Job help request (updated in OP)

[W.T.Faulkner]

Thanks for your help, guys. I turned down Job B today. They offered only 10% more than Job A for an absolute fuckton more work and responsibility, which is not what I need right now. I appreciate your input!

[gummybear]

Job A!

You know that old adage about the plane and putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you help anyone?

You need to take care of yourself. There will be other opportunities!

[janegold]

Reading between the lines of your post, it sounds like family and lower stress are higher priorities to you right now then money and career advancement. If that's the case (which, by the way is a totally valid choice!), I think Job A sounds perfect.

[kath16]

Job A - mostly driven by summers off. for me, lack of major stress is a huge plus and adds to flexibility while i have young kids

[blondemoment123]

Job A.
You deserve a break.

[sarahsays]

Job A.

Last year I took a step "back" career wise in the same way that it sounds like you're considering for many of the same reasons (though I don't have kids). I decided not to care what other people thought because for my mental health I needed the break of a less intense job that I can do in my sleep.

You can always become more career focused again in a few years if that is what you decide you want to do.

[waverly]

With little kids, personally I would choose Job A, then go for Job B at a later date. I am anti lean in and all about leaning out. But I've been at the same job for pre- kids and now that they are older, so be prepared you might be stuck in job A for longer than you might like. I happen to like my job, so it worked out for me to be here a while.

[sproctopus]

A. A potentially demanding job (the learning curve, higher pressure) is just nothing I'm interested in while being a primary caretaker. I like flexibility and being able to turn off at night from my job. I'm not a ladder climber either; I want to work and come home. That's it.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

[CrazyLucky]

Oooh, I'm torn. The summers off would be the biggest driver for job A for me. But, after a short decompression time, I would get really bored with a job I could do in my sleep, and I'd be looking for something more challenging anyway. So summers off vs. more interesting work... that's a tough one.

I wouldn't worry about job A looking bad on your resume. Easy enough to explain you needed a job with more flexible hours while your children were very young.

[scm1011]

Job A for sure. Aside from the burnout / primary caregiver issues already mentioned, Job B could be as little as $5K more than Job A for 2 months of extra (and more difficult) work? No thanks.

[smock]

Job A is the job for now. Job B is for the future, when you're recovered from burnout and your kids aren't so young. I would take Job A with zero hesitation, but tell Job B you're grateful for the offer and would be open to talking more in a few years.

[mel]

Jun 23, 2023 12:39:38 GMT -5 smock said:

Job A is the job for now. Job B is for the future, when you're recovered from burnout and your kids aren't so young. I would take Job A with zero hesitation, but tell Job B you're grateful for the offer and would be open to talking more in a few years.

This.

If there's one thing I've learned over the last year, being on autopilot at work isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have so much flexibility (in part due to an HR manager with a child with the same diagnosis as mine) that I'd really have to find a unicorn job to ever leave.

[lucybrown]

I was in a very similar situation last year. Also in urban education. I chose the option that best aligns with job A. I didn't think the increased supervisory responsibilities were worth the small salary increase.

I can do my job in my sleep. I get bored sometimes, but have zero regrets about my choice. Stress is lower. There is space for me and my family that likely would be reduced or non-existent in Job B. Perhaps I'll look more seriously for growth in the future. For now, this works.

[glw]

I also vote job A.
In addition to what others have already said, if you take job A and then in a while you're ready to move on to a job B-type role, you can say that you're ready for growth and that sounds good. If you take job B now and then want to move to A later, you'll need to explain why you need "less" and that's harder to explain (as a fellow eldest daughter-- I get it )

[jinkies]

Absolutely job A. Focus on yourself and your family, and enjoy the summers off!

Remember that you are not making a lifelong decision. This is a decision you are making for now. You can always look for a job with more responsibility in the future. But it sounds like you really need some breathing room in your life right now.

[noodleoo]

My kids are similar aged and I’d choose Job A. I work part time for the same reason (took a big step back in my career for it). I’d love to have summers off completely. Although my kids are currently driving me crazy, so only if the budget still allowed for some camps LOL.

I guess it depends how driven you are. I like my low stress life and can’t imagine going back full time. The difference in salary doesn’t appear to be too much either when comparing 10 month to 12 month contract.

[sofamonkey]

I’d suggest leaving your guilt over everything behind. It sounds like job A will help you hit your reset button, which you need.

