My husband has a sister who has 2 kids, one the same age as my daughter and one younger. We are all local to one another. My SIL posted pictures of her kids ripping into a mountain of cool, thoughtful toys from each of the grandparents. My FIL gave my 3 year old nothing, not even a card. My MIL mailed her a gift card to Starbucks. Again, she’s 3. While I’m THRILLED that we haven’t acquired a mountain of toys, the disparity between how my daughter is treated by them vs the other grandkids kills me. They each see the others every several weeks and my MIL looks after them regularly, even missing work to do so. We see them every 6 months or so, and that’s us forcing ourselves on them. Unless, of course, my MIL needs money, then she calls us right away or if either need help with something around the house.
This would piss me off so bad. Do you know why they favor them over your family?
Also, WTH to giving a 3 year old a Starbucks gift card. They are dumb.
I need a link to this bc now I’m just intrigued. Lol.
Please remember, I prefaced this by saying it was a dumb gift. But my H would love it. Except that he got it for me, even though he knows (b/c he’s said so) that it’s NMS and I don’t even have a desk I can put it on.
This is extremely petty, but anyway. I have 2 sisters, one has kids. The other child free sister has always been good with kids, and I have always felt awkward and stupid around them. I noticed this week that I am killing it on the aunt job, though, and I'm the one they tend to ask to play, to sit by at dinner, etc. This is likely only because I never say no to playing, but it makes me feel good that I'm doing this at least as well as the sister I had assumed would be better at being an aunt than i am.
Those kids are pretty awesome so I guess that makes it easy for me.
My husband has a sister who has 2 kids, one the same age as my daughter and one younger. We are all local to one another. My SIL posted pictures of her kids ripping into a mountain of cool, thoughtful toys from each of the grandparents. My FIL gave my 3 year old nothing, not even a card. My MIL mailed her a gift card to Starbucks. Again, she’s 3. While I’m THRILLED that we haven’t acquired a mountain of toys, the disparity between how my daughter is treated by them vs the other grandkids kills me. They each see the others every several weeks and my MIL looks after them regularly, even missing work to do so. We see them every 6 months or so, and that’s us forcing ourselves on them. Unless, of course, my MIL needs money, then she calls us right away or if either need help with something around the house.
This would piss me off so bad. Do you know why they favor them over your family?
Also, WTH to giving a 3 year old a Starbucks gift card. They are dumb.
It’s carry over from how my H and his sister were treated as kids. She has literally stolen tens of thousands of dollars from each parent, and they have (eventually) laughed it off. Even as a kid, she was called ‘the boss’. H’s mum will talk about it a bit now, but then just says, “Oh, you know what Sister is like!” It’s gross. My kid likes Starbucks (my dad takes her for hot chocolate as a super special treat sometimes), but first, MIL doesn’t know this because she doesn’t see her ever, and second, it’s just a weird gift. I mean, if it was a gift card and a note that she could go on a Starbucks date with Nana, I’d be all over it. I mean, the other granddaughter got this obscenely giant KidKraft dollhouse from Nana, and mine gets like $20 at Starbucks?
I’m annoyed with how early holidays get started. I feel like I’m not saying that well. But I’m at the doctors office and food network is on and it’s all Valentines themed. Can we get out of December before starting in on Valentine’s Day? Idk if I just noticed it more this year, but I don’t feel like it has always been like this.
One of the local grocery stores has EASTER candy out, as of yesterday.
I’m annoyed with how early holidays get started. I feel like I’m not saying that well. But I’m at the doctors office and food network is on and it’s all Valentines themed. Can we get out of December before starting in on Valentine’s Day? Idk if I just noticed it more this year, but I don’t feel like it has always been like this.
One of the local grocery stores has EASTER candy out, as of yesterday.
Post by mrsukyankee on Dec 28, 2019 9:35:59 GMT -5
I didn't get a single present for Christmas or my birthday (boxing day). I know that it's because we told people not to send anything/no adult presents and because we're in the midst of house buying/temporary housing hell, but it still feels a bit sad to have gotten nothing. And no decorations cause we moved on Christmas day into a temporary flat. Wah. Pity party for one.
