I might actually be the bad guy in this. When we were newly married I got mad at H when he got me a nice bouquet of flowers because they were expensive and we were poor. Since then he gets nervous about buying gifts or making grand gestures because I might get upset.
Pretty much every holiday now comes with a price limit or, in the case of mother's day and my birthday, I take a day and go shopping for whatever I want or the family needs. Mother's day and my birthday are roughly two weeks apart and this year a friend and I are taking off overnight to have a girls' shopping and pampering day that we are planning ourselves. Mani/pedi, nice meals out, outlet malls, etc.
Gifts are definitely not my love language. Acts of service (i.e. watching the kids so I can shop) definitely fit the bill.
I couldn't care less about Valentine's day. H is the one who likes to celebrate. I bought him and dd cards from Dollar Tree.
This and I hate flowers because they die and it seems like a waste.
Exactly. This is another part of why I go upset at H early in our marriage. Yes, the idea was nice but you spent $60 we didn't have on something I will throw away in a few days. He doesn't appreciate how practical I am sometimes.
My MILs birthday is Valentine's Day and she insists in celebrating on her birthday so we don't ever really do anything. I don't mind though, it's never been an important day to me. I'd rather he make a fuss on my birthday
In high school, I spent a lot of time making a sweet present with all our inside jokes for my boyfriend. He gave me a baby blue sparkly shirt that said princess on it. It was a short shirt (all the rage in the early 2000's) and it was an XXXL.
A different boyfriend took me to a super fancy prefix meal. The first course was an artichoke. Well he had never had one and just started putting leaves in his mouth and chewing them. He didn't want to spit them out at this nice place, so he chewed on them like gum our whole meal.
Post by spunkarella on Feb 12, 2016 15:40:23 GMT -5
I have to add that despite all my breeziness about Valentine's Day, I was very disappointed in DH for MLK day. He had the day off and I had to work. I thought he should have delivered Starbucks to me at work, and then convinced me to take off early to see a movie. I was so sad that none of that happened.
I have very minimal expectations for Valentine's Day. I like to celebrate it as a holiday more for friends and family by sending cards and celebrate with DS by doing a few little special gifts/activities. Really all I want from H is a card. Last year he decided to up his Valentine's Day game and ordered me a few pieces of every day jewelry. There were 3 boxes and it was a matching set of love knot earrings, necklace, and bracelet. Unfortunately I already own the same earrings and necklace . I kind of felt bad for him, but then again he bought me the first set!
Gifts or celebrations haven't been his strong point in the last few years. This post is reminding me that we never did anything to celebrate my 35th birthday in December...ugh.
I am dying at getting the same jewelry multiple times.
A different boyfriend took me to a super fancy prefix meal. The first course was an artichoke. Well he had never had one and just started putting leaves in his mouth and chewing them. He didn't want to spit them out at this nice place, so he chewed on them like gum our whole meal.
This made me legit lol.
My h usually buys some overpriced flowers for delivery and candy. I always cringe at how much he spends. The other day we were at Costco and I was like, "look at these nice $20 flowers! Costco has Godiva chocolate for $19.99!!!" Hope he gets the hint! Lol
This and I hate flowers because they die and it seems like a waste.
Exactly. This is another part of why I go upset at H early in our marriage. Yes, the idea was nice but you spent $60 we didn't have on something I will throw away in a few days. He doesn't appreciate how practical I am sometimes.
And don't get me started on the cost of cards, I always flip them over to see how much it was. I prefer the message the giver wrote rather than whatever Hallmark printed. I joke with DH about springing for the "fancy" card when I spend over $1.50. I have also shared with him that our local grocery store sells pretty flowers that are a fraction of the price and they even live longer.. I do not have a green thumb at all so even a cactus would die in my care.
DH planned for us to go on a breakfast date on Monday to the Waffle House (fancy!) since he has off work. I never turn down breakfast food, but I had to break it to him that the kids do not have school Monday either. Womp womp. Definitely a default parent moment.
Post by MadamePresident on Feb 12, 2016 16:15:05 GMT -5
We had plans to get steaks to cook and eat at home, and maybe go see a movie, but thanks to Nods being sick we are doing nothing instead. Since we have plans the next two weekends I'm thinking Valentine's might just not happen this year. I bought chocolate last week, and has been putting one in his work bag each day this week.
Usually for valentines day I will make cookies and cards for my friends and deliver them.
I have very minimal expectations for Valentine's Day. I like to celebrate it as a holiday more for friends and family by sending cards and celebrate with DS by doing a few little special gifts/activities. Really all I want from H is a card. Last year he decided to up his Valentine's Day game and ordered me a few pieces of every day jewelry. There were 3 boxes and it was a matching set of love knot earrings, necklace, and bracelet. Unfortunately I already own the same earrings and necklace . I kind of felt bad for him, but then again he bought me the first set!
Gifts or celebrations haven't been his strong point in the last few years. This post is reminding me that we never did anything to celebrate my 35th birthday in December...ugh.
I am dying at getting the same jewelry multiple times.
I know! The only reason I felt bad for him was because he said afterwards that he checked my jewelry box for anything that looked similar. I told him he didn't see the earrings because they were most likely in my ears (I wear the earrings a good amount).
DH went away to a wedding this weekend, leaving me with the kids because DS2 freaks out in the car (it's a 8-12 hour drive depending on traffic) and we didn't want DS1 to miss school. But he's somehow mad at me for not going with him, even though he couldn't find a solution to make it happen.
