Post by sillygoosegirl on Nov 1, 2021 17:15:21 GMT -5
I don't think the phrase "rich life" is typically meant to have anything to do with money. It has to do with things like having meaningful social and family relationships, fulfilling work, enjoyable hobbies, good enough health that it's not interfering with living your life, and so forth.
Not to say money doesn't help with many things, including those, but taking a 2nd job so you can afford pilot's lessons may not provide a "richer life" than finding other things that will bring you joy that aren't so expensive, at least not for most people. To me, "rich life" means rich in joy, which doesn't always correlate with rich in money.
Post by goldengirlz on Nov 1, 2021 17:16:52 GMT -5
I knew I was rich when I stopped thinking about how much things cost. That doesn’t mean I can splash out on whatever luxury item or experience I want, but it does mean I can go into a supermarket, buy groceries, pay the bill and not have the slightest idea how much I just spent. It actually scared me at first when I realized that I couldn’t even begin to guess how much our electrical bill is, how much I spent on our last restaurant meal or what we paid for our last vacation.
It’s so freeing to be able to say “yes” to things without having to think about the budget.
But I do think about what that means in terms of raising DD. She’s spoiled in ways she couldn’t even begin to appreciate and I do wonder at what point it’s too much.
Yes sonrisa and heygrey , my parents used a home equity line of credit when our TV broke when I was a kid, to replace it.
expectantsteelerfan , along those same lines, I'd like my kids to be able to take a really cool unpaid internship vs. always needing one that paid, since I had wished I could do that in college.
And ETA turkletsmom, I would (and do) pick the regular blow outs and house cleaner over a fancy purse anytime - this chat is really interesting to illustrate how reasonable people can all have different priorities with extra $.
Post by turkletsmom on Nov 1, 2021 17:19:13 GMT -5
My rich wants for some day- to travel internationally with my kids, get regular blow outs and to have a regular house cleaning service
What I currently have that makes me feel rich- I'm a SAHM that sends my twins to private Pre-K. I recently bought myself a $$$$ YSL purse for my upcoming 40th birthday. I just bought my airline ticket for a girls weekend with my friends to celebrate my birthday. Tomorrow I'm going to Walmart to buy a 14ft inflatable Santa Claus just because I think it's funny. I'm living the dream LOL.
sillygoosegirl As I said above, I completely agree with that sentiment and you’re absolutely right that in most cases the definition of “rich life” would be exactly as you stated.
But I’m this particular context this author has used it in a different way, which I defined in the OP based on his words from a podcast (and, I assume, his book).
Neither is right or wrong. I was just trying to start a fun conversation. And like someone else in this post said, I think it’s super interesting to see what other people would prioritize. As an example, expensive name brand X thing may not appeal to me in the least, but I’d feel so rich having a regular house cleaner. Or sending my laundry out. For another person they’ll happily scrub their own toilets if it means they can eat out once a week.
ellipses84 I used to think that too about regular massages. But now I can afford them and still don't do them. So they must not have been that important to me
That’s true. I’m sure I could find room in the budget for those things at this point, if I really wanted to. I just always think I’ll have nothing to show for all the money spent a year from now.
Post by HoneySpider on Nov 1, 2021 17:38:15 GMT -5
1. I'd love to be able to go into one grocery store and get everything I need and not worry about prices, as opposed to shopping at multiple places to take advantage of deals.
2. It would be really awesome to be able to leave a huge tip whenever we eat out, because it would be so awesome to make someone's day.
3. Regular pedicures
4. Vacations, with and without kids, that don't involve visiting any family
I occasionally see his social media posts and I’ve seen this from other #debt free community gurus. The premise is no matter how much money you have, you won’t be able to afford everything, so you need to determine what is most important to you for your own “Rich life” and budget for those things. For some people that may be travel. For others it may be working less, retiring early or owning a home.
