@neworleans I think for me the biggest cause of guilt has been pressure from older family members. MIL has threatened to have DD baptized since she actually believes she will not go to heaven. She gave me 5 ancient handmade baptismal gowns right after birth for DD. She had screaming crying fights with DH about baptizing DD.
My family is also Catholic but moreso the lapsed variety except for my grandparents. They are upset that DD isn’t baptized, and confused since most of my cousins went through it as a family tradition and formality. I was actually married in the Catholic Church (which pretty much lead to my breaking with the Church) so they don’t understand why I wouldn’t follow tradition.
@neworleans I think for me the biggest cause of guilt has been pressure from older family members. MIL has threatened to have DD baptized since she actually believes she will not go to heaven. She gave me 5 ancient handmade baptismal gowns right after birth for DD. She had screaming crying fights with DH about baptizing DD.
My family is also Catholic but moreso the lapsed variety except for my grandparents. They are upset that DD isn’t baptized, and confused since most of my cousins went through it as a family tradition and formality. I was actually married in the Catholic Church (which pretty much lead to my breaking with the Church) so they don’t understand why I wouldn’t follow tradition.
I think the fact that Catholics make up almost 40% of Canadians and 10% more than all other Christian denominations combined (which together are not much more than the non-religious) plays a role in the attitude. I know plenty of people who are/were culturally Catholic, although a good chunk of the millennials I know who fell into that category no longer identify as religious, myself included. I don't remember ever truly believing but I did my sacraments and attended Mass for holidays until I was 20 because it was just what you did.
I was the first person on my mom's family not to get married in a church. I was surprised nobody made a comment, but I think they assumed that since my husband isn't religious it was because of him.
@@@ Even so, I know they expect I will baptize my future children. I am not looking forward to those discussions in a couple years.
People are feeling guilty about choosing to not bring their family into an institution known for harming children; or struggling with not bringing children to an individual place that would gladly, in a hot minute, be complicit in hiding abuse of their children? This does not compute.
For me the struggle is a relationship with God vs the Church. I think faith has a great part in society and in individuals. I think the church can offer a great community. It pisses me off that it’s a safe haven for some of the most fucked up people who walk the earth.
Faith can be a wonderful coping tool to get through life, and I want my girls to have that option. There is something positive about connecting a positive connection to your childhood when things are tough. I *know* faith can be acquired at any point in life, but I particulary like the familiarity I have of it, that began as a child. I have positive memories of bible stories ( yes, made up stories) and my family singing hymns. I am sad they are not getting that. I wish the institution would just revamp already, or I could find peace in another option.