I just read a post from a friend that her son, age 11 in 6th grade, was declined a spot on the track team, after tryouts. Mind you, there is no track prior to 6th grade around here. We are not a school system that "wins" all the sports. My son stopped playing soccer because there was no longer a rec team option when he was 10. He just wants one practice a week, and a game on Saturday morning, he doesn't want to practice 3 days a week and travel to games all weekend, but that is the option for the 10+. At 10, he has been told, that playing a game for fun and exercise is not a worthy activity, and my friend's son at 11. We are a country facing a huge obesity problem, yet we continue to allow school sports to be accessed only by the very few. Why is it not like a YMCA, where kids can take the classes that they want for fun and fitness, and those who want their kid to be a pro, can go elsewhere? Fewer than 30% of kids in our district participate in ANY school sport in middle and high (there aren't any in elementary), and that doesn't mean that those 30% are participating every year. They had 200 girls try out for 30 spots on the middle school soccer team. It is ridiculous.
This was more or less my own experience growing up. My family had 3 kids and not a lot of money, so we each did 1 activity through the park district each year. Mine was dance, so I didn't do any other sports or anything. When I got to junior high, I tried out for several different sports teams and didn't make any of them. I always thought it was because I was not athletic, but as an adult I've realized that I was probably not athletic because I never really learned how to play any sports outside of gym class and many of the kids I was competing against for spots on the team had probably been playing other places for years by the time I tried to do it for the first time. And it's only gotten worse in the 25+ years since I was in junior high. It should come as no surprise that I've always struggled to be consistent with physical activity and being active. I do wonder if I would have had a different experience had I been put in sports as a younger child or had been allowed to join the teams when I was 11-12 years old. Then again, my H played a lot of sports as a kid and I'm definitely more active than he is these days, so it's not a guarantee either.
I found my niche in theater and music, so I also think there are great options for kids who want to be a part of a team/group but don't want to or can't do sports for whatever reason. It doesn't have to be just sports!
I feel like the age where soccer stops being fun for my kids now is the age we were just starting to play growing up.
Have we talked about this fact? Has the age at which we start organized sports decreased? I feel like some sports generally require skill/coordination/concentration levels that many kids aren't ready for at the age we are starting them now. If kids aren't really ready for it, everybody spends so much more time frustrated and watching a terrible game with few gains in skills. I'm thinking about how young kids start baseball or volleyball....it just seems like waiting a few years would be easier than starting too early.
I think I talk about this every time this subject comes up. But I did not want to center my life around my toddler's sports schedule. So I just figured that I would wait until my kids were old enough to express an interest in playing a sport.
Joke was on me, because by the time my 9 year old wanted to try baseball, we were universally told that it was "too late" to start community/rec team baseball. At 9. We didn't listen and he played spring and fall for the next 3 years. But he never got great, largely because he only played rec, and most kids also played travel. And also because it stops being instructional and just becomes competitive by 9. Oh and also teams were built by draft by that age, and no one wanted him because he wasn't, like, semi-pro by 4th grade. So he always ended up on teams with no one he knew, and it just made everything less fun.
I really wish there were other options for kids who just want to play for fun. Like a casual "beer league" but for kids.
Let's talk about the responses that I got when I told other moms that my 3, 4, 5 year old son didn't play sports.
Over and over, other moms would ask what sports he played. I would say, "Oh he's not really into sports" and almost without fail they'd say something like "Oh, I guess he's more of a video game kid."
As if my preschooler's only choices were to either play sports or play video games, with no other options.
He is super outdoorsy. We'd spend a lot of time hiking, riding bikes, swimming, playing with friends, helping grandparents. We didn't even own a video game system till he was in 4th grade.
Not that there is anything wrong with video games, but the condescension from the other moms when your kid didn't play sports was palpable.
Post by karinothing on Sept 14, 2021 10:38:27 GMT -5
I think the competitive nature of sports really depends on the team you are on, but it is hard to know that before going in, especially with a draft. Last year was the first year my kid played competitive sports. We were on a team that made it to the championships. My kid was not the best on the team. The coach was very competitive and he yelled sometimes but also very much supported the kids. When my son did well, the coach was over the moon but never once mentioned when he didn't do well. With kids that were on travel he was a little harsher on them if they messed up. It felt like a fair balance to me. But you get pulled into the competitive nature of the game and if you have a great team and great environment it can be wonderful. We had 4 days a week of baseball and I looked forward to it because I could hang out with people I liked for a a few hours, which gets to what formerlyak was saying. It is HARD to find friends as an adult and the team can give you built in friends and I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with enjoying that.
