For my family, "a rich life" never connected much to money. My parents grew up solidly middle class, children of middle managers who had a college education. They kind of did their version of 60's rebellion by leaving the suburbs and moving to a big, run-down Victorian in small-town Maine. Their house only cost them $30K, which might have been a lot in 1969, but quickly became very cheap, as inflation was pretty high in the 70s. They had no student loans and only bought cars with cash. They were aggressive savers. So even though my mom didn't work for a long time, and my dad was out of work the entire year I was five, money was never a cause of insecurity in our house. It was never really talked about at all, except "this is how we budget."
There were no actual rich people in our town. My dad became an insurance salesman, and that brought us in contact with wealth when we went to conventions at the Biltmore in Arizona, or the Greenbrier in West Virginia - Southern wealth was wild to me as a kid. But it always felt sort unreal, like TV. In college, I realized, woah, I had done so little compared to a lot of my classmates, but by then I also could see they were trying really hard to seem a certain way, and it was a way I was never going to be, or would want to be.
I guess richness of time is something I've always had: going to the free beach with my mom, shooting hoops with my dad, UNO or parcheesi at night. Dumb family sing-alongs (now we do Youtube karaoke). IDK, I still believe what I've known since I was really small - if you've got your people around you, a roof over your head, and are not starving, life is basically rich, and everything else is just an add-on that can be fun, but not necessary.
I have so many of the things I dreamed of as a kid. I own a home, I’m a SAHM by choice, I buy whatever food we want/need, we can afford all of our needs and a lot of our wants.
My one silly “I made it moment” was buying holiday bedding my my family. I don’t know why decorating my house like I’m the next Martha Stewart was such a moment for me but it was lol.
Things still on my list: - buy whatever book I want instead of waiting for it from the library - send my 3 kids to whatever college they want - one nice family vacation a year (we could afford this one but H is frugal) - convince my H to invest in his hobbies without thinking he’s going to bankrupt us. He doesn’t enjoy his money at all and I’m afraid he will keep putting it off.
Post by letsgetweird on Nov 2, 2021 12:56:06 GMT -5
I'm annoyed with the people that can't just answer the question lol.
As a child... -having a 2 story house -buying a brand new car -going on vacation every year -fridge with ice maker
I'm single and I don't have kids. I get to spend my money all on me. I've went on 6 trips this year and going to Colorado next weekend to visit a friend. I still try to be frugal. I can't imagine spending money on a designer bag....that just seems like a waste to me. I guess I'm rich or rich lite. I grew up poor so never really imagined I'd be in this position
Post by irishbride2 on Nov 2, 2021 13:13:22 GMT -5
When we started out, my main goal was to be able to grocery shop without coupons and without meal planning around BOGOS.
Honestly, I'm feeling very fortunate right now. I can do many of the things listed. I think the biggest would to be able to do a 5-star international trip every year without thinking about the cost.
I have to add one. It's something my parents have given me shit for at least 30 years. When asked what I wanted to be when I grow up my answer was rich enough to have a maid.
I don't think they anticipated my moving to se Asia where it is very affordable (and not exploitative)
This is me, too. We live in Asia so we have all kinds of household help, no big deal. But we joke that our kids can only have watermelon on their birthdays because they are $28 in season and $40 out of season. (And that’s for the tiny round ones, not the supersized oblong ones.) Strawberries are $12 per quart, in season. I know I’m rich because other than the watermelon jokes, I don’t even look at the prices of fruit and veggies, I just know I have to pay it so I do.
Also, not related to living in Asia—I had an “I’m rich” goal when I was in college. I decided when I could buy the really nice kitchenaid stand mixer, it would mean I felt secure enough in my income, saving, etc. that I could spend frivolously. It was very symbolic and meant a lot to me. I was pissed when my MIL bought one for me for Christmas one year because she wasn’t really doing it to be nice, she bought it to point out my “homemaking” was lacking, in her estimation. (Trust me on this, you would have to know her). I kept it in the box and refused to use it. A couple years later, I did buy myself the biggest, best Kitchenaid. That was back in the days when we were on The Nest. There was a regular poster who was going through a divorce and had some unexpected house repair expenses. It was Christmas time and she was talking about wanting to cheer her son up by baking lots of Christmas cookies. I got her address from her and mailed my “extra” still in the box Kitchenaid mixer to her. That was a really happy moment when I was able to do that.
