Some one said elsewhere that they make their teen son's bed daily. This floored me. My kids are 9 and 12. They are responsible for making their own beds. If they don't, then it doesn't happen.
IF you make your kid's bed, how old are they? And do they identify as a boy? (I suspect there is a gender imbalance on expected responsibilities here).
My kids are fully capable. They are 10 & 12. They help me make my bed. I help them make their own as well. Some things are more palatable in pairs or groups. Knowing they aren’t completely helpless, and are in fact fully functioning makes me ok with doing boring chores together. Plus, they have bunk beds currently, so it’s a total PITA. Lol
They do plenty of other stuff solo. I’m ok with our life balance.
ETA I missed your gender imbalance question. No, both my kids are held to the same standards. Eff gender stereotypes. I don’t like that, I prefer helpful, kind, functional humans over categories.
My kids are fully capable. They are 10 & 12. They help me make my bed. I help them make their own as well. Some things are more palatable in pairs or groups. Knowing they aren’t completely helpless, and are in fact fully functioning makes me ok with doing boring chores together. Plus, they have bunk beds currently, so it’s a total PITA. Lol
They do plenty of other stuff solo. I’m ok with our life balance.
ETA I missed your gender imbalance question. No, both my kids are held to the same standards. Eff gender stereotypes. I don’t like that, I prefer helpful, kind, functional humans over categories.
Helping them is very different than doing it for them in my book.
Well, no one in our house makes their beds. So can’t really answer that, lol. But, when we change the sheets or whatever, I actually do it for DD (12) and have DS (10) do the re-making of the bed. Probably because his is the top bunk and she would be a-ok with sleeping on the mattress forever and that grossed me out. No one uses a flat sheet, so it’s just a fitted sheet, pillow case and light comforter. Everyone’s comforter just gets thrown on the bed. Least of my hills to die on.
Well... That would require me making my own bed daily which doesn't happen. Although I have been better lately! My kid is 5 though and her bed has been taken over by stuffed animals and their very specific set up. I'm not dealing with that more then the necessary amount needed when changing sheets weekly.
DH and I make our bed - pull up the sheet and comforter and stick our two throw pillows on, which takes about 30 seconds. My kids don’t make their beds and that’s fine with me.
Post by wanderlustmom on Apr 30, 2023 6:07:41 GMT -5
We have gone through phases. Actually it's mostly driven by how bad my anxiety is honestly. I love all the beds made and I would like it every day but I've moved on. DH and the kids don't care about made beds. When they were in elementary, either they made it or I made it for them because I liked all the beds made and it would help manage my anxiety. In middle, I started to let it go and just worried about my made bed so for the most part--theres were not made. Now in high school, same. DH makes ours and I have let go theirs being made unless I feel some anxiety and want the house all put together. They are 16 and 18 and they finally got to the place where their rooms are mostly clean all the time and I've had some growth in therapy. Me spending 20 minutes a day making three beds is not really the best use of my time
Post by maudefindlay on Apr 30, 2023 6:18:32 GMT -5
Yes we all make our own beds every day. I make mine and DH's as he usually gets up first, if I get up first he makes it. The kids are 10, 11, and 14. They all started making their beds around 4 or 5, but obviously they look better now as they are older. DS1 puts clean sheets on weekly. I still do that for the younger 2, because DS2 has a bunk bed and DD is still just a little short to reach across the bed, but they will likely change their bedding in the next 2 years.
My kids are 2 and 5. It brings me joy to have the beds made daily the way I want them to look. It does not bring me joy to see the beds after the small occupants of my house make them so we teach responsibility in other ways.
I have 2 girls, 11 and 5. The 11 year old makes her bed at night before she gets in it. I don't care if she has it made during the day. Little kid I straighten out her bed before bed. A neatly made bed has never been important to me.*
*I will put the tidbit here that my father was(is) very "everything in it's place type" and I have gone the totally opposite direction.
Post by wanderingback on Apr 30, 2023 6:50:18 GMT -5
Im not a huge bed maker. My partner usually gets out bed after me and makes it. I feel like this is one of those things I won’t really care about when my daughter is older. During the morning it’s the last thing on my mind. I think some people really like the look of a made bed so don’t mind doing it for their kids, no biggie.
My kids are 4(b), 9,(b), 12(g). I dislike unmade beds. I go into every bedroom every morning and either make it or remake it. My 12 year old daughter rarely makes her bed because of time management issues so I make hers daily. She fully knows how. My 9 year old makes his daily but it looks terrible so I fix it. I make my 4 year old bed because he doesn’t know how yet. I make them all help me strip their beds and remake them weekly when I do sheets.
Post by cricketwife on Apr 30, 2023 6:58:24 GMT -5
We all make our beds daily. My husband asks every morning st breakfast if they made their bed and sends them to do it if they haven’t. They are 6 and 9 and we’ve been doing this for years. We are happy with what “made” looks like for the appropriate age. I was their sheets once a week and on that day, I make the bed for them with the clean sheets.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Apr 30, 2023 7:08:02 GMT -5
I will throw the kid's blankets sort of over the top of their bed if they forget in the morning. If I notice before they go to school I will remind them. They both make their beds but to a very low standard, not what I would actually consider made. More like "blankets off the floor".
My son is disabled and that includes fine motor, gross motor, and executive functioning. All skills needed to complete household tasks. Unfortunately this looks like a gender imbalance on the surface. I have worked tirelessly with him on these types of tasks but at the end of the day, some he can't do and some he needs to spend 10x time to accomplish and it's not fair to expect that.
My kids beds do not get made. Ever. By anyone. I’m lucky if the older one even has sheets. But if they were to be made it would 100% not be by me. I do strip and resheet them though. It’s pure laziness/slovenliness as I am obsessive about making my own bed, so the precedent is there.
I'm not a bedmaker, I usually only make the bed after I wash sheets. DD makes her bed sometimes, she is 10. Yesterday I washed sheets and dropped hers off with the intention of coming back in a bit to help her make it up. She did it herself by the time I circled back, this was a first.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Apr 30, 2023 7:52:41 GMT -5
My kids are 11 and 13. They don't make their beds. I tell them to if friends are coming over. If someone is coming that is going to see their rooms unexpectedly I do quickly make their beds (like this week a guy is coming to install ceiling fans in all the bedrooms. I will ask them to make their beds that day, but if they forget, I will do it).
I do put clean sheets on their beds for them. They take their sheets off and put them in the laundry, but I put the new ones on. They CAN put the new ones on, this is just one of those things that it's just easier if I do most weeks.
I do make my/dh's bed every day. And if dh is still in bed when I get up, I expect him to make the bed when he gets up. I like lots of throw pillows though, and he refuses to put ALL the decorative pillows on when he makes the bed though, it's like his little act of childish rebellion.
They can but don't always. Only when I ask. Most days they stay unmade. I do make my 13yos when I change his sheets because its in the corner and his mattress is hella heavy.
I like to make my bed daily. I like to slip into a nicely made bed at night. If I leave for the day before my husband, it's usually left unmade and I will actually make the bed before I get in.
Post by chickadee77 on Apr 30, 2023 8:16:06 GMT -5
My girls usually make their own beds (4 and 8). But "making" it consists of pulling the sheet and blanket up to the pillow - I just don't care enough about it to enforce hospital corners etc. They're hit or miss on actually doing it, but they usually like to play on their beds during the day, which is easier to do when the blanket is smooth.
I make both beds, they (7 and 9 year old) have both done it in the past but if I want it to look nice I do it myself 😁
They wouldn't be able to do it daily anyways, they are up super early for school and it's a rush to get out the door....not adding another thing to our plates!