Petty Holiday complaints

[followyourarrow]

My sister gave me earrings that are very not my style, like any of you probably know me better than to get me mustard dangle multi tasseled earrings. The kicker though was that she gave me specifics on where and when I could and could not wear them. Specifically I can't wear them to work or any meetings, but if I go to parties I can wear them there.

[Nonny]

This feels more privileged than petty...

My parents gave me (us) a very large check for Christmas, which was very kind and generous, BUT I'm having lots of conflicting feelings about it:

1) they already gave us an even larger check this spring, and I'm uncomfortable with the $$ they are giving away (they are old, with so many health problems, I wish they were spending the money on household help for themselves to save my sister the trouble).

2) they keep giving my sister and I these checks because they keep having to pay to bail my brother out of financial jams, and they want to make things fair/even between all of us, and it stresses me out about how much they are outlaying to my brother. It feels like something else is going on with him this year beyond his usual money woes.

3) I never get to do anything fun with the money anyway because we always just end up investing it.

4) I'm going to be spending a huge chunk of it to pay our car insurance deductible to fix the body damage on my car.  :: cries ::

[devonpow]

Dec 27, 2019 16:26:10 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:22:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I need a link to this bc now I’m just intrigued. Lol.

Please remember, I prefaced this by saying it was a dumb gift. But my H would love it. Except that he got it for me, even though he knows (b/c he’s said so) that it’s NMS and I don’t even have a desk I can put it on. 

www.amazon.com/Wacky-Waving-Inflatable-Miniature-Editions/dp/0762462876/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Fan+man&qid=1577481815&sr=8-1

Lol DS1 got this in his stocking this year, plus it turned up in a yankee swap we did. It’s fun!

[scorpion]

Dec 27, 2019 16:11:26 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:01:58 GMT -5 pierogigirl said:

But what is it?

It’s this thing that sits on your desk, and you turn a fan on and it blows this weird figure around.

I got my H the same thing (I have been looking for one for years!). I've never been so excited to give him a gift, and he has never been so excited to get one -- but, yeah ... would not have worked the other way around, I can see how that would be disappointing (especially since you already know about it)....

[notsopicky]

Dec 27, 2019 16:26:10 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:22:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I need a link to this bc now I’m just intrigued. Lol.

Please remember, I prefaced this by saying it was a dumb gift. But my H would love it. Except that he got it for me, even though he knows (b/c he’s said so) that it’s NMS and I don’t even have a desk I can put it on. 

www.amazon.com/Wacky-Waving-Inflatable-Miniature-Editions/dp/0762462876/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Fan+man&qid=1577481815&sr=8-1

I BOUGHT THAT FOR H THIS YEAR! LOL  It's loud AF, but so funny. I'm sorry the gift didn't go well. Damn Hs! 

[Deleted]

lilypad1126 maybe he thinks its funny in the respect that he KNOWS you have been wanting to get him one for years and so he bought it for you but really for him TIC kind of way? I am one of those people who would think that was funny. But I see your side of it too! for sure.


in my almost ungrateful pettiness, I am miffed with my mom because I EXPLICITLY said DO NOT get me anything for Xmas this year because a week ago she forked out money to pay a vet bill for us for our sick kitty. It was more than generous and yes we are paying her back, but I just feel guilty.

[flex]

I'd really like it if my stepdad give me a VISA gift card rather than a gift card at a well-known retail clothing store. I don't buy that many clothes these days and it'd be nice to buy sensible items. This is the second year this has happened, so next year I'll mention it to his caregiver (she does all his shopping for him) rather than expect him to "guess" what I'd prefer lol

[liverandonions]

My husband got one of those tube guys in his stocking from my dad and stepmom. It’s already in our donate box

[jeaniebueller]

Dec 27, 2019 16:06:19 GMT -5 eddy said:

My MIL buys our kids gifts that she likes, or wants them to be the type of kid who likes them. Then she preempts each gift by saying “oh you won’t like this”. Whyyyyyyyy

It is such a waste of money. They clutter my house. I have to wait a couple months before I can donate them.

When I was a kid, my grandparents bought me A gift. Now our parents buy our kids more than they get them.

It is so fucking wasteful. It is hard to make my kids be gracious when they expect to be showered with presents. I hate all of it.

Why are boomers like this? My mom dies this too and so does MIL. She insisted on kid gifts being equal but honestly my DD doesn’t know the difference and I don’t need any more cheap Walmart crap.

[icedcoffee]

This is dumb, but I hate dark chocolate. I like milk chocolate. Everyone knows this because if dark enters my house I give it to my parents or sister. This year my mom gave me a bag of Reese’s PB cups (my fave). Except they’re dark chocolate. I turned to my mom and exclaimed “oh...dark chocolate”. The response was “yeah...this way they are healthy”.

Blah. Yes, very healthy because I won’t eat them because they’re not worth the calories. Womp womp.