Also my kid doesn't do travel, but he does do private hitting lessons for more money than I care to admit. But I did this because I remember being the worst when I grew up and how it turned me off from sports and I didn't want that to happen. Plus, it was worth it because he was amazing his first game this year (like light years above last year) and the smile on his face plus the confidence he got is completely worth it to me. I do think its part of the culture here though. My kids also have private tutors for academic enrichment. I guess I am probably part of the problem.
Anyway, as long as you kid is having fun, I don't see the issue.
As a side note, our rec baseball league goes up to age 18 and travel requires that rec league takes priority.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Sept 14, 2021 10:39:17 GMT -5
This reminds me of a conversation I had recently with MIL. My nephews are big into the traveling sports and she mentioned that one of the kids on one nephew's team seems more interested in being goofy than playing and when I asked her to elaborate, basically, it sounded like the kid just doesn't enjoy the sport. When I mentioned that, she said "but he's pretty good" like she never considered that you can be good at something and not enjoy it.
Post by formerlyak on Sept 14, 2021 10:59:03 GMT -5
karinothing, I don't disagree that it's hard to find friends as an adult and other parents your kid plays sports or does any activity with can be a built in way to make new friends. But the post I quoted was about people whose "whole identity" revolves around their kids' sports. To me, those aren't the people who make friends with the parents of teammates - I think any of us with kids who played on a team of some sort has some friends they made as a result. It's the parent who every Instagram post is about their kids' sports. And everything is "#baseballmom". And they make social media accounts for their 8 year old to post sports pictures and tag them in them - their 8 year old has a special sports Insta that the parent manages! And they have trucker hats that rotate throughout the day that say "Soccer Mom" and "Baseball Mom" and the change them in the car between games. And half their wardrobe is parent shirts for their kids' team - even when they aren't at a game they are wearing them. And travel every weekend for this tournament or that tournament and use all of their work PTO to travel for their kids' sports. And, the sad part, when their kids hit about 10, they start talking about those parents behind their backs because the kids find it so embarrassing. And even sadder, I'm starting to see some of these parents send their kids off to college and they literally don't know what to do with themselves when they lose their kids' sports.
karinothing , I don't disagree that it's hard to find friends as an adult and other parents your kid plays sports or does any activity with can be a built in way to make new friends. But the post I quoted was about people whose "whole identity" revolves around their kids' sports. To me, those aren't the people who make friends with the parents of teammates - I think any of us with kids who played on a team of some sort has some friends they made as a result. It's the parent who every Instagram post is about their kids' sports. And everything is "#baseballmom". And they make social media accounts for their 8 year old to post sports pictures and tag them in them - their 8 year old has a special sports Insta that the parent manages! And they have trucker hats that rotate throughout the day that say "Soccer Mom" and "Baseball Mom" and the change them in the car between games. And half their wardrobe is parent shirts for their kids' team - even when they aren't at a game they are wearing them. And travel every weekend for this tournament or that tournament and use all of their work PTO to travel for their kids' sports. And, the sad part, when their kids hit about 10, they start talking about those parents behind their backs because the kids find it so embarrassing. And even sadder, I'm starting to see some of these parents send their kids off to college and they literally don't know what to do with themselves when they lose their kids' sports.
Oh, we do not have those types of people here, at least not that I have met lol. We are in a urban area though and that very distinctly feels suburban to me. But we did just start competitive sports so maybe I will see it. But yes, I agree making your entire life out of your kids sports is not healthy.
The question is from a parent who realized that their teenager's travel schedule for an elite sports team was taking over the whole family, consuming most of their free time, and interfering with the teenager's relationship with other family members. Taking a year off for covid made the parents realize that they don't want to go back to that lifestyle, even though their teenager does.
The columnist basically tells them that they should suck it up and let their kid go back to their pre-covid schedule, to the detriment of the other 4 members of the family.
Kids never having the opportunity to explore what types of exercise and movement they enjoy because of competition is one of my greatest fears. My biggest goal for my kids is to find ways to move/exercise that brings them joy. And this is definitely me projecting my own experience on them. But I get so much joy from movement and related hobbies. I want my kids to find that same joy in whatever they are into. I don't care what it is, but I want them to feel the satisfaction of a good hike or a nice run or whatever.
But yes this youth sports culture really stands in the way of exploring options.
