Okay, but what is the alternative? Saying nothing about a situation that I observe? I'm genuinely asking.
What are you observing, exactly? That farmer lives in a white world and doesn’t always handle racism correctly? Why do you think you need to behave in a performative way to correct instead of speaking to her directly? If you are close enough to follow her on Instagram, you should be close enough to PM her and call her out when it happens. The goal is to have her correct the behavior in the future, right? Or is it to show everyone here that you (at large, not you specifically) are better than her at handling these situations?
People are not perfect, and minorities targeted by white supremacy are living very different lives than white ones. Let other WOC get their people when it comes to public shaming. White ladies need to stay out of it and amplify the voices of the WOC and other marginalized people who speak up.
I acknowledge that I'm a work in progress here and can be wrong, but I thought that leaving the onus of calling out either active or complicit behavior on WOC was not okay (I'm looking for a better way to phrase that but it's not connecting right now).
Maybe she should not have left the party, but she stated that one of her friends was wearing a headdress and doing a war cry. That's not okay either. At what point does someone say "I don't want to hang out with people like that, and I certainly don't want to wear themed Halloween costumes with them"?
People are talking about Farmer and Miso because they’re the two we know are posting alongside Booby on another message board.
Oh for godssakes, Pants is over there as Beatch. Michael Scott dropped it already but Pants did not take the bait. And tbh I know she did post but I don't know how currently active she is. That place is like a word blizzard of wtf. I don't last long reading.
Well. That is shitty.
But LOL to “word blizzard of wtf”. That’s a very accurate description.
I acknowledge that I'm a work in progress here and can be wrong, but I thought that leaving the onus of calling out either active or complicit behavior on WOC was not okay (I'm looking for a better way to phrase that but it's not connecting right now).
Maybe she should not have left the party, but she stated that one of her friends was wearing a headdress and doing a war cry. That's not okay either. At what point does someone say "I don't want to hang out with people like that, and I certainly don't want to wear themed Halloween costumes with them"?
I may sound curt below but I’m trying to be succinct and I suck at it.
If you see someone doing something bigoted, call them out in person. So if you read a bigoted post, see a bigoted Instagram story, etc, say something immediately.
If a POC or other marginalized person says “hey, person X, that was bigoted!”, support the marginalized person. If it is a conversation between two marginalized people, really listen to what is being said before you amplify. For instance, if a Jew says an anti-black thing, support the Black person by amplifying their callout. If a black person says something anti-Semitic, support the Jew.
When rehashing past actions of marginalized people, make sure you are amplifying the hurt parties instead of punishing the marginalized person for fucking up.
Learn more about white supremacy so that you don’t engage in it and you recognize it when it happens, so you know who to support. There is an excellent book called White Fragility, and there are some wonderful women like Aja Barber, Rachel Carlige, Rachel Ricketts, etc on Instagram who offer resources for you to do deeper dives. If you utilize their services, pay them.
I very much appreciate you taking the time to write this out. I just downloaded the book onto my kindle, and I've read recommendations from women like Luvvie Ajayi and Kara Brown because I know that I have a lot to learn. I also know that it's not the responsibility of any WOC to school me, it's my responsibility to seek out resources and school myself.
rvan0905, we don't deserve your help with this, but thank you. I don't think you suck at communicating this at all. Not that you give a crap about my opinion, but genuinely...thank you.
Okay, but what is the alternative? Saying nothing about a situation that I observe? I'm genuinely asking.
I thought she was saying that expecting or demanding FV to move, or tell off her racist white friends and storm out of a party, and then rake her over the coals when she doesn’t do what we deem appropriate, is out of line. I respect that position. Plus she’s right, I’ve never been persecuted so I don’t know what it truly means to try to go along to get along.
I was reading this whole thread for the schadenfreude but I'm posting because WHAT THE FUCK BULLSHIT ARE YOU TALKING,RVAN?
All minorities are not the same. Yes, my biracial black ass fully expects an Asian woman to walk the fuck away from white people when they are actively engaging in racist behavior.
