Oh, and I took a pregnancy crossfitesque class. Like, designed for pregnant women so it was actually a work out (regular fitness classes, the instructors were often squirrely about what I could do, and when I was on lift restriction the pregnancy class had good modifications).
Helped me to keep my hormone rage under control and to get out a 9lb baby with the head circumference of a 3 month old in 2 hours of labor, total.
This is interesting b/c it is age 35 by definition. My friends who were 35 or older were treated as such. It wasn’t much difference, some extra testing, maybe a scan.
I agree with this and my friend is an L&D nurse and will tell you the same.
Same. My OB does order extra testing and US for over 35, but the maternal fetal medicine dr who did my ultrasounds said I was a "young" AMA at 39 and said the testing was routine. He was awesome, I loved him. Where I live, it is not uncommon for people to have their first babies over 35.
For DD1 I was 35 and got pregnant the first month, had her at 36. I was shocked, everything I had "heard" made me think it would take way longer and I was prepared for it to take a year and already thinking about what our next steps would be. Very happy surprise. For DD2, I was 38 and got pregnant in 3 months, had her at 39.
I was already tracking my cycles in Fertility Friend for over a year with basal body temp before we actively started trying. I'd recommend starting to do that early. I had very regular cycles and clear ovulation by temp rise, which is probably why I was able to get pregnant so quickly.
carrotsmakemefat: I also read a study somewhere that said that fertility doesn't really start to drop until your late 30s (38/39), but that they tend to group women 35-40 together. So basically statistics underestimate fertility in your mid 30s, but over estimates it for your late 30s/closer to 40. If you are just turning 35, I wouldn't stress about it too much unless you have another underlying issue (eg. PCOS).
Post by Aloe Vera on Sept 19, 2019 10:07:37 GMT -5
I am pregnant right now and I am 37. My H is 38. I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle. So far, baby is looking healthy. I got all the genetic testing done because it was covered by my insurance. My practice offers them to anyone regardless of age.
I've been taking prenatal vitamins for a long time as it is recommended for all women of childbearing age. I get whatever gummy ones are on sale and I have never been sick from them. I did get some testing done just for peace of mind. Everything (hormones, ultrasounds ...) came back totally normal. Just looking at my hormone levels (AMH...) a doctor would have been unable to tell I was over 35. I read a lot of studies on fertility and honestly, it only starts to really diminish after 40. But keep in mind it's not true for everyone. Turning 35 won't make your eggs become old overnight. Genetics play a huge part of it. Some women have a diminished ovarian reserve in their 20s. Some still have a strong ovarian reserve at 40. Your chances of having a baby with down syndrome until 40 are also still less than 1%. Hearing people in general, you would think after 35, your risk was 50% . People still try to ask me roundabout questions because of my age "shouldn't you see your doctor every week?!". Aren't you more tired than a younger person?!".
My practice never considered me a high risk pregnancy. All the blood tests, blood pressure, genetic tests were totally normal. They told me my age wasn't a factor. They look at the scientific data in front of them and your genetic history. I am not even seeing an OBGYN. Just a midwife.
In the end, I would say having a healthy lifestyle and healthy weight is important for you but also for your partner. That's the one thing you can control. Stop smoking, lose some weight if your BMI is on the higher end, reduce alcohol consumption and stay off drugs.
ETA: I agree about downloading the Fertility Friend app and taking your temp every day and doing OPKs. I learned a lot about my cycles and we were able to target when to have sex and when to stop. I never ovulated on cycle day 14. It was usually CD17 (based on 11 months of tracking meticulously).
ETA #2: you'll realize a lot of people are clueless about getting and being pregnant in 2019. My MIL had 5 kids but things have changed a TON since then. And a lot of my SILs have been pregnant in the last decade so her knowledge got a refresher but still. She was unaware you could know the gender as early as 9 weeks through DNA testing (NIPT). When we told her we knew the gender, she told us there was room for error. I had to remind her it was not through an ultrasound but from DNA.
Even hearing from my friend who got pregnant in 2013, things are very different (tests available, standard of care...). Things change fast.
Once we got married we would have been ok with an "oops" pregnancy, so we used only a fertility monitor for birth control. When we decided to have a baby, I got pregnant immediately and it was definitely because of the monitor. It was really interesting to be so in tune with the cycle. I had really, really regular cycles, but it would also help to alert you if you don't. Aside from that, I was tested to see if I had immunity to chicken pox and if I was a carrier for CP genes. The only other advice is to say I agree with what's already been said - if you have any trouble, go right to an RE. After my 1st miscarriage my gyn sent me right to one.
I should also mention there's a subboard called Trouble TTC - you get a lot of good info and can ask any questions. It's a small group of us but a lot of us have been through IVF or at least IUI's.
