GMT -5 @licia said:

I only eat free range, organic, live germs when they're in season.

FTFY

[TR]

Jan 4, 2016 15:22:00 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:19:44 GMT -5 FastHands said:

"This is a really strange question, but is there a child lock or something on your toilet? I can't lift the seat.."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's not for human waste disposal; it's for additional seating only."

It's nice when you're hosting a large event and you don't have enough chairs and can offer an additional bathroom seat to a dinner guest.

I'm sure Sue Sue's MIL has done this.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2016 11:45:28 GMT -5 Serenity9 said:

Only liking because I totally get it.

[So_Fetch]

Jan 4, 2016 12:31:10 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

Jan 4, 2016 11:48:27 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

So I haven't watched Making A Murderer, but I've been reading all of the posts here.

One thing I keep thinking, is how much faith everyone puts into the jury system - yet how few people who would actually make good jurors actually want to serve on jury duty. People are always trying to get out of it, bitch and moan about it, it's never convenient, yada yada yada. Then we wonder why the jury didn't do well.

I haven't seen it and I haven't read the thread because I want to watch but I don't think it's just the jury. I studied so many wrongful conviction cases in grad school, it's frightening. One case, the state appointed attorney fell asleep during the trial and they appealed on the basis of an incompetent attorney, the appeal was denied because he wasn't *that* incompetent. Coerced confessions, evidence that's ignored or even hidden sometimes because it doesn't fit what the detective has decided happened.

Not to mention increased likelihood of conviction and death penalty if you're African American.

It's kind of terrifying.

I served on a jury during a 6 week (very boring finance related) trial.  The hardest part was following the law when the law is 1) unclear or 2) dumb.  The attorney's put together a document that we basically had to go through and answer the questions and based on our answers, it would determine if we could find them guilty or not.  The document was super confusing, worded poorly, and no way in the world could a person with half a brain come to a guilty verdict or calculate damages based on the spreadsheet.  Even in accordance with the law, we were all in agreement that one of the many defendants should have been guilty and paid damages.  But, using their document, we weren't able to make it work.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2016 15:23:11 GMT -5 winecat said:

Jan 4, 2016 11:53:10 GMT -5 @licia said:

I only eat free range, organic, live germs when they're in season.

FTFY

And remember to SHOP LOCAL!

[kevin arnold]

Jan 4, 2016 15:35:00 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:12:53 GMT -5 05heel said:

If someone side-eyed my kid for pooping at their house, I'd drop a hot, steaming deuce in their foyer and track it throughout their home in the slippers from the communal slipper basket (because you know this person would have one).

All jokes aside 
Your kids flush,  05heel . That's what was wrong about  the story from the weekend. 
6 year olds should be able to flush and clean up after themselves after pooping.
I see now that the waiting out the stench might be off, but six year olds are expected to flush consistently. Right? 
Please someone tell me I'm right, and not completely off key with this exception. 

Well the rest of us were raised to squat over a hole in the ground, so...

[wambam]

The word stench has lost all meaning after this thread.

[pantsparty]

Jan 4, 2016 15:38:15 GMT -5 wambam said:

The word stench has lost all meaning after this thread.

What about STAAAAAAAAANK?

[elleblue]

Jan 4, 2016 15:40:17 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:37:23 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Well the rest of us were raised to squat over a hole in the ground, so...

This is bringing up really unfortunate backpacking flashbacks. 
I'm sorry camp leader, I think I miss understood you. This little orange shovel is for what now? 

Having to poop in a hole one of the main reasons I'm in no rush to ever try real camping. No thank you. 

[05heel]

Jan 4, 2016 15:35:00 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:12:53 GMT -5 05heel said:

If someone side-eyed my kid for pooping at their house, I'd drop a hot, steaming deuce in their foyer and track it throughout their home in the slippers from the communal slipper basket (because you know this person would have one).

All jokes aside 
Your kids flush,  05heel . That's what was wrong about  the story from the weekend. 
6 year olds should be able to flush and clean up after themselves after pooping.
I see now that the waiting out the stench might be off, but six year olds are expected to flush consistently. Right? 
Please someone tell me I'm right, and not completely off key with this exception. 

Sure, but my experience with 6-year-olds is that if you make a big deal out of it, they'll get that poop concealed by any means necessary.  The means often involve an entire roll of toilet paper, a round with the plunger or toilet brush, and a flooded bathroom.   If anything I'll make sure she finds an adult if there's an issue.  I thought this was a good plan up until today.  She might find the wrong person and leave the bathroom in tears!  Then I'll have to go to prison.

[okla]

Jan 4, 2016 15:35:00 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:12:53 GMT -5 05heel said:

If someone side-eyed my kid for pooping at their house, I'd drop a hot, steaming deuce in their foyer and track it throughout their home in the slippers from the communal slipper basket (because you know this person would have one).

All jokes aside 
Your kids flush,  05heel . That's what was wrong about  the story from the weekend. 
6 year olds should be able to flush and clean up after themselves after pooping.
I see now that the waiting out the stench might be off, but six year olds are expected to flush consistently. Right? 
Please someone tell me I'm right, and not completely off key with this exception. 

I walked into two situations last weekend where either my cousin's 4 or 6 year old didn't flush a poo. Or worse, one of the adults in the house. 

[scottyderp]

Jan 4, 2016 15:43:21 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:21:52 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

This is making me think of the time that my ex's stepdad had to break my poop in half to get the toilet to flush because he refused to let me do it myself. He was a fancy person who ironed his jeans and made me park my dated car down the street. I used to have sequoia-girth bowel movements that alarmed myself. I'm so glad the next FIL to be only saw a shark attack on my ass during my period.

My mom caries around a plastic knife in her purse just in case.

For real?

[fryjack2]

Jan 4, 2016 15:40:17 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Jan 4, 2016 15:37:23 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

Well the rest of us were raised to squat over a hole in the ground, so...

This is bringing up really unfortunate backpacking flashbacks. 
I'm sorry camp leader, I think I miss understood you. This little orange shovel is for what now? 

So, when H and I first started dating, his mom gave him a box of some of his stuff from home.  One of those was in the box.  I asked why she gave him a shovel.  He said it was for camping and explained what exactly it was used for. 

I have no idea why she gave a shit shovel back to him in a box of med schools books and childhood memorabilia.   I'm guessing she didn't realize what it was.  She does not camp.  Those shovels are another reason I don't go camping.   I'll stick to vacation destinations with plumbing.

[Deleted]

My 6 year old is the WORST about flushing. I literally remind him multiple times per week, and every once in a while he leaves his little rabbit poos in there.