Wedding vow renewals: sweet or stupid?

[ECB]

VOWS DON'T EXPIRE!!!!!! SO, for the most part, stupid. I could perhaps roll w/ a big anniversary, and then only if the guest list is truly their nearest and dearest.

I do know someone who did it for the 20, but it was just the 2 of them, the officiant and the ocean in Hawaii. That- don't side-eye at all. It was a private moment for them. Rock on.

People doing them for their 1st, 2nd and so forth, and/or those who make it a HUGE party- STUPID.

[Deleted]

SS - I think yearly is stupid. For big anniversaries it seems sweet, as long as it's not over the top. I also think than when a couple has been through hell in their relationship and have decided to make it work, a vow renewal can be a good thing.

[ECB]

May 17, 2012 11:14:33 GMT -5 v said:

Generally stupid, but we're doing them this year. Only because it is our fifth anniversary and we'll be in Las Vegas with 3 close friends and I'll finally get the Elvis chapel wedding I always wanted

O.k. - you get a pass.

[CloudBee]

I always think it's stupid, lol.

[Brie]

I think they're stupid except in the following situations:

-Couple has a quickie justice of the peace wedding due to deployment or other extenuating circumstance. They want to have a big traditional white dress/cake/etc shindig at a later date, and correctly label it a "vow renewal" because calling it a wedding is inaccurate.

-Major anniversary--25th, 50th, etc--and is kept to close friends and families.

-Couple does it privately with just the two of them, maybe a witness or two, and a pastor/justice of the peace as some sort of relationship reaffirmation to each other.

[chessie]

Once is enough- for us they didn't mean much. Though Dh did make the comment if the marriage license expired every 5 years or so there would be less divorces, definitely something about that concept though.

[Kore]

I think it's a dumb concept, but I don't judge unless they throw themselves a wedding-style party IHO their vow renewal.

[Deleted]

I think it depends on the AW-ness of the occasion.

Small private renewal for a random anniversary? Not stupid. DH and I privately do this every year.
Big blowout renewal for a major anniversary? Not stupid.
Big gift-grabby extravaganza? Lame.

[Deleted]

I think it is stupid unless it's a huge anniversary or it's just the two of them.

[Awkward]

I have zero issues with the big anniversary ones. My parents were planning on chartering a private sailboat in the Caribbean to do it for their 25th a few years ago, but had to cancel when my dad lost his job and got sick. I was looking forward to it. Hell, I might even want that for my own wedding...

I have to admit I side eye the big, fancy, even appropriately labled affairs a year later for people who had to rush and get married for some reason. I know I shouldn't judge if they had a deployment coming up or immigration issues or whatever. But I do.

[raangoli]

May 17, 2012 11:14:33 GMT -5 v said:

Generally stupid, but we're doing them this year. Only because it is our fifth anniversary and we'll be in Las Vegas with 3 close friends and I'll finally get the Elvis chapel wedding I always wanted

MH and I went to Vegas for our 1st anniversary and I suggested this. I was being funny, but it would have been awesome! Enjoy your vow renewal

[Willis Jackson]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: everyone I know who has renewed their vows has divorced. EVERYONE.

[KBAJ]

The people Iknow who have done it all cheated on each other then within 3 years were divorced anyway (unless it was for their 30th or 50th wedding anniversary. Stupid in my book. If you need to repledge yourself then you probably did somehting to break the vow in the first place.

[drloretta]

May 17, 2012 11:26:29 GMT -5 @mrschicken said:

I think it depends on the AW-ness of the occasion.

Small private renewal for a random anniversary? Not stupid. DH and I privately do this every year.
Big blowout renewal for a major anniversary? Not stupid.
Big gift-grabby extravaganza? Lame.

This.

My parents pull out their original wedding program and say their vows to each other every anniversary. Just the 2 of them. They had a vow renewal with a half dozen people present for their 25th, and it was lovely.

DH and I have talked about doing a small renewal in a tiny chapel in VT for a big-ish anniversary (maybe 10th?) That kind of scenario is more my speed.

