I wanted to clarify that I have discussed this with my husband, my sister, and best friend who all have my back. I’ve also told my best neighbor friend and my mom that I’m taking a break but l left out details and let them assume it’s a cleanse or challenge or something. So I have some accountability with them without divulging too much. Those are my people. It’s sharing with the world that scares me. The first time I’m offered a drink someone has already poured, for example. That stuff is scary.
This Saturday is my 13 year soberversary, and there are plenty of people in my life who don’t realize I’m sober. I don’t hide it, but I don’t feel the need to blast it, either. There are a lot of ways to donsobriety, and baby steps are great. For me, I knew I was serious about it when I told my (27 years sober) Dad that I knew I had a problem. You told your people. That’s vital. Making a public announcement isn’t required. Take care of yourself, and good work! For women especially, identifying the problem can be hard. I didn’t hit any rock bottom either but looking back I was a hot mess even though I was “holding it together” and functioning just fine to the outside world. One day at a time. Life just gets better and better.
Your story, and you, have been on my heart for days. Good for you for recognizing what you need.
I wish my BIL had written your post about 8 years ago. I think your willingness to look deeply at yourself is wonderful. May the road rise up to meet you and the wind be always at your back.