Post by definitelyO on Apr 25, 2023 9:39:17 GMT -5
When DH used to drive we did have "our" cars - but it was interchangeable and we'd each drive each others - but our preference was for our own vehicles - he had larger SUVs, Xterra, Bronco, 4Runners. I've had a sedan and smaller SUV - Acura RDX.
Now we still have a 4Runner and the Acura - DH doesn't drive so the 4Runner is my primary vehicle and the Acura is DS's - but if DS isn't using it - I'll often drive the car...
When I was first married, we never shared because we hated each other's cars. I can count on one hand the number of times we drove each other's cars during that time.
When we finally replaced exhs 20 year old car with an SUV I drove it a lot because of the 4WD, my old car couldn't drive up our street when it snowed. When I finally replaced my car with an SUV he never drove it, but I only owned it about 4 months before we started our divorce. I'm actually not sure he was ever a passenger in my current car.
Post by Wines Not Whines on Apr 25, 2023 9:48:40 GMT -5
Yes, but we rarely drive the other person’s car. My car is a little larger, so DH will sometimes drive mine if he needs more trunk space. I prefer my car, so I only drive his if I have to.
Our cars are mostly interchangeable, especially since we both WFH now. We used to drive our own cars when we commuted. But now for short trips we take my car because it is in the garage (one car garage sucks!). For longer trips we take his car because it is a hybrid.
Generally when we are together, he drives. Not sure why, just habit. I'm also the better navigator. He lost his license on vacation one time so I had to do all the driving and the role reversal was frustrating (it is funny now, but it wasn't at the time!).
Post by liverandonions on Apr 25, 2023 9:58:02 GMT -5
My husband has always had a stick shift, which I can't drive. I have an SUV so we take my car everywhere because of the kids/sports stuff etc. He can drive my car and will sometimes especially if we're doing a long drive. HOwever, I usually drive everywhere because I can't drink so he has a permanent DD always
We have a 5 spd manual 2017 Jetta that I prefer to drive if I have a choice, and a 2018 Atlas that is used for all dog transport, family trips, and AWD occasions. They get shuffled around pretty regularly. Strictly speaking they're both mine, lol. They're both titled and registered to me, because #paperwork
Just last week I was in the driveway and I looked at the Atlas and realized it had a Nov 2022 registration sticker on it. I KNOW I renewed the reg! It turns out I did, and when I gave it to H he stuffed it in the glove box. smdh. It's a damn lucky thing that in 5 months he never got stopped for an expired reg sticker, and I was the one who noticed. At least it wasn't ACTUALLY expired, he just didn't replace the sticker. Still ticketable, but not quite as bad.
He is an attorney. He has spent significant parts of his career working as a vehicular crimes prosecutor and as an ALJ for the DMV. I have to laugh, or I will cry.
Post by sugarbear1 on Apr 25, 2023 10:07:10 GMT -5
When I was married, I drove my car on all family outings. Ostensibly because I get car sick but also because exH's driving made me nervous (he's not a bad driver; he is a nervous driver).
I would have let him drive my car if I wasn't in it. LOL.
Yes, we have 2 cars and they're shared. My husband commutes by bus so he doesn't drive that much. I do a lot of the driving when we're together and if we both need to use a car at the same time he always tells me to take the new one, but we both drive both cars. It's kind of surprising because I'm usually territorial!
Post by regencygirl on Apr 25, 2023 10:18:47 GMT -5
We bought our cars with our commutes / needs in mind. DH has a 30-45 minute commute on highways each day, and works in an area with no lots and minimal street parking. We got him a small sedan as his primary car. I have a 20 minutes commute on a bad day, usually shorter and usually have access to free parking lots. We have 2 kids who play sports, and I coach, so we got a mini-van as my primary vehicle. We swap cars all the time, if he's going somewhere with the Scouts and he needs a larger car, he takes the van and I use the sedan. Most of the time when we're out as a family, we use the van just for cargo capacity. I think "my" car gets a bit more wear and tear because it's our primary family vehicle, but we factored that into the purchase of both cars and the replacement cycle. DH would never tell me not to use 'his' car, and I'd never tell him not to use the van.
We currently have one vehicle, which was technically bought for him but is in my name. But before this we each just used whatever car was convenient. So whatever car was last in the driveway was the one the person leaving first (usually me) would take unless there was a reason to use a specific car.
ETA: years and years ago he drove a stick, and I only would have driven that in an emergency. I also usually have him drive (or at least drive the most on long trips) simply because I don't like to.
We each have our “own” but we definitely can drive either. We usually take mine on longer trips for gas mileage but his is more fun to drive so sometimes I’ll just swap.
He’s much neater than I am too so he will usually fill mine up and get it washed if he takes it. Bonus!
I drive his but he very rarely drives mine. He's 6'3 and I drive a smaller convertible. It isn't super comfortable for him. He works from home so I sometimes use his SUV for longer trips.