Otherwise bitch is wearing the racism like a white hood in a bid to get along which makes her equally complicit no matter her own racial background.
I'm certainly not going to hang out with Hispanic people even if that's the racial makeup of my neighborhood and smile in pictures while someone wears a kimono and parrots racist Asian tropes.
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
I thought she was saying that expecting or demanding FV to move, or tell off her racist white friends and storm out of a party, and then rake her over the coals when she doesn’t do what we deem appropriate, is out of line. I respect that position. Plus she’s right, I’ve never been persecuted so I don’t know what it truly means to try to go along to get along.
I was reading this whole thread for the schadenfreude but I'm posting because WHAT THE FUCK BULLSHIT ARE YOU TALKING,RVAN?
All minorities are not the same. Yes, my biracial black ass fully expects an Asian woman to walk the fuck away from white people when they are actively engaging in racist behavior.
Otherwise bitch is wearing the racism like a white hood in a bid to get along which makes her equally complicit no matter her own racial background.
I'm certainly not going to hang out with Hispanic people even if that's the racial makeup of my neighborhood and smile in pictures while someone wears a kimono and parrots racist Asian tropes.
Thank you for saying this. I wanted to say something similar, but as a white woman, felt like I shouldn’t/couldn’t, which tends to be a problem in a lot of these threads. It’s hard to know when it’s our place to say something. But I thought I remembered black posters saying they didn’t like the blanket use of WOC because not all minorities have the same experiences.
rvan0905, we don't deserve your help with this, but thank you. I don't think you suck at communicating this at all. Not that you give a crap about my opinion, but genuinely...thank you.
You and the people who liked this post are fairly dumb. Ace girl rvan doesn't make any sense at all.
PS Just because a person that is of a minority or marginalized group says some thoughts with lots of words to chastise typical white people doesn't mean they are right. Lol at the big lesson you learned here.
I was reading this whole thread for the schadenfreude but I'm posting because WHAT THE FUCK BULLSHIT ARE YOU TALKING,RVAN?
All minorities are not the same. Yes, my biracial black ass fully expects an Asian woman to walk the fuck away from white people when they are actively engaging in racist behavior.
Otherwise bitch is wearing the racism like a white hood in a bid to get along which makes her equally complicit no matter her own racial background.
I'm certainly not going to hang out with Hispanic people even if that's the racial makeup of my neighborhood and smile in pictures while someone wears a kimono and parrots racist Asian tropes.
I never said that what she did was acceptable. I never said that she shouldn't be called out for it because she is Asian. I said that white women should not continuously demonize a woman of color for racist actions way after the fact when they are not doing the same thing to white women who have done the same sort of thing.
Anti-blackness is an exceptionally violent aspect of white supremacy, and it should never be tolerated. Under no circumstances do I want to imply that I am ok with anything having to do with anti-blackness. I don't know if Farmer ever participated in that, and that isn't what I was speaking to.
I was specifically talking about her conduct at the Cowboys and Indians part, which was and is absolutely worthy of condemnation. My point was that it is hypocritical for white women to only call out the WOC who participated in racist actions, and not really assign the same blame and vitriol to the white women who did and said similar and worse things. People in this thread are ripping Miso and Farmer new ones and are implying that they at their core are horrible people with no redeemable qualities, while sympathetically turning Tamb (who used the n-word) into a dumbass that doesn't know how words go and is just too stupid and unhappy to understand her racism. They are all lawyers, none of them are idiots. But one is white and is getting a kinder treatment. Papie and Elle got barely a mention for their similar behaviors, and white women who still post here and were initially on Booby's side in the full on bullshit that happened are acting like they were always on the right side of history and roasting people gleefully. I think it is bullshit, and that is what I am calling out, and only what I am calling out. I am under no circumstances defending anything that anyone did that was racist or bigoted.
I was reading this whole thread for the schadenfreude but I'm posting because WHAT THE FUCK BULLSHIT ARE YOU TALKING,RVAN?
All minorities are not the same. Yes, my biracial black ass fully expects an Asian woman to walk the fuck away from white people when they are actively engaging in racist behavior.