I grew up in a working poor family and for me it’s being able to order a drink besides water at a restaurant and being able to take my kids to things that have a cost of admission without thinking about it. Aside from that, I prioritize travel, but it’s not luxury travel. I used to say I’ll know I’ve made it when I can hire a repeat house cleaner and afford regular massages. So far neither of those things have happened. It’s hard for me to spend money on non-tangible things unless it’s an experience for my family.
It is still hard for me to order anything other than water! Meanwhile my husband is ordering iced tea all willy nilly and buying two of everything at the supermarket while I know how much everything costs in a six mile radius.
THIS! My H orders the freaking SPECIAL. Look buddy that dinner is always, at least in our case, so over priced. Why?! It drives me crazy.
So I guess him ordering the special and me not thinking I'm never going out with this joker again would be an example of a rich life. I know I sound ridiculous.
This just reminds me that appearances are often a facade. We could afford to do a lot of things but we choose not to because the long term goal of retiring early and ironically (if things happen as our financial planner projects) for us to actually live a more luxurious lifestyle in retirement too. We could afford a house cleaner, nicer cars etc but they don’t seem worth it to us. Everyone’s splurges should be personal to them. We have agreed that we would love to start spending more $ on experiences and buying a vacation home to create memories with our kids (but again being that finance minded people that we are also want to make $ off of it) and not just swing a second mortgage just because we can. Ideally we want to have that paid for or at least mostly paid for.
But to actually answer the question, I’d say not budgeting, buying most needs and wants and not thinking about the little splurges here and there. I still refuse to “waste” $ on things that aren’t worth it to me.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Nov 1, 2021 17:47:52 GMT -5
- Taking money out of the consideration for literally everything we do - House cleaner - Two yearly family vacations, one to Spain to see the ILs and one just us - Being able buy furnishings not grossly marked down or from ikea (or both...) - Signing kids up for summer camps without having to look at the price tag - Being able to buy Christmas presents like the lists I see posted here. Some people spend our entire gift budget on 1 person. - Buying a house in our neighborhood (laugh sob)
Post by mrsslocombe on Nov 1, 2021 17:48:18 GMT -5
-getting whatever level concert tickets I wanted and not just the cheap seats/GA -a personal trainer -taking friends or family on vacation and paying for their share -(very specific to NYC) a car + a parking space in a 24/7 access garage -As a freelancer, choosing to work only a certain # of weeks/projects per year and not feeling like I have to take every possible week I can -And the most depressing: going to the doctor when I felt like I needed to, vs debating if its worth $500+ to most likely find out it's nothing.
I always wanted an en suite bathroom. I know these are common but I've never lived anywhere with one and I thought only fancy/rich people had them. I'm finally buying a house with one 😊
Also a sun roof in a vehicle. Again, not a big deal to most but I was always in awe of them.
Now, to me financially a goal would be able to travel once a year. We aren't there yet.
Oh, I saw this in another post but a house cleaner is out of my reach, too.
Post by W.T.Faulkner on Nov 1, 2021 17:51:28 GMT -5
Giving to our children what my parents were able to give me — an amazingly generous head start in adult life (college, grad school, wedding, large down payment on a home).
Post by rupertpenny on Nov 1, 2021 17:58:35 GMT -5
When I was a kid the things I considered "rich people" things included: -ordering appetizers and desserts -houses with stairs in them -refrigerators with water/ice dispensers on the door and/or garage refrigerators -buying anything at a gift shop ever
Things that still feel like "rich people" things even though I could afford them now: -having my nails done regularly, getting facials, etc. -buying the top of the line version of anything -buying proper furniture from somewhere like Room & Board -having a fancy mattress -$$$ @kid activities
Things I have now that would have seemed luxurious beyond belief in my childhood: -having a regular housekeeper -taking taxis -ordering drinks that don't have free refills! -fancy gym membership -buying anything, literally anything, on a whim
I also have a skewed NYC version of super-rich people things which include: -having central air, in-unit laundry, AND a dishwasher all at the same time -having more than two kids and/or having enough space so that your kids have their own rooms -never using public transportation -using an interior designer -sending kids to sleep-away camp for EIGHT WEEKS every year!!!
