Post by penguingrrl on Feb 14, 2018 16:47:00 GMT -5
My daughters are 10.5 and 8.5 and definitely don’t want to shower or put on deodorant. It’s not optional and they eventually give in, but it’s coming from me, not from their own desire to look and smell clean yet. I assume it will eventually kick in, or at least we’ve trained them that td necessary even if they don’t like it.
My son is fastidious and insists on showering daily. He’s also the only one of the three that has a clean bedroom without it involving screaming. He’s naturally neat and clean, neither girl is naturally.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Feb 14, 2018 16:54:57 GMT -5
I don’t care if you have to force them or bathe them yourselves or lock them in the house until they take care of it. FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO SHOWER. THINK OF THE TEACHERS. MY CLASSROOM SMELLS LIKE THE DUMPSTER BEHIND A CHIPOTLE IF YOU DON’T.
You're the parent. You tell the child what to do. You tell the child to bathe.
The child has no choice in this matter.
I don't understand what more there is to discuss.
My question was "when will I have to stop telling her to do these things". My child has never had a choice in the matter, but I mean, at some point we all do these things by choice, because we care about personal hygiene, right? I was hoping by age 12, that would be the case. Apparently not.
ETA: unless you're not directing this to the OP, but to the tangent posts, in which case, I agree.
You're the parent. You tell the child what to do. You tell the child to bathe.
The child has no choice in this matter.
I don't understand what more there is to discuss.
My question was "when will I have to stop telling her to do these things". My child has never had a choice in the matter, but I mean, at some point we all do these things by choice, because we care about personal hygiene, right? I was hoping by age 12, that would be the case. Apparently not.
ETA: unless you're not directing this to the OP, but to the tangent posts, in which case, I agree.
OMG, Sally Sensitive, this isn't directed toward you.
I don’t care if you have to force them or bathe them yourselves or lock them in the house until they take care of it. FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO SHOWER. THINK OF THE TEACHERS. MY CLASSROOM SMELLS LIKE THE DUMPSTER BEHIND A CHIPOTLE IF YOU DON’T.
That is so true. And it makes us teachers wonder wtf a parent doesn’t make a kid bathe. WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR KID TO BE THE GROSS STINKY ONE?!
Peanut butter and jelly for dinner? Fine. Smelling like a two day old dirty diaper—that’s a hill id definitely die on.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
My question was "when will I have to stop telling her to do these things". My child has never had a choice in the matter, but I mean, at some point we all do these things by choice, because we care about personal hygiene, right? I was hoping by age 12, that would be the case. Apparently not.
ETA: unless you're not directing this to the OP, but to the tangent posts, in which case, I agree.
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING YOU WILL HAVE TO REPEAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
I bet my mom wonders when she'll have to stop telling me to fix my posture.
My mom has been telling me to call my grandmother more often for 20 years.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
This is so confusing to me. I'd stay in the shower or bathtub all day if possible. So warm! Relaxing! Yummy smelling soaps and stuff.
My almost 7YO boy fights me daily over taking a shower but he still loooooves baths. He spent over 2 hours in the bathtub one weekend recently. Once he's in the shower, he takes a year and a day in there, too, it's just a struggle to get him motivated. I dread the Axe body spray phase.
I.... um... this might have been a dealbreaker for me. No snark.
to be fair, we were young and stupid and in loooooove.
Now, as a mature, wizened, educated, fully formed adult woman if I just met him? No thank you very much. Hard pass.
You said you still have to remind him to shower and shave. I'm telling you that right now, short of a serious injury or illness, if I had to remind my grown husband to shower on a consistent basis? I would leave him.
We have 3 kids. I don't have time or energy to tell a 4th , FULLY GROWN human being how not to stink.
to be fair, we were young and stupid and in loooooove.
Now, as a mature, wizened, educated, fully formed adult woman if I just met him? No thank you very much. Hard pass.
You said you still have to remind him to shower and shave. I'm telling you that right now, short of a serious injury or illness, if I had to remind my grown husband to shower on a consistent basis? I would leave him.
We have 3 kids. I don't have time or energy to tell a 4th , FULLY GROWN human being how not to stink.
But, more importantly, why does he not want to not stink? Like this not showering business is the height of laziness. If you’re efficient, and a man who presumably has less hair, you can legit shower in two minutes or less. Is it really that much of a burden that someone has to nag you to do it?
You said you still have to remind him to shower and shave. I'm telling you that right now, short of a serious injury or illness, if I had to remind my grown husband to shower on a consistent basis? I would leave him.
