I filed an uncontested divorce with an attorney through a divorce mill sort of place for $200, so I assume similar to what you guys are seeing the signs for. I hired them, so they were legally my attorneys and they consulted with me briefly on assets and made a few recommendations on how to divide them fairly. We had no homes or children and basically agreed to each take our own debt and own 401ks, so it was very minimal.
Having them draw up the paperwork and make sure everything was typed up/filed and guide me through the court date was 100% worth the $200. If I had a home or children though I would want my own "real" lawyer.
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
Post by somersault72 on Jan 15, 2018 15:41:19 GMT -5
You know your STBXH best. We did a dissolution with a child, and had no lawyers almost 7 years ago. Neither of us had any issues, but I never worried about my ex taking advantage of me or anything like that. At the very least I think some lawyers have free consultations so you could at least look into it.
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
Are you certain he doesn't have any credit card debt you might not be aware of?
My brother's main reason to encourage me to DIY or do a "divorce mill" type thing is that he said there would likely be a $2k retainer fee that would be ate up before they had even filed the paperwork. Granted he's going through a SUPER messy divorce right now so I'm not sure if his view is skewed. He also thinks that the longer I wait, the more time STBXH will have to think/consult/hear horror stories and I will end up losing a lot more.
If we are truly not contesting anything, is it likely that I would end up paying $2k+?
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
Are you certain he doesn't have any credit card debt you might not be aware of?
I don't think so. A few weeks ago, I saw his Discover FICO report and I recognized all of his accounts. We also have a Mint account that is linked to all of his accounts and I've been monitoring it for weird activity.
My brother's main reason to encourage me to DIY or do a "divorce mill" type thing is that he said there would likely be a $2k retainer fee that would be ate up before they had even filed the paperwork. Granted he's going through a SUPER messy divorce right now so I'm not sure if his view is skewed. He also thinks that the longer I wait, the more time STBXH will have to think/consult/hear horror stories and I will end up losing a lot more.
If we are truly not contesting anything, is it likely that I would end up paying $2k+?
omg PLEASE do not base any of your decisions on your brother’s advice or situation. Call some attorneys and ask. They’ll tell you about their rates and retainers. If you call tomorrow, I bet you’ll be able to have someone secured by the end of the week.
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
I would go to your local courthouse and take a look at the forms. If you don’t feel completely overwhelmed just do it yourself. I would hire an attorney to prepare the deed and make sure you have language in your divorce agreement about when he has to refinance by and what will happen if for whatever reason he can not refinance. You could always just consult with an attorney to make sure there is nothing you are overlooking.
Post by compassrose on Jan 15, 2018 16:17:02 GMT -5
We hired an attorney who was a mediator, who helped us come to decisions about how to split everything and prepared the paperwork. It was completely amicable and worked well for us.
We hired an attorney who was a mediator, who helped us come to decisions about how to split everything and prepared the paperwork. It was completely amicable and worked well for us.
You have a house, retirement account, and inheritance to protect and you’re really considering DIY? I understand not wanting to pay legal fees, but it seems like you’re risking a lot to save a little. Call some lawyers today and get an idea of fees. If you’ve already agreed to the asset split, the legal fees should be modest. A small price to pay for peace of mind.
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
Can you temporarily move the inheritance, at least, to an account in your mom's name or something? i would be very scared that he some how finds or his lawyer does and they go after it. Protect your assets and I would definitely use an attorney if for nothing else other than guidance. if you don't want it to get messy, do mediation. Better safe than sorry.
There are so many times people start out saying, we want to keep things civil and nice and then friends and family start chiming in and the other person suddenly goes after the person.
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it) and I also have a separate savings account that I've kept my inheritance in. Really, I'm the only one with things to lose. That's part of why I just want to sign the house over to him. What I would gain from the sale of the house is negligible compared to what I could lose.
Can you temporarily move the inheritance, at least, to an account in your mom's name or something? i would be very scared that he some how finds or his lawyer does and they go after it. Protect your assets and I would definitely use an attorney if for nothing else other than guidance. if you don't want it to get messy, do mediation. Better safe than sorry.
There are so many times people start out saying, we want to keep things civil and nice and then friends and family start chiming in and the other person suddenly goes after the person.
Depending on your state, that may not be wise. At this point, assets would be protected if in a prenup agreement. My exSIL tried to hide assets (using joint money to buy saving bonds in her and her mom's name; they were found - by my brother's attorney). Here, whatever assets you gain during the course of your marriage is considered joint marital property. Trying to 'hide' assets could turn something simple into a big mess. I can't tell you how many people I've seen think that their retirement accounts belong solely to themselves (as in your situation) but it's considered marital property nonetheless (again, that could be state dependent). It sounds like you have too much to lose by NOT getting an attorney. You soon to be exH could be trying to pull a fast one - especially if he has no personal assets but you do. Our prenup was written such that assets gained during the marriage (either salary, inheritance, investments, retirement, etc) do NOT become marital property. My attorney wrote my brother's prenup the same way for his second marriage. If you don't have a prenup, absolutely get one. This is not a DIY situation, IMO.
And the second bolded is another reason to get one.
I used an online lawyer someone here recommended to me (thank you!!) for an uncontested divorce. It was easy peasy
But...
My "I agree to a uncontested divorce/let's just get this over with" ex husband fought me on everything and tried to withhold signing for demands (lol for days) and because of that it took almost 2 years. When it could have been wrapped up in 4 months.
