Every year on the 4th of July my whole family (siblings, nieces, nephews, parents) goes to my mom's good friend's house. The friend lives on the parade route and everyone brings food and it's a really fun day. We're in the shade and can watch the biggest parade in the state comfortably. When it's over we walk 3 blocks to the carnival.
SIL got 4 tickets to a MLB game for that day. She wants to bring herself, MIL, DH, and DD. So everyone but me and DS. FIL has passed.
I'm hurt. First because the tradition of the parade can't happen, and second because I'm not invited. I guess she got them through work and they only had 4 so it's not like she chose to only buy 4 but still it hurts none the less.
DH wants to bring DD to the game, and I want to do the parade and carnival. I can go with just DS but DD enjoys it so much and it won't be nearly as much fun for me without her.
Yes. Because she's clearly excluding you and your son for no damned reason. She could sell the four tickets and get 6 together in a different section.
July 4 is one day. Baseball season is months long. She could have picked ANY OTHER DAY.
And I'd be looking at your husband all but daring him to go. I'd be all "Go ahead, leave, spend your July 4 with the people you want to spend it with. Far be it for me to get in your way..." guilt tripping.
If the tickets are seasons tickets belonging to a firm, they probably get the same 4 seats for every game so regardless of the day, there would just be 4 tickets. Maybe that day works best for SIL? Does she even know your family does a thing that day? Like I assume she's not evilly plotting to ruin your plans?
I'm not American so maybe I'm missing July 4th significance, but this doesn't seem like a huge deal. I wouldn't want to go to a baseball game with little kids and I don't think I'd be bothered if my kid did a fun thing (baseball game) with my H instead of a fun thing with the family (parade).
LOL. Like, you're missing why July 4th is a big deal? Oh, Canadians
lala ,no not really. He plays fantasy baseball and follows the sport but he's not a HUGE fan or anything.
I'm just annoyed that now if I say no then I'm the bad guy but if I tell DH to go with DD then it ruins my 4th. I feel like there's no "winner" in this.
DS has to stay with me regardless because he'll only be 4 months and he nurses.
You are not the bad guy. You did not create this mess. He should be ok with "Uh, we have a tradition we do every year, you're really going to ditch DS and I for that?" and that should have been the end of it.
Every year on the 4th of July my whole family (siblings, nieces, nephews, parents) goes to my mom's good friend's house. The friend lives on the parade route and everyone brings food and it's a really fun day. We're in the shade and can watch the biggest parade in the state comfortably. When it's over we walk 3 blocks to the carnival.
SIL got 4 tickets to a MLB game for that day. She wants to bring herself, MIL, DH, and DD. So everyone but me and DS. FIL has passed.
I'm hurt. First because the tradition of the parade can't happen, and second because I'm not invited. I guess she got them through work and they only had 4 so it's not like she chose to only buy 4 but still it hurts none the less.
DH wants to bring DD to the game, and I want to do the parade and carnival. I can go with just DS but DD enjoys it so much and it won't be nearly as much fun for me without her.
Yes. Because she's clearly excluding you and your son for no damned reason. She could sell the four tickets and get 6 together in a different section.
July 4 is one day. Baseball season is months long. She could have picked ANY OTHER DAY.
And I'd be looking at your husband all but daring him to go. I'd be all "Go ahead, leave, spend your July 4 with the people you want to spend it with. Far be it for me to get in your way..." guilt tripping.
Because I'm currently hangry and feisty.
You are usually not allowed to sell tickets you get from work like that. I don't know how her company does it, of course, but those I know who get this perk are usually on a list of interested people and they might not get a lot of say. Certain games w/ my MIL's work (usually play off, though) if you take them you must use them all or you don't get offered again.
I do agree I'd probably say something similar, and expect him to feel guilty and not go.
I'd be sad about the possibility of missing a tradition I liked, but I wouldn't be bugged by her asking. She got the tickets for this day (probably because no clients want to be entertained on a holiday) and asked her family to join her. There weren't enough for everyone. Her choice of her brother and his oldest doesn't seem odd.
That said, they don't have to go with her and MIL, though it sounds like the party might not happen either way. You could also consider getting two more tickets and going to the game too.
Every year on the 4th of July my whole family (siblings, nieces, nephews, parents) goes to my mom's good friend's house. The friend lives on the parade route and everyone brings food and it's a really fun day. We're in the shade and can watch the biggest parade in the state comfortably. When it's over we walk 3 blocks to the carnival.
