Post by georgeharrison on Oct 19, 2021 7:45:25 GMT -5
I'm early today.
My h is gone for three days for work. We have a lot going on right now, so it will be interesting to see if I lose my marbles or not. I think I will be okay,
We close on Thursday. Our cash to close is much lower than I was expecting, so that pleases me immensely. And all the rest of that $ can go to some new furniture. Or I could keep it in savings <----boring.
Our 17th anniversary is on Saturday. Sometimes when our anniversary comes along, I think, "I can't believe we made it to this one." This is one of those...
Poor DH is on the "bus stop parents" text chain. He got a message the bus was going to be early based on another parent. It's crazy hair day, so we were running slightly behind. So she quickly gets out there and then the bus was on time? So why did we rush?
Also, the app has not worked in the mornings since week 2. So I just sent another email with a "hey do you know when the app will be fixed?" question. It makes no sense to have an app that says "Your bus is not running a scheduled route" every morning. It barely works in the afternoons.
My stepdaughter could not pass her running test at bootcamp so she is being separated.
This is really bad timing. My H has been unemployed for almost 2 years. I told him if we can't keep the house, then we will be separating. We have a pending application to extend the mortgage forbearance another 3 months if they won't then I'll probably pull money from my 401k to bring it current, sell the house and then put the money back after the sale (if I can even do that, one of the things I have to look into) H has interest from a job and is applying to everything he can find, so its basically a race against the clock.
SD is very difficult to live with. This is going to be super stressful, on top of all the other stress. And my plan involved getting an apartment for me and my 8 yo thinking she was taken care of, so I have no clue what to do about her if we can't keep the house. She is coming home to live in a dumpster fire and of course knows none of this.
We've been up since 3 watching our old girl dog. She pooped in her bed and then threw up then didn't have the energy to come back inside after I let her out. Then she was shivering and then panting hard. Was trying to wait till 8 when our regular vet opens, but then found out they were closed because two of the staff got covid. She seems to be feeling a little better and had a cookie and some ham, so hopefully things are looking up for her.
I’m sorry CurlyQ284 that is a lot of pressure from every side.
I’m wondering though. If you’re set to leave your H without a job, do you even want to stay if he finds one? Huge hugs. It can’t be easy with kids and step kids too.
I’m in Vegas for work. I’ve never been before. This place is something else. I don’t even know what to think. Everything is very…extra. LOL
I really needed some adult interaction though so I am thrilled to be here.
I hope you get to do some fun stuff while you are there.
We’re pretty swamped with work, but I’ve been sneaking out just to walk around in between events. Last night I walked down to see the fountains at the Bellagio. Super cool!
I hope you get to do some fun stuff while you are there.
We’re pretty swamped with work, but I’ve been sneaking out just to walk around in between events. Last night I walked down to see the fountains at the Bellagio. Super cool!
My husband is on a conference call with some people in the UK. I should probably close my door to concentrate more on my own stuff, but I am enjoying the murmur of their British accents. This is where I find myself two years post a plane ride, I guess!
I’m sorry CurlyQ284 that is a lot of pressure from every side.
I’m wondering though. If you’re set to leave your H without a job, do you even want to stay if he finds one? Huge hugs. It can’t be easy with kids and step kids too.
I am not sure. I can't think that far ahead with all this. It's possible I decide to leave anyway. I just made it clear that if we can't keep the house, he isn't coming with me.
ETA In all likelihood, I will probably just stay if he gets a job. My kid has issues, when we moved into this house he pretty much went off the rails, throwing chairs at school, acting out. Im not sure how much of that was adjustment and how much of that was his other issues. They say he has adjustment disorder along with the other things he has.
I think I would rather just deal with this marriage than have my son go through that again. That was much more stressful on me than anything my H has done or not done.
I’m so sorry CurlyQ284, that sounds really stressful all around. We’re in the mountains for two nights, got here last night. It’s snowing! I have no idea what we’re doing up here today but it was nice to get away for a day. DS2’s football team is going out for pizza and wings Thursday night and I’m hoping DH is home from a work trip in time to take him. I’m sure it’s going to be all the dads and kids and I really don’t want to try and fit in with that.
Ds3 has preschool today so I have 6 kid free hours ! The puppy is still a lot of work so I’m hoping she won’t whine too much when I crate her for a bit to get things done.
At the eye doctor with DS, he’s started having pain in his eye. Trying not to worry.
Headed to my Dads tonight to take him food. My Sister who lives with him normally has Covid so she’s staying elsewhere for the week.
Update: no changes since his last exam so the doctor just thinks it's pain from the initial trauma. I guess that's good? We follow back up in November, so hopefully nothing else happens between then and now. He just said Advil for pain.
