Post by covergirl82 on Jul 22, 2019 9:14:37 GMT -5
It was such a busy weekend. Friday was DS's friend birthday party, which we had at our house. Eight boys were there from around noon - 3:00. I spent the morning getting the house ready and set up, then DH and I spent an hour after the party cleaning up. (DH left work early to come home and help.) Then we went to dinner and then over to a Little League All-Star game (one of DS's friend's older brother was playing.) Then back home and the kids had a friend over for a sleepover.
We had un-forecasted thunderstorms roll through early Saturday morning from around 2-4 am. Our power flickered twice, but thankfully stayed on. (Usually, that's not the case; we lose power pretty easily in a moderate or severe thunderstorm. Some people in our area are still without power, and it isn't scheduled to be back on until tomorrow or Wednesday.) And thankfully all the kids stayed asleep during the storm.
Saturday morning I had to get groceries for a birthday lunch with grandparents. After that, we went to a birthday dinner out for DS. Then we came home and I did a bunch of laundry just in case we lost power again (due to forecasted thunderstorms, which then never happened).
Sunday we all went to an MLB game (2.5 hours away), which was our b-day gift to DS. He apparently had birthday luck, as he was picked to do an on-screen between-inning game, and then one of the players from our MLB team (home team) threw a ball to DS later in the game.
But now I'm exhausted and it's going to be a busy week at work. Plus we have something every night this week. It's me and DH's 13th anniversary, so we're going out to dinner tonight, kind of last-minute. Our daytime nanny can stay later, so we thought it would be nice to celebrate on the actual day of our anniversary.
We took a spontaneous trip to the beach (2 hrs away), and it was a great weekend!! Its kind of "out of the norm" for us to be spontaneous like that (lol), so it was nice. DH was off the whole weekend (he has shift work, so he usually has to work at least 1 day of the weekend) so he was wanting to get out of town.
So we packed up & hit the road Saturday morning. Got to the hotel @ 1p.m. and had lunch by the pool, then hit the beach! We also had our kids go to the kids' club Saturday night, and we had dinner on the patio overlooking the ocean. Great little weekend!
Great weekend. DD and I swam at the neighbors Saturday and then swam at another friends house Saturday night. DS had a get together that DH monitored since he stayed home because he had to work Sunday. DS was annoyed that the girls just came in and sat on their phones all night and were not interested in his bonfire or playing pool and darts.
Sunday, I pretty much spent my entire paycheck, the part that didn't got to DS's DC trip, on school clothes and supplies. DD is set up for school with plenty of clothes and shoes for and upstanding Freshman. She also needed new kneepads for volleyball. DS needed a decent outfit for a dinner on his trip plus more athletic shorts. We also bought all of his travel sized toiletries.
We received notice that the "store" was open at the high school where you buy all of your fan and team gear. Volleyball shoes are $100 Nikes, $50 for a logo backpack and plus a hoodie are on her list. Now I am trying to figure out what everyone is getting. The coach is like, it's not mandatory. Great. But just tell me, does everyone have a backpack? Are we all getting the $100 shoes? Because there are $50 shoes at Academy, but not the Nike.
People complain about all of these kids here not being involved and getting into trouble. But how does a family living paycheck to paycheck keep their kids involved? Sometimes I am overwhelmed with it, especially when I shell out $400 for a trip, $200 worth of gear on top of all the clothes needed and school supplies, in the course of 3 days.
My weekend was supposed to be quiet but then DH's plans got cancelled. This turned into us shampooing the living room since he was home. Then DH was like it's empty so why don't you paint the ceiling (he knew it was on the never ending to do list) so we painted the popcorn ceiling. DH took DD to her swim b-day party while I painted. Then we ended up painting the walls on Sunday plus DD painted the fireplace bricks and the dog got a bath. I'm exhausted and so happy to just chill at work.
Leaving for our trip to Seattle on Thursday. I feel very unprepared and so scatterbrained over the whole trip. Nothing seems to be working right between hotel reservation fiasco to DH not wanting to even think about it until we get there. I'll be so happy for next Monday.
Post by sandandsea on Jul 22, 2019 11:12:40 GMT -5
Friday night we used the parents night out at daycare and went out to a nice dinner. It was great.
Saturday Dh and I worked most the day while the boys played at home. Dh did work work and hobby work and was busy all day. Then we went to church Sat evening.