SIL got 4 tickets to a MLB game for that day. She wants to bring herself, MIL, DH, and DD. So everyone but me and DS. FIL has passed.
I'm hurt. First because the tradition of the parade can't happen, and second because I'm not invited. I guess she got them through work and they only had 4 so it's not like she chose to only buy 4 but still it hurts none the less.
DH wants to bring DD to the game, and I want to do the parade and carnival. I can go with just DS but DD enjoys it so much and it won't be nearly as much fun for me without her.
Yes. Because she's clearly excluding you and your son for no damned reason. She could sell the four tickets and get 6 together in a different section.
July 4 is one day. Baseball season is months long. She could have picked ANY OTHER DAY.
And I'd be looking at your husband all but daring him to go. I'd be all "Go ahead, leave, spend your July 4 with the people you want to spend it with. Far be it for me to get in your way..." guilt tripping.
Because I'm currently hangry and feisty.
She's not excluding her for no reason. She has four tickets given to her by her firm. I think it would be super shitty of her if she sold those tickets in order to get 6 (or a 5th, since her DS doesn't need a ticket). Not to mention, I'm sure it would be incredibly frowned upon (especially if they're box seats or suite tickets).
If the tickets are seasons tickets belonging to a firm, they probably get the same 4 seats for every game so regardless of the day, there would just be 4 tickets. Maybe that day works best for SIL? Does she even know your family does a thing that day? Like I assume she's not evilly plotting to ruin your plans?
I'm not American so maybe I'm missing July 4th significance, but this doesn't seem like a huge deal. I wouldn't want to go to a baseball game with little kids and I don't think I'd be bothered if my kid did a fun thing (baseball game) with my H instead of a fun thing with the family (parade).
It's sort of a big deal here. Something about our gaining independence from Britain back in 1776.
LOL. Like, you're missing why July 4th is a big deal? Oh, Canadians
I get why July 4th is celebrated, (sort of?) but is it like Christmas in that you have Traditions that Must Be Respected or is this just an spk family thing? We have Canada day here and we do something fun as a family but it's like never the same exact thing.
I think like anything else it depends on the family. We usually do the same thing for the 4th. It's not as sacred as Christmas or Thanksgiving to me, but I do appreciate our traditions.
LOL. Like, you're missing why July 4th is a big deal? Oh, Canadians
I get why July 4th is celebrated, (sort of?) but is it like Christmas in that you have Traditions that Must Be Respected or is this just an spk family thing? We have Canada day here and we do something fun as a family but it's like never the same exact thing.
I think it depends on the family. For some there are probably long-standing family traditions (mine wasn't one, but then we also didn't have Christmas traditions really!).
It just made me chuckle because the first year H was here, he went down to the National Mall to watch the fireworks, and was chatting with a family. The mom excitedly asked him what they did to celebrate the 4th...in England. LOL.
Yes. Because she's clearly excluding you and your son for no damned reason. She could sell the four tickets and get 6 together in a different section.
July 4 is one day. Baseball season is months long. She could have picked ANY OTHER DAY.
And I'd be looking at your husband all but daring him to go. I'd be all "Go ahead, leave, spend your July 4 with the people you want to spend it with. Far be it for me to get in your way..." guilt tripping.
Because I'm currently hangry and feisty.
She's not excluding her for no reason. She has four tickets given to her by her firm. I think it would be super shitty of her if she sold those tickets in order to get 6 (or a 5th, since her DS doesn't need a ticket). Not to mention, I'm sure it would be incredibly frowned upon (especially if they're box seats or suite tickets).
I hadn't seen that when I posted.
Regardless, it is shitty to invite half of a family, on July 4, and ditch the other half. She should have asked someone else.
Yes. Because she's clearly excluding you and your son for no damned reason. She could sell the four tickets and get 6 together in a different section.
July 4 is one day. Baseball season is months long. She could have picked ANY OTHER DAY.
And I'd be looking at your husband all but daring him to go. I'd be all "Go ahead, leave, spend your July 4 with the people you want to spend it with. Far be it for me to get in your way..." guilt tripping.
Because I'm currently hangry and feisty.
You are usually not allowed to sell tickets you get from work like that. I don't know how her company does it, of course, but those I know who get this perk are usually on a list of interested people and they might not get a lot of say. Certain games w/ my MIL's work (usually play off, though) if you take them you must use them all or you don't get offered again.
I do agree I'd probably say something similar, and expect him to feel guilty and not go.
Yeah, I hadn't seen that when I posted.
