Long bike rides Baths A really good book Spending time with close friends Coming home after a long day and crashing with DH and my cats, especially if a good show is on Traveling Baking Coffee
Travel Trees and bodies of water Kitties MH, most of the time Paychecks Sleep Coffee Funny tv shows An empty dishwasher A fresh shampoo and haircut When the Devils win
waking up slowly after a good nights sleep swimming in an empty pool the sound of the first bottle of beer opening on a friday evening welcome home kisses from the pugs bunches of flowers that I buy myself
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
Baking or cooking with my daughter Curing up on the couch with DH Long hot bubble bath with a glass of wine. Freshly made bed to myself before DH or DD climb in.
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
So this sounds preachy and hippy dippy especially since I've posted about the same thing here in the past...
But I do believe that the little things add up to big things. I know when I'm having an existential crisis - it seems to be once a month recently - if I force myself to revel in the little things, I do actually feel better, and the big things tend to come together.
Having said that, I've also gone through times in my life where "the sound of birds in the morning" did shit and what I really needed was medication/alcohol/(ETA: to change my life)
“With sorrow—for this Court, but more, for the many millions of American women who have today lost a fundamental constitutional protection—we dissent,”
Travel/exploring new places kitty cat cuddles spending the day in my pjs on the couch with H a big mug a green tea starry nights in the middle of nowhere
I find your wording very interesting, because it's exactly the phrase MIL asked DH because we've been married a long time (10+ years) and are leaning towards not having kids (even though at one point we thought we would try for kids). MIL wants very much to be a grandmother and I think our choice was something she could not relate to because her kids made her very happy. I was not around for MIL and DH's conversation, but I understand her question, because children are the center of so many people's lives and they make a lot of people happy, but some of us choose (or end up by circumstance in) a different path. And it's not just kids. Some people want a spouse but have not found someone or find themselves separating from someone and not on the path where they expected to be.
What makes me feel content and fulfilled is knowing that I have the privilege of making choices in my life; that there are still multiple paths I can take (with DH and the cats). Sometimes I feel content waking up with DH and 2 cats on the bed, and sometimes I feel fulfilled waking up in a hotel room alone on an international work trip.
"Mans Search for Meaning" is an interesting book. While the author has a specific definition for him, the text helped me look inward at my "meaning of life."
I've read here that you're going through a lot of stuff. I wish you all the best and that you find that which makes you happy.
Sitting on my couch next to Mr. Insom with my dog in my lap.
Or when my dog lies down next to me and I curl up around him and he's all soft and warm. He only stays that way for a couple of minutes, then he gets sick of me and leaves.
Freshly washed sheets
Delicious meal with friends
That moment when you get totally engrossed in a book
Post by keweenawlove on Oct 14, 2016 7:38:52 GMT -5
Long long run on a crisp fall day Travel and the planning leading up to it Puppies on Instagram Saunas on Lake Superior Hitting an athletic goal Baking cookies Seeing follow-up visits of the kids I work with And these two
Feeding hungry people and hanging out with old lonely people. I'm not sure "happy" is the way to describe the feeling, but it gives me a specific kind of feeling that is simultaneously heartbreaking and joyous.
As for smaller things- when the sunlight floods into my office, when Mr. Wiggles tiptoes into bed and curls up beside my chest and lays his paw on my face, my parents, sister, nieces and nephews, Saturday coffee from my favorite shop, massive libraries, travel, concerts, wrenching with DH, pizza and movie nights, kittens, etc. Hell, sometimes the grocery store makes me happy. I think just being able to wake up and live life makes me kind of giddy sometimes. I went through a long period of depression and financial hardships that lasted for years, so being able to just go work a decent job and come home and live life on my own terms makes me pretty happy.
Things that make me feel joy and like I could only do these things and be happy forever: Learning something new or teaching something to someone else Giving back to others
Things that help me feel balanced/reduce anxiety: exercise quiet time by myself reading social time with friends listening to classical music taking a bath meditation
Things that derive a lot of joy from, but can feel exhausting if I do too much of: listening to live music attending live theater travel writing photography
Post by followyourarrow on Oct 14, 2016 8:54:20 GMT -5
Coaching the archery kids. It's exhausting, but I go home feeling content and happy. Trying a new makeup look. When Arrow squeezes her whole self into my lap. Planning a trip. A drive on country roads.