This just reminds me that appearances are often a facade. We could afford to do a lot of things but we choose not to because the long term goal of retiring early and ironically (if things happen as our financial planner projects) for us to actually live a more luxurious lifestyle in retirement too. We could afford a house cleaner, nicer cars etc but they don’t seem worth it to us. Everyone’s splurges should be personal to them. We have agreed that we would love to start spending more $ on experiences and buying a vacation home to create memories with our kids (but again being that finance minded people that we are also want to make $ off of it) and not just swing a second mortgage just because we can. Ideally we want to have that paid for or at least mostly paid for.
But to actually answer the question, I’d say not budgeting, buying most needs and wants and not thinking about the little splurges here and there. I still refuse to “waste” $ on things that aren’t worth it to me.
I get this, but there are no guarantees. My dad, my MIL and godfather all died without getting to enjoy retirement and everything they had planned. Obviously we still need to plan for the future, but also YOLO, lol, enjoy the present! Splurge now.
Yes! I totally get this and we have talked about this many times. We are both in finance and we have weird $ issues where it never seems like enough saved. We want to start splurging more but in thoughtful ways if that makes sense. We just have a lot of neighbors and people around us that are so showy and that’s not our thing so much. Also I guess this is actually a good answer to the OP… being in a position where you are actually trying to spend more and not less.
It is still hard for me to order anything other than water! Meanwhile my husband is ordering iced tea all willy nilly and buying two of everything at the supermarket while I know how much everything costs in a six mile radius.
THIS! My H orders the freaking SPECIAL. Look buddy that dinner is always, at least in our case, so over priced. Why?! It drives me crazy.
So I guess him ordering the special and me not thinking I'm never going out with this joker again would be an example of a rich life. I know I sound ridiculous.
LOL I get this!
Whenever I am at a place with a prix fixe menu or some sort of a tasting menu, my thought is to maximize it by choosing pricier items like seafood and the fanciest dessert and am always taken aback by someone I’m with choosing the cheapest items like roast chicken and a scoop of ice cream. Why are you spending $35 for chicken when you could get the crab??
Post by lilypad1126 on Nov 1, 2021 18:21:28 GMT -5
Growing up, things that felt rich to me: Being able to afford to grocery shop without a list. Having a 2nd fridge Being able to stay at a hotel when we traveled instead of a campground Getting a bonus at your job Being able to have a professional paint your nails.
Now I can do all those things and still don’t feel rich, just super fortunate. I guess the thing that would make me feel rich at this point would be to further upgrade our vacations. First class airfare and swankier hotels.
This just reminds me that appearances are often a facade. We could afford to do a lot of things but we choose not to because the long term goal of retiring early and ironically (if things happen as our financial planner projects) for us to actually live a more luxurious lifestyle in retirement too. We could afford a house cleaner, nicer cars etc but they don’t seem worth it to us. Everyone’s splurges should be personal to them. We have agreed that we would love to start spending more $ on experiences and buying a vacation home to create memories with our kids (but again being that finance minded people that we are also want to make $ off of it) and not just swing a second mortgage just because we can. Ideally we want to have that paid for or at least mostly paid for.
But to actually answer the question, I’d say not budgeting, buying most needs and wants and not thinking about the little splurges here and there. I still refuse to “waste” $ on things that aren’t worth it to me.
I get this, but there are no guarantees. My dad, my MIL and godfather all died without getting to enjoy retirement and everything they had planned. Obviously we still need to plan for the future, but also YOLO, lol, enjoy the present! Splurge now.
Totally agree with this.
My mom died ~5 years away from retirement, and while that's been beneficial to me financially, I would have wanted her to enjoy her hard earned savings more. It definitely influences how I'm living my life!