What I am hearing you not say is that you might be worried about too easy of a job and getting bored. Be bored for a bit. You’re very employable, so when you do get done with that pace, then look for something else. But I believe you’ll find that job A allows you to focus on other things you want/need, and it’ll be better than you’re worried about.

[wildrice]

Job A, 100%. Having a job that you are satisfied with that meets your needs (IMO) is more important than career progression. You are also still very young and can always pursue a job like B later, once things are easier with your kids.

[7costanza]

Job A. You can always find another job B in the future and it sounds like you need some relief from the stress you’ve been under.

[lilypad1126]

Job A. Two and a half years ago, I was made basically the same decision, took my Job A, and am still very happy with it. I'm just now starting to think I'm ready to step back into a supervisory position. But then, when actually faced with an opportunity to do so at my current employer, I'm kind of shying away from it.

Even though it felt a little like a step back, and I'm kinda bored with my job some days, it was 100% the right choice. 2.5 years I've more than made up the small step back in salary.

A job does not have to be forever. If it's the right job for "right now" that's good enough. If it eventually becomes not the right job, you can find something else.

[SusanBAnthony]

For me personally and my personality, job b. For me a fresh challenge is invigorating and fun and totally different than being overwhelmed in my old role.

Figure out what YOU want. Not what it looks like on your resume or what your family thinks.

[dcn]

I first said obviously B. But, I am about 6 years in your future (my kids are 7 and 10 and I’m 42) and remembering back to when I had kids your age I immediately then thought A.

Nothing wrong with taking a little bit of a knee to catch your breath and get back to a place where you enjoy your life again rather than being stressed all the time. You can always look in a few years if you feel ready for the challenge.

[mpm]

Do the math on what your time is worth. I don’t know what the hard numbers are here, but 5k more for two more months a year of work doesn’t work out if we’re talking higher salaries than 25k vs 30k. 10k more to do two more months of work a year doesn’t work in your favor if we’re talking more than 50k vs 60k. Salary and time off are both parts of your compensation; you can’t just look at salary in a vacuum.

I’m not one to ever take the easier job; I’m also an oldest daughter and it’s just not me. But also, know your worth and this doesn’t sound like nearly enough compensation for the extra responsibilities and time commitment of job B. Let go of any guilt; this isn’t stepping back; it’s choosing not to undervalue yourself.

[wanderingback]

The pay on Job B seems like it sucks, so I would definitely take that in to account.
For me personally if the pay were more I'd probably consider and take Job B, but a leadership position for only 5k more is a no go.

[trytobearunner34]

Another vote for job A.

Anecdotal experience you didn't ask for, but explains my vote:

Two years ago I took a job, which on my resume was definitely a "scaling back" position, for several of the reasons you mention (a young child being primary). Despite "scaling back" I have added a number of important career tools, experiences, and opportunities that I would not have had following a typical trajectory and I would not trade them for anything. The scaled back position also included a VERY short commute which I have found to be worth its weight in gold!

[gummybear]

I read over the responses again and I want to reiterate what sofamonkey said. Let go of the guilt about what your career trajectory is supposed to look like. We, esp as women are so conditioned to travel through life (professional and otherwise) on some preconceived path of accomplishments, improvements and success. There is NOTHING wrong with taking a detour or sometimes even a whole fucking new route. In fact some of the best things happen along these unexpected paths.

[jennistarr1]

I vote job b because I think there are several aspects alone that will still be relief of stress you need

Having read through the answers, I fully support job A, and I don't think it will look bad at all on resume

[W.T.Faulkner]

Thanks, guys. I appreciate everybody’s insight. I feel like I “should” choose B since I wanted it for so long, but I am acutely aware I’d be signing myself up for another rough year for not much more money.

I think I have to trust the opportunity will come up again if and when I want it. After all, it’s not like there will be more competition a few years from now — this is a dying profession, lol.

[atarianna]

When we were TTC but not yet parents, my H and I both had super stressful jobs that required a lot of travel. I took a $25k pay cut to take a job closer to home with better balance anticipating having a family. It was hands down the best decision of my life.

Money is not everything, and at this point in your life having summers off with your little kids and (I am guessing) a bit more flexibility with your schedule with job A is paramount to any resume building.

Currently, I work PT just because I need the mental stimulation and positive affirmation that comes with it to survive.

[Roc A Bee]

Job A. But I also don’t like to work too hard. A job I can do in my sleep with summers off and better commute! No brained!