I know some part of him will always love me and I will always love him.[/quote]
No, you won't. I didn't meet my DH until I was 33, and I had had quite a few serious relationships before. I remember thinking at the time of the breakups that I would always care about them or love them. lol Yeah, right. I might still feel a nostalgic fondness for some of them, but I certainly don't love them anymore, even the breakups that were amicable. Honestly, I don't even think about them anymore.
So, after 8 years, 1 conversation with your friend put a total end to your cycle. You never had that conversation with her before huh? I'd bet by the end of day tomorrow you'll disappear from this sight and be his # 1 priority for at least an hour! You wont change until you realize you have a serious mental health issue here. You wont change until you get some help and admit this goes a lot deeper than this. You may call it harsh, but believe me i know what im talking about. You need to get some help or you wont ever have a chance at a healthy relationship.
Post by messykitchen on Sept 16, 2012 12:23:24 GMT -5
This post could of been written by me a decade ago. Desperate to keep some worthless asshole just cuz he sometimes paid attention to me. Dude. Pay attention to YOURSELF. Men come and go. You will always be your own best friend. Buy a vibrator, and tell him to fuck off.
Then, when he realizes OMG you are serious and his little puppet cut the strings, you can tell him to fuck off again.
He doesn't want to talk to you. He doesn't want you to be his girlfriend. You don't matter to him. Get it through your head.
Then why can't he just be a man and tell me this??? I would accept it I have before. I have gotten over him before but he always comes back in a few months and the whole thing starts again. I just want him to be striaght to me and not leave me in the dark.
Or...here's an idea! You get a backbone and stand up for yourself and make your own decisions and tell him, you're sick of all of this BS and you're done. Tada! You can think for yourself and act for yourself, isn't that amazing!
I have plans with my bff today and haven't had to the urge to call. I deleted his number so it wouldn't be easy to just to press one button and dial him (I should have done that shit yesterday). For me usually the first month is the hardest eventually it gets easier. I just try to keep myself busy.
This post could of been written by me a decade ago. Desperate to keep some worthless asshole just cuz he sometimes paid attention to me. Dude. Pay attention to YOURSELF. Men come and go. You will always be your own best friend. Buy a vibrator, and tell him to fuck off.
Then, when he realizes OMG you are serious and his little puppet cut the strings, you can tell him to fuck off again.
Me too. Only I married the asshole. Why are allowing him to have all the control? You are the one in control of your life. Do something with it. Don't keep making these same mistakes and get out of the pattern of being used and dumped and taken advantage of.
I'm usually pretty quiet and non-judgemental. I tend to be a glass half full type of girl. BUT
1. Grow the fuck up 2. Dump this fucking douche bag 3. GROW THE FUCK UP
I don't know your back story at all.. but just by reading your post.. I have to agree with this. And I'm sorry, cuz I don't want to kick you while you're down, but you sound incredibly immature. You sound like my 15 y/o niece. I hope you work on your self esteem and realize that you are and deserve better than this!
Thanks for all the helpful replies. I agree that I need to speed my life up and do all the things I should have many years ago now. Marigoldgirl thank you for the book recommendation The book certainly sounds like my problem. As for the mean ones I didn't particularily find it helpful to my post to doubt as to if I really have a college degree, say that I sound like a 15 y/o (I know I was whiny in some of the posts but that's harsh). So thank you so much for the others that actually gave me that was constructive not bitchy.
Thanks for all the helpful replies. I agree that I need to speed my life up and do all the things I should have many years ago now. Marigoldgirl thank you for the book recommendation The book certainly sounds like my problem. As for the mean ones I didn't particularily find it helpful to my post to doubt as to if I really have a college degree, say that I sound like a 15 y/o (I know I was whiny in some of the posts but that's harsh). So thank you so much for the others that actually gave me that was constructive not bitchy.
Oh, poor baby did we hurt your feelings? Maybe the bitchy is what gave you a wake the fuck up call. You do sound 15 and act like 15. You delusion of what is a healthy normal relationship is proof of that. You acceptance of someone treating you like a 15 year and a doormat also justifies that assumption by us.
And to top it all your response to the post seals the deal. You are very immature and need some serious help...although you keep ignoring that statement. People have said it nicely and not so nicely but you continue to ignore it....just like a 15 year old would.
I do think some of the bitchy was what I needed but some of it was uncalled for. Like some of the posters doubting I was college educated. I think that the internet makes people feel like they can be super harsh becuase it isn't like talking to someone in person. It is also everyone's choice to respond to a post or not so if I make people that exasperated than just don't respond . ;D
I do think some of the bitchy was what I needed but some of it was uncalled for. Like some of the posters doubting I was college educated. I think that the internet makes people feel like they can be super harsh becuase it isn't like talking to someone in person. It is also everyone's choice to respond to a post or not so if I make people that exasperated than just don't respond . ;D
So if we offer you advice, you don't take it and instead do the opposite, but continue to ask for advice we are just supposed to not say anything? 8-D
I do think some of the bitchy was what I needed but some of it was uncalled for. Like some of the posters doubting I was college educated. I think that the internet makes people feel like they can be super harsh becuase it isn't like talking to someone in person. It is also everyone's choice to respond to a post or not so if I make people that exasperated than just don't respond . ;D
So if we offer you advice, you don't take it and instead do the opposite, but continue to ask for advice we are just supposed to not say anything?
I read my original post again I did not ask for advice. I made the post as vent, just because I posted about something that bothers me doesn't mean I want advice it simply means I wanted to get it out (maybe I should have said this is just a vent). I know what I need to do to make my life 100% better. Lord knows everyone in my life has been trying to push me there for many years. I completely understand that I have to WANT to change in order to change.
So if we offer you advice, you don't take it and instead do the opposite, but continue to ask for advice we are just supposed to not say anything?
I read my original post again I did not ask for advice. I made the post as vent, just because I posted about something that bothers me doesn't mean I want advice it simply means I wanted to get it out (maybe I should have said this is just a vent). I know what I need to do to make my life 100% better. Lord knows everyone in my life has been trying to push me there for many years. I completely understand that I have to WANT to change in order to change.
Really? Because you said a few pages back that you've been surrounded by enablers who haven't encouraged you to grow up.
Seriously, you can't expect to post a vent validating what an idiot you are and not expect to get some criticism from those of us who have gone through similar situations.
You could have said "This is just a vent; I do not want advice" in bold size 46 Arial Black font and we would probably still tell you how dumb you were being with this guy.
We are a bunch of women who have been through it. We are all here to support each other no matter how mean we may be at times. I have to say too that I am probably one of the nicest on here. I try to stay away from drama but I had to call it like I saw it in your case because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. You pretty much described my entire on again/off again dating relationship with my ex. Run. Run. Run. He won't change. You will end up divorced if you stay with this guy. Please trust me.
Post by lookingup on Sept 17, 2012 23:16:48 GMT -5
I don't remember if I replied to this thread or not, and I know I'm late to the party, but I'm going to go ahead and add my $0.02.
Why why why in the world are you making decisions (your behavior and your emotions) based on this man who clearly does not give two shits about you? Honestly if I was in his position, I would block your number. He's obviously not emotionally healthy either though if he for some reason feels the need to keep stringing you along.
Like attracts like. No man will respect you until you respect yourself. Dump this dude and love yourself for a while.