Post by chickadee77 on Jun 10, 2023 13:39:06 GMT -5
Thinking of you.
Anecdotally, my dad had bladder cancer maybe fifteen or so years ago, and has had no bad outcomes or recurrences. The treatment made him feel pretty crappy for a bit, but he said, overall, after being there for my mom years ago going through cancer treatments (chemo & radiation), his side effects were pretty manageable.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 10, 2023 14:48:07 GMT -5
Wandering I’m so sorry to hear this! Hope your family hangs in there and that your partner continues to get encouraging news about his treatment and prognosis. ❤️
Post by wanderingback on Jun 11, 2023 6:06:24 GMT -5
Thanks everyone!
I still don’t think he’s told anyone, except for maybe 1 friend that he goes out with regularly and they usually have a few drinks. So when they’ve gone out twice the past week I think he told him as to why the reason he wasn’t drinking. So I need to ask him if he’s ok with me telling my parents. We’ll be at our other house for a week so it’s be very awkward to avoid the reason why.
Also the cytology results and CT have been back for a week and I was able to understand them, but his doctor never messaged him. I feel like a week is a good enough amount of time for serious results. Granted, he didn’t message her to ask anything. But I’m glad the results seem "ok" and not anything we weren’t expecting cause that wouldn’t have been fun to read and figure out on our own.
wanderingback, the first time I had cancer (2004), my boss had also had the same type. One of the things he told me was that navigating the people issues is some of the most draining parts. And, I have to say, it can be a lot. Who to tell? How to tell them? Who to keep up to date and how? Who needs to know vs who wants to know? And the friggin “how are you *doing*?”, with the head cock and concerned face. It can be a lot. So, I don’t blame him for keeping it tight. Especially early. Hugs to him!
so, about 2 months into my 2019 saga I did the FB thing. Not for the likes 🤢 but just sharing in a way and a modality that works for me (to this day, I have a hard time verbalizing I have/had cancer, but I can type it just fine). Anyway, a couple days later, I was out at a show, acquaintance A came up to me a patted my shoulder and said “it’s so good to see you getting out and doing things.” Which gets a huge eye roll from me. Acquaintance B, a few minutes later, came by with a beer, and said something like “sooo… how’s you doing? I guess your health?” I raised my beer and just said “well, pretty fucked.” Obviously, everyone is different.
Post by wanderingback on Jun 26, 2023 17:14:27 GMT -5
He had the surgery today and the urologist called and all went well. It was surface level and still looked low grade. Obviously we won't know for sure until the pathology results come back.
My partner "permitted" me to tell my mom. She was of course seemed to be freaking out at first, but I assured her it all seemed like it was going to be fine. I do now understand kind of why my partner didn't want to tell anyone because managing other's emotions, even when they're well meaning, is a lot.
I'm going shortly to get him while my cousin watches the baby for a few while I'm gone.
The anxiety those first few days was a lot, but thankfully it does seem like this is just a small hiccup. Thanks again everyone for the positive thoughts.
Post by penguingrrl on Jun 26, 2023 17:19:43 GMT -5
Glad to hear surgery sounds like it was successful and the results were seemingly as good as they were. I’ll keep you guys in my thoughts! Hope he has a swift and easy recovery!
I feel him on managing others’ emotions when sharing health info. I end up doing this a lot when my husband has health issues, and I always dread it. It sucks because when things are already kind of scary for me, I end up having to deal with family members’ emotions and it’s just too much. But you need support too, so I’m glad he is okay with you telling your mom.
So glad that the surgery went well and that it seems to be the better scenario. Keeping you all in my thoughts. I imagine this is tough to process and can be a bit of a roller coaster of emotions.