[poe]

We had a good Christmas but my parents gave my brother two items that belonged to my grandpa. It hurts. My H made a comment forever ago that they favor my brother and I’m starting to think he’s right. Ugh!

[cleo29]

Dec 27, 2019 15:51:54 GMT -5 al dente said:

I’m annoyed with how early holidays get started. I feel like I’m not saying that well. But I’m at the doctors office and food network is on and it’s all Valentines themed. Can we get out of December before starting in on Valentine’s Day? Idk if I just noticed it more this year, but I don’t feel like it has always been like this.

I agree with you. I also think it perpetuates not truly enjoying the moment and the down time between holidays. instead it is always on to the next thing the minute one holiday ends. Also, why push valentines day, it is not like people are shopping over a month in advance for gifts. come on!

[Nonny]

Dec 27, 2019 17:52:09 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

This is dumb, but I hate dark chocolate. I like milk chocolate. Everyone knows this because if dark enters my house I give it to my parents or sister. This year my mom gave me a bag of Reese’s PB cups (my fave). Except they’re dark chocolate. I turned to my mom and exclaimed “oh...dark chocolate”. The response was “yeah...this way they are healthy”.

Blah. Yes, very healthy because I won’t eat them because they’re not worth the calories. Womp womp.

My H hates dark chocolate too, and I accidentally bought him a dark chocolate orange instead of the milk chocolate kind.  They are one of the favorite parts of his stocking and I feel so bad I bought the wrong kind for him.  

[namasteak]

Lol my mom let the kids (4 & almost 6) nap until 445pm 😂 good luck tonight/tomorrow morning granny!

[nellgirl]

My husband has a sister who has 2 kids, one the same age as my daughter and one younger. We are all local to one another. My SIL posted pictures of her kids ripping into a mountain of cool, thoughtful toys from each of the grandparents. My FIL gave my 3 year old nothing, not even a card. My MIL mailed her a gift card to Starbucks. Again, she’s 3.
While I’m THRILLED that we haven’t acquired a mountain of toys, the disparity between how my daughter is treated by them vs the other grandkids kills me. They each see the others every several weeks and my MIL looks after them regularly, even missing work to do so. We see them every 6 months or so, and that’s us forcing ourselves on them. Unless, of course, my MIL needs money, then she calls us right away or if either need help with something around the house.

[wanderingback]

I’ve told my mom for years now not to buy anything for me but of course she has to "because it’s tradition." So this year her and my aunt bugged me enough that I said ok what I want is a membership to a museum and sent her a link.

I had to work all this week long hours but did have Christmas Day off but decided to stay home instead of travelling several hours to see her.

So then she kept asking via text well since you’re not coming for Christmas dinner, how am I going to get you your gifts? In my head I was thinking ummm the postal service works pretty well lady, but I just ignored the texts.

So anyway, on Christmas Day she finally tells me I have to pick a date that I can travel near to her so she can give me the presents. She texted me again to remind her. I work on Saturdays a few Saturdays per month and I don’t always know my schedule super ahead of time.

I love my mom but it’s so annoying that I told her not to get me a gift and now she’s insisting I travel to near her to get said gift. Ugh.

[cville]

Dec 27, 2019 16:36:08 GMT -5 namasteak said:

My mom watches the big boys for a weekend frequently and every time we stay over with the boys she takes over parenting. It’s nice but also weird. It in a “I’m giving you a break” way not you’re incompetent” but it feels weird.

This would make me INSANE. My MIL does it to my SIL and my SIL doesn't mind at all, but just witnessing it makes my eye twitch. But I also hate it when grandparents sit around and don't take an active role. So, there's no pleasing me and I'm a jerk.

[skidunks]

We did our Christmas with my family last weekend. I got a down blanket for my car, which is cool but I didn’t really need one, and $100. My sister got an iPad. Damn I would have liked an iPad. The $100 was to put toward a new laptop but DH got me one so maybe I’ll put the money towards one!

[eddy]

Dec 27, 2019 17:45:20 GMT -5 jeaniebueller said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:06:19 GMT -5 eddy said:

My MIL buys our kids gifts that she likes, or wants them to be the type of kid who likes them. Then she preempts each gift by saying “oh you won’t like this”. Whyyyyyyyy

It is such a waste of money. They clutter my house. I have to wait a couple months before I can donate them.

When I was a kid, my grandparents bought me A gift. Now our parents buy our kids more than they get them.

It is so fucking wasteful. It is hard to make my kids be gracious when they expect to be showered with presents. I hate all of it.

Why are boomers like this? My mom dies this too and so does MIL. She insisted on kid gifts being equal but honestly my DD doesn’t know the difference and I don’t need any more cheap Walmart crap.

IDK, it stresses me out on so many levels. Wasteful, spending money, anti-clutter, teaching gratitude etc.

and they don’t need to do it.  My kids are wild about their grandparents. And they are used to pretty simple stuff so it isn’t like they require a lot to be wowed. None of it is necessary.