We have 3 kids. I don't have time or energy to tell a 4th , FULLY GROWN human being how not to stink.
But, more importantly, why does he not want to not stink? Like this not showering business is the height of laziness. If you’re efficient, and a man who presumably has less hair, you can legit shower in two minutes or less. Is it really that much of a burden that someone has to nag you to do it?
Exactly. This tells me he is a man child who can't function on his own
I don’t care if you have to force them or bathe them yourselves or lock them in the house until they take care of it. FORCE YOUR CHILDREN TO SHOWER. THINK OF THE TEACHERS. MY CLASSROOM SMELLS LIKE THE DUMPSTER BEHIND A CHIPOTLE IF YOU DON’T.
That is so true. And it makes us teachers wonder wtf a parent doesn’t make a kid bathe. WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR KID TO BE THE GROSS STINKY ONE?!
Peanut butter and jelly for dinner? Fine. Smelling like a two day old dirty diaper—that’s a hill id definitely die on.
The amount of stink 8 and 9 year old kids, but especially boys, can produce on a sunny day after outside recess is horrifying. It is a specific smell and it isn't good.
When my 17 year old was 8-9 years old, I used to make him lather up his hair with shampoo while in the shower, and stick his head out of the shower to show me the soap.
Otherwise, he'd kind of smear on the soap, while standing under the shower, and not really get clean. His hair would look greasy, if he didn't wash it daily.
I think he was about 16 before he really started to care about his appearance/hair/clothing.
That is so true. And it makes us teachers wonder wtf a parent doesn’t make a kid bathe. WHY DO YOU WANT YOUR KID TO BE THE GROSS STINKY ONE?!
Peanut butter and jelly for dinner? Fine. Smelling like a two day old dirty diaper—that’s a hill id definitely die on.
The amount of stink 8 and 9 year old kids, but especially boys, can produce on a sunny day after outside recess is horrifying. It is a specific smell and it isn't good.
I just sat next to a 20ish year old man on a 4 hour flight. He smelled so bad I breathed through my hair most of the way. Make your damn kids bathe so they don’t grow up to be that guy.
I hope your friend is saving for the hefty dental bills that are headed her way.
The kid has already had a bunch of cavities. She sees that as a natural consequence situation. (That’s what she responded when I commented on how disgusting it is. She agrees it’s gross but says its his choice. I don’t get it. She has great dental insurance through her teachers union so no cost to her I guess.
"Natural consequence?" This lady sounds like a total idiot.
You're the parent. You tell the child what to do. You tell the child to bathe.
The child has no choice in this matter.
I don't understand what more there is to discuss.
My question was "when will I have to stop telling her to do these things". My child has never had a choice in the matter, but I mean, at some point we all do these things by choice, because we care about personal hygiene, right? I was hoping by age 12, that would be the case. Apparently not.
ETA: unless you're not directing this to the OP, but to the tangent posts, in which case, I agree.
.in my memory, my parents stopped telling me to shower, and do other hygiene tasks and I just did it as my morning routine every single day around 5th grade. I'm surprised that some of these kids are so old and need so much hand holding still.
Now. Reminding me to stop mouthing off, do my homework, fix my face etc..They still have to do it daily. But basic hygiene. No.
The kid has already had a bunch of cavities. She sees that as a natural consequence situation. (That’s what she responded when I commented on how disgusting it is. She agrees it’s gross but says its his choice. I don’t get it. She has great dental insurance through her teachers union so no cost to her I guess.
"Natural consequence?" This lady sounds like a total idiot.
There are plenty of things I’ll let my kid experience natural consequences from to learn. Her teeth rotting out of her head and me paying huge dental bills as a result: NOT on that list.
The amount of stink 8 and 9 year old kids, but especially boys, can produce on a sunny day after outside recess is horrifying. It is a specific smell and it isn't good.
We call it wet dog smell
One of the underestimated smells children can produce is the winter gear smell. We have to wash everything weekly just because of the funk alone.
The kid has already had a bunch of cavities. She sees that as a natural consequence situation. (That’s what she responded when I commented on how disgusting it is. She agrees it’s gross but says its his choice. I don’t get it. She has great dental insurance through her teachers union so no cost to her I guess.
"Natural consequence?" This lady sounds like a total idiot.
"Natural consequences" are more like, if you don't get your ass out of bed when the alarm clock goes off, you're late to school and get detention. NOT CAVITIES. NOT RUINING HIS TEETH.