Sunday I took the boys to a local amusement park for 5 hours and was home by 3 to clean the house, vacuum my car, etc. while dh did more hobby stuff. He got back around 6 and proceeded to go get a haircut before coming home. I was beyond annoyed as I expected him to be home around 4ish and he had just said the boys need haircuts and never offered to take them with him. Yeah, it’s hard to take them but if you’re going anyway you should suck it up and take them. So the boys will keep longer hair, which I like better anyway.
The lions share of home stuff falls on me since Dh works crazier hours and has a time consuming hobby but there are times I am over it and get irrationally annoyed and yesterday was it. It doesn’t help that I’ve been working 55-60 hours a week for the past few months which is also taking its toll.
Friday night we used the parents night out at daycare and went out to a nice dinner. It was great.
Saturday Dh and I worked most the day while the boys played at home. Dh did work work and hobby work and was busy all day. Then we went to church Sat evening.
Sunday I took the boys to a local amusement park for 5 hours and was home by 3 to clean the house, vacuum my car, etc. while dh did more hobby stuff. He got back around 6 and proceeded to go get a haircut before coming home. I was beyond annoyed as I expected him to be home around 4ish and he had just said the boys need haircuts and never offered to take them with him. Yeah, it’s hard to take them but if you’re going anyway you should suck it up and take them. So the boys will keep longer hair, which I like better anyway.
The lions share of home stuff falls on me since Dh works crazier hours and has a time consuming hobby but there are times I am over it and get irrationally annoyed and yesterday was it. It doesn’t help that I’ve been working 55-60 hours a week for the past few months which is also taking its toll.
What hobby does your DH have? I would have been pissed that he didn't take the boys with him for a haircut!! And he had just mentioned that they needed one? Ugh.
We had a date night with friends Friday night, which was a lot of fun. We had drinks then dinner then dessert at 3 different places.
Saturday I took the kids to a children's museum we hadn't visited yet. We're members of the children's museum in downtown San Diego, but it closes due to Comic-Con, and they gave us free admission to some other museums, so I figured I'd take advantage of checking out a new place. Then we met friends for lunch and then swam in the afternoon. Sunday morning I took the kids to the beach while DH did yard work (which could easily be outsourced, but he won't spend the money), and then we swam in the afternoon at home. I was reminded again of how much easier it's gotten to take the kids to the beach and how I need to do it more often - DD had a great time boogie-boarding and playing in the waves, and the boys had fun in the sand.
I also organized the house a bit. For the first time in two months, I feel like all potential laundry is clean and put away
Post by librarychica on Jul 22, 2019 11:55:14 GMT -5
The weekend had highs and lows. DD1 was at my parents’ all weekend so Friday night I took DD2 out for ice cream and then Saturday we took her to sea World for a few hours. That afternoon I cleaned and the house was so nice (until they came home Sunday with bags of nonsense from my parents but that’s skipping ahead).
Sunday was a mess. I exercised while H took DD2 to swim. After swim lessons, I took her to my parents to visit and get her sister. The kids fought terribly at my parents, DD2 took it waaaay to far — hitting me and telling DD1 that she hates her with her heart which made DD1 cry, mom thinks I should spank DD2 if she hits me and wanted to tell me all about it and then my puppy bit my dad. I'm pretty sure my parents think I'm incompetent now.
Of course we got home and they played nicely, cleaned the playroom and went to bed by 8. Wtf kids.
H told me this morning that he is traveling for a second week next month. He’s traveling 25-50% every month for the next 6 months and I nearly had a panic attack at my desk. I realize this is an overreaction but I just ... couldn’t deal.
Post by traveltheworld on Jul 22, 2019 12:08:30 GMT -5
We had a great weekend. A friend that I used to work with was in town with her family so we had them over for dinner Friday night. She's now a partner at a major law firm, we reminisced about our junior days, commiserated about being a working mom with a busy career in a heavily male dominated speciality, and got to talking about what we could / should do to help promote women in our profession. I had a blast. And DH and her DH got along really well too. Too bad we don't live in the same city.
Then Saturday I took DD to her friend's birthday party and she actually talked to the other kids; and yesterday we took the kids to a local carnival. It was the perfect mix of friends / active : relax time.
Weekend was OK. It was soooo hot here - heat index was around 110 degrees. OMG New Englanders are not built for that heat. Our plan was to spend most of the weekend in the pool, but the kids fought for the majority of the time that we were out there. We kept pulling them out and having individual time outs, and at one point we made them get out and change into dry clothes and stay out for over an hour. DD2 accepted the punishment and did as she was told. DD1 cried and tantrumed and carried on and took close to 45 minutes to finally calm down. So on Sunday we warned them ahead of time that they were on a short leash with the fighting... and DD1 was mean as could be... so she was removed from the pool and not allowed back in. We told her she didn't have to stay out in the heat, but she could if she wanted to... but was not getting back in.
