TWERK: DD has figured out hanging out at the office with mom all week isn't fun and she would much rather go to Ad Club!!!
DDOT: DD got invited to the gym team sleepover Saturday. I haven't told her about it. We just started sleepovers with good friends. I'm not ready to drop her off at the gym at 5 and not pick her back up until 9 the next day. Team sleepovers is supervised by the oldest optional girls so a couple 16 year old girls. Head coach hangs in the evening and comes back in the morning for pick up but doesn't stay over. I guess I'm not comfortable with the non-adult aspect of the sleepover. DD just turned 8.
186momx - I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.
TWERK: I was offered the promotion I asked for - but I think I am going to turn it down. Ugh. I need to sit down with the CEO and CFO and talk this all out, but I am so conflicted.
Post by librarychica on Jun 20, 2019 12:29:51 GMT -5
I am back from the beach vacation with my in-laws. It went okay. The beach was nice, the kids enjoyed seeing their cousins and maybe enjoyed seeing their grandparents (hard to tell honestly) and FIL got our once-a-decade argument out of the way.
This is the way it goes. I bite my tongue, I bite my tongue, I bite it some more. Something finally sets me off and I lose my temper a bit. He complains to H that I am not “properly respectful,” this time with a side of “your daughters snub my physical affection and are also not properly respectful.”
Ten years ago H tried to justify my behavior and gave me a different cultures speech. This weekend H told him bluntly that I try my damndest to get along and respect my in-laws’ views of the world and that if he cannot tolerate a once a decade reminder that I am not a Latin woman from the 60s and that my kids and I are reserved with physical contact, well, then we just won’t come around as much and he won’t be so burdened.
Post by covergirl82 on Jun 20, 2019 13:20:23 GMT -5
186momx, I wouldn't be comfortable with that either. DH and I decided no sleepovers until 8 years old, and ones DS has gone to are smaller groups and supervised by parents we know. DD has only had two sleepovers, with one friend each time, at our house.
Thanks ladies. My immediate family thinks I'm being over protective including DH. They usually do this multiple times a year so I will reconsider it at the next sleepover when she will officially be on team.
librarychica, I'm glad YH stood up for you and the kids this time.
TWERK - My boss and I were discussing possibly new responsibilities for my team. I said I was fine with it if: 1. We are not reporting to multiple people multiple things 2. The responsibilities are streamlined. 3. The streamlining is under me 4. I move up in rank.
I am still plugging away. I talked to another director and she doesn't see what the hold up or problem is. I do. If it doesn't directly affect and benefit my supervisor, she can't seem to make it stick anywhere near her radar.
Post by covergirl82 on Jun 20, 2019 15:47:00 GMT -5
TWERK - The HR generalist who supports DH's area accidentally told me that DH's upline mentioned to him (the HR generalist) that DH's pay range needs review. So that is good news and hopefully it gets updated before the salary planning cutoff.
Would you be upset if you H bought a car behind your back? He didn’t but he almost did until I found out and said no. I’ve never even looked at the car. And we are leaving on vacation tomorrow morning early. I wanted to work late and get stuff done before vacation but dealing with him, I just left on time, so it messed up my schedule as well.
I am super pissed because we talked about it for a year and decided no and he had to try to go be spontaneous.
waverly my DH recently put down a refundable deposit on a car (an electric truck coming out next year) without telling me. But in our relationship DH is the really frugal one and I’m the one always trying to convince him to buy fun things for himself. We tend to stay out of each other’s car decisions - he hates my Buick Enclave but was supportive of me getting it.
I think the bigger issue is that your DH should have known that you wouldn’t be ok with that.
waverly, I would be furious. That is a MAJOR purchase to do without consulting you. Spontaneity shouldn't apply to major expenses that impact the family budget.
waverly, I was upset that DH bough a truck after hearing about it for a year. Vehicles are major purchases in my world. That is a chunk of budget if it's anything remotely new.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jun 21, 2019 8:01:37 GMT -5
waverly cars are at the very top of our list of things to not buy without discussing. In the last 11 years I've only ever test driven 1 car without DH and that was to see if it was worth him test driving it. Combined we've had 8 different vehicles in those 11 years.
DH sort of did this. He went to test drive because his lease was up 3-4 months later. We agreed on an amount to spend IN 3-4 MONTHS, knowing that my 10-year old car was in rough shape and also needed to be replaced. Next thing I knew he was calling me for info because he was signing a new lease for $150/month more than what we’d discussed.
waverly, Yes that would be an issue. DH typically does all of the leg work on cars, and then test drives a bunch to narrow down what he would like (he is much pickier than I am). And then I go and test drive whatever the ones he has narrowed to are. Thankfully he has good taste, we just got a Rav 4 hybrid, which I really like.