Because of that experience, I would now always recommend an actual lawyer you can sit down with and represent only you
I wouldn’t do one of those cheap places, generally they have bad forms and advice. Is there any retirement accounts that have to be divided? You would need to hire an accountant to create an order so those can be divided, but you don’t have to have an attorney. Your local court should have the forms. Review them and then decide if you are up for the task of doing it yourselves.
I'm the only one with a retirement account (I didn't use joint assets to fund it)
Unless you have a prenup, or unless every penny was put into that account before marriage, this may not be true.
Divorce law differs state by state. Don't ask a national message board for advice on what to do. Except a blanket 'get a lawyer' we won't be able to give you meaningful information that relates to your specific situation and state.
Your inheritance might be separate property anyway. If you have not mixed it with marital funds. Get your own lawyer.
Here, unless it's specified in a prenup, any inheritances received during the marriage is considered a joint asset.
Going forward, you might also want to consider putting any asset (such as a house) in an estate in just your name. You would then be protected from a future SO from being able to get half. Well, again, that's how it works here. Even if we didn't have a prenup, my H would not be able to claim half of the house since it was titled in my estate's name.
Your inheritance might be separate property anyway. If you have not mixed it with marital funds. Get your own lawyer.
Here, unless it's specified in a prenup, any inheritances received during the marriage is considered a joint asset.
Going forward, you might also want to consider putting any asset (such as a house) in an estate in just your name. You would then be protected from a future SO from being able to get half. Well, again, that's how it works here. Even if we didn't have a prenup, my H would not be able to claim half of the house since it was titled in my estate's name.
No, any inheritances received during marriage is individual property and not a joint asset.
In my state, property in my name was still considered a joint asset and he was subject to the *gains* during marriage. Not half total.
]No, any inheritances received during marriage is individual property and not a joint asset.
In my state, property in my name was still considered a joint asset and he was subject to the *gains* during marriage. Not half total.
That isn't dependent on state? That's not what I was advised by my attorney when drawing up the prenup. Both my H and I knew we'd have some sort of inheritance and it was written into our prenup to preclude any inheritances.
ETA: Above is perfect reason as to why you should have an attorney, steph96 . Lol. Second ETA: The property isn't in my name; it's in my private estate's name which protects it from being spousal property. If were just in my name alone, it would be considered joint property.
When I divorced my first husband it was uncontested. It cost us $150, and three months later it was done. In our case, we sold our house, but I would assume that the process would be similar if one person is keeping the house, it's essentially buying the other person out with a new mortgage and all that. I would probably get a real estate attorney to handle that transaction. Good luck.
Post by nicbreeful on Jan 15, 2018 19:43:41 GMT -5
Wasn't there someone on this board whose husband really pushed for a lawyer-less divorce and then in the end really tried screwing her over? She had a lot more than he did, too, I believe.
Post by nextbigthing on Jan 15, 2018 20:21:35 GMT -5
Question. Why are you signing the house over?
Just don't walk away with less than what you are due.
I say this as someone who took XH to.the.cleaners. To the point that later his lawyer told mine that he did a bad job representing XH. I filed at a very weak moment for him (alcoholic) and got him to agree to about 1/4th of what he could have taken based on us being in a community property state.
You need your own lawyer and don't take less than you are due per the laws. Do not share a lawyer.
Good luck! If I can ever help pm me. I hate that divorce/custody is actually a subject I can help with but here we are.
Eta: just saw your post about house, 401k and inheritance. PLEASE get a lawyer. This could get very ugly very fast. I had all of the money too so I get it.
Post by ciescalove on Jan 15, 2018 20:30:01 GMT -5
Just be careful whatever you choose. I was going to have an uncontested divorce... until I found out my ex went behind my back and hired a lawyer with every intention of trying to screw me over despite all the talk of amicability.
I did not use a lawyer. We finalized 4.5 years ago and I have no regrets. It saved us a ton of money and I actually think I ended up better off because of it - he probably could have come after my retirement, since he had none of his own, but since he didn't get any legal advice he didn't know to bother (or wasn't convinced he should care).
That said, we sold our house during the 90 day waiting period so by the time we finalized, we had no joint assets or debts. I am not sure that I would have gone the "no lawyer" route if we had joint for either - I would not have trusted him to do the right thing and I wouldn't have necessarily trusted myself to do the paperwork correctly.
My state had all the paperwork online. I think I literally googled "divorce in Iowa" and maybe my county, and the information and paperwork was all readily available. The paperwork looked daunting, but was actually pretty easy (there were many, many pages of instructions, many of which were not relevant to me, so once I actually sat down and read things it was pretty straightforward).
I think it cost something like $75 to file and $125 to finalize, or something in that ballpark, so it was very cheap to do it this way. We also had to attend a class (once) and I can't even really remember what it was regarding - i think it was just advice on how to do this, they didn't try to convince us to stay married or anything. I want to say we had to each pay $25 or something like that for the class?
I would not advise you either way on whether or not it's a good idea, but it's something you certainly can consider.
Another option is mediation. I don't recall the specifics about it but I know they can help you draw up papers and such and if you are in agreement mediation may be all you need.
I did not read all of the replies but XH and I had a lawyer mediate for us- she drew up the paperwork, we both reviewed it, when we agreed we signed. Our divorce cost less than $300. It was very simple!