Post by badtzmaru22 on May 10, 2016 15:22:39 GMT -5
Your 3yo is probably taller than 30 inches, correct? I just looked up the rules for how old kids have to be to need a ticket, and apparently at Target field, it's under 30 inches are free.
So, that probably won't help you. I just thought of it because in Cleveland (where we go) it's anyone under age 3- thank goodness because my not even two year old is probably 36 inches- and maybe if your DD was really close to 3, I'd consider just saying she wasn't there yet and you could go too- but a height restriction is a lot more strict. But sounds like you'd rather do the parade anyway.
I missed that the tradition (that you can still all do, except for the carnival) is with your family, not H's. With that knowledge, I think it's fine for you all to do the parade and party in the morning and then your husband and daughter go to the game.
What's more American than a day at the ballpark?
I bet you could find another carnival to go to another time.
I wouldn't be annoyed w/ SIL. She got free tickets, she offered them to her mom brother and nephew. That makes sense to me.
As far as your DH considering it? Eh, I might have a moment of "WHAT?!?!?!" about it but then get over it and tell him it's up to him. Now that we belong to a pool, that's where we spend the 4th w/ a bunch of friends. While I'd RATHER him be there with me, at the same time, it's not the end of the world if he isn't. If he'd like to go to the game - I'd send him on his merry way.
But I also live a life where my DH is at work 2 weeks at a time so there is a lot of stuff that I have to do alone or I won't be doing it at all.
She's not excluding her for no reason. She has four tickets given to her by her firm. I think it would be super shitty of her if she sold those tickets in order to get 6 (or a 5th, since her DS doesn't need a ticket). Not to mention, I'm sure it would be incredibly frowned upon (especially if they're box seats or suite tickets).
I hadn't seen that when I posted.
Regardless, it is shitty to invite half of a family, on July 4, and ditch the other half. She should have asked someone else. I don't
I don't think its bad to invite them. The issue IMO isn't SIL, its H who is refusing to turn them down.
I assume it's a daytime game? Not night? 4th games should be at night for fireworks!
I'd ask if she can exchange for a different day since you have plans already.
3 year olds at bball games are no fun at all. Our stadium has a kick ass kid section that the kids want to spend all their time in, but most stadiums don't have that. Not sure if Target Field has something like that or not. It looks like a nice stadium, I want to visit someday
Post by vanillacourage on May 10, 2016 18:38:16 GMT -5
I wouldn't be mad at SIL. She only got 4 tix. I'd be irritated at your DH if he accepted without talking to you, or isn't hearing you if you are saying you want the family to be together that day.
Two other things: your DS is really, really little and probably requires a lot of stuff for an all-day outing, plus feedings/breaks. I would not tell DH to take him to the game because I feel like that changes the tenor of the event for everyone else. Also, I'd talk to your DH about whether this is his way of admitting he wants to sometimes do something else for the 4th. It's your mom's friend and she feels like family to you, but your DH may not feel the same way and may sometimes want to hang with his family that day.
Are people mad at the SIL and not the H here? Is it the 4th thing? You have to be with your family that day or else burn it down? Sorry, so Canadian.
This obviously varies by family. We have no set traditions. Sometimes we try to go to the parade/festival in our town. If someone invited DH and DD to a baseball game I think I would be okay with that.
Going to a MLB game seems like a pretty American thing to do. It is not like she invited them to cricket. There is a good chance SIL dos not have much say in when she got the tickets and did not know about the parade tradition. It sounds like DH does not realize the importance of the parade to OP.
This obviously varies by family. We have no set traditions. Sometimes we try to go to the parade/festival in our town. If someone invited DH and DD to a baseball game I think I would be okay with that.
Going to a MLB game seems like a pretty American thing to do. It is not like she invited them to cricket. There is a good chance SIL dos not have much say in when she got the tickets and did not know about the parade tradition. It sounds like DH does not realize the importance of the parade to OP.
Sorry, it was the first thing that came into my head. I was trying to think of something popular in other places but not here.
I would be bothered that dh was trying to ruin my family tradition. I wouldn't be upset at my SIL. Why don't you keep both kids and go to the parade? Dh can do whatever he wants to do.
Wow, I can't believe I'm less breezy about this than others. I actually would be pissed at my own SIL if she did this, regardless about whether she knew of my own family's tradition--it's just kind of rude to invite half a nuclear family to a holiday event, whether it's July 4th or Easter.
I don't think it's rude to invite. You never know the other family's plans. Maybe they had zero plans or the OP was going to get a manicure with the baby. You would be more mad if her H stayed home all day with DD and found out later she didn't invite because she assumed they were busy. I think H should say 'we already have plans. Thanks for the invite' I think too often in life, we feel guilty saying no to some special thing we were invited to and we think it's okay to 'hurt' our immediate family. SIL can find someone else - I'm sure.
Wow, I can't believe I'm less breezy about this than others. I actually would be pissed at my own SIL if she did this, regardless about whether she knew of my own family's tradition--it's just kind of rude to invite half a nuclear family to a holiday event, whether it's July 4th or Easter.
i know my situation is somewhat unique, but due to my DHs schedule, he works various holidays thruout the year. Most people don't know exaclty which ones. There have been holidays where I really had wished someone would have invited me and Ds to something! Because otherwise, it ended up just being the 2 of us hanging out at home.
It's an invitation. There is nothing wrong w inviting a part of a family. He can say " no". It's only wrong if his sister gets pissed at him.