We have achieved the three things I always thought were rich as a kid: -Go (on an airplane) to Disney World (my parents owned a cottage, which of course I now realize is probably MORE of a sign of wealth than going to Disney World, but I was so jealous of kids who got to go on airplanes since every trip we took was to the cottage. Now my ILs live right by it so my lucky kids have been there a lot when we visit them.) -Buy full-size candy bars for Halloween (we get like 20 ToTers so we can do this for $15 with Costco bars) -Have a pool in the backyard. (We could never spend the money to install one, but it was here when we bought the house and ironically made it less popular since few people want a pool in the Midwest! )
To me, rich now would mean if I lost a job, I could be calm, knowing I could take six months to find something new without panicking about our financial situation. Hopefully we’ll get there one day!
Post by underwaterrhymes on Nov 2, 2021 14:14:19 GMT -5
There are a lot of modestly well off things we will be able to do when our debt is gone, so I’m going with extravagantly rich things here:
- Renovate our entire house - Buy a second home in San Francisco, CA with a pool or a condo in NYC… or both! - Donate a bunch to my favorite charities and various GFMs - Take some dream trips (fancy safari in Tanzania, climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, see the northern lights on a luxury trip to Iceland, Disney cruise in the nicest suite possible, first class trip to Bali, etc.) - Pay for the entirety my kids’ education (as well as a gap year before they go to school) - Hire a personal trainer and chef - Hire someone to teach the entire family Spanish - Pay for college for other kids who need it
Post by schrodinger on Nov 2, 2021 14:19:53 GMT -5
I've been a swimmer my whole life and have always wanted an endless pool to swim "laps" in.
I always see a lot of these types of discussion on House Hunters. People will comment "I really need _____ because I knew I would make it when I had a _____". I always think it's so sweet when they get a house with what they want and they end up in tears because they are so happy to have that "I've made it" feeling.
Post by mysteriouswife on Nov 2, 2021 15:23:40 GMT -5
I thought of another one!
Being able to afford H’s medication without trying to stretch it a week or two is when we knew we were okay. I will never forget knocking a brand new bottle of insulin out of the fridge. My heart sank and I immediately puked. I knew we would never be able to replace it and our insurance would not cover it. He was already at his max allowed amount on insurance. We had to borrow money from his grandma to cover it. With my current job we can afford dropping it. It would suck, but it’s not the detrimental effect it was 10 years ago.
For my family, "a rich life" never connected much to money. My parents grew up solidly middle class, children of middle managers who had a college education. They kind of did their version of 60's rebellion by leaving the suburbs and moving to a big, run-down Victorian in small-town Maine. Their house only cost them $30K, which might have been a lot in 1969, but quickly became very cheap, as inflation was pretty high in the 70s. They had no student loans and only bought cars with cash. They were aggressive savers. So even though my mom didn't work for a long time, and my dad was out of work the entire year I was five, money was never a cause of insecurity in our house. It was never really talked about at all, except "this is how we budget."
There were no actual rich people in our town. My dad became an insurance salesman, and that brought us in contact with wealth when we went to conventions at the Biltmore in Arizona, or the Greenbrier in West Virginia - Southern wealth was wild to me as a kid. But it always felt sort unreal, like TV. In college, I realized, woah, I had done so little compared to a lot of my classmates, but by then I also could see they were trying really hard to seem a certain way, and it was a way I was never going to be, or would want to be.
I guess richness of time is something I've always had: going to the free beach with my mom, shooting hoops with my dad, UNO or parcheesi at night. Dumb family sing-alongs (now we do Youtube karaoke). IDK, I still believe what I've known since I was really small - if you've got your people around you, a roof over your head, and are not starving, life is basically rich, and everything else is just an add-on that can be fun, but not necessary.
This is beautifully, I truly mean that, but it’s not the point of this thread. This is where we discuss our shallow wants!!!
I truly understand that they phrase as we know it would be all about what she wrote BUT COME ON! The OP clearly explained how the author was using this phrase. You guys are being fun suckers. Just tell us about how you want a pony, diamond riding boots, and to have someone feed you caviar.
I haven’t read the whole thread but I’ll consider myself “rich” when I can walk into Costco and buy whatever the hell catches my eye without thinking about the price. The lady in front of me today spent $700 without blinking.
I thought of another one - I used to go on vacation and be excited to stay in a nicer house than my house, or rent a car that was nicer than my car. When I realized that it was getting harder to replicate the comfort I have in my house/car, that felt like I was "rich."
