Teen Vogue reporter groped 22 times in 10hrs at Coachella

[Deleted]

www.teenvogue.com/story/sexual-harassment-was-rampant-at-coachella-2018

I feel fortunate that I’ve had very few bad experiences at concerts. However, I have also rarely attended truly alone. If I am not with my husband, I have usually been with a guy friend. But that’s sad - I shouldn’t have to be seen as belonging to a man or having a male protector to be free of groping at a concert.

[cattledogkisses]

I went to a concert with my sister once where there was literally a line of men on either side of the entrance to the women's restrooms groping women as they would walk by to use the bathroom.

It still makes me angry.

[taratru]

I'm not surprised. I would bet that the majority of men go to Coachella specifically to engage in this behavior. It makes me sick.

[Bernadine]

I have been groped at most of the concerts I've been to. This doesn't surprise me at all.

[mrs.jacinthe]

I'd be shocked if this wasn't an issue, given the general dress at Coachella and the way some men still seem to process visible skin/possible side boob/nip as "WHORE!"

I hate it. I swear, if I had the guts to do it, I'd go to some metal concert some time and spend an hour in the pit just randomly kicking guys in the nuts, just to return the damn favor.

[PinkSquirrel]

I see a lot of music and it's a problem, even with the older crowd. NYE 2016/2017 I had to intervene when a 60 year old man wouldn't stop groping (grabbing her breasts, touching her arms, trying to hug her) a similarly aged woman. It took an army to keep him away. This year, same venue, I had a guy who had been hitting on me all night despite being in the middle of a my friends and standing next to my boyfriend. During second set, asshole reached his hand between my legs from behind to grab me by the pussy. I was clearly with 5 other people standing right there, but I also knew 90% of the people on the rail so he pretty much did it while I was in the middle of a group of 50 friends.

[al320]

I go to concerts alone all the time, and concerts where its mostly men. Ive been annoyingly hit on, but never groped. Ive also noticed that women, particularly those who are there alone, tend to assemble near each other.

[glw]

Revolting.
I'm going to JazzFest in New Orleans again this year and I just sent the organizers a link to this article and asked what their plan & resources are. Nothing on their website.

[lessel]

I don't go to outdoor concerts/music festivals for this reason. Maybe I've just been lucky that this never happened at an indoor show. But I went to my last outdoor concert when I was probably 19 because of bad experiences with this.

[downtoearth]

This is so common at concerts, I think we've all employed tactics to try to minimize contact - like the backpack trick, group protection, move from good location to avoid creepers/gropers, etc. I have met amazing people at concerts too, so I know it's not every guy who plans to grope and assault their way through festivals and concerts, but it shouldn't be this ubiquitous. I am glad to see groups that are making people more aware, asking people to speak up, wristband reminders, and reporting tents/locations. I hope it continues to change.

[cookiemdough]

Is this for concerts without seats? I don’t think I have ever experienced this at a concert.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2018 10:39:03 GMT -5 cookiemdough said:

Is this for concerts without seats? I don’t think I have ever experienced this at a concert.

The article definitely focuses on the big festivals. But I know it happens at small club shows, too (which generally don't have seats unless they're super mellow acts). Women performers who play small clubs where they have to do stuff like tend their own merch tables also often have to deal with tons of douche supremes.

[downtoearth]

Apr 20, 2018 10:39:03 GMT -5 cookiemdough said:

Is this for concerts without seats? I don’t think I have ever experienced this at a concert.

Yeah - festivals and concerts with standing room areas. Small bar/pub venues to large outdoor concerts - not so much the bluegrass I've been to outdoors, but it could totally still happen there.  Even huge venue stadium places (like Pearl Jam back in the day), I was groped when up front where everyone was standing, so we retreated to the area in the middle where we had seats. I also would like to note that some guy reached up my shirt at an Alan Jackson concert decades ago, so country music fans aren't immune IMO.

[suburbanzookeeper]

My niece attends Coachella every year and her friend had a huge altercation last year where she broke a guy's phone screen when she reacted to him grabbing her when she walked by inappropriately. He flipped his shit calling her a crazy fat slut, etc and his friends ended up getting security involved - the guys were tossed from the festival in the end.

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 9:32:45 GMT -5 al320 said:

I go to concerts alone all the time, and concerts where its mostly men. Ive been annoyingly hit on, but never groped. Ive also noticed that women, particularly those who are there alone, tend to assemble near each other.

Similar. I spent my 20s at concerts, mostly solo and I can only think of one occasion where I've been groped. I've been hit on a few times (most memorably by a guy named Frodo) but for the most part I've always been left alone. IDK if my 20s "don't speak to me" face was better than my 30s one or if it was pretty obvious I knew almost all of the security folks or if I just wasn't their type. I know it wasn't typical because my girlfriends did not have similar experiences and went to far fewer concerts.


ETA: the one dude who did grope me? I pushed him into the mosh pit.

