bears , yup, I've heard that a few times. I've decided if that is what it takes, then I guess my kids won't play HS sports.
I do still want to keep them active, but we can do that by non team sports as a family (tennis, golf, disc golf, hiking, skiing, biking, skateboarding, rollerblading). Or maybe there are some laid back intermurals. I know he will age out of rec soccer at 12, and I am sad about that.
But he'll have to figure that out. We didn't have any rec or travel sports leagues in elementary when I was growing up except softball/ baseball, so he already is getting more than I did.
I know this will vary widely, but here you don't have to play select/travel sports in order to play at the high school level. At least with public schools - I've heard different things for the private schools. My sophomore has only played rec soccer and she plays on her high school JV team (the school has a varsity, JV and JVC team so she played JVC last year). Our rec soccer program also goes through high school so you may be able to find a rec league that goes older than 12?
Same with her lacrosse team. She does play travel lacrosse (which she LOVES - we are not under any delusions that it will help with college nor do we want to her to prioritize the lacrosse program when choosing a college) and I think because of that she made varsity as a freshman. But she was one of only three girls who played travel on her varsity team.
Post by plutosmoon on Sept 13, 2021 16:55:00 GMT -5
My Dd dances which has it's own issues with competition teams, but we only do the recreational side of it. There is a competition team at her studio, but most of the kids just do the regular classes. They have a very inclusive program for all ages and abilities on the recreational side, all the way through high school. I doubt we will ever move to competitive dance, I'm a single parent who has neither time nor money for it.
I never signed her up for regular or team sports because I find watching sports dull and didn't want to sit through a game. Other than swimming which is on a pandemic time out and gymnastics, which she lost interest in, she hasn't seemed all too interested. She now wants to try archery, but I can't find somewhere nearby for her to take lessons, the closest place is 90 minutes away. Sorry kid, that's not happening.
I find teen sports options disappointing, there should be more rec options for them. Kids should be able to participate in a sport even if they aren't very good. I played softball as a kid probably until about age 14 when I found other interests, I was terrible, but I enjoyed it, there was always a spot for me on the team in spite of my very poor sporting ability. I played intramural sports in college and had so much fun trying out different things, my sporting ability was still quite poor, I played hockey with my dorm in spite of never having been on a pair of skates prior to college. Intramurals were great exercise and really great for making friends and meeting new people. I wish we had more of those for high school kids.
Post by suburbanzookeeper on Sept 13, 2021 17:21:03 GMT -5
My brother & I both played club soccer in the 90s where our parents drove us all around the Southwestern US for a sport they also learned to love. I played ODP until injury ended my time. I went back and refereed, coached, and participated in AYSO board positions in my teens and early 20s. I *loved* my sport, what I didn't realize was how much that passion would destroy my body. I'm in my late 30's, I can't hold a gaming controller because of how many times I've broken/jammed/dislocated fingers. My orthopedist commented it was a good thing we already own a house without stairs.
My daughter has zero interest in competitive sports - she does Girl Scouts and 100 Mile Club and we're totally fine with that. My son is very athletic, sports and competition come easy to him... and we refuse to push it. I pulled him out of sports this fall, I didn't want the pressure or the chaos this year as we return to full time face-to-face learning. Rec is just a farming pool for the warm fuzzies of being able to say "my kid is on a club team!" There's nothing wrong with being a good rec player (or being a brand new one for that matter).
Everyone and their mother is now on a club team and it's a major $$$$ making enterprise.
Most of the AYSO crowd forgets that AYSO was originally a CHILD DEVELOPMENT program that utilized the game of soccer. Not to create future high school players or college players, but to encourage developmental skills.
I was talking to a parent about local youth cycling teams. The one he found/was talking to was mandatory 3x/wk practice. Races are all “travel” & take up most of a weekend day. His kid is 8!!! And the team wouldn’t accept anything less than 💯 commitment …”otherwise you just don’t want it enough.”
Completely the wrong attitude to get kids excited in a lesser done sport!