I'm remembering now going from having our "own" cars to sharing and it was rocky for me LOL. I am a fill up the car at the end of a trip and he was a fill up the car before going somewhere driver. He also blasts the stereo when he's driving and doesn't turn it down before turning the car off. When I was seeing a fertility specialist and leaving at the crack of dawn for before work appointments whatever car I would take would be on E. And then when son was a baby the stereo would be blasting randomly when I would start the car after strapping him in. I'm glad he usually takes the old car now that I think about it! We also don't adjust the mirrors and seats all the time - I could not possibly share a car if that was the case, but he would still be "allowed" to drive it.
My husband has his car and I have my car. Whoever is driving, drives their car. I dunno, we just gravitate to our own cars.
Either person can drive either car, but I’d be lying if I said that I would not be confused if my husband left the house with my car keys and just drove my car somewhere.
It would be a conversation first of “Would you mind if I took your car for XYZ reason?”
We both have the same car, just different years. Whoever drives when we go out will take their own car. He prefers taking his even on family trips, because it has Sirius radio. (I realize there is now am app, but old habits die hard) I don't like driving his car because the windshield permanently has salt residue on it from when he didn't get his car washed after at all during a hard winter. We have had it detailed and it they couldn't get it out.
I wouldn’t say I “allow” it because we own together. He drives my vehicle frequently and it drives me insane. He adjusts all my seats/mirror multiple times a week.
Yes, we share both cars, especially now that we only have a car seat in one car, so that car stays with the baby, or the person who will be picking up the baby. E.g. if one of us goes out while the other stays at home with the baby, the person going out takes the car without the car seat. We each prefer to drive the car that is "ours" (we each came into the relationship with our own cars that are titled to us), but we both regularly drive both cars now, and have gradually stopped referring to them as "your car" and "my car" and instead now it's just "the Honda" and "the Toyota."
Yes, but I don't like to. He's not as careful with things as I prefer to be and I've noticed some dings and things when I let him. But sometimes I have to so I shut up and let him (I have a minivan and he has a sedan so sometimes he needs a bigger car).
I don't drive his car because it's a company car and I am technically not allowed to.
Both times I got large damage to my last car it was DH driving it. So yes he can drive my car (if his is in the shop, he is DD after a party or dinner, etc) but if we are both able to drive, I drive it.
I only drive his truck if I absolutely have to because I hate how big it is.
Of course! I hate driving so Im always happy to let my husband drive. I have the "family car" (Traverse) and he has a wrangler, so when all 5 of us go anywhere its usually in my car. With my husband driving it. I HATE driving his car.
We switch cars a fair amount. He has a 2019 Buick Enclave which is our main family car that we use on weekends and trips. I have a 2006 Corolla that is not nearly as nice or spacious, obviously. I take the Corolla daily to drive DS the 5 miles to/from before and after care, and to activities. H only commutes a mile per day though, so if the weather is snowy or something I'll switch and take the Buick since it's AWD. Sometimes I'll also take it when I'm driving to my hometown (45 min away) just because it's comfier and I can listen to podcasts (no aux port in the Toyota).
He never gives me any problems about switching when I need it. I'd love to get a more updated sedan for myself but the Toyota only has 78,000 miles on it and hasn't had very many problems so I will continue running it into the ground until I really need a car.
You must realize that that's low mileage for a car that old, though. I think the average driver puts something like 12k miles on per year.
But he’s doing like 50k a year. That’s a massive amount of driving.
Sure, he drives much more than a normal person, but she drives much less. It's comparing one major outlier to another at the opposite end of the spectrum so IMO not particularly relevant. Someone could be shocked that someone drives only 6k miles a year too!
Post by goldengirlz on Apr 25, 2023 13:04:19 GMT -5
This thread reminds me of when I was dating my H and he had a car while I didn’t. (I was living in NYC and he was away at school.)
At some point in our relationship, he started letting me drive it and it made things feel so capital-O Official ha. Driving his car was the BEST feeling because 1) he trusted me with it (which made me feel loved) and 2) a car! I could go to Wegmans in New Jersey! Or the Short Hills Mall!
We're a one car household now, but we've always driven each others cars, though mine was the main family vehicle until he got his (our) EV. His car before the truck was his commuter car so I only drove it once or twice. But we split driving on trips and stuff, so we both drove mine.
Post by midwestmama on Apr 25, 2023 13:19:11 GMT -5
Yes, we each have a primary vehicle (it's "his" truck and "my" SUV), but what's his is mine and what's mine is his. We don't separate finances or anything, so it's our shared money that we use to buy vehicles. If we take my car, he will usually drive, although he always complains about the sensors, so I have considered banning him from driving my car, lol.
We take whichever car makes more sense for the occasion. My car is more popular now because all the seats are heated seats (and even the middle row has the cooling option too) and it gets better gas mileage than his truck.
I primarily use the SUV because I stay at home with kids and we usually need the space. My H commutes around 25 miles each way and he uses a plug in Prius (which he can charge for free at work) so he takes the car because it uses zero gas this way.
When we’re both home, either one of us take the Prius as much as possible, unless we need the space of the SUV.
Whenever we go somewhere all together, regardless of car, I insist on driving. He’s a perfectly fine driver and I have no issue with him driving without me, but my anxiety insists that I’m always the driver 😊