Why is online dating so weird?

[nicbreeful]

I never once wrote/responded to this guy.  And apparently he thinks this is a way to get a response?  I dunno.  I'm so worn out from online dating..

Sorry for size.

[sofamonkey]

He's so #breezy

[thedutchgirl]

WTF.

This is what I have to look forward to? I keep thinking I'm not interested in trying online dating, and boy this isn't helping.

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:21:00 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

WTF.

This is what I have to look forward to? I keep thinking I'm not interested in trying online dating, and boy this isn't helping.

Yeeeeaaah..

Don't.

Lol, truthfully though.. The men that I have met in person have all been nice and normal.  You just have to wade through a whole lot of shit to find them.

Hell, that's what my Bad Dating Messages blog was based on.  I just didn't feel like actually updating so I put it here, lol.

[thedutchgirl]

Aug 17, 2016 23:24:37 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Aug 17, 2016 23:21:00 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

WTF.

This is what I have to look forward to? I keep thinking I'm not interested in trying online dating, and boy this isn't helping.

Yeeeeaaah..

Don't.

Lol, truthfully though.. The men that I have met in person have all been nice and normal.  You just have to wade through a whole lot of shit to find them.

Hell, that's what my Bad Dating Messages blog was based on.  I just didn't feel like actually updating so I put it here, lol.

I totally looked at your blog after I posted. Those are some gems. People are so WEIRD.

[flex]

I just want to say I'm gratified to hear that younger women feel the same way I do about online dating. I've had zero luck with it. Even before I met DH--I never met anyone I really liked online. I've had better luck with meeting them in person through friends, etc.

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:26:40 GMT -5 thedutchgirl said:

Aug 17, 2016 23:24:37 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

Yeeeeaaah..

Don't.

Lol, truthfully though.. The men that I have met in person have all been nice and normal.  You just have to wade through a whole lot of shit to find them.

Hell, that's what my Bad Dating Messages blog was based on.  I just didn't feel like actually updating so I put it here, lol.

I totally looked at your blog after I posted. Those are some gems. People are so WEIRD.

Very, VERY weird.

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:26:41 GMT -5 flex said:

I just want to say I'm gratified to hear that younger women feel the same way I do about online dating. I've had zero luck with it. Even before I met DH--I never met anyone I really liked online. I've had better luck with meeting them in person through friends, etc.

Seriously, I am so impressed with the people that have met online. I know there are quite a few here.. I am jealous, lol! And the last wedding I was a bridesmaid at was a POF relationship.

I'm just very unlucky, ha.

[Champagne Supernova]

WHat in the fuck?

If something happens to DH, I think I'll just be a crazy cat lady because of the online dating stories I've read over here and from friends.

[thedutchgirl]

kooshball, oh my god!

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:43:58 GMT -5 Champagne Supernova said:

WHat in the fuck?

If something happens to DH, I think I'll just be a crazy cat lady because of the online dating stories I've read over here and from friends.

 
Replace "cat" with "dog" and that's basically me.

Lol, to be fair.. I'm in a REALLY bad city for dating.  There are 2 straight women for every 1 straight man (according to newspaper sources over the past few years).  And it's NYC.. forget "The City That Never Sleeps" we're actually "The City That Never Settles Down"

I've literally had (female) friends that have moved out of NYC for the sole purpose of finding a boyfriend/fiance/husband and then they move back. 

Still.. Online dating is a minefield, lol!

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:47:56 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I disabled my OK Cupid account. It was too insane. Tinder is getting close too.

I'd be appalled but I love your answer too much!

Also.. Vajayjay?? 

[nicbreeful]

Aug 17, 2016 23:56:22 GMT -5 mp said:

Aug 17, 2016 23:52:12 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

 
Replace "cat" with "dog" and that's basically me.

Lol, to be fair.. I'm in a REALLY bad city for dating.  There are 2 straight women for every 1 straight man (according to newspaper sources over the past few years).  And it's NYC.. forget "The City That Never Sleeps" we're actually "The City That Never Settles Down"

I've literally had (female) friends that have moved out of NYC for the sole purpose of finding a boyfriend/fiance/husband and then they move back. 

Still.. Online dating is a minefield, lol!

LA is the same, but add in perfectly thin and fake reality. Everyone is a model or an actor (ok, not everyone...) but then everyone wants to date the models. Being a real person, in a city full of fake people, makes online dating really obnoxious. Dating in general is hard, but online dating here is exhausting.

Totally agree.. We have that here too.. Though not as rampant as LA (we're more "artistic" oookay) but I know how image obsessed LA is.  It's insane. 

Big cities.. Extremely hard to find the good stuff.

[liverandonions]

I met my husband on Yahoo Personals in 2005 and we've been married 8 years! It can work.

[carrotsmakemefat]

But, but....what about all those super happy people Match.com and Eharmony talk about? Is it all bullshit?

[cuddlyevil]

I am testing out bumble and just got back on pof. I may bail on pof, the guys are having trouble with using proper English in their messages.

[Deleted]

I just feel like it's so much work for like zero results. I'm talking to 1 guy on Bumble that I'd like to meet, but if it doesn't work out I'm going to take a break for a bit. It's either guys who never want to meet or crazies.

I am meeting a woman I've been chatting with on Bumble BFF tonight. More nervous for that than an actual date!

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2016 6:23:45 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

But, but....what about all those super happy people Match.com and Eharmony talk about? Is it all bullshit?

Not necessarily bullshit, but in the end I think it's a numbers game. You'll meet a normal person eventually but there's a lot of shit to get through.