I accidentally killed DS's fish last night. I was cleaning the tank and had him in a cup of water. He jumped out of the cup and off the counter onto the floor. I had to shoo DD out of the way so that I could get into the corner and scoop him up and get him back in water. I did, but he didn't make it through the night.....now I need to go and clean his tank again and get the dead fish out.
@mom186x - it’s common here for parents to pick up younger kids from big events like that - could you let her go until midnight or whenever the adults leave and tell her you will revisit when she is 9 or 10? It’s weird to me the adults leave, but little kids often leave overnights after a certain point.
waverly - I do all the car research and negotiation here and I would never, ever consider that. DH’s last car we completed the deal and then he went back to do the paperwork. It wasn’t until he read the papers that he realized he was buying a navy blue car, not a black car. He was shocked. It still cracks me up.
I am SO looking forward to next week. DH flies out Sunday and the kids have evening VBS and this year I am not volunteering. I am doing a couple happy hours (one walking distance from my house) and watching reality tv in the house alone. I’m so excited. Easy dinners of sandwich type stuff and a super relaxing week.
twinmomma - it’s a total dive but they have a shaded patio and the beer is cheap. It used to be a Burger King. It recently changed ownership because the mass shooting up the main street from us - the shooter told the bartenders what he was going to do and showed them a weapon and they didn’t call anyone. He then went and did it after being allegedly over served. The former owner settled and gave up their business license in lieu of financial remuneration. It is now a little nicer with new owners. I go there for the walkability.
waverly, I would be furious. That is a MAJOR purchase to do without consulting you. Spontaneity shouldn't apply to major expenses that impact the family budget.
waverly I think it depends on the dynamics of your relationship. My sister and her husband regularly buy big ticket items without consulting the other. It works for them. It baffles me. DH and I? I don't think either of us has spent more than a couple hundred without first consulting the other.
Since you guys are clearly on my side of the bench, yep. Pissed.
DDOT: DH has been trying to help out by taking more responsibility for getting stuff done. Which I generally support. But his latest? He had the gardener trim our trees. GARDENERS DO NOT CUT TREES. And apparently, DH told him our BIRCH TREE needed TOPPING. Birch trees don't need topping. It is so awful and I'm furious. I think he's sick of me talking about it.
I think I'm going to end up paying a ton to have it removed because DH wants to take short cuts for everything. But I can't look at it without getting irrationally upset. I never thought a tree would get me so emotional.
Yeah I was pissed because I hadn’t even sat in the car. We decided no but if wanted it that bad we can make it work financially but don’t just spring it in me last minute with no warning, and it would be a bigger loan.
The dealership promised him something and then took it away so he fell for their hard sale at first anyway since he didn’t get the car. So many things he was doing this morning he could have been doing yesterday since he “had the day off” but apparently was on phone calls at the dealership.
DDOT: Every year I go to an industry conference. It's like the highlight of my year, super fun, super educational, very big deal. I get to go away for the week and totally immerse myself in fun, geeky goodness. Guess who got a new job in the same industry and is now supposed to attend the same conference? ExH. The conference is the first week of school. How the hell are we going to juggle both of us being away the same week? PLUS, do not want to share my awesome career world with him. It's my world, dammit.
DDOT: Every year I go to an industry conference. It's like the highlight of my year, super fun, super educational, very big deal. I get to go away for the week and totally immerse myself in fun, geeky goodness. Guess who got a new job in the same industry and is now supposed to attend the same conference? ExH. The conference is the first week of school. How the hell are we going to juggle both of us being away the same week? PLUS, do not want to share my awesome career world with him. It's my world, dammit.
Whose week is it to have the kids? Or do you guys split weeks in half? I would say whoever is supposed to have the kids will be responsible for figuring out what to o with them.
And he’s a total idiot for entering your industry since you could easily burn his career down before it even starts. And in all honesty? I would. He can try to make a living doing summer stock and dinner theater. That’s the world he always wanted to inhabit, except you and the kids and his teaching job always got in the way, right?
mommyatty, if he's not working and making enough money, I'd likely end up supporting him with child support and alimony because he could bring me back to court for it. If he has a job, I don't owe him a dime right now. I can't afford to keep the house and pay him any kind of support, so it is what it is. I'm just so pissed/upset that I can't escape his bullshit and will likely spend the week trying to avoid running into him instead of enjoying myself. As for schedules, we split the week.