twinmomma - At least here, after the final decree, alimony is closed. Can’t ask for it if you don’t get it and cannot increase it and cannot extend it. That was the biggest relief to me as DH’s ex tried to take him back to court to increase and extend alimony. Her lawyer dumped her and she complained to DH about how unfair it was for months. We were already also paying her mortgage and her car payment. It was crazycakes. So maybe check into that...
Hoping it’s a big enough conference. I sometimes have a hard time finding colleagues I am trying to see at big events - so hope that’s the experience.
I’d trial some overnight sitters for your time that week over the summer. Go away overnight to see how they do. Then you will be able to leave confidently. I am way less worried now when we have to hire an overnight sitter as we have a couple to choose from. The cost sucks but will be greatly reduced by them being in school at least!
Post by supertrooper1 on Jun 21, 2019 11:09:53 GMT -5
My house is pending and finally set to close July 15th. The buyer has been driving both realtors crazy along with STBXH with crazy questions. STBXH keeps bringing up the past owners of our house and the issues we had with them. We owned the house for 8 years, I think everything falls on us now, not the previous owners.
I took several days off from work this week for some fun stuff and some divorce stuff. My lawyer is shaking her head at STBXH requesting alimony and child support when I don't make that much more than him. I went to see Third Eye Blind and thought one of their opening acts, Jimmy Eat World was amazing. I went by myself and made a day out of it; shopping and eating at my favorite restaurants.
I had been trying to get DS into a daycare for the summer that is within walking distance of my house, and they kept jerking me around because they were waiting on commitment from another mom with three kids. I couldn't wait, so I found a 14 year old girl to watch DS at my house. I need backup for her, especially since she can't watch him 2 days next week. I toured the daycare yesterday and don't love it. DS will be safe, but I have a feeling he will be bored. I'm glad it's only my backup but I worry if the 14 year old girl doesn't work out.
twinmomma, Is the one that you plan and organize and really can't miss because it is your responsibility?
DO NOT COMPROMISE here. Do not agree to leaving early or going late. Do not agree to every other year.
Do find child care for your time. Try not to use his mom or family. Your girls are 6? I would try to find a close family friend that would be able to spend the night at the house with them or start looking for an overnight sitter for your nights.
DDOT: DD2 was hurt at daycare this week which resulted in a doctor visit and extra care. DD3 has been sick and not sleeping well. Story of our lives with her as she always has some sort of congestion and runny nose. Turns out she is also wheezing, has a respiratory infection and double ear infection. DH told me that he was leaving Thurs night after work to go away for a guys' weekend at a friend's cabin. DD3 started a fever Wed night and someone needed to stay home with her and get her to the doctor. From events prior in the week, this was DH's day since he was leaving for vacation anyways and I had meetings scheduled all day. I then find out that he was actually leaving at 8am and lied to me so I wouldn't be stressed out. Dude, I have a 7am meeting 30 minutes away so see ya! I'm still pissed about it.
The AC on my less than 2 year old minivan isn't working and the paint is bubbling on the hood.
DS was like you described - always congested, ear infections, sick... poor kid snored awake. I eventually kept a log of it (2 months without a single symptom free day) and we got a referral to ENT who scoped him and determined his airway was almost entirely blocked. He had his adenoids removed a few weeks later and the improvement was amazing.
xctsclrx, No, not the one I plan. This one is like an educational/networking industry one that I go to every year for professional development. I have no intention of compromising. My company already paid for hotel, conference, etc. I'm honestly more concerned with having to run into him constantly and make small talk. I feel like a little kid - "But this is MINE!" but really, it is. I don't want to share my world with him. It'll just put a damper on the whole thing.
k3am, 20 months. DD1 was like this as well and was diagnosed with every environmental allergy you can think of and asthma when she was one. DD3 looks and acts just like her so I won't be surprised if she follows in her footsteps. We have an appointment with the allergist next month. She already saw the ENT and has tubes in her ears.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jun 21, 2019 14:12:55 GMT -5
twinmomma, I hate him so much and I don't even know him.
TWERK: our inspections still haven't been scheduled. At least not to my knowledge. The realtor is an extended family member and seemed to think he'd have some pull with the inspector since they do a lot of houses together. I think he was blowing smoke, which is exactly why I don't want to use him to sell our house. Our offer said we would respond to inspections within 14 days, so we have exactly one week left.