Otherwise bitch is wearing the racism like a white hood in a bid to get along which makes her equally complicit no matter her own racial background.
I'm certainly not going to hang out with Hispanic people even if that's the racial makeup of my neighborhood and smile in pictures while someone wears a kimono and parrots racist Asian tropes.
I never said that what she did was acceptable. I never said that she shouldn't be called out for it because she is Asian. I said that white women should not continuously demonize a woman of color for racist actions way after the fact when they are not doing the same thing to white women who have done the same sort of thing.
Anti-blackness is an exceptionally violent aspect of white supremacy, and it should never be tolerated. Under no circumstances do I want to imply that I am ok with anything having to do with anti-blackness. I don't know if Farmer ever participated in that, and that isn't what I was speaking to.
I was specifically talking about her conduct at the Cowboys and Indians part, which was and is absolutely worthy of condemnation. My point was that it is hypocritical for white women to only call out the WOC who participated in racist actions, and not really assign the same blame and vitriol to the white women who did and said similar and worse things. People in this thread are ripping Miso and Farmer new ones and are implying that they at their core are horrible people with no redeemable qualities, while sympathetically turning Tamb (who used the n-word) into a dumbass that doesn't know how words go and is just too stupid and unhappy to understand her racism. They are all lawyers, none of them are idiots. But one is white and is getting a kinder treatment. Papie and Elle got barely a mention for their similar behaviors, and white women who still post here and were initially on Booby's side in the full on bullshit that happened are acting like they were always on the right side of history and roasting people gleefully. I think it is bullshit, and that is what I am calling out, and only what I am calling out. I am under no circumstances defending anything that anyone did that was racist or bigoted.
Farmer and miso are getting torn a new one because 1) farmer is still posting here about ugly ass shoes b) miso’s friend came to cap for her. HTH.
I was reading this whole thread for the schadenfreude but I'm posting because WHAT THE FUCK BULLSHIT ARE YOU TALKING,RVAN?
All minorities are not the same. Yes, my biracial black ass fully expects an Asian woman to walk the fuck away from white people when they are actively engaging in racist behavior.
Otherwise bitch is wearing the racism like a white hood in a bid to get along which makes her equally complicit no matter her own racial background.
I'm certainly not going to hang out with Hispanic people even if that's the racial makeup of my neighborhood and smile in pictures while someone wears a kimono and parrots racist Asian tropes.
Thank you for saying this. I wanted to say something similar, but as a white woman, felt like I shouldn’t/couldn’t, which tends to be a problem in a lot of these threads. It’s hard to know when it’s our place to say something. But I thought I remembered black posters saying they didn’t like the blanket use of WOC because not all minorities have the same experiences.
I am thoroughly confused now. Also because as a white woman I don't always know what I'm talking about.
What are you observing, exactly? That farmer lives in a white world and doesn’t always handle racism correctly? Why do you think you need to behave in a performative way to correct instead of speaking to her directly? If you are close enough to follow her on Instagram, you should be close enough to PM her and call her out when it happens. The goal is to have her correct the behavior in the future, right? Or is it to show everyone here that you (at large, not you specifically) are better than her at handling these situations?
People are not perfect, and minorities targeted by white supremacy are living very different lives than white ones. Let other WOC get their people when it comes to public shaming. White ladies need to stay out of it and amplify the voices of the WOC and other marginalized people who speak up.
I acknowledge that I'm a work in progress here and can be wrong, but I thought that leaving the onus of calling out either active or complicit behavior on WOC was not okay (I'm looking for a better way to phrase that but it's not connecting right now).
Maybe she should not have left the party, but she stated that one of her friends was wearing a headdress and doing a war cry. That's not okay either. At what point does someone say "I don't want to hang out with people like that, and I certainly don't want to wear themed Halloween costumes with them"?
Right. Old girl is choosing her friends and continuing to hangout with racists. I'm not sure what her neighborhood has to do with it.
I live in Redneckville. I'd prefer to limit my friendships than deal with racists. And this includes people who are nice to me but make derogatory comments about "the illegals".