Also on a similar note, with travel teams I always think about how it makes it so much harder for the family in general to live a healthy lifestyle. How are parents taking care of their own bodies when they are dedicating so much time to their kid's sports? Cooking good meals, keeping the house organize in order, sleeping etc. All part of health of the family. That is a thing I am not willing to compromise on.
Kids that specialize in one sport early on burn out by junior high in my experience. I cannot tell you how many 6th graders I know this year are ready to move on from dance and soccer after 6 years of giving it their all and their parents money.
What I really hate it is how hard it is to arrange time with friends if your kid ISN'T doing a sport.
DD played soccer for 5 years. She loved it until the focus was on winning. She got burned out pretty quickly when her friends were auditioning for club spots and she just wanted to play with friends. She is now doing tennis which is more her speed. Still expensive and still has the ability to be time consuming but it's more in her control on how competitive she wants it to be. She does love being active and playing sports but it's a fine line. It's so easy to cross over into the unreasonable.
Also my son had his first cross country meet last night and it was SO MUCH FUN. Wide range of abilities. Kids running 6 minutes splits and kids running 12 minute splits. Super supportive environment. Parents to kids all cheering each other on. Even the kids on other teams. And these are feeder programs to really good high school programs.
My son especially loves competing against himself and that was a big motivator for him. He had an awesome first race with 7 minute splits. And up until this point the only thing he has done was just run with his dad and go on runs on his own. Very easy to pick up for a novice. It just requires a decent amount of mental toughness to push yourself.
My youngest saw his older brother puke at the end of the race and declared he was never going to run cross country lololol. Anyways it might be my new favorite sport. Quick spectator sport. Fun to cheer on. Not cut throat. And we didn't have to dedicate years of support to get him to this point. He picked up the sport at an age appropriate time.
karinothing , I don't disagree that it's hard to find friends as an adult and other parents your kid plays sports or does any activity with can be a built in way to make new friends. But the post I quoted was about people whose "whole identity" revolves around their kids' sports. To me, those aren't the people who make friends with the parents of teammates - I think any of us with kids who played on a team of some sort has some friends they made as a result. It's the parent who every Instagram post is about their kids' sports. And everything is "#baseballmom". And they make social media accounts for their 8 year old to post sports pictures and tag them in them - their 8 year old has a special sports Insta that the parent manages! And they have trucker hats that rotate throughout the day that say "Soccer Mom" and "Baseball Mom" and the change them in the car between games. And half their wardrobe is parent shirts for their kids' team - even when they aren't at a game they are wearing them. And travel every weekend for this tournament or that tournament and use all of their work PTO to travel for their kids' sports. And, the sad part, when their kids hit about 10, they start talking about those parents behind their backs because the kids find it so embarrassing. And even sadder, I'm starting to see some of these parents send their kids off to college and they literally don't know what to do with themselves when they lose their kids' sports.
If I ever put a 'swim taxi mom' magnet on the back of my car I will declare my life done. I can't even with the moms who show up to swim meets with airbrushed shirts that say stuff like 'Swim Mom. Like a normal mom but louder and prouder!'. Or 'Swim Mom. If you follow me long enough you'll end up at a pool!'.
We are doing rec only, no travel so they can enjoy movement without competition, but lets be clear there is some competition involved and some fees, it is just way less than the travel leagues.
I have a small expectation that the kids will burnout even just doing this. 6 years of soccer is a lot anyway even just rec. If they want to continue no problem, if they want to stop then that's fine too. I am trying to follow their lead. I would like them to try new things, but I am also trying not to push them too much. We push them a little, just for exploration, not too much because I am not willing to drag them and make things harder. I would like DS to do band, but he has like 0% interest in music, so that is getting no traction at all ha ha.
I didn't realize there is a party culture to travel sports, but that does make sense. I am a huge introvert, so that has no appeal to me, and DH is really very much into what he wants to do not what others want to do (on a regular basis), so party culture is not for him either.
I have a t-shirt that says dog mom, but it really is more like "My family made me get a dog, do all the potty training, and all I got was this t-shirt" type thing. I do love the dog now... I'm definitely not a weird attire myself for every sport type person.
I do think there is something to be said about the impact on the family as a whole. My niece is in competitive dance, and at 8, "nationals" already dictates her family's vacations. They traveled this summer to Pigeon Forge and to another spot last year specifically because of her competition.
She is in practice 10 or more hours a week and competitions take up a whole weekend. I was shocked to hear that she was competing at 9 pm on a Sunday one weekend.