[So_Fetch]

May 17, 2012 11:14:33 GMT -5 v said:

Generally stupid, but we're doing them this year. Only because it is our fifth anniversary and we'll be in Las Vegas with 3 close friends and I'll finally get the Elvis chapel wedding I always wanted

We (read: I) am planning an Elvis pink cadillac wedding in Vegas for our 5th. Because I want to party and I'll be skinnier than I was at our wedding and I can wear a darling rockabilly style dress with hot pink tulle underskirt.

[Deleted]

Depends on why you're doing it. I think it's sweet if you're doing it because you can thisclose to divorce.

It's stupid if you're just being an AW and want an excuse to have a second big wedding.

[futurepivko]

Sweet we plan on doing it one day.

[liveintheville]

I voted SS. I think they're whatever you make of them. Personally I can't even remember how long we've been married but I can see it being a big deal to other people.

[jlt19]

May 17, 2012 11:14:33 GMT -5 v said:

Generally stupid, but we're doing them this year. Only because it is our fifth anniversary and we'll be in Las Vegas with 3 close friends and I'll finally get the Elvis chapel wedding I always wanted

We'll be doing this for our 10 year anniversary. But we DID get married in an Elvis chapel the first time around, so it's like a complete repeat:)

[slug*bug]

Eh, I wouldn't do it.

But I would participate if friends were having one for themselves. They've supported me when I've wanted to do all sorts of things, so if that's what they wanted, I'd be there.

[Chirp]

SS

A vow renewal event every.single.year = AWish

A vow renewal event on a big anniversary or because of some major cluster-fuck = 'scool

[PrincessX]

Well....since the original vow is until DEATH, if one dies and comes back to life they should be renewed. Otherwise stupid and AWish.
Px

[thelongroad]

I always thought it was cute to do every 10 years, but I am noticing that the celebs that do are divorcing at an alarming rate. I told DH that we won't be renewing.

[Deleted]

I think it depends. If it is for a milestone year like 25 or 50 then I think it is sweet. If it is for a random 3 year or something done every year (ala Seal/Heidi Klum or Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon) then it is stupid.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2012 11:22:48 GMT -5 chessie said:

Once is enough- for us they didn't mean much. Though Dh did make the comment if the marriage license expired every 5 years or so there would be less divorces, definitely something about that concept though.

They actually have this in Mexico. You can either go and renew it if you want to stay married or you can just let it expire and cease to be married (you have to hash out a division of property/hypothetical child custody agreement before the wedding).

[pinkdutchtulips]

my grandparents did one for their 50th anniversary .. that i can undestand (they were married at 26 (my gpa) and 29 (my gma)) so making it to 50 was a HUGE deal.

i also know people who did that for their 10th and they ended up divorcing ..

[KaraOrNot]

Stupid...on all counts!

[fashionx]

May 17, 2012 11:20:46 GMT -5 Brie said:

I think they're stupid except in the following situations:

-Couple has a quickie justice of the peace wedding due to deployment or other extenuating circumstance. They want to have a big traditional white dress/cake/etc shindig at a later date, and correctly label it a "vow renewal" because calling it a wedding is inaccurate.

-Major anniversary--25th, 50th, etc--and is kept to close friends and families.

-Couple does it privately with just the two of them, maybe a witness or two, and a pastor/justice of the peace as some sort of relationship reaffirmation to each other.

I agree with all of this.

[tardyfortheparty]

I like it if & only if only the couple is present....any vow renewals in front of others rub me the wrong way.

[Rachael070707]

I don't have a problem with any of them other than the AW versions.

We will be having one next winter - a delayed 5 year renewal. It will just be us (my mom and stepdad might join though) on a beach like we originally planned for 5 months before a shitstorm happened thanks to family and we had a wedding at home.

I would classify us as a couple that's gone through a lot of significant challenges in the last 5 years so it really will mean something special to us. Even if others thinks it's a dumb thing to do. There will be no big deal made by us over it. I'll probably share a few pics but it's for us and not something to AW.