Daycare & Potty Training Question

[raangoli]

I more so need opinions than it being a question.

BB is potty training and so naturally she has accidents. We send in lots of extra underwear, socks, shorts, and a pair of shoes too. Yesterday at pick up MH could not find her bag of soiled clothes and no one said anything to him. I asked about them this morning at daycare and was told that their "rule" is to put clothes that have bodily fluids on them in a labeled plastic bag outside of the door of the classroom - adjacent to where they keep the garbage. You see where this is going. We were never told that this is the case for soiled clothes. Until now, her dirty clothes were in a plastic bag in her cubby. 

We looked this morning after I asked and also asked other parents who drop off/pick up around the same time and so far nada. I'm going to assume they were tossed. This sucks since her sneakers were just bought last month and now we no longer have a backup pair since the backup became the primary. I also do not know how many socks, shorts, and underwear were in there (unless I take an inventory myself) since they didn't say how many accidents she had.

The lead teacher said if they don't show up, we will assume they were accidentally thrown out and she will reimburse us. That makes it sound like she will do it from her own pocket, which we do not want. Thankfully it is not a financial hardship for us to replace these things, but we are really annoyed. MH is actually pretty angry, but his reaction is based more on the fact that he's never warmed to this new center we started at two months ago.

My question - do I have a right to be annoyed by this? It's a lack of communication on a few fronts and I would hope that they would do better. I realize this may make me sound uptight, but our previous center set a high bar and so we're surprised at the way this one runs. Or is this just par for the course, shit disappears at daycare sort of thing?

[countthestars]

You definitely are right to be annoyed. I agree with you that the teacher shouldn't have to pay for replacements out of her pocket, but I do feel that the center is at fault here and they should offer reimbursement from the business. In general, yes shit disappears at daycare and I find myself occasionally wondering what happened to a single bathing suit or sweatshirt or glove, but I would expect that sneakers and bags of soiled clothing is properly returned to you.

[icedcoffee]

You're definitely allowed to be annoyed by this. I think that's a dumb policy and they should just put it in her cubby, but they definitely should have mentioned it at pickup. The center should probably reimburse you and not the teacher.

I feel you though. I picked DS up one day and he was missing ONE shoe. I had to carry him to the car. It never turned up. It was a brand new pair of Nike sandals he had worn twice.

[raangoli]

icedcoffee, the lead teacher made it seem like it was a rule she follows so I am not sure if it's a center wide rule or just her room. Also, that is really frustrating about losing one shoe! How the heck does that even happen?

[janegold]

Aug 22, 2018 13:10:34 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

You're definitely allowed to be annoyed by this. I think that's a dumb policy and they should just put it in her cubby, but they definitely should have mentioned it at pickup. The center should probably reimburse you and not the teacher.

I feel you though. I picked DS up one day and he was missing ONE shoe. I had to carry him to the car. It never turned up. It was a brand new pair of Nike sandals he had worn twice.

B also lost a single sneaker at school a while back.  I also eventually decided it somehow ended up in the trash, probably at the hand of an enthusiastic toddler.   

[starburst604]

I would definitely be annoyed. Hell, I got annoyed when they lost a glove per week over the winter and we know how hard those are to keep track of! I'm not sure if I'd ask for reimbursement but I think you are certainly entitled to it, but from the center and not the teacher. Maybe if this starts hitting them in the wallet they will improve their system. Putting it by the trash was really stupid of them.

[icedcoffee]

raangoli, janegold, I'm 90% sure it ended up in the trash. He was 19 months old at the time and he was into throwing stuff away. The teacher said she went through the trash that night and didn't find it though. Who knows. At this point I think I need to throw the other one out. They redid the floors in his room last month so they moved everything out and back in and it still didn't turn up.

The only other option is that him or one of his buddies put it in someone else's cubby or bag, but no other parent has brought it back so I think probably not. Although, in the past DS' clothes were sent home with another kid and they never brought it back so who knows.

This is why I send only cheap stuff to daycare. LOL

[mbcdefg]

I'd definitely be annoyed. I don't think I'd accept her personal payment over it, but like you said it's just one more thing swaying you against this place.

I'm sorry, I know you're already on the fence about it and this latest thing doesn't help

[raangoli]

Aug 22, 2018 13:24:50 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

raangoli , janegold , I'm 90% sure it ended up in the trash. He was 19 months old at the time and he was into throwing stuff away. The teacher said she went through the trash that night and didn't find it though. Who knows. At this point I think I need to throw the other one out. They redid the floors in his room last month so they moved everything out and back in and it still didn't turn up.

The only other option is that him or one of his buddies put it in someone else's cubby or bag, but no other parent has brought it back so I think probably not. Although, in the past DS' clothes were sent home with another kid and they never brought it back so who knows.

This is why I send only cheap stuff to daycare. LOL

Why wouldn't you bring back clothes that clearly do not belong to your kid and you know they came from daycare? BB came home a few months ago with a HAIR CLIP in her hair that wasn't hers and I brought it back the next day. But I guess I follow the golden rule and others do not.