They are paying 700 dollars a month for classes and more for costumes.
It just seems like an incredible strain on the family from the time commitment to the money.
To me, it all seems like "big business" and a manipulation of parents, but what isn't, I guess...
Post by mccallister84 on Sept 14, 2021 13:03:46 GMT -5
I have no idea how these parents do it. I have two girls (3 and 4) who just started soccer this fall. They play for 10 weeks. It’s an hour commitment a week - they “practice” for half an hour and then “play a game” for the second half hour. I already hate it. I feel like it kills our Saturday. And this week they had it at the same time so it was only an hour! Next year when DD1 is in kindergarten if she wants to continue it becomes two practices during the week and a game on Saturday. This is our local rec league.
karinothing , I don't disagree that it's hard to find friends as an adult and other parents your kid plays sports or does any activity with can be a built in way to make new friends. But the post I quoted was about people whose "whole identity" revolves around their kids' sports. To me, those aren't the people who make friends with the parents of teammates - I think any of us with kids who played on a team of some sort has some friends they made as a result. It's the parent who every Instagram post is about their kids' sports. And everything is "#baseballmom". And they make social media accounts for their 8 year old to post sports pictures and tag them in them - their 8 year old has a special sports Insta that the parent manages! And they have trucker hats that rotate throughout the day that say "Soccer Mom" and "Baseball Mom" and the change them in the car between games. And half their wardrobe is parent shirts for their kids' team - even when they aren't at a game they are wearing them. And travel every weekend for this tournament or that tournament and use all of their work PTO to travel for their kids' sports. And, the sad part, when their kids hit about 10, they start talking about those parents behind their backs because the kids find it so embarrassing. And even sadder, I'm starting to see some of these parents send their kids off to college and they literally don't know what to do with themselves when they lose their kids' sports.
If I ever put a 'swim taxi mom' magnet on the back of my car I will declare my life done. I can't even with the moms who show up to swim meets with airbrushed shirts that say stuff like 'Swim Mom. Like a normal mom but louder and prouder!'. Or 'Swim Mom. If you follow me long enough you'll end up at a pool!'.
Just, no.
They are awful! The ones I've seen at lacrosse tournaments say "Lacrosse moms - like a normal mom but better!" and are somewhat bedazzled. If I ever wanted our kids to quit lacrosse I'd buy one of those t-shirts because they wouldn't go anywhere near a field if I was wearing that.
Post by scribellesam on Sept 14, 2021 13:56:17 GMT -5
When we signed our 6yo up for Little League this fall, we were told it was much more laid back than the spring season, focused on building skills more than competition. It sounded perfect since he’d never played sports outside a few weeks of Ymca sports clinics. But come to find out he has two 2-hour practices weekly, two hour games every weekend, and the coach stresses often how players should be practicing with parents several times weekly outside of practice. So much for laid back!
I enjoy watching him play because it brings him so much joy right now, but I have zero investment as a “sports parent.” My H and I didn’t play any team sports growing up - for me, because I had no interest but for H, his family couldn’t afford it. I definitely feel like H veers a little overboard in supporting our son’s hobby because it was an experience he wanted as a child that he wasn’t able to have. I admit I’m reading this thread with some amount of horror, seeing adults with lifelong physical issues because of childhood sports.
InBetweenDays , oh I am sure it is possible to play in some areas or some sports without travel league experience. I am just not planning on it. If he gets on a team, fine, but I am not doing travel just so he makes a HS team. Where we live is more suburban, so I am assuming there is more competition for HS sports than many rural areas. I could be wrong though, but I know at least one parent had to do travel baseball so their kid could play baseball in HS, and now they are in college. So while, I am sure they enjoyed the travel baseball and playing for the HS, it wasn't like it was super important for their future life/ career or anything like that. The one person that got a scholarship ended up having problems with the coach and transferring schools anyway, so the scholarship benefits were likely nil, and from an admissions POV yes they got in, but it turned out not to be a good fit.
A neighbor kid committed early to a college and scholarship on the promise she’d play a sport. Then spring of junior year found out about a cardiac complication so it all fell apart. Building all your future hopes on something as changeable as the child/teen body (and it’s relative agility/size/strength/speed to other changing teen bodies) is folly.
When we signed our 6yo up for Little League this fall, we were told it was much more laid back than the spring season, focused on building skills more than competition. It sounded perfect since he’d never played sports outside a few weeks of Ymca sports clinics. But come to find out he has two 2-hour practices weekly, two hour games every weekend, and the coach stresses often how players should be practicing with parents several times weekly outside of practice. So much for laid back!