Also, it should be noted that I didn't bring up anti blackness in my posts except to note that I'm black. Farmville's racism isn't been towards blacks but native americans and latinx.
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
Can we not? Really. Are you taking up for FV? Because whatever you’re looking for is a distinction without a difference. Let’s not relive this.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
Can we not? Really. Are you taking up for FV? Because whatever you’re looking for is a distinction without a difference. Let’s not relive this.
You don't think there's a significant difference between participating in overt racism like pantomiming a war cry and not saying something to her friends? And white posters here should be free to accuse a woman of color of something she didn't do and not have that questioned or corrected? Cool.
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
You're right. FV wasn't the one mocking a war cry but FV did have to recall if her friend had done it. So, not completely far fetched. But what a weird detail to pop in with when this whole thread has been filled with telephone-esque recallings.
Can we not? Really. Are you taking up for FV? Because whatever you’re looking for is a distinction without a difference. Let’s not relive this.
You don't think there's a significant difference between participating in overt racism like pantomiming a war cry and not saying something to her friends? And white posters here should be free to accuse a woman of color of something she didn't do and not have that questioned or corrected? Cool.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
You're right. FV wasn't the one mocking a war cry but FV did have to recall if her friend had done it. So, not completely far fetched. But what a weird detail to pop in with when this whole thread has been filled with telephone-esque recallings.
So basically the message here is "don't worry about what actually happened, just let people make up stories."
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
She did say that actually. There have been some deleted posts but in this thread on page 2 it’s referenced.
I agree that it's not appropriate for white women to put the onus on WOC to call out racism.
But let's remember that the party wasn't just a bystander situation. Farmville said she had to look back at her video to determine whether she was the one mocking a war cry - with the implication that she was doing it, just not on camera. And she acted like it was nbd since she wasn't the one on camera.
WTF?? No. That is not remotely what she said or what happened. Cite your sources.
You have obviously been here the whole damn time and that is where you choose to stick up for her? Well she didn't do it but she was there. Bitch wut. She didn't do it, she was there, and thought well enough of it to post it on IG.
Can we not? Really. Are you taking up for FV? Because whatever you’re looking for is a distinction without a difference. Let’s not relive this.
You don't think there's a significant difference between participating in overt racism like pantomiming a war cry and not saying something to her friends? And white posters here should be free to accuse a woman of color of something she didn't do and not have that questioned or corrected? Cool.
You're right. FV wasn't the one mocking a war cry but FV did have to recall if her friend had done it. So, not completely far fetched. But what a weird detail to pop in with when this whole thread has been filled with telephone-esque recallings.
So basically the message here is "don't worry about what actually happened, just let people make up stories."
No, dumbass. Where were you with all of the other incorrect recallings? I can only speak for myself but it seems insignificant because I already knew how it went down and besides one poster twisting up the events, I didn't see anyone else.
The ones who seem to be actually rewriting history are. Like pants. Where was that call out?
So basically the message here is "don't worry about what actually happened, just let people make up stories."
No, dumbass. Where were you with all of the other incorrect recallings? I can only speak for myself but it seems insignificant because I already knew how it went down and besides one poster twisting up the events, I didn't see anyone else.
The ones who seem to be actually rewriting history are. Like pants. Where was that call out?
Yes. Like saying FV apologized. I remember the thread. I'd hardly call her responses apologies.
So basically the message here is "don't worry about what actually happened, just let people make up stories."
No, dumbass. Where were you with all of the other incorrect recallings? I can only speak for myself but it seems insignificant because I already knew how it went down and besides one poster twisting up the events, I didn't see anyone else.
The ones who seem to be actually rewriting history are. Like pants. Where was that call out?
Please tell me what precisely I am rewriting. Have I changed any of the events that happened?
Farmer went to a "Wild West" party A video was posted with a white person in the background wearing an Indian headdress and imitating a war cry Farmer was called out here Farmer apologized
Is there anything materially incorrect here? I understand my opinion of farmer's apology is not everyone's opinion (wrt her being genuine), but I don't believe I've actually changed the events.