[pixy0stix]

I've never been groped, but I always get the barnacle creeper that stands waaaaay too close, so you rub up against them if you dance. Which is hazardous to their health because I dance like I'm having a seizure. But anyway, I've gotten good at slamming insteps, throwing elbows, and the like but a lot of times it just doesn't help.

Also, my husband and I had an argument because I got pissed when he wouldn't stand behind me to deter a particularly persistent barnacle. He just didn't understand what was happening until I pulled him completely out of the crowd and explained. He couldn't see what was happening right next to him.

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 11:21:25 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I've never been groped, but I always get the barnacle creeper that stands waaaaay too close, so you rub up against them if you dance. Which is hazardous to their health because I dance like I'm having a seizure. But anyway, I've gotten good at slamming insteps, throwing elbows, and the like but a lot of times it just doesn't help.

Also, my husband and I had an argument because I got pissed when he wouldn't stand behind me to deter a particularly persistent barnacle. He just didn't understand what was happening until I pulled him completely out of the crowd and explained. He couldn't see what was happening right next to him.

1) I adore you
2) barnacle creeper is amazing

[followyourarrow]

I go to quite a few concerts and many on my own. I'm 38 and obese, yet I get groped at almost every concert and by 21-25 year olds. These days I stand off to the side, noting where the security is, or find some of my fellow olds to hang with.

[greeneggs]

I used to get floor tickets for shows all the time when I was in high school and all of us girls just acted like it was no big deal to get grabbed and groped by men in the crowd because that's just what happened. I remember at one festival crowd surfing and immediately regretting that decision when men started grabbing me, tried to stick their hands up the legs of my shorts, and pulled so hard on my tank top that it and my bra were torn. At the time I was just pissed that my favorite bra got ruined and I had to borrow a male friend's shirt to stay covered the rest of the day but now I'm horrified by the whole thing. As an adult I'm not really sure what part of my concert going experiences were worse; the fact that men felt entitled and almost invited grab teenage girls or that we laughed it off as if our being groped was kind of "asking for it" by just being present at a crowded concert and if you wanted to keep your body to yourself you need to stay in your seat or at the back of the venue.

[MrsAxilla]

Apr 20, 2018 11:17:09 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Apr 20, 2018 9:32:45 GMT -5 al320 said:

I go to concerts alone all the time, and concerts where its mostly men. Ive been annoyingly hit on, but never groped. Ive also noticed that women, particularly those who are there alone, tend to assemble near each other.

Similar. I spent my 20s at concerts, mostly solo and I can only think of one occasion where I've been groped. I've been hit on a few times (most memorably by a guy named Frodo) but for the most part I've always been left alone. IDK if my 20s "don't speak to me" face was better than my 30s one or if it was pretty obvious I knew almost all of the security folks or if I just wasn't their type. I know it wasn't typical because my girlfriends did not have similar experiences and went to far fewer concerts.


ETA: the one dude who did grope me? I pushed him into the mosh pit.

I've been groped and even kissed once. But mostly it's dudes trying to take over my space (we like to be close to the stage). I used to just dance big with lots of sharp elbows, but I'm way more aggressive now. Usually they are shocked and embarrassed that some chick is calling them out and they slink away.

I'd like to plug groovesafe.com. Started by phish fans to raise awareness of this issue. downtoearth - maybe refer the venue to them if they bother to respond. Or send the link to the band.

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 11:33:33 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Apr 20, 2018 11:17:09 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Similar. I spent my 20s at concerts, mostly solo and I can only think of one occasion where I've been groped. I've been hit on a few times (most memorably by a guy named Frodo) but for the most part I've always been left alone. IDK if my 20s "don't speak to me" face was better than my 30s one or if it was pretty obvious I knew almost all of the security folks or if I just wasn't their type. I know it wasn't typical because my girlfriends did not have similar experiences and went to far fewer concerts.


ETA: the one dude who did grope me? I pushed him into the mosh pit.

I've been groped and even kissed once. But mostly it's dudes trying to take over my space (we like to be close to the stage). I used to just dance big with lots of sharp elbows, but I'm way more aggressive now. Usually they are shocked and embarrassed that some chick is calling them out and they slink away.

I'd like to plug groovesafe.com. Started by phish fans to raise awareness of this issue. downtoearth - maybe refer the venue to them if they bother to respond. Or send the link to the band.

Same! Once I'm on at the rail ain't no one getting me off it. If I can't get to the rail, I like to border the pit. I loved bouncing folks back in. Socially acceptable forms of aggression are my jam. 

[formerlyak]

I've not experienced this at a concert, but I remember going to parties in college (fraternity or otherwise) and when there was dancing, guys felt it was ok to go up to random girls and grope them. Not like go up to girls and start dancing with them and if they were getting a vibe, make a move. But like just walk over to where you were dancing and grab a handful of whatever they wanted (maybe the took Trump's "Grab 'em by the Pussy" crash course). I would alway tell them to stop, but one night this guy thought it was funny that I told him to stop and did it again. I punched him. He told me I was a bitch. Yep, if not putting up with being groped makes me a bitch, then I am the bitchiest!

