unreasonable daycare dietary restrictions?

[scm1011]

So we got a notice today that a child is starting in DS' toddler class next week that has extreme food allergies. We were given the following list of foods no longer allowed:

nuts
eggs
seeds (sunflower, sesame, pumpkin, flax)
legumes (peas, lentils, chickpeas, hummus, beans)
shellfish/crustaceans 
coconut
avocado 

This list pretty much encompasses all the healthy foods my kids eats, and I send to daycare, on a daily basis (beans, lentils, peas, avocado, hummus, eggs). Nuts and eggs I can understand and get behind, but the only things I regulary send/my kid will eat that's not on the list are fruit and cheese. I'm really at a loss about how to send my kid healthy meals going forward. Does this seem incredibly unreasonable, or is it just me?

[sju1982]

My kid eats a grilled cheese or pasta salad, fruit, and yogurt with granola every day. If we’re running behind, we send in a mac n cheese cup and fruit cup. This would not impact us. Could you try similar items?

[Deleted]

Toddlers are generally too young to trust to not take other kid’s food so I do think if a kid has extreme allergies those foods shouldn’t be in the room.

I’d focus on making the other two meals at home as healthy as you can and pack what you can for lunch. All diary, fruits, and meats seem to be okay.

[starburst604]

Do your kids have breakfast at home? If so can you do the eggs and nuts/nut butters at breakfast, and the other stuff on the list save for dinners and weekends?
This list wouldn’t impact us much - my kid is allergic to eggs/peanut/tree nut, and I’m happy to save avocado and legumes for meals at home. I’d find restricting wheat and dairy much more challenging.

[sandandsea]

I think this is extreme. One thing I love about our new daycare is that they allow the allergen foods. The break the kids out at different tables for lunch and the kids with allergies sit together at a “safe” table without limiting what the other kids can eat.

[starburst604]

Also I need to know, are you feeding your kids crustaceans at school? Lol

[kath16]

I mean.. the other option is that this kid has an anaphylactic reaction so I would go ahead and follow the guidelines.

Turkey and cheese roll ups
Pasta salads
Raviolis
Chicken nuggets
Fruits
Quesadillas

[minniemouse]

That’s a lot, although to be honest the only thing my kids really eat off that list is peanut butter. Oh, and sugared almonds at Disney World. 😂
Maybe bagel with cream cheese? Or a bento style box with fruit, cheese, crackers?

[luckyno7]

Mar 16, 2018 20:14:00 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

I think this is extreme. One thing I love about our new daycare is that they allow the allergen foods. The break the kids out at different tables for lunch and the kids with allergies sit together at a “safe” table without limiting what the other kids can eat.

As a parent of a child who has an anaphylactic reaction to peanut butter I do not find this extreme. You can’t trust toddlers and food. If my daycare did this I would personally choose to leave. My son has a reaction if he even touches peanut butter. I wouldn’t trust a toddler to not get especially peanut butter in their hair or completely wiped off their face and hands, Especially if the teacher/child radio is 1:10 like our center is.

[icedcoffee]

Mar 16, 2018 20:14:07 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Also I need to know, are you feeding your kids crustaceans at school? Lol

I send leftovers from dinner for lunch and it has from time to time been shrimp or crabmeat so I think it's totally possible. #fancytoddler

[minniemouse]

Mar 16, 2018 21:03:09 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Mar 16, 2018 20:14:00 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

I think this is extreme. One thing I love about our new daycare is that they allow the allergen foods. The break the kids out at different tables for lunch and the kids with allergies sit together at a “safe” table without limiting what the other kids can eat.

Okay, but some kids can’t even have trace amounts present. What about the kid that isn’t allergic to nuts but is allergic to beans?

I’ve wondered the same thing about my kids elementary school. They have this set up. No peanuts or tree nuts are allowed in the classrooms but it’s fine in the cafeteria...makes no sense to me at all.

[imojoebunny]

I wish they would, also, send out meal suggestions/brands/packaged goods that are safe, when they send the "no things"

This list is not a problem for me, except Sesame, which is in oh so many things, especially prepackaged goods where people may not even be aware that is an ingredient.

It is hard for the parent with the allergy child, but they know a lot more about what is safe for their child. I find it much easier, and I am more confident in my care of their kids, when the parents are direct with the exact brand/food/meal that is safe for their kid.

[icedcoffee]

That's a lot but I think once you're doing it you'll find lots of good options.

[nicolewi]

That's a lot, but there's no other option if the kid has severe allergies. This must be terrifying for the allergy kid's parents. I mean, we have tried to read labels and be really good about things in the past for kids with allergies, but that's a lot to check for, consistently, and I am willing to bet there will be mistakes made by other parents. Sesame, for example, is tough. You really have to read labels. Even eggs are in a lot of things when you think about it. Can you send eggs that are baked into things?

[ECB]

Is it a lot? Yes. But this is a child’s life we’re talking about. My child has celiac. I don’t have to worry about anaphylaxis. But seeing a child have a reaction once ... yeah. I get it and I’d abide by the list.

Having had to adjust for my own child, once you adjust, it’s not a big deal. Put yourself in the position of that parent for a moment.

[ECB]

To add - what are these parents supposed to do? They need a village right now. Their child can’t advocate for themselves. They will eventually. But toddlers can’t.

Be a part of their village.

[readyin07]

Like others said, is it a lot? Sure it is! But imagine if any of those foods could literally kill your child instead of just giving them one less than ideally healthy meal. I do think it would be acceptable to ask daycare and the maybe even the child’s parents for ideas. I am sure they provide their child with a healthy diet. I get it. My kid only would eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch as a main item when he was in the three year old room. If he had a nut free class I would have just added another fruit/veggie/yogurt side.

