Would this bug you?

[spk926]

Every year on the 4th of July my whole family (siblings, nieces, nephews, parents) goes to my mom's good friend's house. The friend lives on the parade route and everyone brings food and it's a really fun day. We're in the shade and can watch the biggest parade in the state comfortably. When it's over we walk 3 blocks to the carnival.

SIL got 4 tickets to a MLB game for that day. She wants to bring herself, MIL, DH, and DD. So everyone but me and DS. FIL has passed.

I'm hurt. First because the tradition of the parade can't happen, and second because I'm not invited. I guess she got them through work and they only had 4 so it's not like she chose to only buy 4 but still it hurts none the less.

DH wants to bring DD to the game, and I want to do the parade and carnival. I can go with just DS but DD enjoys it so much and it won't be nearly as much fun for me without her.

[justjen]

Yep.

[raangoli]

Yea I'd miss out on the usual things done on the day.

And I assume she didn't ask you bc of DS?

[speckledfrog]

Yes, it would bother me.

[glitzy07]

Yeah, I would be bothered. But like you, we also have specific traditions for the holiday and you can go see baseball anytime.

[Mrs.flang]

It would bother me.  I get that it may not really be SILs fault or maybe not her first choice, but still...  That sounds like a fun tradition, and 4th of July is pretty much my favorite holiday so I would be sad to not be with the whole family.

[badtzmaru22]

I would be hurt, because my relationship with my ILs has always been crappy, and you bet it would be that they were trying to exclude me on purpose. If you otherwise have no bad blood, I'd still be a little hurt, and think it was weird she didn't ask a friend or someone to go instead of your DH and kid.

[auntie]

It would piss me off.

Did she run this by your DH first?

My guess is that your 3 year old will be bored shitless. If she whines or acts out, it's a natural consequence for thoughtless behavior.

[boiler717]

Yes for sure. Can they go to a game on another day? I'd be bummed about my whole family leaving me alone on a holiday.

[rootbeerfloat]

I like baseball more than parades, so I think I would be disappointed that I wasn't included. But I would probably be fine doing my usual July 4th traditions with my family (who of course I like better than ILs) and just one kid.

[longtimenopost]

Yes! Your H can bring DD to a MLB game any time, but this is once a year. I hope he respects your value for tradition and takes her another time.

[ilikedonuts]

I personally wouldn't care, but my kid would not be going. Family traditions and stuff take priority of a random baseball game.

[spk926]

May 10, 2016 13:28:05 GMT -5 auntie said:

It would piss me off.

Did she run this by your DH first?

My guess is that your 3 year old will be bored shitless. If she whines or acts out, it's a natural consequence for thoughtless behavior.

She is a lawyer at a firm and her firm has season tickets that they can use for clients or family. I'm assuming she either signed up for this day or it was offered to her. She contacted DH this morning asking if he and DD could go. Then he called me to see if it was alright. And that's pretty much where we're at for now.

[ilikedonuts]

Do you live in Boston? I'm trying to think of somewhere that tickets are basically impossible to get.... because if not, she can get other tickets if she wants to go that bad.

[spk926]

May 10, 2016 13:33:41 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

Do you live in Boston? I'm trying to think of somewhere that tickets are basically impossible to get.... because if not, she can get other tickets if she wants to go that bad.

No, The Twin Cities. It's not hard to get tickets to the Twins!

[Kit]

Yes, it would bug me a lot. Especially on a holiday like that...what does your DH expect you to do, sit home alone with DS?

[curbsideprophet]

Can DS go to the game with DH and DD go to the parade with you?

[thebreakfastclub]

I would not be happy. My 3yo would last 15 minutes at a baseball game, but he'd love the parade and carnival, especially with that set up.

My work had 2000 people and you can get corporate MLB tickets pretty easily, and we have a good team. There are so many games.

[cjeanette]

She wants to take your kid over you? That would bug.

She wants to take your H and one of your kids and leave you alone on a holiday? Newp.

Your H said yes to this? I'll help you bury the body.

[VillainV]

Can you and DS still go to your mom's friend's house, hang with friends, and see the parade?

[drloretta]

No, it wouldn't bug me. At least from her perspective, she may figure that your DS is way too young for a baseball game, and you may want to keep him with you if you're nursing. So your MIL, DH, and DD are more "age appropriate" if that makes any sense.

In any case, I would just remind your DH that you have the parade to go to, which your DD loves, and that you'd prefer to do the parade and carnival. Your SIL can find other people to go with her to a baseball game.

[ilikedonuts]

May 10, 2016 13:34:42 GMT -5 spk926 said:

May 10, 2016 13:33:41 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

Do you live in Boston? I'm trying to think of somewhere that tickets are basically impossible to get.... because if not, she can get other tickets if she wants to go that bad.

No, The Twin Cities. It's not hard to get tickets to the Twins!

Yeah then it would be a big old nooooooope from me. 

(I will say that I am biased because we do the exact same thing every 4th of july and if my husband ever suggested something dumb like a baseball game instead i'd be like yeah no you better be joking)

[dancingirl21]

May 10, 2016 13:26:10 GMT -5 @mrswindycity said:

Well, I don't think I'd be mad at SIL. She got tickets and is being nice by offering them IMO. If anything, I might be slightly annoyed at DH for accepting, if the parade tradition was very important to me. As for your DD, you could always ask which thing she prefers to do.

But that said, I honestly don't think I would care about this since your entire family will still be there.

I'm here. I'd be annoyed with DH for accepting knowing that the parade is important to you. But also, since your entire family will be at the parade, I would still go to that and have a good time.

[lala]

Since they're not hard to get and you have a family tradition that day, I'd be annoyed. Are they super amazing box seats? Then maybe. Also it's likely a fireworks games - I'm sure every team is different but Phillies fireworks are really good. My kids would be fine at a game at age 3, provided there are plenty of snacks & ice cream. Is he a huge baseball fan?

[spk926]

lala,no not really. He plays fantasy baseball and follows the sport but he's not a HUGE fan or anything.

I'm just annoyed that now if I say no then I'm the bad guy but if I tell DH to go with DD then it ruins my 4th. I feel like there's no "winner" in this.

DS has to stay with me regardless because he'll only be 4 months and he nurses.

[lala]

Ugh, I hate that feeling of being the bad guy who you are between a rock & a hard place.

[jeaniebueller]

I would be hurt. Also, baseball is boring as hell for a 3 year old. My 6 year old DS was bored in like 5 minutes when we went to a game last year.

[cincodemayo]

I would really want to say no, sorry, we have a tradition that is important to me, and we are going to that instead. If she didn't ask before picking the tickets for a holiday, then she would have to understand.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'd be slightly annoyed. I wouldn't really mind hanging out with just my family and my younger child while DH took the older one to another activity. But if your family was looking forward to spending time with your whole family, I can definitely see being annoyed.

What if just your DH went? I have an almost 3 year old, and there is no way on earth she would sit still for a baseball game. She barely sits still for the length of Daniel Tiger. Even DD1 who was the calmest kid ever at that age would have been bored out of her mind at a baseball game.

[JRo]

Who wants to watch the Twins this year anyway?   

Yes it would bug me because Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. The Twins will play a million games this summer and you can all go as a family sometime that doesn't interfere with your holiday tradition.