I’ll say this, too…The pandemic and my switch to permanent remote employment changed what I am willing to/want to spend money on. Pre-pandemic I drove a luxury SUV. Well, I hardly go anywhere anymore, and it wasn’t worth it to me to keep spending that much on a monthly car payment, so I traded it in for a non “luxury” SUV and saved about $100/mo on a car payment. I love my new car and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to a “luxury” model.
I also no longer feel the need to have a huge wardrobe because I wear leggings and a sweatshirt every day, so I’m trying to offload stuff by selling it on Poshmark and I’m loving seeing that extra “bonus” cash in the bank.
My home has become where I want to spend my money because being home is more common these days. I also will chalk it up to getting older…My concern over what people think of me is rapidly declining, so I don’t care anywhere near as much as I used to about whether someone is judging my outfit or car or travel or whatever else. I’ll just be over here doing my thing.
Sigh. This question is very difficult for me to answer. For all intents and purposes, we have a “rich life”. Financially we are without any debt, we have a high income, and we could really do a lot of the material things many others strive for. Here’s the problem. And I hope this doesn’t sound like a humble brag bc it’s an actually real issue in our marriage. My husband is almost masochistic in denying things bc he’s so damn worried about being secure. I’m like this too, most likely bc he’s rubbed off on me. It’s not bc he’s cheap. He’s not at all. He eagerly spends money on education, house upkeep, renovations, having hood and plentiful food etc. But he never really enjoys himself or treats himself. It makes me sad, and my anxiety gets riled up he’ll. (We’ll) die before he allows himself to relax. Neither of us grew up poor, but we’ve both been financially responsible for ourselves since our teens - him more so than me. I guess our rich life goals are getting to a place where we get to enjoy things with no guilt. But that guilt is a HUGE issue right now.
This just reminds me that appearances are often a facade. We could afford to do a lot of things but we choose not to because the long term goal of retiring early and ironically (if things happen as our financial planner projects) for us to actually live a more luxurious lifestyle in retirement too. We could afford a house cleaner, nicer cars etc but they don’t seem worth it to us. Everyone’s splurges should be personal to them. We have agreed that we would love to start spending more $ on experiences and buying a vacation home to create memories with our kids (but again being that finance minded people that we are also want to make $ off of it) and not just swing a second mortgage just because we can. Ideally we want to have that paid for or at least mostly paid for.
But to actually answer the question, I’d say not budgeting, buying most needs and wants and not thinking about the little splurges here and there. I still refuse to “waste” $ on things that aren’t worth it to me.
I get this, but there are no guarantees. My dad, my MIL and godfather all died without getting to enjoy retirement and everything they had planned. Obviously we still need to plan for the future, but also YOLO, lol, enjoy the present! Splurge now.
I was just thinking this too. My super healthy, very active mom got a random brain tumor at 61 and died the next year. She luckily got to live in her dream location and travel a bit after we were out of the house but no one could have predicted that. I want to have a nice older age too but who knows what is going to happen.
My eyes have rolled all the way out of my head with how hard some people are trying to demonstrate how un-materialistic they are lol
I feel like those posts are coming from people already wearing Rothy’s, if you know what I mean. Lol.
Growing up a “rich life” meant buying clothes not from Penney’s where my nana worked, not needing a coupon, etc. I remember when my grandfather bought a newer car that had a CD player in it and I was like OMG it’s so classy!
Now it’s being able to cover house emergencies when they come up (like when our basement flooded or our fridge died) and not stressing too much about it.
My eyes have rolled all the way out of my head with how hard some people are trying to demonstrate how un-materialistic they are lol
I feel like those posts are coming from people already wearing Rothy’s, if you know what I mean. Lol.
Growing up a “rich life” meant buying clothes not from Penney’s where my nana worked, not needing a coupon, etc. I remember when my grandfather bought a newer car that had a CD player in it and I was like OMG it’s so classy!