It's really sad how much DD1 changes the dynamic of the family. Sending her to camp gave us all the ability to breathe again. I found a little of my old self. DD2 was visibly more relaxed. DH traveled the whole time, but for once, he could do it without constant worry about what was happening at home. It hurts my heart.
We are on the wait list for a really good therapist. I'm very hopeful that she can help.
sandandsea, this is DH with the hobby stuff. He wouldn’t admit it and would gripe about it, but home repair was his hobby. Also gardening and brewing beer. However since they feel like chores also then he could say look what I did. Some was helpful- a lot actually, and some didn’t need to be done it was just him not wanting to deal with other stuff, and some could have been hired out. He is less into that with some pushback from me. But it persists a little.
I’ve learned to get out of the house. If he is there I just leave. I kind of tell him sometimes not every little tiny trip. His hobby is also breakfast out and sometimes I opt out. But the reaction to that is now he has to deal with the kids- it’s not me 100% of the time which gets pretty funny when they annoy him. Because otherwise they are annoying me. Sat he took them to breakfast and I cleaned. When he got back he started cleaning but making it look dirtier so I was like i’ve got errands and I got from 9-12 childfree it was great. So push back on those hobbies if he is in the house. Talking didn’t help- it requires me leaving the house without kids.
Sat night was a great concert. I tried to do a lot in Sat do I could relax Sun but still it’s of chores Sun which makes me think I’ve got to block my chores better otherwise it feels like it is all weekend. Or we need to do a day trip. I’m sore today from the concert plus working out.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jul 22, 2019 12:41:22 GMT -5
I took Friday and today off for a mini vacation with DS. Friday we drove a fee hours to a hotel and went to see my favorite 90s singer at a concert in a park. Traffic was horrible, it took 5 hours instead of 3. But it was a fun overnight trip. Yesterday we went to my parents' house for dinner and helped them put up some hay. It had been a long time since I had hayed. It was hot but luckily was only 80 bales. The way my mom talked when she asked me to help, I thought it would be several hundred bales. Today DS and I will spend the morning relaxing and then go visit my parents at their campsite over an hour away.
We had no plans this weekend. It was wonderful. I got stuff done around the house, started selling off baby stuff, etc. Yesterday we ended up going to a friend's house to swim... it was a nice time, but it's really driving home that I'm getting antisocial... but honestly, I always feel like I put my foot in my mouth and say things I shouldn't say or wish I hadn't said. And then I get really overly focused on the fact, and spend the first hour in bed thinking about what I shouldn't have said and how it would have been easier to just not have been out and saying anything...
k3am , this sounds like me to the tee. Well I wouldn't say I spend an hour on it, but I kind of look back and cringe. Some of the things I did were baaad, and some it is not bad. And for me, who knows what they even remember or take offense to. Someone super offended me and she has no idea and probably spend no time on it. No one else I really remember that well. So hopefully they forget too. Bad memories can be a good thing.
But I am also anti social. I have lots of reasons, but I think the main one that we all have (except the super social ones here) is that we work full time and sometimes just want to rest and relax on the weekend. Like I could have a party, but I don't really like to host, and they are a lot of work. I could text someone for a play date, but the kids are in camp and school and aftercare together, so they already see each other like 50 hours a week, so I don't feel super guilty that they need more playtime. We have vacation then family coming so that takes care of the next 3 weekends, so there are some schedule issues. Then school starts and soccer and scouts etc. I would rather see people at organized events, except sometimes I don't feel much like chatting, or it seems a little bit high school ish (not too often but sometimes). At the end of the day, I just don't have the energy to do a ton, and a lot of events all happen at the same time, so it's always a choice birthday party or play, date night or hang out with friends. I am doing a girls weekend that someone else organized. If it were up to me, I just wouldn't want to spend the time organizing.
But I am also anti social. I have lots of reasons, but I think the main one that we all have (except the super social ones here) is that we work full time and sometimes just want to rest and relax on the weekend.
So much of this. The friend's we were at is SAHM, and she's pretty connected in the SAHM community so she has a lot of friends and activities going on (or it appears that way to me anyways). VS I just kept talking about our one trip with our one mutual friend because.. honestly? That's the only thing outside of work/errands/sports that I've done in months that talk about worthy. My alternative is to talk about.. work, working out, sleeping, and the "picnics" the neighborhood kids insist on doing right before meals. Exciting.
