Post by erinshelley21 on May 11, 2020 9:30:55 GMT -5
Mother's Day was as good as it could be given the circumstances. Breakfast in bed, a handmade wooden sign from DH, candy from DS and a picture from DD. The kids were angels until about an hour before bedtime and then they turned into wild hyenas.
We just found out our gym is closing. I'm so bummed and am going to have to find some discipline to keep me motivated to workout at home. DH and I are already planning on how we can get a garage built sooner rather than later so we can have a decent home gym. I'm going to really miss the camaraderie and friendly competition of a crossfit gym though.
Mother's day ended better than it started. DD cooked breakfast. DS build these beautiful plant stands for my potted flowers. DH got me a flowers for my outdoor beds, and Texas Roadhouse was delicious cooked at home. The kids wiped out the rolls.
I have my mammogram today which the most hated appointment of the year, but I will do a few errands that need to be done after. I am hoping for some work relief soon. They are hiring contact tracers and disease specialist which will take some off of us. The state has decided to totally change our request for funding. In the middle of pandemic, because I assume they think we have all this time on our hands. We don't, we are all working on COVID. I was totally planning of just resubmitting last year's proposal, but that's not going to work now. So I really need to get back to my old job soon.
My Covid test came back negative so that's a relief and also annoying that I got this sick from another random virus.
Mother's Day was nice and relaxing. DH and the kids let me sleep in and brought me breakfast in bed and the homemade cards they made. DH got me flowers and string lights to hang over our patio. We played games and watched movies all day because the weather was so crappy. It was a perfect day to recuperate.
Since my test was negative, we sent DD3 back to daycare today. Only two hours into the day but it's like a weight has been lifted not having to juggle our toddler and work all hours of the day. I miss her sweet face and voice though.
Post by traveltheworld on May 11, 2020 10:25:28 GMT -5
Mother's Day was a gong show. The kids didn't listen at all. I asked for a 30 minute quiet time so that I could do yoga in peace, and that didn't happen. So there was a lot of yelling throughout the day.
My friend dropped off tulips and cheesecake, so that was awesome. I feel like 3 years after we moved here, I finally have some solid friends.
I had such a good day yesterday. The kids were so amazingly peaceful and well behaved. I sat outside and read most of the day, they joined me for some of it, and we ordered take out and watched the Disney sing a long on TV last night. It was such a low key day that the house is actually pretty clean and picked up, which is always a good way to start the week. But, in case that sounds too perfect, we kicked off Monday morning with the kids screaming at each other to get away, social distance, she poked me, she looked at me, etc... And I totally screwed up making my coffee three separate times. Ooof. I'm already counting down to the weekend when they go back to their dad's. I love my kids, but I've had them for 5 weekends in a row. I'm mentally burnt out and need a break.
I am missing my H a lot right now. I missed him in the beginning and then we got in a routine and then covid happened I didn't have time to sleep let alone dwell, and now I just miss him all the time. For those of you who have gone through a deployment, does that feeling come and go or is it a permanent fixture until they get back? We are about to hit the halfway point.
I am missing my H a lot right now. I missed him in the beginning and then we got in a routine and then covid happened I didn't have time to sleep let alone dwell, and now I just miss him all the time. For those of you who have gone through a deployment, does that feeling come and go or is it a permanent fixture until they get back? We are about to hit the halfway point.
For me it came and went. The last month before he came back was always the most brutal for me. I was antsy, amped up and just plain bitchy and emotional.
It went like this for me: First week I was like yeah I got this! Everything is fine! And I am so productive and it’s totally fine Second week I lose my motivation and my mind a little. Miss him a lot. Feel like it’s not going to be okay. Third week until the last 6ish weeks: waver back and forth between week one and two. Last 4-6 weeks: completely insufferable. Emotional, bitchy, amped up, and barely able to function. Older kids have a similar reaction which makes it worse.
Reintegration usually goes okay after that, but it’s never without the little bumps that come from trying to live together again after that long of a physical separation.
xctsclrx - I’m sorry. This must be so hard. I don’t have any advice or anything, just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you.