I have to beg my husband to GET OUT of the shower. Motherfucker will spend like 45 minutes in there. We’re late for EVERYTHING.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is why my husband doesn't shower all the time. He showers every other day and spends 45 minutes in there. It is a huge process for him. Which is why he only does it every other day because it is a fucking hour of his time each time he does it.
I am sure people will think I am gross and nasty and nose blind but a shower every other day is fine for the most part. If he stinks in between I tell him to shower. Yes, he is lazy AF and should want to shower without being told to if he smells. We are fully in agreement there. But I am not going to leave my partner of 18 years because of this.
I have to beg my husband to GET OUT of the shower. Motherfucker will spend like 45 minutes in there. We’re late for EVERYTHING.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is why my husband doesn't shower all the time. He showers every other day and spends 45 minutes in there. It is a huge process for him. Which is why he only does it every other day because it is a fucking hour of his time each time he does it.
I am sure people will think I am gross and nasty and nose blind but a shower every other day is fine for the most part. If he stinks in between I tell him to shower. Yes, he is lazy AF and should want to shower without being told to if he smells. We are fully in agreement there. But I am not going to leave my partner of 18 years because of this.
Shauni, I’ve lost count of the reasons I should DTMF. And you know how happy my marriage is lol.
Post by CheeringCharm on Feb 15, 2018 10:07:46 GMT -5
Nightly showers are just part of the daily routine in our house. Sometimes they'll give us a hard time about it but it's non negotiable. My husband also plays catch/monkey in the middle with them right before bed so if they want to play, they have to take a shower, brush their teeth, and put on their pjs. No ifs ands or buts.
I have to beg my husband to GET OUT of the shower. Motherfucker will spend like 45 minutes in there. We’re late for EVERYTHING.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is why my husband doesn't shower all the time. He showers every other day and spends 45 minutes in there. It is a huge process for him. Which is why he only does it every other day because it is a fucking hour of his time each time he does it.
I am sure people will think I am gross and nasty and nose blind but a shower every other day is fine for the most part. If he stinks in between I tell him to shower. Yes, he is lazy AF and should want to shower without being told to if he smells. We are fully in agreement there. But I am not going to leave my partner of 18 years because of this.
I can understand wanting to stay in the shower for 45 minutes but no one *needs* to be in there for 45 minutes. Wash your hair, wash your body, wash your face, shave if you want to; this does not take 45 minutes.
I SWEAR TO GOD this is why my husband doesn't shower all the time. He showers every other day and spends 45 minutes in there. It is a huge process for him. Which is why he only does it every other day because it is a fucking hour of his time each time he does it.
I am sure people will think I am gross and nasty and nose blind but a shower every other day is fine for the most part. If he stinks in between I tell him to shower. Yes, he is lazy AF and should want to shower without being told to if he smells. We are fully in agreement there. But I am not going to leave my partner of 18 years because of this.
I can understand wanting to stay in the shower for 45 minutes but no one *needs* to be in there for 45 minutes. Wash your hair, wash your body, wash your face, shave if you want to; this does not take 45 minutes.
I've never hated anything so much that I've done it for 45 minutes.
I'm just praying my son continues his love of baths (or showers.) He's only five right now, but he gets them regularly and sometimes we throw an extra one in for fun. Baths have always been an attitude reset for him. If he's just completely losing it, I send him in for a bath, enjoy the time to myself, and he comes out all happy.
I personally don't really enjoy showers and baths are not relaxing, but I dislike being dirty even more so I still do it. For me it's a chore, but moreso it's the transition and many times (especially with baths) I itch after I get out and that sucks. Every so often for a few days or weeks at a time I feel the need to claw my skin off after showering. I haven't been able to figure out why, but it's miserable.
My DS went from loving the bath to being a total hosebeast about a month ago. It's miserable to bathe him, but he still gets a damn bath. I just cut his hair shorter and let him scream. That's the natural consequence in my household.
When my H stops bathing daily without reminders, I shame him. It only happens when he's off his regular schedule or depressed (the first often triggers the second). He would also shame me if I didn't. I cannot relate to those new mom memes where it's saying "I haven't showered in 4 days." That would make whatever baby blues or PPD I had worse. I need my shower to feel human. I scrubbed extra hard after reading this thread
I never understood the not showering as a new mom either. And I did have PPD. Put the baby in a bouncer in the bathroom with you and lather up. OR wait for your SO to get home. (I do understand that for some with depression, the showering thing can fall by the way side, but it seems like ALL moms say this. )
I can't decide if this really happens this much, new moms just feel like saying this because it is like a badge showing how much you are doing all day with your baby or they feel they cannot leave the baby in a bouncer or something other safe thing while they hop in the shower.