[raangoli]

mbcdefg, Yeah, that is the unfortunate thing. MH texted saying that he has had enough of them and that they can't recover from this in his opinion. So I asked him what he wanted to do, and he admitted he needs to calm down. I was just starting to be OK with the place and decided I could deal with the things that bother me, but then this happened. They're not doing themselves any favors.

[icedcoffee]

Aug 22, 2018 13:28:17 GMT -5 raangoli said:

Aug 22, 2018 13:24:50 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

raangoli , janegold , I'm 90% sure it ended up in the trash. He was 19 months old at the time and he was into throwing stuff away. The teacher said she went through the trash that night and didn't find it though. Who knows. At this point I think I need to throw the other one out. They redid the floors in his room last month so they moved everything out and back in and it still didn't turn up.

The only other option is that him or one of his buddies put it in someone else's cubby or bag, but no other parent has brought it back so I think probably not. Although, in the past DS' clothes were sent home with another kid and they never brought it back so who knows.

This is why I send only cheap stuff to daycare. LOL

Why wouldn't you bring back clothes that clearly do not belong to your kid and you know they came from daycare? BB came home a few months ago with a HAIR CLIP in her hair that wasn't hers and I brought it back the next day. But I guess I follow the golden rule and others do not.

Yeah---I have no idea.  The teacher even sent out a note about it and one of them mentioned they thought they had it and would bring it in and still nothing.  The weird thing is that at the time he was the smallest by a lot so it's not even like the clothes would have fit anyone else.  I bring everything back.  I even wash it if I'm doing laundry that night anyway.  It's bizarre. 

[mbcdefg]

Aug 22, 2018 13:30:21 GMT -5 raangoli said:

mbcdefg , Yeah, that is the unfortunate thing. MH texted saying that he has had enough of them and that they can't recover from this in his opinion. So I asked him what he wanted to do, and he admitted he needs to calm down. I was just starting to be OK with the place and decided I could deal with the things that bother me, but then this happened. They're not doing themselves any favors.

MH would be the same way. "Done, let's leave!" "OK, now what do we do?" "Sigh, FORGET IT, too much effort, leave her there." 

I mean, it's not like she's being harmed but when it's one annoyance after another that's certainly not pleasant. 

Re: bringing back clothes, C has come home with bibs and bows and pacifiers (barf) that weren't hers, and I always bring them back. Meanwhile we've had a little elephant toy and a puffy vest and probably some other pieces of clothing that have disappeared. Like you said, why are people keeping things that clearly aren't theirs? And C was the only girl in her room for several months so it's not like a boy's parents would realistically think that a pink vest was theirs? (I know nothing says a boy can't wear a pink vest but you know what I mean.)

[raangoli]

mbcdefg, our husbands sound a lot alike, lol! I know she is well cared for and has made friends, etc, but this is a really dumb rule they have. They said they do it to keep kids away from the cubbies and going back in and touching the dirty clothes. Fine, so put it up on a high shelf, not next to the garbage.

I can only assume that the missing clothing that others take home on accident also end up in the trash or a donate pile. Why not bring it back though? Boggles my mind. I don't want extra stuff that's not mine cluttering up my house.

[Susie]

Wait, so the new daycare had previously been putting her dirty clothes in her cubby, or that's just what you're used to from your previous daycare?

Either way, the out in the hall thing is bizarre.  Our daycare ties up soiled clothes in a plastic bag and they're put in her cubby.  It's been the same since back in the infant class when there were diaper explosions.  I'm not going to say there's 100% fidelity on getting her dirty clothes back, but we've only lost a couple things in >2 years.  Definitely never anything as pricey as new sneakers.  I'd be pissed.

[raangoli]

Susie, the new daycare had been putting soiled clothes in her cubby. This is her first week going in diaper free/underwear only. Monday her soiled clothes were in a bag in her cubby. Tuesday this happened and they went missing. I thought of you and your missing stroller to try to judge how mad I should be. Clothes, meh, fine, I buy them on sale and shorts were like $5 each. Underwear is cheap too, but the sneakers. They were Nike sneakers, so not exactly cheap.

[gt7301b]

I'd be annoyed, but this certainly isn't a hill I would die on. I'd just chalk it up as a casualty of potty training.

[vtdiamond]

That's really strange. Our daycare puts soiled clothes in a tied up plastic bag and puts that bag in the kid's backpack. We have rarely lost things with this system. That system sounds like things must be getting lost/thrown away all the time!

[raangoli]

vtdiamond, I am not sure if things get lost often, since most (many) other parents seem to know about it. We did not, so we didn't know where to look. Live and learn I guess.

[ewall]

Aug 22, 2018 14:04:23 GMT -5 gt7301b said:

I'd be annoyed, but this certainly isn't a hill I would die on. I'd just chalk it up as a casualty of potty training.

I'm here. I'd be annoyed, but shoes can be replaced. Things can get intense (insane?) in the toddler room so I personally can't get too upset about a teacher misplacing something. Sorry about the shoes, though!

[raangoli]

gt7301b, ewall, I know the sneakers were going to be a casualty of potty training. At this point, they were pretty pee-soaked. But now I have to bring brand new sneakers into the mix and that really sucks. But yea, shit happens.