[ifElse]

I am so not looking forward to this. Part of me says "you're not getting any younger, you gotta get back out there." And then the other part of me realizes that I simply don't have the patience or time to wade through the shit.

I think I'm just going to work on my relationship with Netflix and wine for awhile.

[kitkat2613]

It is weird. So many people that don't seem to read my profile and what I'm looking for and message me anyway. I'm looking at you especially, 60+ year old men. And there must be accounts on there for the sole purpose of trolling, since the messages are SO crazy I can't imagine anyone responds to them. I've met a couple who have turned into really good friends, but no actual long term relationship yet.

[lilybug]

Ugh I'm taking a break from it. What pisses me off even more than the outright weirdo creepers are the ones who pretend to be normal for a few messages so you get your hopes up that you found a sane one, and then the reveal the batshit truth.

A few weeks ago there was a shooting downtown here in Austin, and I mentioned it to the guy I'd been texting for a day or so, he just casually said, "Too bad it wasn't at the capitol." Gross, BYE.

Or one who I talked to casually for a day or two then he lets me know he's a nudist and starts inundating me with full frontal naked pics.

How hard is it to just be cool? C'mon, dudes.

[lilybug]

But for the people feeling discouraged in here, I should also say that I've had long-term, sane relationships from online dating. I've met five guys in person, and went on to have actual relationships with 3 of them. The other 2 dates were fine and normal. So it's possible! It's just more fun to talk about the nutters. lol

[verycontrary247]

It's so goddamn weird!

I slept with someone I met on Tinder recently, and afterwards while we're hanging out he starts telling me about how he's happy he has me to sleep with so he can persue a relationship with another girl who doesn't want to have sex yet.

Also that when he "really likes" someone he doesn't want to have sex with them for a while. But there we were, post-coitus, naked.

I just got dressed and left.

[brooke77]

kooshball, I'm legit LOL'ing at Frozen.

One of my girlfriends meets a lot of guys online. They seem pretty normal, but no lasting relationships. She weeds out A TON of weirdos though. It always looked too exhausting for me.

[Deleted]

I met my husband on eHarmony. I never had any weird encounters there. Granted, I haven't been on eHarmony in over four years (after DH and I started dating), but it seems to me at least that the paid sites like Match and eHarmony weed out the crazies for you. A random doucheweasel who's just looking to harass women or get a lay isn't going to pay for a dating site.

[walterismydog]

First, I've said it numerous times, but read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. Most of it rang very true for me.

I had some WEIRD experiences back when I was online dating. VERY WEIRD. I even took two years off from it, only to come back and things were even weirder. I will never, ever go back (thankfully I met someone in person who is magic!).

Here's the final straw:

I met a guy, he was about 45 (I'm 35) and he seemed alright. Kind of man-childish, but I was seriously only looking to get laid (did not let him know that) so he seemed good enough for that. We met, had two beers, he didn't pay (this is not a big deal but it plays into the weirdness later). I drove him home bc he ubered there, and turns out he lived in a basement of a smallish house with SIX OTHER PEOPLE. Lordy. Soooo, even with that, he was still ok enough for a second date, so we planned one for two days later.

The next day, I got a text early in the morning, but I was working and busy and didn't have a chance to reply. I responded a few hours later (before noon) that I was super busy at work but that I would text him later. Got an instant reply but didn't respond to that. Around 4, I texted and said "hey, I'm heading to my second job now, just wanted to quickly respond and let you know I got your text, I'll be in touch tomorrow!" Radio silence.

I figured he was ghosting, as that had become the norm in my online experiences. Didn't hear from him all day the next day (the day we were supposed to meet up) so I just wrote it off. Wasn't that interested anyway.

Two days later, I got a facebook message from him. I NEVER told him my last name and my fb is not searchable by phone number. I'm convinced when I paid, he looked at my credit card. That's the only thing I can think of. Anyway. The message said something like "I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry it didn't work out, you're a great girl" I hesitated to even respond at all, but I had to. So I asked him how he got my facebook info/last name and I said nothing happened, I just never heard from you again. He responded that he thought I ghosted so he deleted my number from him phone. Didn't answer the fb question. OK, holy overreaction deleting me after I was the last one to text anyway. I didn't respond again.

Five days later, I got another fb message from him. This time, it just said "none of this would have been possible without you" and it had a link to a youtube video of him singing some obscure song I talked about on our date. Obviously I didn't respond to this, either. NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT YOU. What the everloving fuck?

[followyourarrow]

There are so many weird guys out there. It's exhausting. I'm currently taking a break because I just don't have the patience for it. With the last guy I looked him up on FB and he made a couple mentions of his wife, so I asked him about it. He said he wasn't married, he just referred to the girl he was dating at the time as his wife. Uhhh huh. Sure. I was out.

[jigsy]

OLD is the WORST! I feel like it used to be a legitamte was to meet people, but now, if someone is single and bored, they get online. And because there are so many people, you need to have instant, ever-present connection.

So Im just going to stay single until I meet someone IRL. Which is fine with me.

[liverandonions]

Aug 18, 2016 10:21:59 GMT -5 kooshball said:

The whole 'I met my h online so it could happen to you!!!' does not work if it was more than two years ago. The online dating world has changed significantly.

I will give you that. I know with all of the new sites especially it's very different-I can tell from all of your stories. But there were weirdos 11 years ago too! One guy wrote me and said "I looked at your profile and we have a lot in common" He was wiccan. I could not find one single thing we had in common except we lived in the same city.

Good luck to all of you! <3

[nicbreeful]

Aug 18, 2016 8:40:16 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

It's so goddamn weird!

OMG.. I would have had to restrain myself from junk punching that dude.  Wtf?