Post by sandandsea on Sept 19, 2019 11:08:21 GMT -5
I had my first at 31 (took 4 months to conceive ) and had my second at 35 (took 1 month). I think it’s very individual specific more than age specific. Losing the bay weight both times was nearly impossible but I have a hypothyroid so that makes it harder.
I am pregnant right now and I am 37. My H is 38. I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle. So far, baby is looking healthy. I got all the genetic testing done because it was covered by my insurance. My practice offers them to anyone regardless of age.
I've been taking prenatal vitamins for a long time as it is recommended for all women of childbearing age. I get whatever gummy ones are on sale and I have never been sick from them. I did get some testing done just for peace of mind. Everything (hormones, ultrasounds ...) came back totally normal. Just looking at my hormone levels (AMH...) a doctor would have been unable to tell I was over 35. I read a lot of studies on fertility and honestly, it only starts to really diminish after 40. But keep in mind it's not true for everyone. Turning 35 won't make your eggs become old overnight. Genetics play a huge part of it. Some women have a diminished ovarian reserve in their 20s. Some still have a strong ovarian reserve at 40. Your chances of having a baby with down syndrome until 40 are also still less than 1%. Hearing people in general, you would think after 35, your risk was 50% . People still try to ask me roundabout questions because of my age "shouldn't you see your doctor every week?!". Aren't you more tired than a younger person?!".
My practice never considered me a high risk pregnancy. All the blood tests, blood pressure, genetic tests were totally normal. They told me my age wasn't a factor. They look at the scientific data in front of them and your genetic history. I am not even seeing an OBGYN. Just a midwife.
In the end, I would say having a healthy lifestyle and healthy weight is important for you but also for your partner. That's the one thing you can control. Stop smoking, lose some weight if your BMI is on the higher end, reduce alcohol consumption and stay off drugs.
ETA: I agree about downloading the Fertility Friend app and taking your temp every day and doing OPKs. I learned a lot about my cycles and we were able to target when to have sex and when to stop. I never ovulated on cycle day 14. It was usually CD17 (based on 11 months of tracking meticulously).
ETA #2: you'll realize a lot of people are clueless about getting and being pregnant in 2019. My MIL had 5 kids but things have changed a TON since then. And a lot of my SILs have been pregnant in the last decade so her knowledge got a refresher but still. She was unaware you could know the gender as early as 9 weeks through DNA testing (NIPT). When we told her we knew the gender, she told us there was room for error. I had to remind her it was not through an ultrasound but from DNA.
Even hearing from my friend who got pregnant in 2013, things are very different (tests available, standard of care...). Things change fast.
It's obnoxious that people asked you those questions! People are so rude.
The NIPT genetic testing was pretty new when I was pg with DD1. People were shocked we knew the sex at 11 weeks. My sister tried to explain to me that it was too early, they didn't really "know", it was so condescending. She didn't believe me until she googled the testing herself. <eyeroll>
Post by jenny1223 on Sept 19, 2019 11:56:05 GMT -5
I agree with charting/temping your cycle to become more familiar with it. Definitely don't postpone seeing a specialist sooner vs later.
I had DS1 at 30 and DS2 at almost 37. We were trying/not preventing for 3+ years and I had two miscarriages during that time. I have other health issues that likely played a factor vs age alone.
Post by redredwine on Sept 19, 2019 12:06:57 GMT -5
I got pregnant shortly after turning 35 and luckily, I was able to get pregnant right away. I actually was in the best shape of my adult life at the time, so maybe that as a factor (and not like talking 6 pack abs, lol, just really made it a habit to go to the gym several times a week, lift heavy weights, HIIT, etc.) I did track ovulation pretty heavily a few months before we started trying, so also maybe a factor? I know it's really all luck though, because I know plenty of people who did all those things and then some and still had difficulties getting pregnant, so I feel super lucky. I was happy I did wait until I was REALLY ready which happened to be over 35.
Post by nygiantsfan on Sept 19, 2019 12:14:09 GMT -5
I conceived one month before my 41st birthday. I was lucky and it happened quickly, just by paying attention to my ovulation cycle. My best piece of advice is to watch the weight gain. Even though I was physically active before, regularly working out, eating well, etc. I allowed myself to gain more weight than I should have early in the pregnancy. And it is definitely harder getting that weight off after than I ever imagined. Not just because you don't really have the time to focus on yourself as much, but also it's just plain harder in your 40s to lose weight.
Post by Aloe Vera on Sept 19, 2019 13:31:08 GMT -5
noodleoo same experience as with my MIL. She also told me if I were doing all these testing was because of my age. She never heard about it with the others aka SILs. I asked them and turns out they were all offered genetic testings but opted out. All of them were in their mid to late 20s/early 30s.