Our middle school has a mountain biking team. I called to ask about it because that sounded like the kind of chill sport my kids would like (chill as in you don't have to have been doing it year round since age 4). They practice 3 times a week all over the metro area (and carpooling is limited because you have to transport the bikes) and have full weekend races. The school provides no transportation.
This article doesn’t even touch on the lasting bodily injury that accompanies this level of sports in adolescence. My husband was a highly competitive swimmer and blew out a knee (ultimately needed it replaced at age 40 and will need the other one replaced before 50I played travel and high school basketball and did irreparable damage to a shoulder (three surgeries and it will never regain full function) and have minor knee damage as well.
“Be active” they said. “It’s good for you!” They said. Nobody thought about the lasting damage we were doing to our bodies.
And if your kid gets concussions, that’s even worse.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Sept 13, 2021 18:03:51 GMT -5
Is there anywhere left that kids even can play sports for fun anymore, without all the competitiveness? I feel like thanks to the pandemic and our unwillingness to participate in such things the last two summers, our almost 7-years-old our kid will already be "too far behind" to be welcome at anything sporty. Which is a shame. She's not very coordinated compared with other kids her age, and I can't really imagine her ever being a star player even if she decided to work her ass off for it, but she's so social and outgoing, I think she might really enjoy team sports in a non-competitive environment. If we can find one.
Is there anywhere left that kids even can play sports for fun anymore, without all the competitiveness? I feel like thanks to the pandemic and our unwillingness to participate in such things the last two summers, our almost 7-years-old our kid will already be "too far behind" to be welcome at anything sporty. Which is a shame. She's not very coordinated compared with other kids her age, and I can't really imagine her ever being a star player even if she decided to work her ass off for it, but she's so social and outgoing, I think she might really enjoy team sports in a non-competitive environment. If we can find one.
Our rec league soccer doesn't have goalies or keep score. My kid loves it.
Post by imojoebunny on Sept 13, 2021 18:34:18 GMT -5
I just read a post from a friend that her son, age 11 in 6th grade, was declined a spot on the track team, after tryouts. Mind you, there is no track prior to 6th grade around here. We are not a school system that "wins" all the sports. My son stopped playing soccer because there was no longer a rec team option when he was 10. He just wants one practice a week, and a game on Saturday morning, he doesn't want to practice 3 days a week and travel to games all weekend, but that is the option for the 10+. At 10, he has been told, that playing a game for fun and exercise is not a worthy activity, and my friend's son at 11. We are a country facing a huge obesity problem, yet we continue to allow school sports to be accessed only by the very few. Why is it not like a YMCA, where kids can take the classes that they want for fun and fitness, and those who want their kid to be a pro, can go elsewhere? Fewer than 30% of kids in our district participate in ANY school sport in middle and high (there aren't any in elementary), and that doesn't mean that those 30% are participating every year. They had 200 girls try out for 30 spots on the middle school soccer team. It is ridiculous.
How are places like the YMCA? Are those more like "for fun" and beginners? I always admired the intermural programs at college because everybody was encouraged to play in a wide variety of sport & you didn't need to be professional ability/skill or amazing to go out and have fun.
I'm always worried that my kid didn't start early enough...so even if we tried to sign them up now (for soccer maybe), I think they'd be behind others who have played for years.
My kids play through the Y. We have a family membership there, it’s walking distance from our house, and the schedules generally work for us as two working parents. They are great for beginners but you get a lot out of it even if you’re not. It’s nice that they can switch activities every 8 weeks or so if they end up not liking something. I think it’s important for them to find some kind of physical activity that’s fun for them. At the Y, they have done or do swimming, tennis, martial arts, and gymnastics. There are many more offerings too.
But, DD1 also plays ice hockey elsewhere. Not on a travel team and not inconvenient for us though - and she really seems to enjoy it. She’s almost 8 and I’m concerned about what she might want to do in the future because travel teams sound miserable. To be clear, our kids are basically expected to go to in-state public colleges that we can pay for without scholarships, so we are not looking at sports as a ticket to anything, but once you do open the door for them to fall in love with a sport, then you have to make some decisions.
I wondered the same thing the last time she posted about it.
I must have missed something. But this also seems to be a hot topic on Twitter so I don’t think the OP is finding her BFF’s random articles and posting them here lol.