Yesterday was a mess. The kids stayed up late watching Honey I Shrunk The Kids, so DD2 was a complete horror show. She was asleep by 730, slept until 830 this morning.
DD1 is challenging us in a big way, and nothing seems to be working. Incentives, time outs, pulling electronics, losing privileges... the lying and bad attitude continues. I’m strongly considering upping her meds (already discussed with her provider), but it’s a big jump - we would have to double row dose. There’s no in between.
DD1’s teacher is doing an end of year projects with the class. Each day a name is selected and that student is celebrated. Each student has to record and post a nice video about the student. I’m trying to decide how to handle the girl that has been after her all year. DD1 doesn’t want to do it, and I don’t want to force her. So I have to go back to the principal to discuss. And she has SO MUCH on her plate that I’m afraid that we will be the a-holes bringing all of this up again.
I am missing my H a lot right now. I missed him in the beginning and then we got in a routine and then covid happened I didn't have time to sleep let alone dwell, and now I just miss him all the time. For those of you who have gone through a deployment, does that feeling come and go or is it a permanent fixture until they get back? We are about to hit the halfway point.
For me it came and went. The last month before he came back was always the most brutal for me. I was antsy, amped up and just plain bitchy and emotional.
It went like this for me: First week I was like yeah I got this! Everything is fine! And I am so productive and it’s totally fine Second week I lose my motivation and my mind a little. Miss him a lot. Feel like it’s not going to be okay. Third week until the last 6ish weeks: waver back and forth between week one and two. Last 4-6 weeks: completely insufferable. Emotional, bitchy, amped up, and barely able to function. Older kids have a similar reaction which makes it worse.
Reintegration usually goes okay after that, but it’s never without the little bumps that come from trying to live together again after that long of a physical separation.
Is this the first deployment for you guys?
First deployment yes. But not our first separation. He spent six month in Oklahoma while I was in school, but we saw each other once a month and didn't have kids and weren't married at that point. We then did it again when I spent six months in Missouri but again no kids and weren't married yet. I was the one to leave that time so it felt different.
This is the first significant (more than a month) separation since kids. And of course padamic happens. Makes a hard situation even worse.
xctsclrx - I’m sorry. This must be so hard. I don’t have any advice or anything, just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you.
Yesterday was a mess. The kids stayed up late watching Honey I Shrunk The Kids, so DD2 was a complete horror show. She was asleep by 730, slept until 830 this morning.
DD1 is challenging us in a big way, and nothing seems to be working. Incentives, time outs, pulling electronics, losing privileges... the lying and bad attitude continues. I’m strongly considering upping her meds (already discussed with her provider), but it’s a big jump - we would have to double row dose. There’s no in between.
DD1’s teacher is doing an end of year projects with the class. Each day a name is selected and that student is celebrated. Each student has to record and post a nice video about the student. I’m trying to decide how to handle the girl that has been after her all year. DD1 doesn’t want to do it, and I don’t want to force her. So I have to go back to the principal to discuss. And she has SO MUCH on her plate that I’m afraid that we will be the a-holes bringing all of this up again.
It was a lot to process for a Monday morning.
I wouldn't involve the principal yet. I might ask the teachers if dd1 can call and talk to her about her feelings about this girl and see if the teacher has some advice about how to handle the situation.
This would be a good learning experience for Dd1 since it is probably not going to be the last time she has an issue with someone that she might have to work with later. I am not sure what the right way to handle this would be, and i'd try to spin it.
I wish you luck. Makes me grateful for my little kids right now. We haven't had to navigate stuff like this yet.
xctsclrx - I’m sorry. This must be so hard. I don’t have any advice or anything, just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you.
Yesterday was a mess. The kids stayed up late watching Honey I Shrunk The Kids, so DD2 was a complete horror show. She was asleep by 730, slept until 830 this morning.
DD1 is challenging us in a big way, and nothing seems to be working. Incentives, time outs, pulling electronics, losing privileges... the lying and bad attitude continues. I’m strongly considering upping her meds (already discussed with her provider), but it’s a big jump - we would have to double row dose. There’s no in between.