Post by lilypad1126 on Oct 19, 2021 9:15:05 GMT -5
@sameoldstory, glad to hear it's not pain from something new/worse!
CurlyQ284, I'm sorry, that sounds so stressful. I hope things work out in whatever way you want them to.
My mom and I finalized plans for her visit in November. I'm both excited to see her and already stressed out about having someone else in my space for 5 days. I'm trying to focus on the excitement for now.
[mention]curlyq284 [/mention] that is a lot! I’m sorry it’s all coming to a head like this. Where would your husband live if you separated? Could your stepdaughter live with him or her mom if she had to until she got on her feet? Or her sister (I don’t recall where she is living right now)? A friend from school, they are are over 18 now so someone might be around looking for a roommate. Or bunk on your sofa? I think there are some options here. You’ve really been through a lot for many years now, I think it’s okay to look out for you and your son first.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Oct 19, 2021 9:20:16 GMT -5
georgeharrison, hey, we share an anniversary date! It's our 11th on Saturday, and I feel you deeply on the "I can't believe we made it to this one," front. Rough year. Rough. May the next one be better.
CurlyQ284, I'm sorry. What a cluster. I hope it turns into one of those things where everything falls into place and you can do what you need to do.
We leave for an anniversary trip tomorrow. We decided to take a long weekend in a little cottage and go hiking in the fall color. I'm looking forward to it. It has been a really, really hard year for our marriage and we've been a whisper away from splitting many times. I'm ready to start re-filling the tank and have better experiences together. I just don't have the bandwidth to stay in the shit anymore.
I'm still chugging along with running. My little training app has pushed me up to 25 minutes of running, no walking breaks. How the ever loving fuck do people do this? I can run it, but it's awful every. single. time. Hats off to the runners of the world, because it's not me.
I need to make some local friends but I’m so damn awkward, it seems like everyone I meet might want to hang out once and then nothing. It makes me envious when I see all these people posting fun girls weekends and then kids outings.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Oct 19, 2021 9:29:46 GMT -5
I’m irrationally annoyed that a publisher sent me a textbook that I didn’t request. A global history of art I and II combined edition! It’s HUGE. I don’t make decisions about textbooks! And did I mention? ITS SO FRICKIN BIG? I can’t sell it or trade it in, I feel guilty throwing it out, but I have it digitally as well. I guess I’ll just take it to my office and leave it there.
A paper, hardback, nearly 1000 page book! Like, thanks publisher, I guess
CurlyQ284, that is a lot. Please try and take care of yourself too.
Yeah I've been doing therapy through my EAP, and walking 2 miles per day, quit drinking etc. My boss put me in for a promotion so that might be on the horizon at least. All that has helped with my anxiety. Im trying to just leave it to God as they say (even though I'm an athiest) I've just done what I can do, its not up to me at this point.
I've got savings, and if we sell the house I'll walk away with a good chunk of money. I know I'll be ok if the worst should happen and I guess SD will get top bunk in DSs room until she can restart bootcamp after 6 months. It just sucks and is exhausting.
I'm at home, recovering from surgery. I feel mostly fine, some pain when I get up or down or stand too long, but sitting or lying down it is pretty minimal. Hopefully that continues. Since I had a blood clot in January, they gave me this injection medicine to avoid blood clots, which is scary and weird. My H injected it for me last night, which was great because I assumed he'd be too squeemish to do it, but he wasn't! I am not sure how I feel about giving myself a shot, I usually look away when getting them from other people.
My H has interviews with 2 jobs today, and I really hope he gets an offer from them both! It sounds pretty likely one will offer it to him (the job is unposted so we're not sure they are even looking at anyone else, he just got this interview through his network) but the other one is a better fit, so I hope they both offer them the job and he'll get to choose. His post-doc isn't over until March, but he would likely start either of these jobs sooner and just end the post-doc early. His current supervisor said that's totally fine to do. So, fingers crossed!
Add me to the list of people dealing with bus nonsense.
School is a 5 minute drive and they typical get home 35-40 minutes after dismissal... Previous years, it was only 15 minutes, but the kids are not minding the wait and love the bus.
However, every few weeks, for several days, the bus is delayed and does not get home until 75+ minutes after dismissal. I typically run up to school to pick them up. This is turning into a huge pain because my daughter is doing an after school activity that releases at 5:15 2x/week... So now I'm trying to coordinate her pick up with my son on the bus and trying to avoid multiple pickups and having him get off the bus while I'm picking her up.
I hate this--it's screwing over so many parents to not have reliable transportation and I understand my pain is not nearly as bad as the families who are bused in from out of town. They pay bus drivers crap so no one wants to work this job in a pandemic and they are squeezing the existing drivers so hard to handle the routes. I would gladly pay more in taxes or just give a lump sum to the school to offset giving the drivers better pay.