I could have written this article. My husband and I are athletes - I played D1 college. Our kids are athletic and enjoy sports and we have refused to get involved in the world of travel sports. They play at school, they have a blast and it’s fun. I loathe the sports parent culture (the t-shirts, the social media posts, all of it). I don’t think we’re really missing out 🤷♀️
I think the specialization is insane and dangerous for kids. I played three varsity sports in high school and I think I was a better collegiate athlete because of it - I didn’t overdo any muscle groups. It makes me so mad to see kids specializing at 7-8.
Last Edit: Sept 13, 2021 20:05:03 GMT -5 by erbear
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Lol-no. She just writes a lot on culture & I appreciate her insights. I subscribe to her substack & many of the topics she writes about are popular discussion topics around here. I think that in a lot of ways, we've discussed many of the topics here already, but I'm glad to see a writer tackling the subjects and taking them to a bigger audience.
Is there anywhere left that kids even can play sports for fun anymore, without all the competitiveness? I feel like thanks to the pandemic and our unwillingness to participate in such things the last two summers, our almost 7-years-old our kid will already be "too far behind" to be welcome at anything sporty. Which is a shame. She's not very coordinated compared with other kids her age, and I can't really imagine her ever being a star player even if she decided to work her ass off for it, but she's so social and outgoing, I think she might really enjoy team sports in a non-competitive environment. If we can find one.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
My daughter is a swimmer and wants to compete pretty badly. We're going to make her wait til she's 9 or 10. We looked into competitive programs around here for kids her age (7) and they're 1). Super expensive and 2). Super time consuming.
There's a swim team through our local YMCA that requires a minimum of 3 practices a week... And those practices are on weekdays at 4 pm. Schools in the area get out at 3:55. I emailed the coach and asked how that works with school release times and he basically said "many kids come late and still get a lot out of 40-45 min of practice." People actually do that?
But... She. Is. 7. She doesn't need to train 3 hours a week for crying out loud. She shouldn't need to commit to only one sport at age 7.
So I will say that the Y is a good place to start if your daughter is really interested in year round swimming. And while they say they require 3 practices a week I would ask other parents - we started our daughter in a Y program at 6 and they said the same and we went usually about twice a week and they never said a word.
Swimming is a great sport. It is also, unfortunately, super intense, and at 10 my daughter practices 4-5 days a week (2 hours a day including dry land) but we also have her playing rec soccer. It's what sucks - kids start competitive swimming at 6 or 7 and by the time your child is 9 or 10 it's too late to really catch up.
My daughter is a swimmer and wants to compete pretty badly. We're going to make her wait til she's 9 or 10. We looked into competitive programs around here for kids her age (7) and they're 1). Super expensive and 2). Super time consuming.
There's a swim team through our local YMCA that requires a minimum of 3 practices a week... And those practices are on weekdays at 4 pm. Schools in the area get out at 3:55. I emailed the coach and asked how that works with school release times and he basically said "many kids come late and still get a lot out of 40-45 min of practice." People actually do that?
But... She. Is. 7. She doesn't need to train 3 hours a week for crying out loud. She shouldn't need to commit to only one sport at age 7.
So I will say that the Y is a good place to start if your daughter is really interested in year round swimming. And while they say they require 3 practices a week I would ask other parents - we started our daughter in a Y program at 6 and they said the same and we went usually about twice a week and they never said a word.
Swimming is a great sport. It is also, unfortunately, super intense, and at 10 my daughter practices 4-5 days a week (2 hours a day including dry land) but we also have her playing rec soccer. It's what sucks - kids start competitive swimming at 6 or 7 and by the time your child is 9 or 10 it's too late to really catch up.
She's been doing rec swimming for years now so I don't think she'll be behind, per se. We're switching her in a few weeks to a program run by the local school district that feeds into their competitive program, so she won't be actually competing but will still be doing the same stuff.