DD1’s teacher is doing an end of year projects with the class. Each day a name is selected and that student is celebrated. Each student has to record and post a nice video about the student. I’m trying to decide how to handle the girl that has been after her all year. DD1 doesn’t want to do it, and I don’t want to force her. So I have to go back to the principal to discuss. And she has SO MUCH on her plate that I’m afraid that we will be the a-holes bringing all of this up again.
It was a lot to process for a Monday morning.
What would happen if she just didn't do it and you didn't say anything about it?
For me it came and went. The last month before he came back was always the most brutal for me. I was antsy, amped up and just plain bitchy and emotional.
It went like this for me: First week I was like yeah I got this! Everything is fine! And I am so productive and it’s totally fine Second week I lose my motivation and my mind a little. Miss him a lot. Feel like it’s not going to be okay. Third week until the last 6ish weeks: waver back and forth between week one and two. Last 4-6 weeks: completely insufferable. Emotional, bitchy, amped up, and barely able to function. Older kids have a similar reaction which makes it worse.
Reintegration usually goes okay after that, but it’s never without the little bumps that come from trying to live together again after that long of a physical separation.
Is this the first deployment for you guys?
First deployment yes. But not our first separation. He spent six month in Oklahoma while I was in school, but we saw each other once a month and didn't have kids and weren't married at that point. We then did it again when I spent six months in Missouri but again no kids and weren't married yet. I was the one to leave that time so it felt different.
This is the first significant (more than a month) separation since kids. And of course padamic happens. Makes a hard situation even worse.
I don’t envy having to do this in a global pandemic. I’ve thought often of the military spouses at the moment who are dealing with all of this on top of deployments. It’s not an ideal situation. In any case, hopefully you have military support (I didn’t because we don’t live on or even near any bases and since he’s national guard (AGR) we live in the shadows of the military life, mostly forgotten).
We had two deployments after being married and having kids. The first started when our oldest was 6 months and ended when she was 22 months. And the last one started the day before school started (kids were in 5th, 2nd and pre-K) and ended in Valentine’s Day that school year. We’ve had a few multi month schools and other missions in there as well. He’s now 8 months from retirement. Turning in his mountain of military equipment tomorrow and looking back he most regrets staying in until it made more sense to retire out than just getting out earlier. Shrug. It’s not an easy road.
The reason I need to involve the principal is that the kids are not supposed to have contact per the safety plan we signed. No talking, no group work together, no physical contact - can’t even be near each other.
Last time there was an issue, the kids were told to exchange Valentines. So DD1 gave that kid a valentine, and the kid refused to reciprocate (and other kids noticed). So I kind of don’t know what to do.
xctsclrx, I'm so sorry you're going through a deployment right now. One of my best friends is going through her husband's 4th deployment since they've been married and she has said this is by far the toughest to deal with because of everything going on. She said that she and a couple other military wives finally decided to "quarantine together" and let each other into their inner circles because it was too hard to stay totally isolated when normally they'd be leaning on each other so much during a deployment. Is that something you could consider?
twinmomma , unfortunately no, H is in the national guard, and as @mrsgreeko , said there isn't any military support for us, and then with COVID the base that is close by is mostly shut down. I can't use most of their family support stuff anyway because we don't live or work on base, but with the deployment it should have been opened up to us, and all of it shut down. yay....
Its okay, I am getting through it, I am trying to find things to look forward too.
twinmomma , unfortunately no, H is in the national guard, and as @mrsgreeko , said there isn't any military support for us, and then with COVID the base that is close by is mostly shut down. I can't use most of their family support stuff anyway because we don't live or work on base, but with the deployment it should have been opened up to us, and all of it shut down. yay....
Its okay, I am getting through it, I am trying to find things to look forward too.
Damn sorry you live in the shadows of the military too. It makes a bad thing even harder. I don’t know how old your kids are, but I am just now hearing from my now 13 year old how incredibly difficult it was when she was 10. Not having anyone who understood and well meaning people asking if her dad would get to come home for Christmas and such and just generally having absolutely no clue about how deployments work was apparently more difficult for her than I knew. My now 10 and 8 year olds seemed okay then and don’t seem to have major negative effects, but I wish I’d paid closer attention to what was going on with my oldest. Hard in the moment since I was in survival mode. But, if your kids are older keep a closer eye on them.