Now it’s being able to cover house emergencies when they come up (like when our basement flooded or our fridge died) and not stressing too much about it.
I def am not saying I’m not materialistic! If I had my way I’d DEF spend more. Growing up, I had no concept of “rich”. And the reason for that is I was 100% ensconced in my solidly middle-class white Catholic upbringing in a blue collar area. Now? I see RIDICULOUS spending. I have no idea what people make and what they save but I have never seen such keeping up with the Joneses behavior as I have in the last 8 years or so. And here’s my big issue with it. I see a lot of generational wealth. It is very easy to have a YOLO lifestyle if you have a backstop. And also, for every saver that dies without enjoying their bounties, there’s a 98 year old who burdens their children and grandchildren with insurmountable finances because of continuing care. I’m am so fucked up in the head over worrying about it. I don’t even know what I want.
Not having to work anymore - my "job" would be going on platforms like GoFundMe and randomly giving people money
Fly first class at a minimum, charter otherwise
Getting a new car every couple of years - not because I want a new car, I just want to drive all different/cool cars
Vacation homes in at least 2 locations - one domestic, one international
Personal Shopper/prices don't matter (I don't want something like stitch fix, that means I actually have to go to a website and return things if I didn't want them - to much work for my dream world!)
Not having to flip the shampoo/conditioner bottle upside down and work really hard scraping the lip and hitting the sides to eek 4 more uses out of it.
I still do that, but only because its like a game now.
To be serious, my answer would be almost identical to goldengirlz.
Post by goldengirlz on Nov 1, 2021 19:04:24 GMT -5
The whole idea of “wasting” money is pretty subjective too. No one likes to “waste” money.
But here’s an example. We were on vacation and DD decided that she wanted pineapple juice. It cost $11, which seemed insane, but finally I was like whatever, we’re on vacation, what’s another $11 on top of a $200+ meal?
So we let her order it and it comes in a GIANT pineapple that was twice the size of her head. We’re still laughing about it years later. We also have some cute photos. I’m not sure I can really say I regret my choices there. 😀
I find all of this interesting. I'd call my family solidly middle class. Mom stayed home til my brother was in middle school. Dad had a good job. Money flowed freerer after mom started working.
Growing up rich people:
--shopped at Benetton (spell) and the boutique shops at the mall instead of Sears and JC Penny. By the time I was in HS, my mom would give me a small budget to get clothes from there before each school year. One year it was jeans, another a sweater, and another a Guess sweatshirt. I still remember loving not having Sears jeans. --had a house cleaner. --hired a professional to fix things. --went to charity balls -ate out at fancy restaurants like Applebees, Longhorns, and Stax Peppermill (steakhouse in my hometown) -had more than 2 cars
I never realized we were as well off as we were from high school to college til I had a car in high school including insurance/gas paid for (as an aside my mother hated driving us places, so this was freedom for her, too), my undergrad paid for on the parental plan (in-state school was also cheaper then + small scholarships), and going to Catholic middle school.
To me living a rich life includes: --being able to ride horses (working on doing this again) --riding and racing bikes --buying what I want and not thinking too much of it (think more bike parts, non-designer clothes, stuff for the house)
--owning a house
--outsourcing weekly yard care
--hiring someone to fix all the things around the house
I pursue my hobbies in lieu of travel although I do travel to a big event once/year in a normal year and take a small non-main hobby vacation when I can. I hope to put travel higher in the priority list in a few years after COVID.
Money was extremely tight growing up and I think my answers are still influenced by that even though I’m relatively comfortable now. I’ve found it’s harder to get past the scarcity mindset with the little things, even though the items below are affordable now.
- As a child/teen having a two story house would have fallen under the definition of rich. - Giving or receiving a birthday/Christmas gift over $50 took a while to get past feeling like it was a gratuitous amount of money for one gift. - A robot vacuum. It would probably be pointless to buy one now due my carpeted floors, but SOMEDAY! 🤣