UO: Dogshit Edition🚗💩🚗🐕🏡

[sonrisa]

I'm starting this off with something that will really piss off someone. It was brought on by a NY Times article I want to kick in the teeth.

Can we stop with the idea that the day a kid(s) was/were born is/are the "best" or "most joyful" day(s) of a woman's life? I'm sure there are some women who have an extreme postpartum rush of hormones and feel true, extreme joy. But that isn't everyone. Some get that rush, but it doesn't cancel everything else out. And others just don't get that intense positive hormone surge at all. And that doesn't mean they will love their kids any less or be worse parents.

Most intense? Most emotional? Even most important? Most life changing? Sure. I'd be fine with those as the default description. That probably is true for many women. But there is way too much that can go wrong or is intense/emotional/life changing in ways that are a hell of a lot more complicated that just Joy. And for plenty of people it takes time for those positive emotions to come fully forward in the daze and extremity of those first days.

rant over. 

[lilac05]

That’s not unpopular with me, sonrisa! There’s nothing like starting out motherhood already feeling like you suck as a mom because you don’t have the “right” emotions. Too many women feel broken already in the first hour of motherhood.

I don’t know what I would have been like as a new mom without this place. There was a really long thread of all of the things new moms should know, but no one would tell them IRL. I think it might have even been before I got pregnant, but I referenced it several times. It felt good to know that I wasn’t the only one who felt a certain way or didn’t know how to do something I was supposed to know how to do.

My unpopular opinion, social media can be an incredible benefit to people and society in general, if harnessed appropriately. A carefully curated FB/Instagram feed can feed your soul, encourage your heart, inspire you to make the world a better place, and literally save lives. (It can also destroy lives and can be the source of so much destruction and devastation...that *if* is an incredibly important part of this.)

[HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan]

The NYT is fucking garbage.

[somersault72]

I definitely consider the days my kids were born two of the best days of my life, but I don't ever use the word "joy/joyful" when describing those days. Of course I also don't say you forget the pain (it's been 13 years and I haven't, LOL) nor am I a person who understands when a mother tells me they didn't "get" to experience labor. If there would have been an option to skip labor, I would have (well the second time I got to). I had a scheduled c section with DD and it was a breeze comparatively. Buut my son has a huge head, I had a forceps delivery, and my epidural wore off and no one believed me, so....

[al dente]

lilac05 I totally agree about the social media thing. Basically anything I'm interested in I find some groups on Facebook or experts on Instagram and I learn so much.

I'll have to think of an OP I know I have some.

[newnamesameperson]

UO...I get so annoyed when people act as if being liberal equates to not bring racist. Yes, I know you live in your liberal utopia but wtf do you honestly think that it's free of racism? I'll never forget the poster who informed me of this once...I agreed to disagree and that level of ignorance still bothers me years later (or more likely the fact I was too nice, well for me, in my response).

[Jalapeñomel]

Can we please stop saying first world/third world countries?

[expectantsteelerfan]

I have a very trivial one.

I don't like Adele's new song.

I'm a big fan of Adele in general, Easy on Me just doesn't do it for me.

[cattledogkisses]

Nov 29, 2021 23:51:08 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

My unpopular opinion, social media can be an incredible benefit to people and society in general, if harnessed appropriately. A carefully curated FB/Instagram feed can feed your soul, encourage your heart, inspire you to make the world a better place, and literally save lives. (It can also destroy lives and can be the source of so much destruction and devastation...that *if* is an incredibly important part of this.)

I agree with this.  I love following stuff on Instagram that I find educational, interesting, and beautiful.  Stuff that feeds my soul, as you put it. 

[ssmjlm]

I'm really over the "holier than thou" responses on relationship posts. Sometimes the OP just wants a hug. Or for people to say "I see your point." Instead of sticking their nose/relationship into things about how they are so much better. No one is perfect.

I really don't get those that are all "OMG WE DO EVERYTHING PERFECT WITH COVID" and then talk about how they took a trip on a plane to X. I would think those don't align. If you're doing everything, then you would not be getting on plane for personal travel. I know this became an "thing" on a CEP thread.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Nov 30, 2021 7:27:05 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I have a very trivial one.

I don't like Adele's new song.

I'm a big fan of Adele in general, Easy on Me just doesn't do it for me.

Adele has a beautiful voice but I HATE her songs.

[sproctopus]

sonrisa I have been in therapy for 9 years because both pregnancies and births were the most traumatic events I've ever experienced. What utter bullshit it is to propagate the message that pregnancy and birth are empowering, magical, strengthening experiences for most birth-givers. It really makes you feel like something is wrong with you that it doesn't make you feel like a unicorn.

Also, how is that BandAid "Do they know it's Christmas" still played on the radio? It's a heaping pile of racist, colonial, white savior garbage. Like Africa only knows the bitter sting of tears and all they have to be thankful for is being alive? I fucking HATE that song.

[mrspez07]

Re: social media
I started my Instagram acct just for beautiful things that I’m interested in and don’t follow very many friends, that’s what FB is for!

[lilafowler]

I’m not a fan of mid century modern. When I found out what it actually was I was all “Oh, 50s ugly “modern” looking stuff”.

I also get annoyed at the abbreviation of MCM because I start reading it as Roman numerals.