I enjoy watching him play because it brings him so much joy right now, but I have zero investment as a “sports parent.” My H and I didn’t play any team sports growing up - for me, because I had no interest but for H, his family couldn’t afford it. I definitely feel like H veers a little overboard in supporting our son’s hobby because it was an experience he wanted as a child that he wasn’t able to have. I admit I’m reading this thread with some amount of horror, seeing adults with lifelong physical issues because of childhood sports.
That is insane and I am pretty sure goes against little league standards..my kid didn't have two practices or two hour games until age 9 (after playing 4 previous levels and 5 years of baseball).
My 6 yr old has one 1 hr practice and one 45 minute game a week.
When we signed our 6yo up for Little League this fall, we were told it was much more laid back than the spring season, focused on building skills more than competition. It sounded perfect since he’d never played sports outside a few weeks of Ymca sports clinics. But come to find out he has two 2-hour practices weekly, two hour games every weekend, and the coach stresses often how players should be practicing with parents several times weekly outside of practice. So much for laid back!
I enjoy watching him play because it brings him so much joy right now, but I have zero investment as a “sports parent.” My H and I didn’t play any team sports growing up - for me, because I had no interest but for H, his family couldn’t afford it. I definitely feel like H veers a little overboard in supporting our son’s hobby because it was an experience he wanted as a child that he wasn’t able to have. I admit I’m reading this thread with some amount of horror, seeing adults with lifelong physical issues because of childhood sports.
That is insane and I am pretty sure goes against little league standards..my kid didn't have two practices or two hour games until age 9 (after playing 4 previous levels and 5 years of baseball).
My 6 yr old has one 1 hr practice and one 45 minute game a week.
After sitting through a two hour game in 97 degree heat this past weekend, that sounds amazing. I’m not sure if the long practices are just the coach or what - my friend’s kids play in another part of the county and have the same length games but only one 75 minute practice weekly.
Post by amberlyrose on Sept 14, 2021 16:43:55 GMT -5
I hope our future kids take after us and have terrible hand/eye coordination after reading that. Though my parents did spend tons of money on cheer and gymnastics, but both my sister and I were into it, so it worked for our family dynamic.
That is insane and I am pretty sure goes against little league standards..my kid didn't have two practices or two hour games until age 9 (after playing 4 previous levels and 5 years of baseball).
My 6 yr old has one 1 hr practice and one 45 minute game a week.
After sitting through a two hour game in 97 degree heat this past weekend, that sounds amazing. I’m not sure if the long practices are just the coach or what - my friend’s kids play in another part of the county and have the same length games but only one 75 minute practice weekly.
2 hours is just developmentally inappropriate. IMO. Kids that young can't focus that long!
I found a 3 week session for 3 year old soccer for DS to try. He stood on the field and cried the whole time for the first 2 classes so we didn't even take him for the third class. $75 wasted and that's probably the end of his chance at being a pro-soccer player.
I put DD in 3rd grade town soccer so she can meet some kids in her grade and hopefully her class. It's 1 or 2 practices a week and a game on Saturdays. I don't mind the schedule; she did some once-a-week soccer things in past years and those just seemed useless. I never saw them play any sort of game, just individual dribbling and some individual kicking and running. I didn't realize that parents stay at the practice until the coach called me last night saying practice was over, where was I? I said it's only 8:45, the email said it ends at 9. Apparently I was the only parent who didn't stay to watch their kid. I find watching sports so boring but I will try to force myself to go next time and hopefully make some adult acquaintances.
We are not athletic people and unless DS has some random sports super skill emerge in the next few years, I can't see devoting my life to this.
. I would say, "Oh he's not really into sports" and almost without fail they'd say something like "Oh, I guess he's more of a video game kid."
.
WTF to this insane comment, bc toddlers and preschoolers are huge gamers? What a stupid stereotype.
I have an 8 yr old boy who is really into all sports now…at 4 we wasted $220 of our money bc he did not once play even a single day of soccer during the 8 week pre school soccer program we signed him up for. We thought he’d like to try something other than his Saturday gymnastics class and we were clearly very wrong.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Sept 14, 2021 21:24:11 GMT -5
I didn’t play sports and our kids were never really fond of team or recreational sports. Just…meh. I’m not shuffling a gaggle of kids to different activities. A few of our kids train Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which is convenient for us because my husband runs the kids program and we don’t pay dues. Our almost 15-year-old likes fencing and wants to try archery. That’s about it in our household.