DDOT: In February I had a cyst (there were actually 2) removed from my upper thigh that required stitches. Last Wednesday I had a mole completely extracted from my upper arm because it was the type that usually turns into melanoma. Well, this Wednesday I picked at the hard white spot that has been developing in the middle of the scar from the cyst procedure. It bled like crazy and then from Wednesday night-this morning it developed another hard white spot. I showed the nurse at my appointment to remove my stitches in my arm. She got the doctor and the next thing I know I'm getting numbed up to have my leg cut open again. The doctor that removed the original cysts either didn't get all of both of them or new ones already started growing again. I went to the appt to get 10 stitches removed and left with 3 new ones.
DDOT: One of my boss's biggest clients might be suing my biggest client, so that's neat.
Post by freezorburn on Jun 21, 2019 14:15:22 GMT -5
DDOT: I'm feeling discouraged that I haven't been able to get an interview for an actual open position yet. I've been applying for jobs since January. I've been able to get info interviews, and I know that I still have many stones to turn over, but the sound of crickets is deafening. I have solid credentials. Is it just a numbers game? Am I being eliminated from consideration for some other reason? Is it my age? My break in employment? Some other thing?
2chatter, I was thinking of just picking DD up from the team sleepover at X time but decided against it. DD found out last night and kept asking and my response was we weren't discussing it at the gym. I told her no on the drive home and she took it really well. They do another one over Christmas so will see how I feel about it in 6 months.
twinmomma, I'm sorry. Do you have any family friends that could watch the girls? I would possible ask your family if you think they will be okay with it. I would not worry about covering XH's days. Maybe you will get lucky and XH's new employer wont' send the new guys to the conference.
waverly, I would be pissed. But then my H can't even making a decision about brakes for his truck today. He has called me 3 times plus Midas has called me all getting my opinion, argh.
I'll end up desperately rounding up some help from my siblings and my parents I'm sure. My sister's a teacher so I don't love putting childcare on her the first week of school, but I know she'll do it for me. It'll probably be the real official time when I have to just release control and let the girlfriend fully watch the kids on his days. Blech.
A very late DDOT - we dropped off DD1 at summer camp for 2 weeks. She was very excited, but cried when we left. I felt awful leaving, but I know she’s going to have an amazing time.
My confession: I felt such a sense of relief when we left. I was very stressed out getting her ready, so that could be part of the relief. But a lot of it is that she’s just been so, so tough lately, and DH has been traveling a ton. I just needed a break. DD2 will be at day camp this week, so it will be nice to have a little time to get some stuff done without “help”.
freezorburn, I haven’t job searched in a while, but I know we usually end up hiring referrals rather than candidates who just submit resumes. I’m sure you’re already working the networking!
freezorburn , I haven’t job searched in a while, but I know we usually end up hiring referrals rather than candidates who just submit resumes. I’m sure you’re already working the networking!
For sure. I'm working all the angles I can think of. A few weeks ago I was actually feeling really good about an info interview that I thought might lead to getting an actual job interview, but then that lead went silent.
I've spent this morning making a list of who my next calls need to be.
mommyatty , if he's not working and making enough money, I'd likely end up supporting him with child support and alimony because he could bring me back to court for it. If he has a job, I don't owe him a dime right now. I can't afford to keep the house and pay him any kind of support, so it is what it is. I'm just so pissed/upset that I can't escape his bullshit and will likely spend the week trying to avoid running into him instead of enjoying myself. As for schedules, we split the week.
Enjoying the week in spite of him may spark additional joy during the week knowing that he's witnessing your happiness. Just putting that out there...
I was going to update that we decided to buy the new car and put off the bathroom addition for 1 year.
But then we decided the opposite. No new car because the 3rd row SUVs have no real storage behind the 3rd row unless we get a suburban or a minivan. We looked at the Pilot, Ascent and Highlander and all the same thing. Even the bigger SUV is still the same like the Sequia or Expedition.
waverly, how much space are you looking for behind the third row? We have an Explorer, and we get a decent amount of storage - enough to pack our family of 4 for a week long trip, as long as snow gear is not involved. It's a bit of a game of tetris, but we can make it work. We very rarely ever use the 3rd row as seating though.
waverly, how much space are you looking for behind the third row? We have an Explorer, and we get a decent amount of storage - enough to pack our family of 4 for a week long trip, as long as snow gear is not involved. It's a bit of a game of tetris, but we can make it work. We very rarely ever use the 3rd row as seating though.
Maybe 30 cubic feet behind the 3rd row. All the rest get under 19. Do you always fold down the 3rd row? DH has this perhaps delusional dream that each kid gets a row and room for storage for a week trip.
waverly that’s one reason I went with the Enclave. I can fit a laundry basket behind the 3rd row. It’s the most space I found with the third row up.