[Jalapeñomel]

I can’t talk about COVID anymore.

[sproctopus]

Nov 30, 2021 8:27:54 GMT -5 lilafowler said:

I also get annoyed at the abbreviation of MCM because I start reading it as Roman numerals.

Whoa, whoa, whoa--humblebrag! lol jk I wish I had a brain that would see letters and think math 😭😂

[sproctopus]

Nov 30, 2021 8:29:33 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I can’t talk about COVID anymore.

It's honestly like talking about breathing. At this point, we're all doing it, living it, whatever. Nothing to talk about.

[lilafowler]

Nov 30, 2021 8:29:50 GMT -5 sproctopus said:

Nov 30, 2021 8:27:54 GMT -5 lilafowler said:

I also get annoyed at the abbreviation of MCM because I start reading it as Roman numerals.

Whoa, whoa, whoa--humblebrag! lol jk I wish I had a brain that would see letters and think math 😭😂

It’s something I’ve done since I was a kid and had just learned about Roman numerals…it’s totally weird lol. 😂

[kaneen]

I don’t think the movie Elf is funny. It’s not even entertaining.

[Pilsy]

I didn't like 8-bit Christmas enough to watch more than 10 minutes of it.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I don’t like A Christmas Story. I think Bc I saw it first as an adult? Maybe? It’s so not funny to me

[sofamonkey]

Die hard is a Christmas movie.

Leggings are leggings. There are no “dressy” or “fancy” leggings. It’s still just leggings.

[wanderlustmom]

Nov 30, 2021 8:20:06 GMT -5 sproctopus said:

Also, how is that BandAid "Do they know it's Christmas" still played on the radio? It's a heaping pile of racist, colonial, white savior garbage. Like Africa only knows the bitter sting of tears and all they have to be thankful for is being alive? I fucking HATE that song.

I totally agree!  Can't stand that song. Also "Baby It's Cold Outside" is the other absolute worst.  She told you NO!!  Leave her the F alone. 

My other unpopular opinion is that Ted Lasso is terrible.  So melodramatic with no real conflict. It's like the writers got together after focus groups and put together a potpourri of what people want to see so it ends up being too much--like cotton candy. 

[iheartthe90s]

I completely agree. I do t really remember feeling joy. I do remember feeling the most exquisite sense of sheer relief that the ordeal was over and the baby was out, lol. 

on the subject of motherhood. I follow a couple people on social media who used to complain constantly about the things older parents would say to them while pregnant, claiming they were sick of these scare tactics and that it can’t be that bad. Usually things in the vein of “just wait” which, admittedly, can be annoying and grating to hear. I’d think yo myself “yeah I can see how it is frustrating to hear that your life will never be the same again but on the other hand, they’re not exactly wrong about what they’re saying.” Now that their babies are here, it’s been amusing for me to see them slowly realizing thst the people who had all btdt were pretty much all right about it, lol. One of them has a podcast and she was talking about her birth and immediate post partum experience and kept saying “not to scare people but…” Gave me a chuckle.

so I guess my UO is that maybe people should try to be more a little more humble and aware about realizing you probably don’t know things about an experience you haven’t been through yet. Especially one as transformative and complex as parenthood.

[TR]

Nov 30, 2021 8:46:10 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

I don’t like A Christmas Story. I think Bc I saw it first as an adult? Maybe? It’s so not funny to me

Ditto. I’m missing the nostalgia factor I think. 

[isabel]

Nov 30, 2021 7:27:05 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

I have a very trivial one.

I don't like Adele's new song.

I'm a big fan of Adele in general, Easy on Me just doesn't do it for me.

I keep waiting for it to grow on me, but it’s just not. The cadence is weird and I am not into it at all.

[TR]

I don’t agree that Baby, It’s Cold Outside is rapey. I see it as being about the bullshit chaste appearance women were supposed to give off. You won’t change my mind, so don’t bother with the whole wolf/mouse whatever thing.

ETA: and it annoys me every year when someone writes a new essay about it thinking it’s an original take. 

[isabel]

sproctopus, I don’t know that song, but Baby It’s Cold Outside came on yesterday and every time I hear it, the more rape-y it sounds. I can’t believe that song still gets airtime. It creeps me out.

My births sucked too. I’m sorry for what you went through.

[wanderlustmom]

Nov 30, 2021 8:54:12 GMT -5 TR said:

I don’t agree that Baby, It’s Cold Outside is rapey. I see it as being about the bullshit chaste appearance women were supposed to give off. You won’t change my mind, so don’t bother with the whole wolf/mouse whatever thing.

ETA: and it annoys me every year when someone writes a new essay about it thinking it’s an original take. 

nope wouldn't try to change anyone's mind.  thanks for that different perspective. 

[lilac05]

Nov 30, 2021 8:46:01 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

I didn't like 8-bit Christmas enough to watch more than 10 minutes of it.

I really enjoyed it, but it has a very specific target demographic. If you’re not in that, then I don’t think it has much to offer. I was at the age of the little sister and was dying for a very specific Cabbage Patch Doll, and my brother was obsessed with getting a Nintendo. We even had the rich kid in town who had it before everyone else. My H was the same, including the little sister. Watching it with my kids was fun and led to lots of fun reminiscing and sharing with them what our childhoods were like.