I may be in the minority. If it was DD first game I would say no because I'd want to be there. If they are free tickets I'd let them go. I get work tickets which are usually amazing tickets and hard to get.
Wow, I can't believe I'm less breezy about this than others. I actually would be pissed at my own SIL if she did this, regardless about whether she knew of my own family's tradition--it's just kind of rude to invite half a nuclear family to a holiday event, whether it's July 4th or Easter.
I wonder if you and I are bringing the same baggage to this question? As in, "my DH works so much that we have exactly 1 family tradition on 1 holiday and even that is subject to being dashed at a moment's notice if work requires it." So for me at least, I think I would be pissed if someone tried to split up my nuclear family when we get so little time together otherwise.
Eh, with a four month old, I'm still very much in the whole, "we're on this sinking ship together" mode. I'm very protective of the whole family being together, especially when I'm still stuck under an exclusively nursing baby. So maybe that's clouding my response. Because I would be hurt by a SIL inviting my DH and kid only to something that I obviously couldn't as easily enjoy, regardless of the fact that it's a holiday. Also, lol, a three year old is NO fun at a baseball game unless it's a suite with unlimited food. So I think it's a poor option over what sounds like a fun tradition your family has anyway. And I LOVE baseball.
The 4th was never a big deal for my family growing up, but it's a BIG deal for my inlaws, their neighborhood has a huge party. Like, DH has missed it only once in his 37 years, and it's when he was living in Germany. I kinda hope that we can branch out and start doing our own thing over the next few years. Everyone still lives the same area but us and well, I selfishly don't want to travel 100 miles when we have a great parade that literally goes through our neighborhood. The kids have fun at the inlaws party now, but in a few years, I can see them preferring to party with their own neighborhood friends.
The 4th was never a big deal for my family growing up, but it's a BIG deal for my inlaws, their neighborhood has a huge party. Like, DH has missed it only once in his 37 years, and it's when he was living in Germany. I kinda hope that we can branch out and start doing our own thing over the next few years. Everyone still lives the same area but us and well, I selfishly don't want to travel 100 miles when we have a great parade that literally goes through our neighborhood. The kids have fun at the inlaws party now, but in a few years, I can see them preferring to party with their own neighborhood friends.
The bolded is exactly why I'm always wary of "BUT IT'S TRADITION!!!!". Yes, traditions are nice. But there has to be room for flexibility. Because if there isn't, eventually the tradition will start to breed resentment! Traditions should be something people enjoy. once it becomes an obligation, something that people feel they "have" to do to appease everyone else - it kind of loses that 'thing' that made it a tradition in the first place.
I would tell my DH "if all 4 of us can't go to the game, no one is going" and your family still does the parade. You can't split up a family like that.
It's a shame that she couldn't get tickets for everyone, but honestly I don't think splitting up one year is that big of a deal.
Have fun with your family, enjoy a few drinks and eating food while someone else holds the baby. It will be sad to not have your DD, but you have plenty of fun summer times and future parades to enjoy.
If this means a lot to your H, then I would just let him go and have some time with his family on the 4th. It's not ideal, but it's one year. There will plenty of other fourth of Julys where you do exactly what you want to do. It seems like you've gotten to spend the whole day with your family in the past and this is a way to compromise to let him have some time with his on the 4th.
Maybe your SIL thinks that you would prefer to spend the day with your family like you always have.
If it makes you feel any better, I doubt your DD will last the entire game and you will have a more relaxing day eating and drinking than wrangling a 3-year old at a baseball game.
My hormones at that time were so out of whack. I would have lost my shit.
However, the new and improved medicated me would be perturbed. I kinda like spending holidays with my DH. If this was a super awesome team/game, I would be more understanding. That doesn't seem to be the case here.
Wow, I can't believe I'm less breezy about this than others. I actually would be pissed at my own SIL if she did this, regardless about whether she knew of my own family's tradition--it's just kind of rude to invite half a nuclear family to a holiday event, whether it's July 4th or Easter.
I wonder if you and I are bringing the same baggage to this question? As in, "my DH works so much that we have exactly 1 family tradition on 1 holiday and even that is subject to being dashed at a moment's notice if work requires it." So for me at least, I think I would be pissed if someone tried to split up my nuclear family when we get so little time together otherwise.
And my baggage takes me the other way!! And why I really feel that SIL shouldn't be the bad guy here. If everyone lived life with the concept of "Oh- it's all or none w/ nuclear families! I can't even extend an invitation!", then DS and I would be left out of a lot of stuff! And the times DH is there and we do want to be together, then it's on US to say "no" to invitations that would split us up.
I'd much rather people try to be inclusive of us/ part of us and let us decide which way we want to go.
I don't fault SIL for asking,but unless it's the Sox-Yanks and they are otherwise ungettable seats and we get a babysitter so that I can go, H best respond that we already have plans.
Re: splitting up the family or excluding part of the family - it's a baseball game that she got free tickets to. How is that a big deal? It's not like it's a bbq or something non-ticketed.
If this was not a holiday would people really be that pissed about it?
My mil had 2 extra tickets to a phillies game and asked my husband if he wanted to bring one of the girls. I can't even imagine why I would get mad about that.
It's not like it's a bbq or something non-ticketed.
Or offering to buy them tickets w/o extending the offer to the whole family.
But being given a set # of free tickets... chances are she's going to have to split SOMEONE up. This idea that people shouldn't even extend this kind of invitation - I just can't get on board with it.