Post by chocolatepie on Sept 19, 2019 20:07:51 GMT -5
I wish I hadn't wasted so much time thinking it would happen naturally. We started not-trying around 32; then actually trying around 35. I guess I didn't want to admit something was going on and that it would happen in due time until I was looking 40 in the face and still wasn't pregnant. What I didn't realize is that seeing a fertility doc is time consuming. The tests are built around your cycle so it can go on for months. Then I had to have surgery to remove polyps before doing anything... and then heal from that. It stretched on for months before even doing anything about getting pregnant and time was ticking. Once you're mid-30's, don't put off seeking help if things don't happen in 6 months.
I am having my first at 41 (IVF) and because we wasted time, we'll end up with just 1 child when we would have loved to have 2 if we had started a little earlier.
I will also say that don't assume because you're AMA, you will have a rough pregnancy. Obviously I've never been pregnant before but I feel absolutely fantastic and have from day 1. No sickness, pain, tiredness, anything. I often forget I'm pregnant (well, not now that he's so active but did the first 6 months!) Every pregnancy is different and I don't think age plays much of a role in that.
Post by somersault72 on Sept 19, 2019 20:37:09 GMT -5
I had my IUD removed in January 2017 when I was almost 36. I got pregnant with DD in September 2017 (also had a chemical pregnancy that May). I did 1 round of Clomid and 2 rounds of Femara. The second Femara cycle was the one. So it took longer than DS, but not a crazy long time. Since I was over 35 I was able to start meds after 6 months TTC. Since I was AMA and anxious and work as an OB sonographer I opted for NIPT which backfired because it came back high risk. Thankfully the amnio was normal but there was about 6 weeks of pure torture between the NIPT and the amnio. Being pregnant at 36/37 was harder than at 26/27 but still doable, I worked until the day I delivered.
I had my first and only child at age 37. We had been trying for over 8 years, with unexplained infertility issues and numerous losses. My daughter was conceived without intervention, after some major health and lifestyle changes, under the care of a naturopath. I don’t know if I credit her for getting me pregnant, but that’s what worked and I say that to reiterate the previous advice to make sure that you are in optimal shape and health, mind and body. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to be more proactive, and not ‘leave it to the universe’ lol, because that’s a perspective only available to those with the luxury of time. ETA: Thinking back, it was here that I unloaded my struggle, and people like mofongo and cville who told me to get my shit together and take charge of my own health, so maybe they got me pregnant.
I was very fortunate and got pregnant the first or second month of trying at ages 34, 37 and 40. I was 35 by the time my first was born and 41 when my youngest was born but I don’t recall differences in the testing or monitoring I received until the very end of the last pregnancy so my experience was that AMA testing only resulted in genetic testing and maybe an additional ultrasound. My third child was an induction so I started going for stress tests twice a week for the last few weeks of pregnancy. I did not have more swelling or health issues with the last pregnancy but I absolutely agree with others that the weight was slower to come off and my body seemed slower to bounce back. Each time I was able to work until the last day or so before delivery and looking back I wish I would have taken some more time off before being at home with a newborn.
Post by imojoebunny on Sept 20, 2019 9:24:29 GMT -5
I had my kids at 34 and 37. I did not have trouble getting pregnant, very thankfully, because my DH was not into "doing anything" and has this sort of weird fatalist mindset about reproduction that is really off putting and in conflict with my feelings. My first pregnancy was much harder than my second. With my second, I was in considerably better physical shape, walking a lot, at least 5 miles a day, every day, and not sitting much. With my second, I did have my Nucleal translucency screen come back 1 in 3, and had to have further testing (CVS), which turned out fine, but otherwise, I was active and felt pretty good right up until the end. With my first, I was on Bed rest for a month, and induced for Small for gestational age, and IUGR, turns out the kid is just tiny. She is still tiny. At 13, her BMI is 3%, which is higher than it has ever been.
Hi! I got pregnant the month I turned 40. My daughter is now 9. I did have gestational diabetes but I did not mind because it allowed me more opportunities to hear her heartbeat and weekly ultrasounds from about week 32-38 of pregnancy. Because of the gestational diabetes they induced me at 39 weeks. I guess AMA pregnancy are more likely to have gestational diabetes.
Hi! I got pregnant the month I turned 40. My daughter is now 9. I did have gestational diabetes but I did not mind because it allowed me more opportunities to hear her heartbeat and weekly ultrasounds from about week 32-38 of pregnancy. Because of the gestational diabetes they induced me at 39 weeks. I guess AMA pregnancy are more likely to have gestational diabetes.