Post by brandy0331 on Dec 28, 2019 10:01:52 GMT -5
We went over to my ILs for breakfast on Christmas morning. After my DS & nieces & nephew opened presents, my FIL made a big production of making my niece (7) & nephew (10) come outside for one more gift that was too big to be brought inside. They got new bikes with huge bows on them while my DS has to watch. Granted that DS doesn’t need a new bike and they got him a soccer goal, but I just wish they would have waited until we left to do a big reveal of this or they would have put his soccer goal out there as well. Petty, but I just felt bad for him. Their favoritism is so obvious sometimes.
ssmjlm, "get your life together" is how I feel about my brother. He retired from the military after 20 years, but his military pension is a pittance and I think his SO has a medical discharge, but I know she doesn't get much either. Then neither of them got civilian jobs after. They were OK for quite a number of years, but the past 2-3 years (and this year especially) have been bad with how much money my parents have been giving them.
I feel like my parents are OK with retirement as long as they don't require extensive long term care. They own their house, and my dad has public employee retirement, and when he retired they chose the option that will continue to pay out to my mom even if he passes away first. But, both of them have had such a dramatic downturn in their health the past 18 months that I feel uneasy about their situation.
this is my folks but they stopped giving us money to offset what they give my brothers. It’s fine bc I want them to have enough for their retirement but it’s slightly grating to hear comments from my mom about giving my brothers checks. Also irksome bc my mom was trying to pay me $20 for the spare sd card I gave her (her memory card filled up - also on the camera I gave her last Christmas). Neither brother has bought her a gift for any occasion in years.
Our Christmas was close to perfect with the exception of me getting annoyed at my parents’ dynamic. My dad orders my mom around constantly and she waits on him hand and foot. It’s just hard to watch (but it’s their marriage). I should also go with my instinct and avoid buying my mom nice things from Sephora. She treats Burt’s bees like gold but didn’t seem to appreciate the kiehls products I got her. Petty, I know.
Post by amandakisser on Dec 28, 2019 11:57:09 GMT -5
I don’t understand why people insist on giving my girls holiday-themed outfits for Christmas. Like, the time for wearing these outfits is done by Christmas Day. So now I have to wait a year to put it on them, and risk it being too small when the time comes.
My SO's mom is the sweetest thing ever. But...I kind of wish she'd just stop giving me gifts. This year I got a lazy susan. Why? Who knows. It's so random. And huge. Country craft pattern on the top and literally 2 feet across - what am I going to do with this?? My style is modern. She's been to my house. She also got me a hat and scarf that do not match and are not my style at all. None came with gift receipts - however, SO's gift did come with a gift receipt so...I'm unsure what to think (my head jumps to she's regifting things to me - this is the petty grievances thread so..I'm gonna just say it).
We came back from Christmas with my family in Phoenix to hang with SO's family. Christmas was at his brother's apartment. Brother invited friends. Who arrived 2 hours late. Brother did not make the food he said he was going to make so thank god we brought enough for everyone. There was nowhere to sit except on a futon and a sofa - no table. Gifts were not opened during the celebration because...friends were present. So it was overall very awkward and weird and I'm somewhat pissed I cut Christmas short with my family for this.
And SO's gift has been more or less lost by UPS. It's been sitting in Alabama for two weeks. I've got a replacement coming, but clearly it's late (and I had originally paid for 2-day expedited shipping so it should have arrived around December 18). And SO's gift to me was a gift card. That showed up in my inbox around December 15.
I don’t understand why people insist on giving my girls holiday-themed outfits for Christmas. Like, the time for wearing these outfits is done by Christmas Day. So now I have to wait a year to put it on them, and risk it being too small when the time comes.
Pretty sure both DH and I got a cold from the little niece. My guilt about him (us) not getting her anything is decreasing (she got plenty from everyone else). (Honestly, he forgot and I forgot to remind him, even though I picked out some ideas online.)
MIL asked if DH and I exchanged gifts before traveling to see them. I responded that flying to see them was our gift to each other. I should have been more clear that we only do bday gifts and just buy what we want when we want, plus I am really starting to not like the over gifting of the holiday (I do enjoy creative small stocking items). DH is not a good gift giver and he hates it, so I am not going to put him through that multiple times a year.
My parents got us a gift (card, for something we rarely do) but I thought we had stopped doing gifts, so now I feel bad that I did not get them anything.
