Is this a "thing" re: weddings

[Deleted]

One of my good friends is getting married but I am not invited due to it being immediate family only. This was a financial thing as well as a space thing. I get it, not upset. But, I'm a bit off-put by their wedding/relationship website that encourages folks to buy stuff off their registries (linked there) since nobody is invited to the wedding. Is it appropriate/acceptable to expect people to buy you gifts if they aren't invited to the wedding? Am I just dumb and this is a "thing"? I plan to send a gift, but I guess I would never advertise my registry like that, especially when you aren't inviting people to your wedding/reception. How common is this?

Eta: This couple is 10 years younger than me, so I'm feeling like an out of touch aunt or something.

[cabbagecabbage]

A thing for assholes maybe.

[Deleted]

Oh shit, it gets worse. If you don't want to buy off their registries, you can contribute to their honeymoon on this website too. I am dead.

[TR]

So wait. How is this request for gifts being made if not in an invitation?

ETA: I re-read, so the wedding website specifically encourages those not invited to buy a gift? How does one phrase that tacky nonsense?

[cabbagecabbage]

I feel like selling wedding tickets is going to happen it's just a matter of time until someone writes a perfect poem for the evite.

[specialk]

I don't get why anyone would look at the website unless they are going to the wedding. Maybe it's intended for the immediate family?

Unless they're like, posting it on Facebook which is definitely obnoxious

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2016 13:26:35 GMT -5 specialk said:

I don't get why anyone would look at the website unless they are going to the wedding. Maybe it's intended for the immediate family?

Unless they're like, posting it on Facebook which is definitely obnoxious

It's linked on social media.

[zitiqueen]

Is class on any of their registries? They sure could use some.

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2016 13:25:48 GMT -5 TR said:

So wait. How is this request for gifts being made if not in an invitation?

ETA: I re-read, so the wedding website specifically encourages those not invited to buy a gift? How does one phrase that tacky nonsense?

It encourages everyone to buy them gifts or contribute to their honeymoon, but oh yeah, nobody is invited to the wedding. I am embarrassed for them.

[auntie]

That's the kind of behavior that brings out the passive aggressive in me. While it's OK to answer questions about one's registry, it's never appropriate to promote it without prompting.

I'd be tempted to order a nice Lands End Towel set in the ugliest color they make. And have it monogrammed. Or give a Walmart GC with a note to "complete her registry".

[cleo29]

[ECB]

Yeah. No. This isn't a "thing". They seem to want a small wedding due to $$& (totally fine) but yet reap the "rewards" (lots of gifts) of a large wedding.

Knowing about this would be the exact thing that would make me NOT get them a gift.

[cheeseandcrackers]

"i love buying wedding gifts to weddings i'm not invited to," says no one ever.

[cleo29]

Feb 6, 2016 14:02:49 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

"i love buying wedding gifts to weddings i'm not invited to" says no one ever.

@absinthe, I kind of want you to write this on their FB wall and say, "I give you the gift of sarcasm"

[sparkythelawyer]

You know damn well some tacky ass aunt of theirs suggested this as an idea. And someone is going to try to throw them a shower too, I guarantee it

[ECB]

Feb 6, 2016 14:11:07 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

You know damn well some tacky ass aunt of theirs suggested this as an idea. And someone is going to try to throw them a shower too, I guarantee it

"the people who really love you will want to buy you something anyway!"

[sparkythelawyer]

Feb 6, 2016 14:16:34 GMT -5 ECB said:

Feb 6, 2016 14:11:07 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

You know damn well some tacky ass aunt of theirs suggested this as an idea. And someone is going to try to throw them a shower too, I guarantee it

"the people who really love you will want to buy you something anyway!"

The people who really love you will suffer this bullshit but totally talk shit behind your back. :-)

[noodleoo]

Feb 6, 2016 13:27:38 GMT -5 @absinthe said:

Feb 6, 2016 13:26:35 GMT -5 specialk said:

I don't get why anyone would look at the website unless they are going to the wedding. Maybe it's intended for the immediate family?

Unless they're like, posting it on Facebook which is definitely obnoxious

It's linked on social media.

OMG so tacky. The sad thing is that people probably would have gotten them gifts anyway. But this makes them look like greedy assholes and people are just going to talk about how tacky they are behind their backs. Sad. 

[foundmylazybum]

Not a thing.

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2016 14:06:09 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Feb 6, 2016 14:02:49 GMT -5 cheeseandcrackers said:

"i love buying wedding gifts to weddings i'm not invited to" says no one ever.

@absinthe, I kind of want you to write this on their FB wall and say, "I give you the gift of sarcasm"

I did this once. It didn't end well.

I absolutely planned to get them a gift, but now I don't want to. They both sort of think they're celebs because they're local photogs and have lots of followers on IG.

[frkls]

i bet this girl is in this super weird position of not inviting anybody to her wedding and having well-meaning co-workers or church friends or whatever ask about a registry.

[frkls]

doesn't make it better. LOL! i'm just saying that maybe that felt like a good idea after being asked by her mom's friends and stuff.

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2016 14:52:36 GMT -5 frkls said:

i bet this girl is in this super weird position of not inviting anybody to her wedding and having well-meaning co-workers or church friends or whatever ask about a registry.

They're both BIG into church. I guess they can't be bothered to throw them a shower and print it in the bulletin. I don't know her all that well, the groom is like my little brother.

[Deleted]

No that's not a thing.  If someone that's not invited/can't make it wants to send a gift, they send a gift (usually money)

[livinitup]

So, kinda like begging.

[Deleted]

Feb 6, 2016 15:02:51 GMT -5 livinitup said:

So, kinda like begging.

No, we're "helping them celebrate". (Sarcasm)

[Eagles]

Ew.

[sparkythelawyer]

Feb 6, 2016 15:13:23 GMT -5 @absinthe said:

Feb 6, 2016 15:02:51 GMT -5 livinitup said:

So, kinda like begging.

No, we're "helping them celebrate". (Sarcasm)

Like an MLM "party," wedding edition.

[keyslover]

Feb 6, 2016 14:09:39 GMT -5 @fkasmace said:

I love this one, it is useful in so many situations.

[Moe]

3 friends and I are going to a bridal shower for a friend of ours whose upcoming wedding is in town.  Not a family only affair.  Neither of us were invited to the wedding.

Wont lie, I am (and we are) a bit miffed but I (we all) like her so... Here we are, buying presents and attending the shower, yet we're not going to the wedding.