Post by sandandsea on Jul 22, 2019 15:21:04 GMT -5
Dh races and it takes a ton of work to prep for a race. This weekend was cleaning motors and shipping to be rebuilt and dropping stuff off to the team who is driving all the equipment to the next race (it’s several states away). So he wasn’t having fun with it per se but he wasn’t helping with the kids and the kids were being nuts and driving me nuts.
Dh races and it takes a ton of work to prep for a race. This weekend was cleaning motors and shipping to be rebuilt and dropping stuff off to the team who is driving all the equipment to the next race (it’s several states away). So he wasn’t having fun with it per se but he wasn’t helping with the kids and the kids were being nuts and driving me nuts.
Was he home in the garage? I think my kids are older (8 and 6) so you might not be there yet, but I would leave the kids in the house and tell them see your dad in the garage if you need anything.
Or take both kids with me to pool.
Or leave the oldest and least likely to hurt themselves with dad, then take the other one out for a just mom and me day or event. We've done movies because DD likes them and DS does not. It's not fair that they get to do hobbies for so many hours. He can take the oldest with him to drop off equipment.
Dh races and it takes a ton of work to prep for a race. This weekend was cleaning motors and shipping to be rebuilt and dropping stuff off to the team who is driving all the equipment to the next race (it’s several states away). So he wasn’t having fun with it per se but he wasn’t helping with the kids and the kids were being nuts and driving me nuts.
Ah gotcha. I had a good friend when I was younger who was very into racing, and I remember how much time he put into it! Now he works for a NASCAR team so i guess you could say all his hard work paid off.
Also, solidarity to the kids "being nuts and driving you nuts." This happens to me as well. lol
Saturday we packed up from a week at a campground and headed home. We unpacked in the heat and I knocked out the cleaning. Then we went to my parents pool with friends.
Sunday I did a Humid and sweaty long trail run, 10 miles. We went back to the pool again bc it is so blistering hot.
waverly, k3am, that's me too. I went to a winery w friends a few weeks ago and they just thought I was so funny. Like Campermoms out of the house--whoop and they loved seeing me like that. In reality it was "I'm so glad campermom is letting loose, she's fun!" But in my head I was regretful....of what? I dk. I didn't do anything embarrassing. But I actually woke up several times that night rethinking the day.
Realistically though, I was just hanging out with friends. I think I'm socially awkward when really I don't think that's the case.
campermom, I feel like I come across as gossipy and judgemental. Maybe I am. (Let's be honest, I probably am.. I'm not sure where I am on the spectrum of gossipy/judgemental compared to the average person though) But that's not how I want to be or others to see me. But then I just... talk, and make it known to everyone.
campermom, I feel like I come across as gossipy and judgemental. Maybe I am. (Let's be honest, I probably am.. I'm not sure where I am on the spectrum of gossipy/judgemental compared to the average person though) But that's not how I want to be or others to see me. But then I just... talk, and make it known to everyone.
You don’t come across judgmental here. I used to be way more judgy but then life happened and I was like we all are struggling so let’s help each other. And I’m not really the most helpful due to my schedule so I’m more a calming presence.
But somewhere along the line I developed social anxiety or avoidance or something. It’s not terrible but certain people bring it out and DH brings it out sometimes when he plans because I’m always taken aback and clueless because I don’t know what was planned and he’s not the best communicator so..... And then he’ll text our friends and doesn't tell me so I can’t text them about plans because he maybe did already so now we are stalking them. It’s a mess but mostly just with the one couple.
campermom, I feel like I come across as gossipy and judgemental. Maybe I am. (Let's be honest, I probably am.. I'm not sure where I am on the spectrum of gossipy/judgemental compared to the average person though) But that's not how I want to be or others to see me. But then I just... talk, and make it known to everyone.
I worry about the exact same thing and always second guess what I do or don’t say.
Post by sandandsea on Jul 22, 2019 21:15:24 GMT -5
No dh had to drive to the track Sunday which is a couple of hours away so I was stuck. Saturday he was working in the garage and got a good dose of the boys playing outside.
waverly, k3am, that's me too. I went to a winery w friends a few weeks ago and they just thought I was so funny. Like Campermoms out of the house--whoop and they loved seeing me like that. In reality it was "I'm so glad campermom is letting loose, she's fun!" But in my head I was regretful....of what? I dk. I didn't do anything embarrassing. But I actually woke up several times that night rethinking the day.
Realistically though, I was just hanging out with friends. I think I'm socially awkward when really I don't think that's the case.
A bad case of the worries.
I do this as well. I also worry I got too chatty and dominated the conversation. It helps when I tell myself “no one is thinking this much about your behavior but you.”