But yeah, we couldn’t fit a week’s worth of stuff back there for the whole family. We can if we fold down part of the seat and someone can still sit back there.
We have a roof box that we use for long trips with the family of 5+dog.
Unfortunately GM vehicles do not have adaptive cruise control. Ford is an option but it’s still only 2 cubic feet bigger than what he looked at.
We are being picky because it’s a lot of money and not the best financial decision to get a new car right now. It’s another item more in the want than need category. DH had 3 kids in his family growing up, and his dad could trade in the company car for a huge 11 passenger van, so I think his expectations are too high. As DS moves out of his booster and DD moves to a backless booster there will be more room. I think we are fine for now and if we need something in the future likely it would be a better financial decision at that time and maybe technology for the GMs will be better then.
We also have options of trailers with storage or possibly buying a cheap used camper type thing.
waverly, how much space are you looking for behind the third row? We have an Explorer, and we get a decent amount of storage - enough to pack our family of 4 for a week long trip, as long as snow gear is not involved. It's a bit of a game of tetris, but we can make it work. We very rarely ever use the 3rd row as seating though.
Maybe 30 cubic feet behind the 3rd row. All the rest get under 19. Do you always fold down the 3rd row? DH has this perhaps delusional dream that each kid gets a row and room for storage for a week trip.
We use the third row when we need to, but for every day use, it’s down flat because I may or may not take naps in it at work. For grocery trips or certain packing scenarios, I change the configuration to have deeper storage.
The third row of any SUV is marginally comfortable at best. If your priority is separate rows for long car rides and still having storage space, I think you’re graduating mini van territory.
waverly - did you look at the VW Atlas? The storage isn’t huge with the 3rd row up, but it’s decent (20.6 cu ft). It does have adaptive cruise control, and the 3rd row is quite comfortable. I’m 5’6” and all leg, and I’ve sat back there several times for hour-long car trips and been fine. We use the 3rd row any time we have a friend in the car because DD2 is still in a 5pt harness.
I’ve had mine for about a year. At that time, I was looking at the Mazda CX-9 as well. I loved the Mazda, but the warranty on the Atlas was much better at that time, so I chose the Atlas. The Mazda is much smaller (14.8 cu ft) so probably not right for you.
Yup he can’t have all that he wants unless it’s a minivan or suburban and he doesn’t want that big of a car. Driving me slightly crazy over here but I think the decision stands to just keep what we have because it did work perfectly fine. If the goal is less fighting for the kids then that will be more on us to set expectations and discipline. If the goal is more cargo there are ways to add in. If the goal is more passenger space several inches will be gained with car seat graduation. Plus they like being together and playing cards with the center console pulled down. In a few years we may have a better idea of what we want and usage. I feel like he is all over the place with it.
@mae111, We also dropped DS off at camp Sunday. Friday is pick up. I hope he loves it. I was nervous on packing and drop off. Slightly better now I just wish he could tell me he is doing OK. They upload pictures so DH and I have both been stalking it.
@mae111, We also dropped DS off at camp Sunday. Friday is pick up. I hope he loves it. I was nervous on packing and drop off. Slightly better now I just wish he could tell me he is doing OK. They upload pictures so DH and I have both been stalking it.
Same with the photos!! I actually emailed the camp Director because I’m a crazy person. I hadn’t heard a word from her and it was killing me! They called me and told me that she’s having a great time, and gave me some details on her activities. It calmed me down a bit. But I don’t know if I can last another week and a half with no updates other than random photos!!
Post by librarychica on Jun 26, 2019 8:44:06 GMT -5
I really want to send my kids to camp (I always wanted to go as a kid but no one I knew went) but these descriptions are nerve-wracking. I’m sure they’re having a great time!
Post by librarychica on Jun 26, 2019 8:49:14 GMT -5
I have a twerk. A few weeks ago I was belly-aching about the lack of community here and then last weekend we visited old friends in our old area and they were leaning on me hard to move back (preferably to the epic house for sale two doors down from their epic house to the tune of returning to an hour+ commute and doubling my mortgage so not happening) and I was feeling sorry for myself. But yesterday I reached out again to someone I’d talked to about getting our kids together and she texted back and now we are going over there Saturday. I’ve hosted a few “play dates” but that has been one lady dropping her kid off on the driveway and not even coming inside and never reciprocating so I am thrilled that DD1 and I were invited somewhere. 7 years old and her first play date, lol. I’m bringing homemade muffins for snack and a tea basket for the mom since she’s been sick.