I still think her husband is a dumbass for considering going :-)
Post by ilikedonuts on May 10, 2016 14:07:47 GMT -5
I'm all burn it now about her husband not her SIL. Her SIL may have no idea they do something on the 4th and she only gets 4 tickets so it's not her fault.
Post by somersault72 on May 10, 2016 14:12:48 GMT -5
I would be annoyed for 2 reasons. First of all, it sounds like a tradition you love and this game would throw a wrench in that. Second, I'd be annoyed/hurt that my husband got invited but not me. FWIW I think your DD will be bored at the game, and have a much better time at the carnival. What does your H think?
The 4th is a super big holiday for us. I would be pissed if my husband thought it would be okay to split up for the day, especially to go to one of 80 some home baseball games. If there were enough tickets for everyone and he really wanted to spend a holiday with his family for a change, I'd begrudgingly agree. But a hard no to splitting up the family on a holiday.
This thread has also made me realize we (as in my family) are terrible Americans.
Yup. I already knew that, though. I remember going to nerd camp on the east coast when I was a teenager one summer. There was a big Independence Day celebration, and everyone else knew all the words to Proud to be An American. I didn't even recognize the song lol.
I get why July 4th is celebrated, (sort of?) but is it like Christmas in that you have Traditions that Must Be Respected or is this just an spk family thing? We have Canada day here and we do something fun as a family but it's like never the same exact thing.
Some people do. One of my friends does something similar to the OP. She lives near where the fireworks are set off every year. So she invites everyone she knows to come to her house, eat and drink to their hearts' content while the kids play, then head over to see fireworks. We all pig out on dessert afterward while the teeming masses try to get out of the parking lot. It's been an annual tradition since they moved into the house, and I could see her wondering why her H would agree to do anything else.
But we just show up to her party when we're in town. It's not a must-do for us
Are people mad at the SIL and not the H here? Is it the 4th thing? You have to be with your family that day or else burn it down? Sorry, so Canadian.
This obviously varies by family. We have no set traditions. Sometimes we try to go to the parade/festival in our town. If someone invited DH and DD to a baseball game I think I would be okay with that.
Going to a MLB game seems like a pretty American thing to do. It is not like she invited them to cricket. There is a good chance SIL dos not have much say in when she got the tickets and did not know about the parade tradition. It sounds like DH does not realize the importance of the parade to OP.
I think this all depends on how it was presented. If SIL knew this was a big deal to you then she's a jerk. If H presented it as a question and acknowledged that he knew you might be upset about it, I can't blame him for asking. Would you still enjoy the tradition with your family if your H went to the ball game and both of the kids stayed with you? That's what I'd be inclined to do since you want DD with you. But if H going to the game will ruin your 4th, I guess you kind of have to decide who has has had more family wins lately.
I don't really think it matters how invested any of the rest of us are in our holiday traditions for that day, because it's your tradition. In my family we do fun stuff on the 4th but we renegotiate plans every year so there's no one tradition that we can't break. But we have a tradition of fall colors in Vermont on Columbus Day and I'd be annoyed if someone just ignore that and made a different plan without talking about it. Not because anyone else has to be passionate about Columbus Day, but because it's known that it's OUR tradition.
I wouldn't be bothered that she asked but I'd be super pissed if my husband wanted to do that instead of our family tradition. Holidays for us are typically very carefully split up and traditions are important to both sides of our family.
Are people mad at the SIL and not the H here? Is it the 4th thing? You have to be with your family that day or else burn it down? Sorry, so Canadian.
Yeah I really don't get the "tell her to get more tickets!" or whatever. Huh? Is she supposed to give up her own ticket? Or request more FREE tickets?
I'm also confused about caring whether I am invited to the game because presumably if the parade tradition was important to me I'd decline anyway? IDK, maybe I'm missing something. I mean, I clearly am because if thebreakfastclub is mad about something and I'm not maybe I need to reevaluate.
I'm not actually mad, lol. I don't think the sil has malicious intent.
I'd still go to the parade with the baby and enjoy the day. I just feel like the baseball game with a 3yo is a hot mess, so why mess with what's working. I also feel like the 3yo would enjoy the parade and carnival x100000 more.
Post by cricketwife on May 10, 2016 14:59:09 GMT -5
I stopped reading replies but if I'm understanding, it is your family that has the tradition, not hers? So she's just offering tickets to her brother and niece ? That seems nice. Your H is the one I'd be annoyed with if you have a longstanding family tradition that he is being blade about skipping.