My advice is don't wait. I didn't marry until a month shy of 33 and DH wanted to wait a year. Big mistake. After a miscarriage at 12 weeks and diagnosis of a malformed uterus, my original ob told me I may never carry to term. Fast forward to now, I have two healthy girls - had them at ages 35 and 37. IF was the most stressful time of my life. Find a good RE at the first sign of any issues.
I got pregnant at 36 the first month we were trying. I was actually shocked because it took six months the first time, when I was 30. Unfortunately the recent pregnancy ended with a miscarriage, so I'm hoping I can get pregnant again without too much trouble. I'm starting to stress about my age!
Post by carrotsmakemefat on Sept 20, 2019 11:47:09 GMT -5
Well the good news is I went to Shady Grove and did a work up after my sister passed a couple years ago, just to see how my eggs were, etc. I know my FI won’t have any issues. At the time I considered egg freezing but glad I didn’t. I know I have a hard stance on no IVF and only willing to go as far as IUI.
We’re honestly not even trying to NOT get pregnant now and figure worst case we put off the wedding an extra year if it happens.
It’s just exciting :) I’m more concerned about getting my lyme and Addison’s disease under more control - that’s been a long journey but I’m seeing a specialist who is a lyme doc but also board certified in GYN. Anyway- I’m rambling :) I already do yoga and teach and fully expect to keep it up during as much as possible
Post by pixy0stix on Sept 20, 2019 14:34:23 GMT -5
Infertile. I wish I would have went to the big guns fertility clinic first so we wouldn't have wasted so.much.money. on treatments with a local clinic that weren't ever going to work.
We started TTC when I was 37. Despite major medical intervention, including donor eggs, we were never successful and finally gave up.
I’m so sorry;( A friend of mine has a similar story but did have success with donor eggs. Her diagnosis was premature ovarian failure. My issues were just endo and blocked tubes.
I’ve always thought you were the same scout from HIH based on name and similarities but I guess I was wrong?
I'm not sure what HIH is so that must be someone else. I do think there is another poster with the screen name scout.
I'm happy your friend was successful. It's unusual that donor eggs didn't work for us. Maybe they would have eventually, but I reached a point where I just couldn't take anymore and needed to move on with my life. It has been several years ago now and we are doing fine.
We started TTC when I was 37. Despite major medical intervention, including donor eggs, we were never successful and finally gave up.
We started TTC when I was 32. We looked into fertility treatments, I had low ovarian reserve and DH had low numbers. We were told we would need IVF, but that wasn't something we were interested in pursuing. The RE said that we weren't infertile per se. We kind of went with an attitude of if it happens it happens. I found out I was pregnant shortly after turning 37 which was pretty crazy as we had kind of figured it was never going to happen. Gave birth to a healthy baby boy in June.
I was probably in the best shape of my adult life when I conceived. I was also in the middle of doing a food intolerance diet and wonder if that was actually the reason we finally conceived as I was eliminating inflammation in my body.
Not quite 35 when I got pregnant. I charted and got pregnant quickly. I enjoyed learning about my body with the take charge of your fertility book and the fertility friend app. I started charting without temping for the first month and then moved onto temping.
I also agree with exercising just because it’s easier if you lightly exercise through pregnancy, and with not waiting if you need to see a specialist.
Post by wise_rita on Sept 20, 2019 23:45:42 GMT -5
Que? do you mind explaining the major health and lifestyle changes you did with the naturopath? I'd be interested to hear.
From the current pit of dispair where I currently sit 2 months from my 37th birthday and TTTC for almost 2 years I wish I would've gotten pregnant in high school and had kids super young.
That's not a legit answer, I've lived a phenomenally exciting young adulthood abroad that I couldn't do with a kid, but if it came at the cost of never having kids at all I'm not sure if I'd make the same choices over again. Maybe I would.
Que? do you mind explaining the major health and lifestyle changes you did with the naturopath? I'd be interested to hear.
From the current pit of dispair where I currently sit 2 months from my 37th birthday and TTTC for almost 2 years I wish I would've gotten pregnant in high school and had kids super young.
That's not a legit answer, I've lived a phenomenally exciting young adulthood abroad that I couldn't do with a kid, but if it came at the cost of never having kids at all I'm not sure if I'd make the same choices over again. Maybe I would.
I was very unhealthy; I was a smoker, chronic marijuana user and in poor physical shape. I literally changed my life from the ground up; my career, my habits, my mental state all needed an overhaul. I needed to examine the whole picture and do a deep emotional dive to root out whatever the barriers were to me achieving my goals, and that didn’t just include TTC. I was in my own way, so I don’t know if that applies to your struggle, but I’m sorry that you’re going through it.