[eddy]

Dec 27, 2019 18:42:20 GMT -5 cville said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:36:08 GMT -5 namasteak said:

My mom watches the big boys for a weekend frequently and every time we stay over with the boys she takes over parenting. It’s nice but also weird. It in a “I’m giving you a break” way not you’re incompetent” but it feels weird.

This would make me INSANE. My MIL does it to my SIL and my SIL doesn't mind at all, but just witnessing it makes my eye twitch. But I also hate it when grandparents sit around and don't take an active role. So, there's no pleasing me and I'm a jerk.

Lol same

[flygirl]

Dec 27, 2019 16:17:13 GMT -5 CrazyLucky said:

I got DH a reservation to his favorite camping spot. SIL and BIL immediately made reservations for the same dates. I don't like BIL. He's a sexist Trump supporter. I don't want to spend my entire vacation with them.

I literally read your post to my H earlier and said no fng way. Then he’s texting his brother about something related to our camping trip this summer and I said “HES NOT INVITED” and sure enough brother is trying to come with-wanting to know dates and where we’re staying. H knows I would cancel the whole fricking summer if his brother came so he better shut this down ASAP. WTF BILs

[ssmjlm]

Nonny we are going through the same thing with FIL. With BIL’s poor money management on top of a divorce he can’t afford we got a $$ check in the fall.

Then BIL told DH to expect a big check at Christmas. Dude, get your life together so your dad isn’t bailing you out! He might need that money later. FIL is ok, but retired too early based on life expectancy.

Ours just goes toward the down payment on DH’s truck he wants to get next year.

[Nonny]

ssmjlm, "get your life together" is how I feel about my brother. He retired from the military after 20 years, but his military pension is a pittance and I think his SO has a medical discharge, but I know she doesn't get much either. Then neither of them got civilian jobs after. They were OK for quite a number of years, but the past 2-3 years (and this year especially) have been bad with how much money my parents have been giving them.

I feel like my parents are OK with retirement as long as they don't require extensive long term care. They own their house, and my dad has public employee retirement, and when he retired they chose the option that will continue to pay out to my mom even if he passes away first. But, both of them have had such a dramatic downturn in their health the past 18 months that I feel uneasy about their situation.

[namasteak]

Dec 27, 2019 18:42:20 GMT -5 cville said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:36:08 GMT -5 namasteak said:

My mom watches the big boys for a weekend frequently and every time we stay over with the boys she takes over parenting. It’s nice but also weird. It in a “I’m giving you a break” way not you’re incompetent” but it feels weird.

This would make me INSANE. My MIL does it to my SIL and my SIL doesn't mind at all, but just witnessing it makes my eye twitch. But I also hate it when grandparents sit around and don't take an active role. So, there's no pleasing me and I'm a jerk.

Honestly it used to bother me but then I realized it’s just a way I can get alone time 🤷🏻‍♀️as long as she doesn’t contradict me I don’t care.

It probably works well because we have similar parenting styles

[dochas]

Dec 27, 2019 16:26:10 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

Dec 27, 2019 16:22:03 GMT -5 Leeham Rimes said:

I need a link to this bc now I’m just intrigued. Lol.

Please remember, I prefaced this by saying it was a dumb gift. But my H would love it. Except that he got it for me, even though he knows (b/c he’s said so) that it’s NMS and I don’t even have a desk I can put it on. 

www.amazon.com/Wacky-Waving-Inflatable-Miniature-Editions/dp/0762462876/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Fan+man&qid=1577481815&sr=8-1

OMG I totally get you, because my husband gives terrible gifts most of the time. He's not a selfish peraon, but the gifts are usually so bad they seem selfish. BUT...I love this thing. We all do. I do a wiggly arm waving thing every time we pass one and I'm so happy you shared this. LOL

[vamoose]

This is very petty. Or stupid. Both. My uncle and his partner make the most thoughtful gifts and it makes me feel inferior for whatever gifts I get people. They are very crafty and handy (he does home remodeling projects for people and she makes stuff to sell at shabby chic type home stores). They build and weld and really come up with cute and nice and personal gifts that they make themselves. My bubble bath and wine does not stack up. They are totally gracious and humble too so I can’t even hate them for it.

[lilles]

The only thing my DH put in my stocking was chocolate. Non vegan chocolate....so I can’t eat it.

[maudefindlay]

Dec 27, 2019 15:56:49 GMT -5 firedancer10288 said:

My hot mess SIL stole my daughter’s stocking from her grandparents house. I hope you enjoy that candy and coloring book- it probably won’t buy too many drugs.

What did she think was going to be in a kid's stocking?!

[jenna]

Dec 27, 2019 21:13:12 GMT -5 lilles said:

The only thing my DH put in my stocking was chocolate. Non vegan chocolate....so I can’t eat it.

H doesn't put anything in my stocking, usually. Once in awhile I will get a gift card. 

:shrug:

[livinitup]

I am here to complain about traffic. It added 2 hours to our drive home (so 7 hours) and the dog got sick in the car, too.