I have never lived in a house. Townhouse, condo, apartment but never a house. That seems like a rich person thing. But it we have money so I can’t complain.
I am catching up on this thread and this really resonated with me. I am about to turn 40 and am moving into my first ever single family house (well hopefully) later this year. I've never known anything different but I am starting to realize what a milestone it will be. For what it's worth, I didn't grow up or live in an city/urban area.
Being able to afford H’s medication without trying to stretch it a week or two is when we knew we were okay. I will never forget knocking a brand new bottle of insulin out of the fridge. My heart sank and I immediately puked. I knew we would never be able to replace it and our insurance would not cover it. He was already at his max allowed amount on insurance. We had to borrow money from his grandma to cover it. With my current job we can afford dropping it. It would suck, but it’s not the detrimental effect it was 10 years ago.
This makes me angry and sad. Only in the US is this even a question.
Growing up for me, this is what I always envisioned as a ~rich lifestyle~
- having a house in the city - being able to travel often - kids in private school while putting away money for their college - me being a SAHM/w (preferably SAHW with the kids in school LOL) by choice - not worrying about the cost of things, being able to buy whatever we wanted
I guess we have achieved everything above? Minus the fact that I’m staying at home with DD (1.5) while DS (3.5) is at school. And also the travelling because COVID.
One thing that really made me realize how “rich” (fortunate) we are is with the moving debacle last year. When we moved to the suburbs, and I absolutely hated it and started spiralling (I now realize I probably was dealing with some undiagnosed PPD) and being able to sell and buy again within months and it not effecting us financially.
I grew up middle (upper) class? And grew up in a large house in an expensive suburb, never had to worry about money, travelled a lot, had nice cars, parents paid for my university, wedding, helped with down payment for first home etc but it definitely came with strings attached. My H on the other hand grew up very poor, only wore second hand clothing, worrying about the next meal, never travelled (didn’t leave the country till we started dating) . We actually had a conversation recently when he mentioned he’s felt like he’s “made it” with DS going to private school, me being at home and still not having to cut any of our luxuries out. He sent DS to school with $50 the book fair and I had ordered $1k worth of clothes for the kids. Growing up he never bought anything from the book fair and that he was envious of the kids and their new Walmart clothes and now here we are ordering single dresses for our 1 year old for $60.
My current wants are a bigger house or being able to move up our third floor extension (which we are currently saving for so we can do debt free), a property overseas (husband dreams of a second house in Scotland).
Post by imojoebunny on Nov 2, 2021 20:40:22 GMT -5
When I was young, it was having my own house, and being able to afford to live alone. I hated having roommates. I bought my first house at 26, a dumpster, that I renovated.
Now, it is having decent schools for our kids, a house that doesn't have mold, and I need to renovate (we have done that lots of times), it is being retired early, to have the time and health to do the things we enjoy, being able to travel with our kids, and spend time with our friends. We have all those things now. DH retired this year, we will travel 10+ weeks with the kids this year, and have plans to travel for 7 weeks next year already booked. We spend very little on clothing, cars, furniture, or other material things, but a lot on friends and experiences. My brewery t-shirt and old navy jeans game is strong. That makes me feel rich because I don't have to worry about what anyone thinks about what I wear, have, or do/don't do.
Growing up, I always wanted to fly first class… to me, that meant “being rich”.
Fortunately, I had a job in my late 20s that allowed me to travel internationally in business class a few times. And I was in heaven.
Once we got married, my H and I would fly from India to the US and Europe regularly to visit family and for H’s work. We bought premium economy tickets for the first 4 years, but after I got pregnant, we started buying business class seats so we’d have more space and comfort while traveling 18+ hours with our kid. It’s been 11+ years now and we haven’t gone back to premium economy seats. Our kids are definitely spoiled when we travel.
Once we got married, my H and I would fly from India to the US and Europe regularly to visit family and for H’s work. We bought premium economy tickets for the first 4 years, but after I got pregnant, we started buying business class seats so we’d have more space and comfort while traveling 18+ hours with our kid. It’s been 11+ years now and we haven’t gone back to premium economy seats. Our kids are definitely spoiled when we travel.
Thank you for acknowledging the difference between business and first!
On international flights it's the difference between 3x the cost of economy vs. 10x plus. Lounge access and a huge seat vs. a chauffeured limo picking you up and delivering you right on the tarmac.