I don’t understand why people insist on giving my girls holiday-themed outfits for Christmas. Like, the time for wearing these outfits is done by Christmas Day. So now I have to wait a year to put it on them, and risk it being too small when the time comes.
Yes. My mom is always buying random holiday themed stuff. On top of the fact that it’s too late to wear a lot of it I have usually already bought something. I have 2 boys. Buying them holiday outfits is one of my only joys in terms of clothes. Their day to day stuff is boooring.
I don’t understand why people insist on giving my girls holiday-themed outfits for Christmas. Like, the time for wearing these outfits is done by Christmas Day. So now I have to wait a year to put it on them, and risk it being too small when the time comes.
This has always mystified me as well.
In November, my kid told me that she and her friends were talking about how ridiculous their parents were for buying Christmas themed clothes and pj’s. 😬 I quietly returned the clothes but you’ll have to rip the pj’s from my cold dead hands.
My petty complaint got voided out … My mother stayed for a couple of nights over Christmas and she surprised me by saying that she wanted to come back at New Year's. I wasn't expecting that and had planned on enjoying NOT having a guest. But now she's backed off her plans.
In November, my kid told me that she and her friends were talking about how ridiculous their parents were for buying Christmas themed clothes and pj’s. 😬 I quietly returned the clothes but you’ll have to rip the pj’s from my cold dead hands.
Oh, I am all about Christmas jams. I just give them to my kids the first week of December. It's the giving of holiday wear ON the holiday that mystifies me.
It shouldn’t matter and I don’t intend to sound judgmental of their choice, but H’s cousin flew with their 1-month old to be with their parents/H’s grandma over Christmas.
Every parent has their own comfort level and it should be fine that we have different ones, but H’s extended family will be throwing their choice in our faces for years to come since we opted not to visit when DS was 2 months old because I wasn’t OK with bringing an infant on a plane during flu season. Thank goodness we stayed home this year so we at least didn’t have to hear it this Christmas.
Post by yourmother on Dec 28, 2019 14:46:09 GMT -5
Here’s another. I asked my DH to put up a curtain rod over our bedroom window so that I can put up blackout drapes. I bought the drapes and rod. I said that is all I wanted. Stressed this do that he understood how important that was to me.
That’s all I wanted for Xmas and explicitly said this about a month ago. It’s Dec 28th that has yet to be taken care of. I keep gently reminding and asking and he’s said that it will get done. He’s an extreme procrastinator AND would be pissed if I asked or paid someone else to do this.
He did give a gorgeous emerald ring. I think he thought he would get off the hook for adding the curtain rod.
Here’s another. I asked my DH to put up a curtain rod over our bedroom window so that I can put up blackout drapes. I bought the drapes and rod. I said that is all I wanted. Stressed this do that he understood how important that was to me.
That’s all I wanted for Xmas and explicitly said this about a month ago. It’s Dec 28th that has yet to be taken care of. I keep gently reminding and asking and he’s said that it will get done. He’s an extreme procrastinator AND would be pissed if I asked or paid someone else to do this.
He did give a gorgeous emerald ring. I think he thought he would get off the hook for adding the curtain rod.
I don't do this game. I tell h the day I am calling a professional, and I call if it isn't done by then. Only took once for him to believe me.
Also hanging a curtain rod is easy, just do it yourself.
Here’s another. I asked my DH to put up a curtain rod over our bedroom window so that I can put up blackout drapes. I bought the drapes and rod. I said that is all I wanted. Stressed this do that he understood how important that was to me.
That’s all I wanted for Xmas and explicitly said this about a month ago. It’s Dec 28th that has yet to be taken care of. I keep gently reminding and asking and he’s said that it will get done. He’s an extreme procrastinator AND would be pissed if I asked or paid someone else to do this.
He did give a gorgeous emerald ring. I think he thought he would get off the hook for adding the curtain rod.
I don't do this game. I tell h the day I am calling a professional, and I call if it isn't done by then. Only took once for him to believe me.
Also hanging a curtain rod is easy, just do it yourself.
Learned my lesson and will get a pro involved earlier on.
Not going to hang myself. I’m sure I’ll manage to mess it up somehow.