Yesterday was fun. Saturday the kids built a huge fort. We have been having a hilarious “parents vs kids” battle for the fort where we try to take over the fort from the kids. So yesterday I got an actual invitation into the fort. We got some cute family pics in the fort.
mae0111, are they any video requirements? Your DD can record something short and sweet and neutral. "Jerk face is in my class. I have known her since we started school here" and just be done with it.
She does not need to lie or say she likes the kid, but it is also a life skill for her to be able to do things like this, even if every fiber of her being doesn't want to.
I put DH in charge of the schedule today.. he took no input from me, didn't look at what we've done in past weeks that's worked well, and it's been a shit show. So that's been fun.
mellym I'm glad your test came back negative. My DS2's in home daycare is supposed to re-open a week from today, and I also think I'll miss having him home. He has been my least annoying child through this and makes my days brighter since he's so happy all the time. But it will be really nice for him to get back into a routine, to play with a couple little friends again, and for us to not have to juggle him while working. The change of scenery of going to her house should also be great.
His DCP has offered to take my older kids some, too, so I need to figure out how that will work, how much we'll pay her, etc. I'm sure the older kids would get bored there if they were just in her backyard with a few little kids all day, so we need to figure out a schedule. My kids could really use some time apart, so I'm debating sending one older kid one morning, the other older kid the next morning, both of them two mornings - or something like that. But then I can't predict if the one who is or isn't going would freak out about it on any given day. I think I'll sit them down and try to design a schedule along with them, so there's buy-in.
Mother's Day was pretty good. I slept in and exercised, and DH and the kids made chocolate chip pancakes. Then kids went in the pool with wetsuits because it was pretty cloudy and chilly. During DS2's nap I cleaned out the garage. Which isn't a very mothers day-ish activity, but I had been wanting to do it for awhile. Then we went to my parents' condo for dinner and my kids were SO badly behaved. At one point, DS1 kicked DS2 in the head over a toy. Luckily DH was more relaxed and hands-on with them than usual given the day. When we got home he threw them all back in the cold pool so that they'd wear themselves out and we could just rinse them and stick them in bed.
mae0111, are they any video requirements? Your DD can record something short and sweet and neutral. "Jerk face is in my class. I have known her since we started school here" and just be done with it.
She does not need to lie or say she likes the kid, but it is also a life skill for her to be able to do things like this, even if every fiber of her being doesn't want to.
That’s what I suggested. I told her to say “She likes unicorns!” Or “Her puppy is cute!” But she doesn’t want to do it because of what happened with the stupid valentines. If she doesn’t complete it, she gets a zero. But the other kid was told to give a valentine, refused, no punishment. I don’t feel like I should force her to do it, but I don’t think she should get a zero either.
sdlaura - I think the schedule you’re considering would work. Would the older kids respond to being “assistants” - helping with the younger kids and leading short, simple activities? Maybe your DCP would consider that??
mae0111 I think that's a great idea on how to frame it. DCP has also mentioned that she thinks DS1 would play well with her grandson who will also be there and is a year younger.
mae0111 if it were me I'd just ignore the assignment. If teacher says anything about it, you can share the no contact thing.
Same, I'd just ignore it. My kids get assigned birthday cards on Google classroom for every kid in the class who has a birthday right now. I know that not every kid gets one from every kid. Sometimes it just slips through the cracks with everything else going on.
Happy Monday..wish it were still the weekend..Mother's Day was good but quick...sadly didnt really get much alone time Hubby worked night before slept good part of day...but took a fun walk and play outside with son he even picked me a flower warmed my heart
Post by supertrooper1 on May 11, 2020 17:21:28 GMT -5
My weekend was good. Low key Saturday with beau and DS which included pizza and s'mores. Mother's Day, my parents and beau came over. I grilled kabobs and my mom made an amazing chocolate cake. XH helped DS buy chocolates and a card for me, and DS was super excited to give them to me yesterday morning.
DH is.. done. With everything. Unfortunately, no one can afford for him to be done.
He's currently on a conference call with his boss, and I can overhear bits and pieces of it. He just used the phrase "I'm on the struggle bus and have been for weeks."