Agree for *most* sugar cookies. Like, I've never ever had a sugar cookie other than my grandmother's that I liked. Professional, home baker, no. They all suck. They're somehow too dry and cakey, and just kind of explode in your mouth into bland tasteless powder. Sure they can be decorated beautifully, but all those thick sugar cookies are the actual worst.
However, my grandmother's recipe is rolled super thin (like, you can nearly see the rolling surface through it), and has none of the gross powder texture. Loads of butter and vanilla, decorated with her buttercream frosting. It's the only sugar cookie I'll eat.
My UO: I kind of miss the simplicity and pace of life during online schooling during Covid lockdown. *Ducks.* I fully admit I was extremely fortunate that my kids (for the most part) did pretty well, socially and academically, and I SAH so didn't have to juggle a job during online school. But I'm back to being a taxi for my kids and their activities, and.I.Hate.It. We even carpool, and they legit didn't sign up for too much/they love what they have chosen to do. I just really dislike being back in the insane schedule situation again.
Until people who say Die Hard is a Christmas movie start caping for Gremlins and Batman Returns as Christmas movies, I'll just be thinking they're trying to be hip, but are not.
I'm sorry to those who are painfully un-hip. Good luck to you.
Gremlins is totally a Christmas movie! It has the absolute saddest santa story too. Not sure I’ve seen batman returns.
Post by DotAndBuzz on Nov 30, 2021 11:29:45 GMT -5
RE the birth/motherhood talk: I love love LOVE my kids. But that surge of immense joy and satisfaction has never hit me. Not after birth, not a few months later, not now. I'm happy with our life, and wouldn't change a thing, but I thought for a long time I was a shit mom because I felt so "ok, sure, this works" about it, and wasn't "enjoying every moment" like I had read you're supposed to do. So now that my cousins are new moms/about to become a new mom, I'm going to make damn sure I chat with them. Not to take away their joy, but to let them know that if they *don't* feel like it's shining rainbows all the time, and overwhelmed with joy and happiness, that's totally ok.
Agreed, but I’m going to keep doing it as long as my kids get excited about it, lol. I probably have another year or two before my oldest decides she’s too cool for it.
I try to spare DH his dignity and avoid the sets where the adult pajamas are body-hugging too.
I'm starting this off with something that will really piss off someone. It was brought on by a NY Times article I want to kick in the teeth.
Can we stop with the idea that the day a kid(s) was/were born is/are the "best" or "most joyful" day(s) of a woman's life? I'm sure there are some women who have an extreme postpartum rush of hormones and feel true, extreme joy. But that isn't everyone. Some get that rush, but it doesn't cancel everything else out. And others just don't get that intense positive hormone surge at all. And that doesn't mean they will love their kids any less or be worse parents.
Most intense? Most emotional? Even most important? Most life changing? Sure. I'd be fine with those as the default description. That probably is true for many women. But there is way too much that can go wrong or is intense/emotional/life changing in ways that are a hell of a lot more complicated that just Joy. And for plenty of people it takes time for those positive emotions to come fully forward in the daze and extremity of those first days.
rant over.
Agreed. I cried almost every single waking hour for 2 weeks after my son was born. Definitely not the most joyful days of my life.
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Nov 30, 2021 11:42:08 GMT -5
I not so secretly wish my kids school would be turned over to virtual. I’m noticing an uptick in obsessive compulsive thoughts and I wish I could keep them home to limit exposure. Especially for the baby.
Related— I really hate when people say “oh I’m so OCD”. One- it makes no sense. And b it totally fucking sucks
I see someone has agreed with you, but I think this is the most divisive opinion so far. And I'm not even crazy about Elf.
In a similar vein, I love Love Actually, and the fact that all the relationships are messed up doesn't make me stop enjoying it.
I know that's boring, but I can't think of anything else.
Same. I have similar feelings about Love, Actually that I do about Baby, It's Cold Outside lol. Some of the critiques just don't make sense to me. Like saying they're fat shaming Natalie. Yes, some people do, but I think we as the viewers are supposed to recognize that it's bullshit and those people suck.
Apparently I just agree with all your Christmas opinions.