Post by fangoriagurkel on Dec 28, 2019 15:25:50 GMT -5
My mom has a gorgeous brooch that has been sitting in her jewelry box for 15+ from my Great Grandma. It’s a super simple Art Deco style and I love it. My mom offered it to as a Christmas gift because we were out shopping and I didn’t see any brooches I liked. She even teased me for wanting to wear it since no one wears brooches anymore.
I wore it Christmas and got some compliments, so my mom decided that she actually meant to loan it to me to wear for the day and then give back. Still an excellent 8 hour gift though.
And I can guarantee I will never see her wear it ever.
Not petty- DH is recovering still from influenza. Our flight is delayed 2 hours and we are now getting in at 2 am.
Petty- We brought my mom on this trip with us, and she complained and talked non stop. We still had a good time but she will literally keep talking while I try to brush DD’s hair and DD is screaming in pain (I do try to be gentle but it’s very knotty in texture). Now is not the time to keep talking. She wasn’t as helpful with the kids as usual.
Some of her comments were sort of rage inducing but we got over them because we wanted to have a nice vacation. We decided it’s the last one though. We pay for lodging and rental car and still lots of comments from her on cost. It drives up all our costs and the kids are old enough we don’t need a ton of help or babysitter for them (10 and 8 for next years trip). So next year we aren't inviting her. Instead of being helpful, and she was sometimes, it is more just another person to please and accommodate.
Post by thatgirl2478 on Dec 28, 2019 16:23:41 GMT -5
Before Christmas my mom asks what we want. I tell her I'd love some fun compression socks... she got me black, blue and red... what's fun about solid colors??
My husband said he wanted books on the history of town xyz... she gave him the books we gave my Dad on the subject for a previous Christmas. Not another copy of the same book - but the actual book we gave my Dad...
Oh and then there's the usual stinky bath stuff that's only ever in the scent that SHE likes (never mind that I've told her many MANY times that I prefer clean and citrus scents over floral scents). At least this time she didn't go to the dollar spot and stock us up on nonsense.
I hate Amazon. I've always disliked them and do most of my shopping elsewhere. My kids got a bunch of gifts from there, so many gifts are repeats or doubles, and none of the gifts came with a packing slip. None. On their website if you didn't have a packing slip, you have to contact them. I am in the middle of their chat and the chat with a supposed human is WORTHLESS. I seriously do not get the love for shopping with this company unless you live in the middle of a retail desert or something.
Next year I'm doing a Amazon gift list or whatever it's called and going to tell my husband to text it to these relatives who insist on sending my children things. Because DD does not need 4 Vampirina book bags. One of the book bags came with a lunch bag which DS needs a new lunch bag badly so I kept that set. DS will be returning to daycare in January with a Spookelele lunch bag LOL.
I hate Amazon. I've always disliked them and do most of my shopping elsewhere. My kids got a bunch of gifts from there, so many gifts are repeats or doubles, and none of the gifts came with a packing slip. None. On their website if you didn't have a packing slip, you have to contact them. I am in the middle of their chat and the chat with a supposed human is WORTHLESS. I seriously do not get the love for shopping with this company unless you live in the middle of a retail desert or something.
Next year I'm doing a Amazon gift list or whatever it's called and going to tell my husband to text it to these relatives who insist on sending my children things. Because DD does not need 4 Vampirina book bags.
Amazon gift lists are just as bad. Lots of doubles of the same item, no packing slips, doesn’t clearly identify who sent stuff.
I hate Amazon. I've always disliked them and do most of my shopping elsewhere. My kids got a bunch of gifts from there, so many gifts are repeats or doubles, and none of the gifts came with a packing slip. None. On their website if you didn't have a packing slip, you have to contact them. I am in the middle of their chat and the chat with a supposed human is WORTHLESS. I seriously do not get the love for shopping with this company unless you live in the middle of a retail desert or something.
Next year I'm doing a Amazon gift list or whatever it's called and going to tell my husband to text it to these relatives who insist on sending my children things. Because DD does not need 4 Vampirina book bags.
Amazon gift lists are just as bad. Lots of doubles of the same item, no packing slips, doesn’t clearly identify who sent stuff.
Good to know. They send my kids random stuff from Amazon that they think my kids might like/need, my husband sends their kids Amazon gift cards. The whole exchange is stupid! But he tells me that's just what they do and there is no stopping it.