[starryfish]

Susie, what ever happened with your stroller? Never showed up?

[Susie]

Lol that this was resurrected! No, we never did get the stroller back, so I guess I stand corrected that we haven't lost much!  I had forgotten about the stroller and was only thinking of things inside the classroom.

They reviewed security camera footage, but it wasn't complete.  The stroller was never seen leaving the building on camera.  It very certainly left somehow, somewhere, with someone though.  The explanation was patchy, but apparently the cameras aren't all on all the time?  They rotate or something?  Dunno.  Seemed weak sauce for a federal building where our US senators' offices are located, among others.  There are also a few exits though, some directly out of the walk-out lower level that the daycare is on, some via stairs/lobby, some via elevator/lobby, so we gave up.  We got the same stroller in a different color on sale at BBB and called it an (annoying) day.

starryfish

[starburst604]

Aug 22, 2018 14:42:33 GMT -5 raangoli said:

gt7301b , ewall , I know the sneakers were going to be a casualty of potty training. At this point, they were pretty pee-soaked. But now I have to bring brand new sneakers into the mix and that really sucks. But yea, shit happens.

Is their policy sneakers only? If it's just closed toe and heel they require could she maybe wear a pair of Natives instead? Rubber and easily washable. DD wears them to daycare all summer and I would have definitely sent her in those but she trained in the winter. 

[raangoli]

Aug 22, 2018 15:18:07 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Aug 22, 2018 14:42:33 GMT -5 raangoli said:

gt7301b , ewall , I know the sneakers were going to be a casualty of potty training. At this point, they were pretty pee-soaked. But now I have to bring brand new sneakers into the mix and that really sucks. But yea, shit happens.

Is their policy sneakers only? If it's just closed toe and heel they require could she maybe wear a pair of Natives instead? Rubber and easily washable. DD wears them to daycare all summer and I would have definitely sent her in those but she trained in the winter. 

It's just closed toe and I did think about sending her in her water shoes that are basically Natives knock offs from the Gap. Except that they are slightly too big and I was concerned about her running in them all day. I'll see how they fit her with socks on, maybe that will help. 

[starburst604]

Aug 22, 2018 15:20:26 GMT -5 raangoli said:

Aug 22, 2018 15:18:07 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Is their policy sneakers only? If it's just closed toe and heel they require could she maybe wear a pair of Natives instead? Rubber and easily washable. DD wears them to daycare all summer and I would have definitely sent her in those but she trained in the winter. 

It's just closed toe and I did think about sending her in her water shoes that are basically Natives knock offs from the Gap. Except that they are slightly too big and I was concerned about her running in them all day. I'll see how they fit her with socks on, maybe that will help. 

If it's just closed toe you could probably do Crocs too, which I see cheap on BST FB sites all the time. Our school requires a closed toe and heel so no Crocs allowed. 

[raangoli]

Aug 22, 2018 15:23:00 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

Aug 22, 2018 15:20:26 GMT -5 raangoli said:

It's just closed toe and I did think about sending her in her water shoes that are basically Natives knock offs from the Gap. Except that they are slightly too big and I was concerned about her running in them all day. I'll see how they fit her with socks on, maybe that will help. 

If it's just closed toe you could probably do Crocs too, which I see cheap on BST FB sites all the time. Our school requires a closed toe and heel so no Crocs allowed. 

I need to double check the handbook - I have seen kids with crocs and keens this summer, but I don't know if it's relaxed bc it is the summer. I will ask. Thanks for the ideas though! 

[lessel]

I feel like there are a million little process things like this that daycares never tell you about and you learn after-the-fact when you're ticked off about something. Like when DS was potty training, if he had an accident at daycare they'd put a pull-up on him for the rest of the day. Didn't know that until after it happened. That's their policy, yadda yadda. And it had been a motherfucking Herculean effort to get him into underwear in the first place, so that set us back on our PTing progress.

But yeah, I'd be annoyed and just kind of seethe about it but not actually do anything.

[raangoli]

lessel That is a crazy policy! How does that help to reinforce the notion of using the toilet to pee and poop? I'd have been so angry at that. How frustrating!

[lessel]

Aug 22, 2018 15:44:19 GMT -5 raangoli said:

lessel That is a crazy policy! How does that help to reinforce the notion of using the toilet to pee and poop? I'd have been so angry at that. How frustrating!

It was nuts! Thankfully after the initial hurdle it wasn't a big deal for DS. But I had a mom friend with a special needs son who had to go to an intensive and $$$ potty training day camp. Then months after they'd made progress with him, when he'd have an accident in the daycare's aftercare and they'd put him in a pull-up. She would rage and rightfully so! They did stop doing that with him.

[Susie]

Aug 22, 2018 15:36:09 GMT -5 lessel said:

I feel like there are a million little process things like this that daycares never tell you about and you learn after-the-fact when you're ticked off about something. Like when DS was potty training, if he had an accident at daycare they'd put a pull-up on him for the rest of the day. Didn't know that until after it happened. That's their policy, yadda yadda. And it had been a motherfucking Herculean effort to get him into underwear in the first place, so that set us back on our PTing progress.

Ugh, how demoralizing for a kiddo!