Even if practices aren't required 3x/week, the problem with the Y is the timing... With school getting out at 3:55, it'd be at least 4:30 before we got there and she got in the pool. And that's assuming I could consistently leave work twice a week at 3:45, which is not likely. 😉
So I will say that the Y is a good place to start if your daughter is really interested in year round swimming. And while they say they require 3 practices a week I would ask other parents - we started our daughter in a Y program at 6 and they said the same and we went usually about twice a week and they never said a word.
Swimming is a great sport. It is also, unfortunately, super intense, and at 10 my daughter practices 4-5 days a week (2 hours a day including dry land) but we also have her playing rec soccer. It's what sucks - kids start competitive swimming at 6 or 7 and by the time your child is 9 or 10 it's too late to really catch up.
She's been doing rec swimming for years now so I don't think she'll be behind, per se. We're switching her in a few weeks to a program run by the local school district that feeds into their competitive program, so she won't be actually competing but will still be doing the same stuff.
Even if practices aren't required 3x/week, the problem with the Y is the timing... With school getting out at 3:55, it'd be at least 4:30 before we got there and she got in the pool. And that's assuming I could consistently leave work twice a week at 3:45, which is not likely. 😉
that sounds like a great program! and I didn't mean your daughter would be behind, just in general it is ridiculous that if you aren't swimming multiple days a week by like 7 you will be behind. But that is the problem with pay to play culture in the US.
Post by redheadbaker on Sept 13, 2021 21:24:09 GMT -5
I want DS to play a sport because his energy level is through the roof. Being tired takes the edge off after his ADHD meds wear off.
He's in soccer right now. It's a "travel" league (the fartherest we travel for a game is 45 minutes) and no games start earlier than 10:30 a.m.
However, his assistant coach recently make the team run a lap for every teammate who arrived late EVEN BY A MINUTE. I emailed the program director. It might be travel league, but it's still 9-10 year old soccer, not the World Cup. The kids can't even get themselves to practice, and parents have other priorities than soccer.
Is there anywhere left that kids even can play sports for fun anymore, without all the competitiveness? I feel like thanks to the pandemic and our unwillingness to participate in such things the last two summers, our almost 7-years-old our kid will already be "too far behind" to be welcome at anything sporty. Which is a shame. She's not very coordinated compared with other kids her age, and I can't really imagine her ever being a star player even if she decided to work her ass off for it, but she's so social and outgoing, I think she might really enjoy team sports in a non-competitive environment. If we can find one.
You can sign up for our rec soccer league no matter the experience. If you know of a team you can request that team, if you don't they'll place you on a random team. We have a boy on DS' U13 rec team that joined this year and has never played before. He was definitely welcomed on to the team.
I teach in a sports media program at a university. In my Sports, Media, & Society class I have a section on youth sports that touches on all of this. The class is usually 125 students. I always ask who played youth sports. Almost all hands go up. Then I ask how many are currently on scholarship at our (D1) university. Maybe two hands stay up. They are always like “whoa” when they see it in that context.
The stories I have heard from them about their experiences the past couple years have been CRAZY. Not just as athletes - stories about parents as well.
The class where I learned parents are voluntarily opting their baseball pitchers into Tommy John’s surgery was something else.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Sept 14, 2021 5:51:34 GMT -5
Fyi youth swimming doesn't have to be intense. My town has a kids swim team through parks and rec and you can sign up for 1, 2, or 3 practices a week. They do two fun meets just with the rec team and don't go anywhere to compete. It's 100% about fun and building a little more endurance than you get from swim lessons.
It isn't advertised at all. If you didn't go look at the parks and rec website you'd never know it exists. It doesn't come up if you Google. People know about it basically from going to the parks and rec website to sign up for swim lessons.
I feel like the age where soccer stops being fun for my kids now is the age we were just starting to play growing up.
We have an Upward basketball league which is great for my older kid who likes to play but isn’t naturally athletic or competitive. Unfortunately, it only goes to grade 6 so he’ll age out next year and that will probably be the end of basketball because I don’t see him going out for the town or school teams. But I’m hopeful he’ll find a different club or activity that interests him in middle school. I want him to have some physical activity but I’m okay with not doing sports if he doesn’t want to. They have a bike club or maybe he will give cross country a whirl but I think he’ll be more interested in music/drama.