Post by Michael Scott on Jan 25, 2019 16:29:49 GMT -5
"When did I say I was the expert on what's racist? I'm not and I didn't. And I'm sure as hell not rewriting history. I have said clearly and many times what farmer posted was racist and inexcusable. She apologized and said it was egregious and it's not up to me who says that's forgivable. She continues to be my friend and I guess that's all I can say or should have said. "
"I don't think I'm minimizing. There isn't an excuse. Farmer was called out, publicly and privately, and also apologized. If you want to continue to think she's a shit person for all eternity, I guess that's your choice. To jigsy's point there's a whole bunch of people in this post who barely ever interacted with farmer who now are trying to win the woke Olympics. Predictable. "
"I really don't think this is fair. Farmer apologized, repeatedly, and said that people were absolutely right in calling her out. She is not the one who wore a headdress. I don't know what else you expected her to do, but go back in time and not go to that party, or move her whole family to not live next to some racist assholes? "
How it went down was a call out thread, FV saying she didn't do the war cry, then crying about people making personal attacks, then this:
"Well I have no defense, right? I don't know what you expect me to say. If I apologize, I ain't shit. If I say nothing or try to defend myself and/or my friends in any way it's the same result as well. It was a gone western party and I dressed appropriately.
And yes the call out is appropriate and I won't attempt to justify it. I posted the picture bc it's a good friend's birthday but I didn't expect the comments that came immediately after so I deleted it."
Then we got this:
"I'm sorry that I'm not like all of you who claim that you'd call it out when/if you saw it, I'm not perfect. People are saying to re-evaluate the company I keep and I constantly do. These are not my only friends and they aren't who I primarily spend my time with. But I live in this community, my kids play with their kids, they go to the same schools, people here support my business and are kind to me and my family - this is my life. Do you expect me to move? I do the best that I can."
I'll award a 1/2 point for the actual words "I'm sorry" but in no way does this count as an actual apology. LOL
Pages and pages later we get "Why are so many leaps being made!" and then we get this:
"Baje yes I realize it's shitty and racist. If I haven't already acknowledged that I'll say it again. It was horrible judgement on my part to post the picture and the IG stories, and I really don't have an explanation for it. Am I sorry yes I am. Should I have left the party probably. But I didn't. If that makes me a racist to some then anythjng I say won't change their minds. In the moment at the party I was having fun and participating like everyone else, I can't explain myself. And yes I acknowledge that makes me a hypocrite that I was offended by the Ching Chong incident that happened me to me."
Followed up by a - Someone is stalking me and I'm absolutely not a racist, I just make bad judgment calls but in no way am I going to stop posting because I do what I want and if you don't like it, block me.
I mean... apologized profusely seems like a stretch, no?
So when I say you're rewriting history it's because no, it wasn't like she apologized and we're out of line for expecting anything else. ^^^^ That is not how it went down.
No, dumbass. Where were you with all of the other incorrect recallings? I can only speak for myself but it seems insignificant because I already knew how it went down and besides one poster twisting up the events, I didn't see anyone else.
The ones who seem to be actually rewriting history are. Like pants. Where was that call out?
Please tell me what precisely I am rewriting. Have I changed any of the events that happened?
Farmer went to a "Wild West" party A video was posted with a white person in the background wearing an Indian headdress and imitating a war cry Farmer was called out here Farmer apologized
Is there anything materially incorrect here? I understand my opinion of farmer's apology is not everyone's opinion (wrt her being genuine), but I don't believe I've actually changed the events.
No, dumbass. Where were you with all of the other incorrect recallings? I can only speak for myself but it seems insignificant because I already knew how it went down and besides one poster twisting up the events, I didn't see anyone else.
The ones who seem to be actually rewriting history are. Like pants. Where was that call out?
Yes. Like saying FV apologized. I remember the thread. I'd hardly call her responses apologies.
And, like, it’s all still there in the link. Weak apologies, lashing out at natariru.
She didn’t give a fuck then and still doesn’t. And I definitely interpreted her “I had to watch the video” as her seeing if it was her, even after rereading it a bunch of times.