I found a 3 week session for 3 year old soccer for DS to try. He stood on the field and cried the whole time for the first 2 classes so we didn't even take him for the third class. $75 wasted and that's probably the end of his chance at being a pro-soccer player.
I put DD in 3rd grade town soccer so she can meet some kids in her grade and hopefully her class. It's 1 or 2 practices a week and a game on Saturdays. I don't mind the schedule; she did some once-a-week soccer things in past years and those just seemed useless. I never saw them play any sort of game, just individual dribbling and some individual kicking and running. I didn't realize that parents stay at the practice until the coach called me last night saying practice was over, where was I? I said it's only 8:45, the email said it ends at 9. Apparently I was the only parent who didn't stay to watch their kid. I find watching sports so boring but I will try to force myself to go next time and hopefully make some adult acquaintances.
We are not athletic people and unless DS has some random sports super skill emerge in the next few years, I can't see devoting my life to this.
Parents are unofficially expected to stay at rec sports here because the coach is a volunteer. I don't know about your set up but at ours, the bathrooms are really far away and close to the parking lot. I never left DD unless another parent agreed to keep track of her (and I did it for other parents) since the coach can't stop coaching to help if they need a bathroom escort, get upset, etc.
I found a 3 week session for 3 year old soccer for DS to try. He stood on the field and cried the whole time for the first 2 classes so we didn't even take him for the third class. $75 wasted and that's probably the end of his chance at being a pro-soccer player.
I put DD in 3rd grade town soccer so she can meet some kids in her grade and hopefully her class. It's 1 or 2 practices a week and a game on Saturdays. I don't mind the schedule; she did some once-a-week soccer things in past years and those just seemed useless. I never saw them play any sort of game, just individual dribbling and some individual kicking and running. I didn't realize that parents stay at the practice until the coach called me last night saying practice was over, where was I? I said it's only 8:45, the email said it ends at 9. Apparently I was the only parent who didn't stay to watch their kid. I find watching sports so boring but I will try to force myself to go next time and hopefully make some adult acquaintances.
We are not athletic people and unless DS has some random sports super skill emerge in the next few years, I can't see devoting my life to this.
Parents are unofficially expected to stay at rec sports here because the coach is a volunteer. I don't know about your set up but at ours, the bathrooms are really far away and close to the parking lot. I never left DD unless another parent agreed to keep track of her (and I did it for other parents) since the coach can't stop coaching to help if they need a bathroom escort, get upset, etc.
I hated soccer, lol.
These coaches are also volunteers, there are 3 of them. I didn't think of this aspect of staying around in case something happens. I told DD that she does not want to be using a port-a-potty at the soccer fields so watch how much you drink before I dropped her off. Last night we didn't know which field she was supposed to report to, the one on the right or the one on the left, and I had DS in the car with me so I wasn't about to haul him around in the chaos to find out. We just kept circling the lot until she recognized one of the coaches and his twins in the lot and I told her "go follow them."
Post by 1confused1 on Sept 14, 2021 23:00:09 GMT -5
I should probably not be in this post, but we are that travel baseball family that spends lots of money to travel, sets alarms for 4:30am to get to games, wears the “I can’t, my kid has baseball” shirt. But, this is 100% my kid’s decision, not mine. He is very good and very driven to play in college, so I do what I can to support his dream.
karinothing , I don't disagree that it's hard to find friends as an adult and other parents your kid plays sports or does any activity with can be a built in way to make new friends. But the post I quoted was about people whose "whole identity" revolves around their kids' sports. To me, those aren't the people who make friends with the parents of teammates - I think any of us with kids who played on a team of some sort has some friends they made as a result. It's the parent who every Instagram post is about their kids' sports. And everything is "#baseballmom". And they make social media accounts for their 8 year old to post sports pictures and tag them in them - their 8 year old has a special sports Insta that the parent manages! And they have trucker hats that rotate throughout the day that say "Soccer Mom" and "Baseball Mom" and the change them in the car between games. And half their wardrobe is parent shirts for their kids' team - even when they aren't at a game they are wearing them. And travel every weekend for this tournament or that tournament and use all of their work PTO to travel for their kids' sports. And, the sad part, when their kids hit about 10, they start talking about those parents behind their backs because the kids find it so embarrassing. And even sadder, I'm starting to see some of these parents send their kids off to college and they literally don't know what to do with themselves when they lose their kids' sports.