I completely agree. I do t really remember feeling joy. I do remember feeling the most exquisite sense of sheer relief that the ordeal was over and the baby was out, lol.
on the subject of motherhood. I follow a couple people on social media who used to complain constantly about the things older parents would say to them while pregnant, claiming they were sick of these scare tactics and that it can’t be that bad. Usually things in the vein of “just wait” which, admittedly, can be annoying and grating to hear. I’d think yo myself “yeah I can see how it is frustrating to hear that your life will never be the same again but on the other hand, they’re not exactly wrong about what they’re saying.” Now that their babies are here, it’s been amusing for me to see them slowly realizing thst the people who had all btdt were pretty much all right about it, lol. One of them has a podcast and she was talking about her birth and immediate post partum experience and kept saying “not to scare people but…” Gave me a chuckle.
so I guess my UO is that maybe people should try to be more a little more humble and aware about realizing you probably don’t know things about an experience you haven’t been through yet. Especially one as transformative and complex as parenthood.
I think my problem with it is that the older generation seems to take pleasure in telling you all the shitty parts you haven't experienced yet as a way of "at leasting" you or stealing joy from a brief moment of happiness. And no sentence ever starts, just wait until they *insert something positive here*. It's just always negativity.
I still remember the first time I posted my son babbling "mom" over and over. I was the happiest I had been in a long time and thought it was so cool. Except my DMs were like "just wait until they won't stop saying your name when you want them too." Which is absolutely true, but in that moment, those comments are just about ruining the experience of joy.
People always said shit like this when both my kids started walking. “Just wait until they’re tearing stuff apart because they can reach it now.” “Just wait until you can’t even sit down for 5 minutes because they’re always getting into something.”
My kids learning to walk was one of my most favorite things ever and I am always sure to lift people up in those moments of joy because I really never ended up bothered by the fact that they could walk and get into things. It was always joyful for me.
It’s an annoying habit for some people. Just shut up and share in the happy moments. No, my kid isn’t unique, but it’s still really cool!
I do not understand the allure of Nashville (the city).
I have similar feelings about Vegas. I went for the first time this summer. It was meh. I have no desire to go back.
Went to Vegas way too many years ago to mention - but lordy! I don't get the hype at all and will gladly NEVER go back. I've been to Nashville once. I think the ONLY reason I'd contemplate going back is that when we went - it was the weekend after NYE and it was basically empty. There were 8 of us, and we were able to do our thing and have fun and see some good music but not be SURROUNDED by people constantly. I think if I went to Nashville in warmer weather, I'd run screaming in the other direction. Too many people, too young for me, too loud, too drunk!
RE the birth/motherhood talk: I love love LOVE my kids. But that surge of immense joy and satisfaction has never hit me. Not after birth, not a few months later, not now. I'm happy with our life, and wouldn't change a thing, but I thought for a long time I was a shit mom because I felt so "ok, sure, this works" about it, and wasn't "enjoying every moment" like I had read you're supposed to do. So now that my cousins are new moms/about to become a new mom, I'm going to make damn sure I chat with them. Not to take away their joy, but to let them know that if they *don't* feel like it's shining rainbows all the time, and overwhelmed with joy and happiness, that's totally ok.
::waves:: I typed and deleted this sentiment earlier. But, I had people asking me how the rush of joy and love felt when my daughter was born. Well, Carol, I do not feel that. So, in addition to being somewhat traumatized by labor, exhausted, bleeding, and crying, I was also left wondering if I was part robot.
I did not fall in love with my daughter for months. She was a stranger who I had to get to know. It happened by degrees. She is the greatest thing to have ever happened in my life and I love her now more than words can describe, but that was my experience and my feelings and people shouldn’t be putting those words on others or thinking anyone who isn’t feeling that is abnormal.
Women are left to the wolves in pregnancy and post-childbirth. I swear, I felt like I had somehow failed because I found labor intensely difficult. I was embarrassed for crying and yelling. I hated my husband seeing me that way. I felt like he thought lesser of me because I wasn’t tough or some such bullshit. He didn’t put ANY of that on me; I let society put it on me. And, fuck, enough. Childbirth is work and hard. Caring for a newborn is work and hard. You get an appendix out and you’re told to rest for a week but have a baby in any manner and they roll that helpless human into your room and say “good luck!” It’s honestly despicable.
Agree for *most* sugar cookies. Like, I've never ever had a sugar cookie other than my grandmother's that I liked. Professional, home baker, no. They all suck. They're somehow too dry and cakey, and just kind of explode in your mouth into bland tasteless powder. Sure they can be decorated beautifully, but all those thick sugar cookies are the actual worst.
However, my grandmother's recipe is rolled super thin (like, you can nearly see the rolling surface through it), and has none of the gross powder texture. Loads of butter and vanilla, decorated with her buttercream frosting. It's the only sugar cookie I'll eat.