An aspirational rich life for me is business. An unrealistic rich life for me is first. Which is still more attainable than private jet.
Richie rich me wants: A music room in my home(s) To never have to work. I fucking hate working so much. A second home in my hometown on the beach. A third home in the mountains. Oh and my primary home to be exactly as I want it. Unlimited money for self care/fancy personal products. The ability to hire someone to teach me all my random whims (you wanna learn to sew? Hire Martha!) A huge chef’s kitchen with all the good knives and unlimited access to whatever fancy foods I want. A massive orchard/garden/outdoor space. Unlimited pets. Unlimited travel funds. A huge library with a ladder that glides around the room on rails. Oh and someone to read to me anytime I want it. Levar Burton on speed dial, if you will. So many fucking plush blankets and cozy corners. World peace and puppies for everyone.
When I was growing up, rich to me was owning horses, going on international vacations by plane. Also having a vacation home.
Now being rich means owning a lot of expensive toys that you only use a couple times per year like boats, snowmobiles, fun cars... Buying an expensive new-build and also buying the lot next to you because you don't want close neighbors. Building and running a swimming pool that you only use a few times per year.
When I was in high school, I would have said having a maid and being able to shop at Nordstrom. So high school me thinks I've made it.
When I was a single mom 11 years ago, I would have said owning a house where I didn't have to share a bathroom with my son. DH and I have owned our house for a while now, but we just moved into a new house where every bedroom has its own bathroom. So single mom me thinks I've made it.
Now, I think rich will be being able to pay out of state tuition at my teen's first choice school. He has several good in-state schools on his list as well, but I know his top choice is the one out of state. And being able to retire at 55. We are on track to retire at 60 as of now, so not too far off.
I grew up in middle class, but I had a few years in straight out poverty as a child, and as a young adult being frugal.
We are rich now by comparison, but I probably will never feel rich or like I made it because of the poverty I always feel we should be saving more money, and it is never enough.
But because of always having to think over every single purchase for example when I was in college, to be able to make a purchase and not think about the budget is very freeing. And that ultimately is where I am and where I want to be.
Of course, DH never seems to think about the budget and is always spending, but he is also the high earner, so we live in an uneasy truce. However, we have made progress towards our financial goals. It is just not as much as I would like because he still has student loans and we are adding on a bathroom. But not enjoying life because we are overly frugal isn't a great option either. So we live in the middle and are trying to make it work.
We never understand how other people are so rich though because they don't make a lot of money and someone stays home, but then we assume they must have a ton of family money. These are taking 3 trips to Europe and 2 big trips in the US every year.
Post by amberlyrose on Nov 3, 2021 15:43:55 GMT -5
I grew up on the very low end of middle class. We had a house and both parents had cars, but we shopped at factory outlets and did a lot of DIY for things we wanted.
My list from childhood: -Own a house with a 2nd floor -Fancy car, especially a convertible -Not having to carry a calculator around to shop for groceries -Shopping from mall stores -Travel to Europe -Fancy boots (I grew up in the desert, so my only closed-toe shoes were athletic) -The good TP/Kleenex/Laundry detergent/shampoo -Having a vacation home/cottage/cabin
Teen me would be amazed at where I'm at now. I really don't think I could've fathomed it, truthfully. My adult "I made it" moment was when I was shopping in London by myself and bought a Burberry quilted coat on sale without planning for it. DH was in class and I had a random freak out moment right before telling him. He laughed and said that I deserved it and we were fine. I love that coat so much, mostly because of what it symbolized for me.
Now, my list would be: -Fly business/first class internationally. Don't care if it's on points, as long as I'm not using every single one I've saved. -Pay for the fancy hotel room outright instead of hoping for an upgrade. -Major house upgrades without taking on debt -Take on paid work when I want (contract/project based) and do volunteer work in between. -Weekly housekeeping, to include laundry -Someone to design/furnish my house. We're frugal and even if we could afford it, I can't see myself buying nice furniture that already comes assembled
I feel pretty rich now. We have a lot. But to feel really rich I'd like to only work of we feel like it and still be able to afford our current lifestyle plus fun extras. I'd love to not worry about if I really need something and how much I will really use it, or to stop feeling like I need to stalk items for a while to see if they go on sale. I don't need to do this now as much in the past, but the urge is still there so I do it. It would be nice to have enough that it was just no question of it not mattering if I don't get the absolute best deal.
I have also always really wanted to stay in one of those over water bungalows on a south Pacific island.