[SwimDeep]

These stories make me sad and angry. Especially yours, followyourarrow. I'm so sorry that happens to you. I love music, and I would love to attend concerts...but I hate people....scratch that. I'm scared of men. I've never even been to a football game because of male aggression... Sometimes I get really angry about the world we live in. Today I'm really sad.

[lilibet]

Apr 20, 2018 11:21:25 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I've never been groped, but I always get the barnacle creeper that stands waaaaay too close, so you rub up against them if you dance. Which is hazardous to their health because I dance like I'm having a seizure. But anyway, I've gotten good at slamming insteps, throwing elbows, and the like but a lot of times it just doesn't help.

Also, my husband and I had an argument because I got pissed when he wouldn't stand behind me to deter a particularly persistent barnacle. He just didn't understand what was happening until I pulled him completely out of the crowd and explained. He couldn't see what was happening right next to him.

When dh and I were dating in college we went to a concert and at one point he leaned over and told me "watch where you're dancing, you keep bumping into the guy behind you." We were standing at the back edge of the floor crowd and there was no natural reason for this other dude to be right up behind me because there was almost half a basketball court of empty space. I was too naive/young to get it so I just scaled back on my movements and spent the rest of the time shifting away every time he shifted closer.

There are so many creeps in the world.

[pixy0stix]

Apr 20, 2018 13:43:43 GMT -5 lilibet said:

Apr 20, 2018 11:21:25 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I've never been groped, but I always get the barnacle creeper that stands waaaaay too close, so you rub up against them if you dance. Which is hazardous to their health because I dance like I'm having a seizure. But anyway, I've gotten good at slamming insteps, throwing elbows, and the like but a lot of times it just doesn't help.

Also, my husband and I had an argument because I got pissed when he wouldn't stand behind me to deter a particularly persistent barnacle. He just didn't understand what was happening until I pulled him completely out of the crowd and explained. He couldn't see what was happening right next to him.

When dh and I were dating in college we went to a concert and at one point he leaned over and told me "watch where you're dancing, you keep bumping into the guy behind you." We were standing at the back edge of the floor crowd and there was no natural reason for this other dude to be right up behind me because there was almost half a basketball court of empty space. I was too naive/young to get it so I just scaled back on my movements and spent the rest of the time shifting away every time he shifted closer.

There are so many creeps in the world.

Yeah, it took me a few times to figure out what was happening. I kept thinking "wow, it's way crowded". Nope, just classic barnacles.

[Captain Catnip]

Apr 20, 2018 13:43:43 GMT -5 lilibet said:

Apr 20, 2018 11:21:25 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I've never been groped, but I always get the barnacle creeper that stands waaaaay too close, so you rub up against them if you dance. Which is hazardous to their health because I dance like I'm having a seizure. But anyway, I've gotten good at slamming insteps, throwing elbows, and the like but a lot of times it just doesn't help.

Also, my husband and I had an argument because I got pissed when he wouldn't stand behind me to deter a particularly persistent barnacle. He just didn't understand what was happening until I pulled him completely out of the crowd and explained. He couldn't see what was happening right next to him.

When dh and I were dating in college we went to a concert and at one point he leaned over and told me "watch where you're dancing, you keep bumping into the guy behind you." We were standing at the back edge of the floor crowd and there was no natural reason for this other dude to be right up behind me because there was almost half a basketball court of empty space. I was too naive/young to get it so I just scaled back on my movements and spent the rest of the time shifting away every time he shifted closer.

There are so many creeps in the world.

I was against a railing at a show, H next to me, and neither I nor the guy behind me that kept leaning in me so far I was leaning over the rail, were dancing. He just kept rubbing against me. I asked him to stop repeatedly, he didn't, so I punched him in the stomach. I was called a bitch but he then went elsewhere and left me alone.

[cattledogkisses]

Apr 20, 2018 13:27:14 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

These stories make me sad and angry. Especially yours, followyourarrow . I'm so sorry that happens to you. I love music, and I would love to attend concerts...but I hate people....scratch that. I'm scared of men. I've never even been to a football game because of male aggression... Sometimes I get really angry about the world we live in. Today I'm really sad.

I've only been to one NFL game, but my experience there was... something.  My BF went to the bathroom, and while I waited alone for him, I swear it was like someone had chummed the waters for creepy men (like, older, middle-aged men, and I was 18 at the time).  It was undoubtedly the highest number of unsettling pickup attempts I've ever had in ~5 minutes. 

Maybe this is not the norm, IDK, but it made me not want to go to any more games. 

[Champagne Supernova]

These stories piss me off so much. And of course, we're such bitches and sluts when we fight back!

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

Ok I've never in my life been groped or harassed. There is no Me Too happening here. I'm starting to get a bit of a complex. I guess my RBF is Oscar level.

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 15:06:28 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

Ok I've never in my life been groped or harassed. There is no Me Too happening here. I'm starting to get a bit of a complex. I guess my RBF is Oscar level.

Teach classes, make a fortune.