[sunflower17]

I agree that it’s a lot and it sucks, but what can you do? This poor kid and parents having to make sure everyplace accommodates him/her because it’s a huge safety issue. I’m sure the parents are grateful that the daycare is going to such lengths to make sure their kid is safe. I’d be having a heart attack every time I left my kid somewhere if they had such severe allergies like that.

[sillygoosegirl]

I've never heard of "seeds" as an allergen category before. People eat seeds from a ton of very different kinds of plants. Seeds from what families of plants, or from all plants? Does this include grains, strawberries, cucumbers, quinoa, etc?

[y4m]

Mar 17, 2018 0:29:53 GMT -5 sillygoosegirl said:

I've never heard of "seeds" as an allergen category before. People eat seeds from a ton of very different kinds of plants. Seeds from what families of plants, or from all plants? Does this include grains, strawberries, cucumbers, quinoa, etc?

Sesame allergy is the most common outside of the top 8 you usually hear about. And there is evidence that the seeds we typically think of (sunflower, sesame, mustard) share similar protein structures and so theoretically can cross react, but it hasn’t been well studied.

It sounds like this family is taking the most restrictive possible path (eg counting coconut as a seed and extending peanut to all legumes—both of which are fair categorizations based on my knowledge, but definitely on the conservative side). Maybe they have reason to do so, or maybe they are just scared and extra cautious.

Regardless, you have to respect this.

[ECB]

As far as “what to send”, ask. Ask the daycare to ask the parents what kind of meals they make. When i tell people about DsS restrictions, i never presume to tell them examples of what he can eat. But if they ask, I’m more than happy to say “here’s what is safe”.

[scm1011]

Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.

I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.

I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.

[icedcoffee]

Don't be afraid to send things you think your DS won't eat. In my experience, DS eats way more at daycare than at home. Peer pressure is a crazy thing. Sometimes he won't touch what I serve for dinner so I pack it up and send it for lunch and that container comes home empty!

[ECB]

Mar 17, 2018 5:52:03 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.

I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.

I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.

the child will function in public school because theyll be older and able to advocate for themselves. Ds is 9 and is his own best advocate. But in preschool? I had to be his advocate and had to ask for help from his teachers.

[starburst604]

Mar 17, 2018 6:29:52 GMT -5 ECB said:

Mar 17, 2018 5:52:03 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.

I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.

I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.

the child will function in public school because theyll be older and able to advocate for themselves. Ds is 9 and is his own best advocate. But in preschool? I had to be his advocate and had to ask for help from his teachers.

This exactly. Even at almost 3, my daughter is very versed in “no eggs, no nuts” and even her friends in her class know. She knows not to take food from others ever, without asking an adult (her parents, teachers, or others who know her allergies) if it’s ok. Fortunately her daycare is nut free, and very few of the foods they serve there contain egg as an ingredient. Choosing a school that provides all the food turned out to be a godsend for us. Much smaller chance of her accidentally having something she shouldn’t.

[fancynewbeesly]

My daughter had a sesame seed which was a pain in the ass. Luckily she outgrew all of her allergies (peanut, egg, tree nuts and sesame seed). Out of all the allergies to worry about the seed one was the worst. It doesn’t have to be labeled and was in EVERYTHING.

We discovered her seed allergy when she was 1 and eating hummus and broke out in hives.

For a toddler room I would be SO thankful for that list to avoid because so many times they wander and grab food that isn’t theirs. Or touch toys before hands are washed, etc.

By the time she was in pre k, she took control of her allergies and knew never to touch other foods. She also outgrew some of her allergies and was only left with eggs and peanuts.

[starburst604]

Mar 16, 2018 21:10:36 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Mar 16, 2018 20:14:07 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Also I need to know, are you feeding your kids crustaceans at school? Lol

I send leftovers from dinner for lunch and it has from time to time been shrimp or crabmeat so I think it's totally possible. #fancytoddler

Fair enough. I was picturing a plate of oyster shooters and some hot sauce lol.

[thebreakfastclub]

If there was another daycare nearby that provided food, I'd switch. Sending daycare food is too much for me.

[ECB]

Mar 17, 2018 6:49:43 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Mar 17, 2018 6:29:52 GMT -5 ECB said:

the child will function in public school because theyll be older and able to advocate for themselves. Ds is 9 and is his own best advocate. But in preschool? I had to be his advocate and had to ask for help from his teachers.

This exactly. Even at almost 3, my daughter is very versed in “no eggs, no nuts” and even her friends in her class know. She knows not to take food from others ever, without asking an adult (her parents, teachers, or others who know her allergies) if it’s ok. Fortunately her daycare is nut free, and very few of the foods they serve there contain egg as an ingredient. Choosing a school that provides all the food turned out to be a godsend for us. Much smaller chance of her accidentally having something she shouldn’t.

Advocating for themselves can start early! When DS was 4, I sent GF cookies in his lunch that were new.  They came home uneaten.  I asked him why.  He said he didn’t know if they were safe or not and his preschool teacher didn’t know either.

On one hand, I had to laugh.  And I said to him that if *I* pack his lunch, he can know that I’d never pack something he can’t eat.

BUT BUT BUT I also told him that he absolutely made the right choice!  He didn’t know so he didn’t eat it- he always has to put himself first and if he isn’t sure, even if the food is from me, then absolutely don’t eat it.

I knew we were on the right track at that point!

[vmars]

How old are the kids? Young toddlers can not be trusted. My kid used to try and eat everyone’s food when he was around 1-2.5. He didn’t not have food allergies, but he had to be on a special gastroparesis diet for 6 months. The teachers did a good job of keeping an eye on him but mistakes still happened. Luckily he was okay.

I would research alternatives to the items listed and test them out. Also I would try my best to do breakfast before school so you only have to worry about lunch and snack s for school.