My UO: I kind of miss the simplicity and pace of life during online schooling during Covid lockdown. *Ducks.* I fully admit I was extremely fortunate that my kids (for the most part) did pretty well, socially and academically, and I SAH so didn't have to juggle a job during online school. But I'm back to being a taxi for my kids and their activities, and.I.Hate.It. We even carpool, and they legit didn't sign up for too much/they love what they have chosen to do. I just really dislike being back in the insane schedule situation again.
I feel the same way. I keep telling DH that I could really use a shutdown December. My kids are back to 2019 levels of busy and it’s even worse with DS in high school. His schedule is a lot like a college class schedule and some days I drive back and forth 4 times! I miss the slower paced life.
I think my problem with it is that the older generation seems to take pleasure in telling you all the shitty parts you haven't experienced yet as a way of "at leasting" you or stealing joy from a brief moment of happiness. And no sentence ever starts, just wait until they *insert something positive here*. It's just always negativity.
I still remember the first time I posted my son babbling "mom" over and over. I was the happiest I had been in a long time and thought it was so cool. Except my DMs were like "just wait until they won't stop saying your name when you want them too." Which is absolutely true, but in that moment, those comments are just about ruining the experience of joy.
People always said shit like this when both my kids started walking. “Just wait until they’re tearing stuff apart because they can reach it now.” “Just wait until you can’t even sit down for 5 minutes because they’re always getting into something.”
My kids learning to walk was one of my most favorite things ever and I am always sure to lift people up in those moments of joy because I really never ended up bothered by the fact that they could walk and get into things. It was always joyful for me.
It’s an annoying habit for some people. Just shut up and share in the happy moments. No, my kid isn’t unique, but it’s still really cool!
"Just you wait" is probably my least favorite phrase I hear from people (re: parenting). I have people, not even older people, but peers, telling me about how fast my 3 year old is going to grow up and soon she's going to be a teenager, blah blah blah. Not that I wouldn't have already guessed that, but I also HAVE a teenager, so I'm painfully aware of how fast it goes.
There are benefits, but I don’t know whether they’re worth the cost.
I get this. I worked at home 3 days a week before the pandemic and always thought I wanted 5 but now that I have it? I don't know. Or maybe I just I would just like it if I had the option to go into work. Sometimes I just miss leaving the house lol. Also I have a new office that has a view of DC and the river that I haven't seen! lol
I don’t agree that Baby, It’s Cold Outside is rapey. I see it as being about the bullshit chaste appearance women were supposed to give off. You won’t change my mind, so don’t bother with the whole wolf/mouse whatever thing.
ETA: and it annoys me every year when someone writes a new essay about it thinking it’s an original take.
I won’t try to convince you that the song is about rape, but that whole “bullshit chaste appearance” is at the crux of rape culture/purity culture. By today’s standards, it’s a distinction without a difference.
Your comment made me think of the Aziz Ansari scandal. Girl goes to his apartment, makes out with him, makes weak protests about taking it slow (but doesn’t actually leave). You can be Team Aziz Acted Like Any Guy Raised in the ‘90s, but also think it’s sad that we have such a double standard for women that both men and women have been taught that “no” doesn’t always mean “no” but sometimes “yes, but I don’t want you to think I’m a hussy.”
But my UO is that, as an impartial observer, the only legitimately good Christmas song is Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.”
Post by thebreakfastclub on Nov 30, 2021 12:28:15 GMT -5
I have to skim over a lot of covid posts because some of the anxiety is draining to me after almost 2 years. I also don't really feel bad for my kid growing up right now. He's continued to live his best life. I also remember very little about his birth.
Random UO, I dislike when people randomly throw in sex with their partner in an unrelated/random thread. IE, "today I deep cleaned my oven, then I had sex with H, and tonight we're making soup." I'm forever good with not knowing, lol.
There are benefits, but I don’t know whether they’re worth the cost.
I get this. I worked at home 3 days a week before the pandemic and always thought I wanted 5 but now that I have it? I don't know. Or maybe I just I would just like it if I had the option to go into work. Sometimes I just miss leaving the house lol. Also I have a new office that has a view of DC and the river that I haven't seen! lol
I feel like it only amplifies the parental juggling. We’re more inclined to say yes to things that would have been a hard no when working outside the home. I like clear boundaries between work and home. I’m still fairly resentful of work being in our home.
A major factor is that H also works from home now. I don’t think it has had a positive impact on our marriage. A little mystery and independence a good thing. We’re all in each other’s business now and I hate it.