Also I have a lot of feelings about parents who base their whole fucking identify over their kids travel sports. Find some of your own hobbies and stop making your kid fill this void for you.
I feel like the age where soccer stops being fun for my kids now is the age we were just starting to play growing up.
Have we talked about this fact? Has the age at which we start organized sports decreased? I feel like some sports generally require skill/coordination/concentration levels that many kids aren't ready for at the age we are starting them now. If kids aren't really ready for it, everybody spends so much more time frustrated and watching a terrible game with few gains in skills. I'm thinking about how young kids start baseball or volleyball....it just seems like waiting a few years would be easier than starting too early.
We have my 8 year old in a few sports because he genuinely enjoys them. Rec baseball and basketball and "travel" soccer, which for us means no make it/don't make it tryouts at his age level (just to help sort onto different teams) and we don't have to go farther than 30 minutes away. The soccer league focuses on fundamentals and skill development for the younger kids which we really like, and his coach is freaking amazing and so patient with a team of wild 6-8 year olds. What really helps us is that we have a firm "one organized sport at time" rule-with both my husband's and my work schedules trying to swing two sports worth of practices, games, etc would put entirely too much unnecessary stress on all of us. Some of his teammates have kids in 3 sports right now which just boggles the mind but maybe that's just me.
InBetweenDays , oh I am sure it is possible to play in some areas or some sports without travel league experience. I am just not planning on it. If he gets on a team, fine, but I am not doing travel just so he makes a HS team. Where we live is more suburban, so I am assuming there is more competition for HS sports than many rural areas. I could be wrong though, but I know at least one parent had to do travel baseball so their kid could play baseball in HS, and now they are in college. So while, I am sure they enjoyed the travel baseball and playing for the HS, it wasn't like it was super important for their future life/ career or anything like that. The one person that got a scholarship ended up having problems with the coach and transferring schools anyway, so the scholarship benefits were likely nil, and from an admissions POV yes they got in, but it turned out not to be a good fit.
Also I have a lot of feelings about parents who base their whole fucking identify over their kids travel sports. Find some of your own hobbies and stop making your kid fill this void for you.
I said what I said. :-)
Clearly there are exceptions, but I find that the people I know who fall into this category generally haven’t done much since high school. They were the people I knew growing up who though they were going to go pro. Or they reached their peak in high school and want to somehow recreate that fabulousness for their kid. They also love the parent party life that goes along with the travel ball. The after game dinners. The drinking in the stands of kids’ games. The hotel parties after an out of town game. It’s their social world. DH and I are always like, “Don’t they get tired?” But DH and I partied a lot in our 20s and are just not into that anymore, so I’m sure that plays into our perception of the parent party world. And most of the friends we have are from before kids, so our friendships don’t have anything to do with kid activities, or the friends we do have because of our kids work as much as we do and also aren’t into the partying.
I feel like the age where soccer stops being fun for my kids now is the age we were just starting to play growing up.
Have we talked about this fact? Has the age at which we start organized sports decreased? I feel like some sports generally require skill/coordination/concentration levels that many kids aren't ready for at the age we are starting them now. If kids aren't really ready for it, everybody spends so much more time frustrated and watching a terrible game with few gains in skills. I'm thinking about how young kids start baseball or volleyball....it just seems like waiting a few years would be easier than starting too early.
I vividly remember rec soccer started at age 7 in my hometown growing up. It lasted all the way through age 14, I believe, and they always had enough participants within the town so that there were a few teams and we played at the same field every week. Included in the registration cost was a local business-sponsored t-shirt that you wore with your own Umbro shorts (or whatever brand your family could provide). I think one year I joined a travel team which went to surrounding towns but mostly stuck to the town league.
In our current town, they start at 3/4 (I think they even have groups for kids as young as 2 to play in). By age 8, we have to travel to surrounding towns (some as much as 40 minutes away) for games and purchase an Under Armour uniform (game shirt, practice shirt, shorts, and socks) for no less than $75, on top of the registration fee which is probably around the same. And they change them every couple years at least, so everyone is forced to buy new ones.
It’s horseshit, IMO. The ice cream man doesn’t even visit the fields after the games like he did in my day.