Whatever, the kids and I are going to eat every meal out and go to Ikea, happy valentine's to me.
My XH proposed to me between my birthday and Valentine's Day so he didn't have to get me a present for either occasion. Yes, he told me this. What a catch.
One of the first years that we were dating, H said he was going to take us out for a nice dinner for Valentines Day. He said we were going to Bonefish (which was super fancy at 18 & 20!). I bought a new outfit, did my hair, etc.
We started driving and I was like, "Huh, I thought Bonefish was the other way." Still driving the wrong way, driving the wrong way, I didn't say anything. Finally pulled up to the restaurant.
It was fucking Smokey Bones BBQ. H got Smokey BONES mixed up with BONEfish. Which set me up for much disappointment.
But I mean, regardless, he meant to take me to a place called Smokey Bones for Valentines Day. Like on purpose. So there's that. lol
Totally unrelated, but I had the worst dining experience ever at a Smoky Bones while we were on vacation in FL a few years ago. My SIL and I still harass my BIL and H for picking that place.
DH went away to a wedding this weekend, leaving me with the kids because DS2 freaks out in the car (it's a 8-12 hour drive depending on traffic) and we didn't want DS1 to miss school. But he's somehow mad at me for not going with him, even though he couldn't find a solution to make it happen.
Whatever, the kids and I are going to eat every meal out and go to Ikea, happy valentine's to me.
I hate Vday because I always feel disappointed. I wish I could just skip it.
DH is all like go to dinner and a movie tonight. A) It's not vday b) I get up at 5 AM and I would rather get to sleep at a reasonable hour c) It doesn't seem special at all if we where likely going to get dinner anyway.
I always feel disappointed too. Holidays are my husband's biggest flaw. I don't get it because he is so sweet and thoughtful but he has some kind of holiday brain block!
I decided that I was not going to even mention vday this year. And treat him how I want to be treated. I have brunch reservations, am making his favorite dessert, and bought chocolate covered strawberries. So I may still be disappointed by him (likely), but at least I get a treat and a nice brunch!
@this I really like bonefish. Where does this put me?
When dh and I had started dating I was a senior in high school. He wanted to make our 1st vday special so we decided to go out to a nice dinner at the next big town because we lived in the middle of nowhere. So we drive 45 minutes to....olive garden (the fanciest restay rant ever)... which of course is packed, we wait and wait and wait. Like 2 hours later we get a table. And then agree to never go out on the 14th again.
Yesterday dh told me he wanted to get the girls flowers or something. I said sure but nothing exspensive. I'm not spending $40 on flowers for a 5 year old. Went to dollar general and found out they have single stem roses for $2 each. Told him to get her that. So maybe you ladies should tell your dh to go to dollar general
Post by starburst604 on Feb 12, 2016 23:19:08 GMT -5
Well, my worst V day involved a breakup with my then live in BF. He had been weird for a while, and we had no plans that night but he did bring home flowers. As I was going to bed I said I love you as usual and he didn't say it back. I asked why. You can imagine how that unfolded. I was moved out by St. Patrick's Day.
But, 6 years later I got engaged to H on Vday. I swear we aren't crazy Valentine's people...it just happened to be around when he bought the ring and it was ready. We were leaving for a tropical vacation a week later and he didn't want to do the thing where he had to sneak a ring through security and I was wondering the whole vacation when it was gonna happen, because I knew it was imminent. Then he ruptured his freaking Achilles' tendon, we had to cancel that vacation and my newly engaged ass waited on him hand and foot for weeks. He's said many a time that he's glad he had secured the engagement before that.
This year I had the idea to get a sitter and make reservations for tomorrow night. It's not that he wouldn't plan something, he would just remember like the day before, when there would be no sitter and no decent reservations. So I just took charge. I don't mind.
We went out for a fancy Valentine's dinner the first year we were dating, and I don't think we have since then. However, DS's school did a parent's night out tonight, so we did go to our favorite sushi place. On the way home I told him happy Valentine's dinner, and he was like "huh, what? Oh yeah, right." So I guess our celebrating is done, lol.
This year, I suggested to dh that he invite his mum over for dinner on Sunday. His dad is in hospital so I thought it would be nice for her (it's quite a stressful time for her and the rest of the family).
Dh's birthday was last weekend and we went to Paris for that. And we have a 40th birthday party tonight and last night he went to a quiz night with my parents and my sister. And I've to bring dd1 to a birthday party in less than 3 hours.
So..... A highly romantic weekend it isn't!! But I genuinely don't care. It's just a Hallmark holiday, not a real one in my mind.
This year isn't looking good...got roses delivered yesterday and immediately one of the rose heads fell off...lol. I feel like I was given the cold shoulder last night so I took a bath and went to bed at 8pm. We have dinner out tonight (kids sleeping over at mils), will see how it goes. Generally dh is a much better gifter than I am.
All this V-day talk prompted me to thank my husband for kicking ass this year on my birthday. I can be hard to please, and he did a great job. Now, we rest, haha.
Well, guess who has a stomach bug despite skipping that damn Super Bowl party? Meeeeeee!
Fuck!!!!
Happy valentine's day.
Dh went out all day today. Left at 6:30 and emailed me at 3:30 he wasn't going to be home until 10. I don't care if he gets me anything for valentine's day but tomorrow I am going and buying myself chocolate covered strawberries and maybe some flowers. I need the 30 minutes of silence.