Baked goods (making and eating them) Coffee Wine Long walks Time with close friends Travel Time with H and our pup Tom Hanks movies Christmas movies All things Christmas, actually (listen to Christmas music year-round) Baths Rain
Helping people is huge for me and always has been. This "feeds" me on a daily basis. Having an a few things in the future that I am looking forward to, whether it is brunch with a friend or having a craft and baking day. Snuggling with the dogs and taking them for long walks.
There are some personality tools around values that you might find helpful to pinpoint what you value most and what you may get the most joy from. I can research some if you want.
Post by imojoebunny on Oct 14, 2016 9:28:12 GMT -5
Beer
My immediate family hanging out together, not doing much, or doing fun things together on vacation
A clean house. We are renovating the basement, and my house has crap everywhere. I am surprised at how unhappy the clutter makes me, not because I care about other's opinions, but because I am happy when everything has a place, and is in it.
My dog. I am not a fan of dogs, but I promised DH we could get one 16 years ago, and we finally got one a year ago. I love this one. I take him with me when I have work to do at rental houses, and he makes it a lot more fun (he doesn't go in the houses). He is very well behaved on trips to Lowes.
Having my friends and their kids up to our cabin. Some end up not liking it, nature isn't their thing, but others are surprised by how much they like it, and come again and again, and enjoy the freedom their kids can have up there, that is not available in the city. It is nice to have a fire, share a meal, stick the kids in bed, and relax, without having to worry about getting home in time for bed, or having wine and having to drive or uber. Also, see above, Cabin is very neat and orderly. Not much stuff. Everything has a place and a process.
Hiking. Never met a hike I didn't like. I love going with friends.
Helping others. I have some regular volunteer gigs that are fine, but I really like just helping friends out who are in a pickle, taking a meal to my elderly neighbor when I "make too much", or leaving something a little special for someone who has had a rough day, week, or month.
This is really good! Over the course of a couple hard years with depression and constantly searching for the perfect combo of drugs to make me "happy" I've been working on being okay with that not happening. Obviously being depressed is an issue, but being happy isn't the opposite of being depressed. I think there is so much emphasis on happiness, when being joyful all the time isn't something that a lot of people can obtain. And that's ok.
Um I just resurfaced from a 9-10 month long depression. And I can't say I did anything to help. It was like I just walked out of a fog I cook, bake, love on my dogs, keep my home clean, surf the internet, and volunteer. That's my contentment for every day life. But, I do love the oatmeal comic nicechicken posted. I've actually sent it to a friend before and said "this is me".
Traveling and exploring new places Working out Binge watching a good show Reading a good book The excitement on my kid's faces when they have new experiences or open presents The beach
Post by irene adler on Oct 14, 2016 10:21:10 GMT -5
Not having to rush.
Working out. Long runs/walks/sewing sessions with something good to listen to. Being outside. Being prepared/prepping things for the week. Helping people feel beautiful by making clothes fit.
Big picture - I've become very happy in the last few years. I think things have fallen into place a bit. I'm in a stable, fun relationship, I have a job that I feel contributes to the greater good, I enjoy my coworkers, I have a lot of people in my life that I enjoy. I've realized my priorities surrounding how I spend my money and largely don't feel stressed out about that anymore - I guess I feel like I have a good balance of having everything I need and still being able to do things I want to do, like travel. Travel makes me happy so having a trip to look forward to helps too.
There are always more things I could want, but I do try to really focus on what I do have and be grateful for it. I am pretty lucky that I get to spend my life doing things with my favorite person, and that if we want to grab a bit to eat or go see a play/sporting event/concert we generally can. So I guess I'd also say eating good food and seeing live performances make me happy!
There are some personality tools around values that you might find helpful to pinpoint what you value most and what you may get the most joy from. I can research some if you want.
That would be awesome. There's a lot of things people have mentioned that I enjoy, but I wouldn't classify as things that "make me happy" which is interesting. I don't even know how I'd answer the question, actually.
Post by followyourarrow on Oct 14, 2016 11:19:27 GMT -5
I think all of us go through periods when the stuff we like to do doesn't make us "happy". And that's ok. It's part of life. I don't try to force happiness, I find that to be futile. I do become more introspective, I'm not sure if that's good or not, but eventually I find my center again and the fog is lifted.